The Squad lacks strength in depth (a metaphor to say that the new Three Lions is shit)

The official England World Cup anthem is a qunitessential part of any campaign, along with penalty heartache, grown men consequently sobbing into their Carling and media scapegoating (a list that in the last 20 years reads: Chris Waddle, Stuart Pearce, Ronald Koeman, Graham Taylor, Gareth Southgate, Diego Simeone, David Beckham, David Batty, Phil Neville, David Seaman, Darius Vassell, Cristiano Ronaldo, Wayne Rooney, Scott Carson). However, the recent efforts have been so weak that the FA decided that 2010 would not have an official song to captivate the nation. Here is why:

1990 - New Order - World in Motion - had John Barnes rapping and introduced the third syllable to Eng-er-land. Enough said.
1998 - Spice Girls and Ian McCulloch - On Top of the World - SHIT
1998 - Fat Les - Vindaloo - Boorish shouting about curry, hardly inspiring
2002 - Ant and Dec - We're On The Ball - Lessons needed learning from PJ and Duncan - don't let these guys anywhere near a microphone
2004 - The Farm - All Together Now - An unecessary rehash of an indie classic
2004 - The 442 (Talksport DJs - unofficial anthem) - Come on England - awful awful awful remake of Dexys Midnight Runners "Pass it.... like Gerrard, Lob it.... like Lampard"
2006 - Embrace - World at your Feet - Dross
2006 - Sham 69 - Hurry up England - the original was crap... this was worse
2008 - Oh hang on....

Only one song has been of genuine quality and stood the test of time - Baddiel, Skinner and the Lightning Seeds - Three Lions. This is probably because Baddiel and Skinner are genuinely funny and the Lightning Seeds were genuinely good musicians. The message, that England basically always screw it up, was one that was generally held at the time (Euro 96) after failure to qualify for USA 94 under Graham Taylor, who incidentally is so much better in the commentary box than in management, much like David Pleat - it's the blustering style. But, with the country hosting the tournament, there was genuine hope that they could recapture the halcyon days when football "came home". The optimism that was produced has lingered ever since, so the song clearly achieved its goals and has been heard regularly on many terraces.

So they decided to re-release it. With Russell Brand doing some vocals. Why? If the country in which I live can find no better musician to back the national team then so help them. Then there is the "It's coming home" line, with an opera singer providing some spine-tingling moments. But it won't catch on with the everyman in the stands, who generally is not a soprano. John Motson has also chipped in, with a "Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick"-style contribution (In the gardens of Japan etc). Which is awful. The whole thing is a waste of time - classics should be left alone (a rule that can be applied to tunes such as A1s cover of Take On Me). Which incidentally is something they have done to the lyrics, save for changing "30 years of hurt" to "All those years of hurt" - 44 just doesn't fit with the melody. It all just smells of laziness.

And then there is the main message of the song, "Football's coming home". It isn't, it's going to Africa. If it was the Civil Unrest World Cup then maybe... The gallows attitude that the general population of Blighty held in 1996 are no more, replaced with mindless optimism, encouraged by Ant & Dec et al. They don't think England's "gonna throw it away, gonna blow it away", they believe they have a divine right to win under Don Fabio and have done ever since Southgate shanked his penalty against Germany. And nobody really remembers '66 anymore, it's been so long that those who were alive are now subject to the Tories new schemes to care for the elderly.

Three Lions is great. But it should never have been revamped. The power that it had over people 14 years ago is no longer of any relevance. Times change.
RM