Coach: Fabio Capello. Don Fabio has been given the trust (see massive pay package) of the FA, and now must deliver. Astute if not ambitious, but ambition and creativity are generally not seen as World-Cup winning attributes. His defensive-minded, let the skilled players do their thing without fear approach sits well with England. It is how he galvanises the team's mentality and whether or not he can unite and focus them that will determine their fate.
Team: Capello is a noted art enthusiast. His favourite artist, Kandinsky, created modern abstract classics. Of Composition VII, Kandinsky stated "it was the most complex work I have ever created".
What does this have to do with anything? Well, it is a fairly tenuous way of saying that winning the World Cup with England will be Capello's greatest challenge. Without just saying "winning the World Cup with England will be Capello's greatest challenge".
Much like Composition VII was Kandinsky's finest work (in my opinion of course. You'll have to go to Moscow if you want to view it personally to find out), a World Cup triumph would be Fabio's finest hour. You sense that he relishes the task.
England have strong options all over the park, and have players of individual talent at least the equal of the world's best. England's players do everything well. Perhaps not quite as strong in one area as top Spanish passers Xavi and Iniesta, or as incisive as the Brazilians, but Lampard, Gerrard et al possess a physicality and a big game style toughness that few can match.
England can run a team off the park, but it is only of late that they have learned how to do so without having to constantly sprint around like 6 year olds in the playground themselves. When before, particularly in 2006, they would rely on simply having more legs than the opposition to force inevitable mistakes, they can now mix that stamina with a more measured attacking game. As a result, they match up well against any opposition.
Go back to Kandinsky though, and the crux of the issue is laid bare. Without focus, without balance, Composition VII would have merely been some painted shapes and colours draped on a canvas with no feeling or emotive meaning.
England have for too long assumed that their collective individual talents could overcome the inbalance that inevitably occured in the team when said talents were all accomodated (by being played out of position). Think Scholes wide left, Lampard and Gerrard together, Gerrard on the left wing (frankly anyone played on the left wing of late). England need to realise that creating a balanced team is paramount when winning the World Cup is the objective. With Barry in midfield, hell even with Heskey up front with Rooney, I think they may finally be getting the message.
The tactics. To be honest, you already know really. Not that exciting, not that much to write home about. They are simply effective when at their best. 4-4-2, Barry holding, Lampard drifting in front of him Gerrard cutting in and Rooney drifting wide left as he does with Man U. Heskey...well, have a look at the Emile Heskey Drinking Game on Facebook. That sums his game up rather nicely.
Rooney is what I think of as England's 'or' option. As in, " Lampard shoots from distance and scores, or Rooney grabs the rebound", " Terry heads in the corner, or Rooney hits a ridiculous volley from the clearance. Top corner. Boom"
Prediction: If England have gained the sufficient mental edge, then they go to the final. If not then exit stage quarter-finals at best. I don't think there is a middle ground here. Siding with the latter until they show me otherwise.
If they were a medical condition: Brain tumour. Compresses the Vestibulocochlear nerve, causing the disorders of balance, and also disturbs hearing, which usefully drowns out any doubting voices saying that it is in fact not 'our time'. Disturbs higher mental functions, leading to irrational obsession and single-minded lack of objectivity. Symptoms get worse as tumour grows. Flare ups every four years. Interestingly, symptoms made worse by alcohol.
United States
Coach: Bob Bradley. Experienced MLS coach in his day, and so has a good feel of which US-based players are on form. Like many coaches in American 'soccer', has an Anglophone view of the game. As such, his teams are rigid and compact, hustling their opponents.
Team : I am intelligent enough to distinguish between Football and American Football. Why can't Americans call American Football 'Football' and our Football 'Association Football' or something. I will not have the American sports media pandered to and refer to the word 'soccer', which I'm sure you'll agree is a simply hideous sounding piece of work.
If you don't like that America, well then I'll...I'll. Wait, come back. Where have you gone? Oh yes, that's right. No-one really cares about football beyond the seemingly compulsory backing of whatever branch of Team USA to put on an upset no matter the sport. The Miracle on Ice against the Soviets, the win over England in the 50's. Ideological differences or not, the Americans seem to just love beating people at sports that they themselves are apathetic about. Perhaps that's why they don't care about football much.
The US national team actually gets shafted a bit by this mentality, because on the whole they are pretty worthy of support. They punch above their weight given that their players are in the most part squad level talents on the European scene. The MLS has admittedly improved its standards of late. With its expansion into Philadelphia and Seattle it would also seem to be becoming distinctly more even. In fact, it was always a little too level a playing field. The US football community probably could have done with one dominant team to hate against. In general, that tends to raise interest and standards, if only for that one team.
South Africa was pretty fruitful to the Americans last year, with the US performing well at the Confederations Cup. Call it a fluke, call it irrelevant, but accept that it was certainly beneficial in terms of team cohesion and experience.
America are a combative team, although their lack of athleticism means that they struggle to match up against quality teams for extended periods (see the second half of the Confed Cup final versus Brazil when Brazil actually start trying). They are, though, experienced as in general many of their internationals started off young, and played an above-average number of under 17, 19 or 20 games.
The target man is still a prominant part of Team USA's game. Jozy Altidore and Brian Ching will probably start, and both can win the ball in the air. As such, the US put a lot of crosses into the box, many coming from the fullbacks. Partly, this is because their wingers are not up to the task of beating their opposing wingbacks with any regularity.
