Those Bet365 adverts are annoying, aren't they? Ray Winstone telling you to stake your cash on West Brom getting a corner in the next 29 seconds and it being taken by a player born in a country south of the 13th parallel. Oh, bad luck with that one. But Hadjuk Split are announcing the official attendance of their game in a minute. Between 4356 and 4859?
Do you even know who Hadjuk Split are? You know they used to exist; do they still exist now? Can you be sure? Maybe you should Wikipedia it, but you only have 17 seconds left to put the bet on! There's no time! Panic, pressure. Arrggghhhhh!!!
Betting used to be simple. Go to a bookies with your mates, pick up one of the impossibly small pencils that make you feel like a big man and fill in a little slip of paper. Tick a few of the boxes and hand to the bird behind the counter. Leave.
I did this most weekends as a Fresher. It was the given thing for us sports-knowledgable lads to do.
I used to win almost all the time. That was nice, and the winnings meant a couple of extra pints. But that wasn't why I did it, or why any of us did it because we never actually made that much money. At the end of the day, we all knew too much about sports. We would consider all the likely results and bet on them. The likely results do not make you much profit.
I was on a train to Glasgow a couple of months ago. I remember vividly the conversation the two blokes next to me had:
"Wanna head up the bookies?"
"What fitba's on?"
"Some Eastern European shite"
"Aye, I'll come. But I'm only spending 50 this time"
I am an excellent predictor of results. I am, however, a terrible better. I am too programmed to follow the old adage 'knowledge is power' . I spend ages debating, analysing, pontificating on each bet. I will know at least a little about each and every one of the obscure 'Eastern European shite' teams. And this will stop me betting on them.
What kind of a person can so blithly throw money at things they don't have the slightest clue about? If you win, it's not through your knowledge or ability. Those are two things that I need to use to feel satified when betting because I am, in short, a narcissistic ego-maniac (I do have some nicer qualities).
And it is not reckless, or brave or free-spirited either. I applaud these traits more than most, but when I feel reckless, or brave or free-spirited with my money I go out and get absolutely pissed on one pound vodkas, or buy stupid trainers meant for black people, or watch Scotland play.
It is almost as if people now bet simply because the opportunity is there, handed to them on a plate by hundreds of TV adverts and internet pop-ups. I went to look at my Fantasy Football team earlier today (which obviously exists to prove my knowledge and fuel my ego) and I ended up with 3 separate SkyBet pop-ups tarnishing my screen, shouting at me.
This piece hasn't really gone anywhere, and for that I apologise. I just felt like saying all this, as isn't that what a blog is for? Normal, objective anaylsis and opinion will resume again soon I promise.
Normal, objective analysis and opinion to resume 16/12/10 - 2/1
Normal, objective analysis and opinion to resume 17/12/10 - 11/5
Normal, obective analysis and opinion to never, ever return - 3/14
I'm Ray Winstone. Bet on the next letter Graeme types!!! For "A" 7/1. For "B" 13/1...
GM
Do you even know who Hadjuk Split are? You know they used to exist; do they still exist now? Can you be sure? Maybe you should Wikipedia it, but you only have 17 seconds left to put the bet on! There's no time! Panic, pressure. Arrggghhhhh!!!
Betting used to be simple. Go to a bookies with your mates, pick up one of the impossibly small pencils that make you feel like a big man and fill in a little slip of paper. Tick a few of the boxes and hand to the bird behind the counter. Leave.
I did this most weekends as a Fresher. It was the given thing for us sports-knowledgable lads to do.
I used to win almost all the time. That was nice, and the winnings meant a couple of extra pints. But that wasn't why I did it, or why any of us did it because we never actually made that much money. At the end of the day, we all knew too much about sports. We would consider all the likely results and bet on them. The likely results do not make you much profit.
I was on a train to Glasgow a couple of months ago. I remember vividly the conversation the two blokes next to me had:
"Wanna head up the bookies?"
"What fitba's on?"
"Some Eastern European shite"
"Aye, I'll come. But I'm only spending 50 this time"
I am an excellent predictor of results. I am, however, a terrible better. I am too programmed to follow the old adage 'knowledge is power' . I spend ages debating, analysing, pontificating on each bet. I will know at least a little about each and every one of the obscure 'Eastern European shite' teams. And this will stop me betting on them.
What kind of a person can so blithly throw money at things they don't have the slightest clue about? If you win, it's not through your knowledge or ability. Those are two things that I need to use to feel satified when betting because I am, in short, a narcissistic ego-maniac (I do have some nicer qualities).
And it is not reckless, or brave or free-spirited either. I applaud these traits more than most, but when I feel reckless, or brave or free-spirited with my money I go out and get absolutely pissed on one pound vodkas, or buy stupid trainers meant for black people, or watch Scotland play.
It is almost as if people now bet simply because the opportunity is there, handed to them on a plate by hundreds of TV adverts and internet pop-ups. I went to look at my Fantasy Football team earlier today (which obviously exists to prove my knowledge and fuel my ego) and I ended up with 3 separate SkyBet pop-ups tarnishing my screen, shouting at me.
This piece hasn't really gone anywhere, and for that I apologise. I just felt like saying all this, as isn't that what a blog is for? Normal, objective anaylsis and opinion will resume again soon I promise.
Normal, objective analysis and opinion to resume 16/12/10 - 2/1
Normal, objective analysis and opinion to resume 17/12/10 - 11/5
Normal, obective analysis and opinion to never, ever return - 3/14
I'm Ray Winstone. Bet on the next letter Graeme types!!! For "A" 7/1. For "B" 13/1...
GM
No comments:
Post a Comment