Defending German Heritage

Before we begin, I would like to clarify that I am defending German heritage in a way very different to the way that it was defended in the 1930s and 40s. Mine involves a little bit more wit and observation and a little bit less ritual torture and bombing. A heritage need not be deemed a "Master Race".

There has been much criticism of the German national team over the past few weeks. For the first time ever it is not about the style with which they play - their counter-attacking and deadly finishing has captured imaginations globally. However, with names like Lukas Podolski, Piotr Trochowski and Cacau, it didn't feel like the halcyon days of German football with Der Kaiser and Der Bomber amongst other. Namely, the team wasn't German enough.

Well now, I have found evidence to the contrary. Browsing on YouTube as one does, I came across a figure from the BBC's historical documentary "Blackadder II". This particular image that I have procured (with all the necessary permissions I can assure you) depicts a German prison guard with a resemblance to one of Germany's allegedly imported stars, Mesut Ozil. After hours of painstaking consulting with geneologists, I can confirm that this man who held the Lords Blackadder and Melchett captive for a short period is in fact a distant relation of Ozil's, making him as German as leather shorts:

Further evidence has also linked Ozil to the English aristocracy. This distant cousin was identified as a likeness when flicking through a copy of Britain's finest newspaper. Of course, we know that all English aristocrats are actually German anyway, so what more evidence do you need?

RM