The back four is slow but experienced and well-drilled. They should hold up reasonably well. As should the midfield, where the coaches son Michael Bradley does good work, and could earn a move to a bigger club than Monchengladbach after the tournament.
Prediction: Second, then knocked out by Germany. They'll relish that game though, another chance to smash up some Teutons. Did they mention that they saved our asses in World War Two and that we should be eternally thankful? No, well then we should. Our special relationship eh?
If they were a medical condition: Headlice living in the hair of Troy Polamalu, Lebron James and Manny Ramirez
Slovenia
Coach: Matjaz Kek. Successful league winner as player and coach with Slovenian big dogs Maribor Lasco (apparently they're called MK Maribor now). Worked as youth team coach. Got promoted. Little else to say really.
Team: I've tried really hard to come up with something humerous to say about the Slovenians, but the fact is I simply can't come up with anything. My colleague Mr. Miller can attest to this. For a man who prides himself on his sharp wit and pointless knowledge this is extremely distressing, so please feel some sympathy.
(Disclaimer. Before we start, I apologise for the lack of appropriate accents and characters in the names of players. I'm sure you'll manage. If you do have a problem then please, please keep it to yourself. You are wierd.)
The Slovenians were certainly underdogs to reach South Africa, as they were matched up against the strong Russians in the playoffs. That they triumphed over the two legs hints that they are solid performers.
Solid, but little more in this bloggers humble opinion. I just do not feel they will pose a threat to make the knockout stages. There is just not enough in the bag to gain the required victories. Heck, I actually fancy Algeria more than the Slovenians, even though the evidence is to the contrary, because of some deep hope of an unusual team doing well. Admit it, you all have those feelings. Most just do well to repress them. Well, I'm stepping out from the shadows!
Slovenia are solidly organised and tough to break down, as evident in the playoff games. They are little else though.
They possess a solid keeper in Samir Handanovic. The big 6'5" stopper is one of Serie A's best and is underrated. A team like Milan or Arsenal could do far worse. The rest of the defence is solid and physical, yet limited. Basically just a group of no-namers then (while I would not consider Bostjan Cesar of ex-Marseille fame a no-namer, I accept that any sane person would).
Midfield creativity comes mainly from Robert Koren, who is also captain. At least they can say he plays in the Premier League now (STOP PRESS - No he doesn't. He got cut). Everyone else, meh. Other than Valter Birsa, who is another central attacking option playing well for an overachieving Auxerre team in France.
Upfront they have the unprolific Zlatko Dedic and the reasonable Milivoje Novakovic, both plying their trade in the Bundesliga. I once made Novakovic tournament top scorer in a Beyond the Cliche Towers FIFA 10 World Cup competition. I would advise against betting that this sets a precedent in the real world.
4-1-2-1-2 is the standard formation. There isn't much pace out on the wings, so look for play to be channeled inwards towards Koren, and for the forwards to recieve the ball to feet, probably with their backs to goal. Decent from set pieces, they scored their ultimately crucial away goal in Moscow from a corner in the 88th minute.
Prediction: Second bottom. Fade to irrelevance.
If they were a medical condition: Subclinical hypotension. No-one really notices it, and it is often mistaken for something with similar symptoms. Like Slovakia.
Algeria
Coach: Rabah Saadane, managing Algeria for the fifth non-consecutive time. Evidently not in possession of the most coveted job in the world then. Has concentrated on improving the morale and overall image of the team since taking on the job again in late 2007.
Team: Les Fennecs will have to look to another Desert Fox if they wish to seriously contemplate the knockout stages of the competition.
Field Marshall Rommel fielded a disciplined, well organised and effective side who knew when to strike and what their limitations were. Unfortunately for him, he suffered from external influences and was up against superior firepower which ultimately knocked him out of contention (Comparing the Afrika Korps to a football team. Check. Where else eh?). Algeria will need to summon some of up his spirit in order to achieve some success in South Africa.
I don't think Coach Saadane will be driven to suicide for his failures by his boss as dear old Erwin was, but his preparations could certainly suffer, as Rommel's did, from unrealistic expectations from the public back home. If too much pressure is put on the team to perform it can only end badly, particularly as many of their key players, Bougherra, Meghni and Belhadj, are fighting to get back some fitness and may end up overpressured.
Algeria have benefited of late by players choosing to represent them as opposed to migrating towards the national sides of European nations. Zidane set the precedent for this, and with so many Algerian plying their trade in France it has proved quite a task to identify and keep players affiliated to the North African state instead of their former colonial master.
The play of Karim Ziani is key to the team getting goals, and seeing as he has had a torrid time in Germany since moving to Wolfsburg, the signs aren't exactly promising.
The back four is pretty big and strong, but bear in mind that their best defender plays for Rangers. A more disparaging indictment I do not know of.
Striking options are basically those of Saudi Arabia and Iran at previous World Cups: high scoring domestically, lumbering, off-the-pace and generally lacking virtue internationally.
Prediction: They had better hope they don't beat the US, as that would draw attention to themselves and, seeing as they are the sole Muslim nation at this World Cup, they would probably end up on the Axis of Evil. Can they progress? Maybe. Will they? Almost certainly not. Does it really matter in the grand scheme of things. You guess.
If they were a medical condition: Is Islamic Fundamentalism a disease yet?
GM
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