Culture Shock - When EUCC Hit Barbados

As Graeme recently alluded to, my silence on BtC has been nothing to do with a lack of interest in you the readers or (perish the thought), sport in general. I have in fact been away in Barbados. And, far from sunning myself and topping up the tan, I was there to play some serious cricket. But now I'm back, the Masters is on in the background and I'm off to Ochilview on Saturday to hopefully see the Lions win the league - my committment to the BtC cause was never really in doubt! Anyway, I thought I may as well regale you with the tales of my travels - a learning experience if ever there was one.

I captain the Edinburgh Uni 2nd team - we're not the most talented cricketers in the world but we make good of what we have and truly love playing the game. As well as enjoying a rum or four after the game (more of that later). We travelled out with the 1st team and women's team with limited expectations - the oppositon consisted of four top school sides and two Division 1 clubs. We knew the standard would be high and we would have to perform exceptionally to win a game. Which puts gloss on our eventual 1-5 record. Believe me when I say it's tough out there. Especially when you've been brought up in a cricketing culture that does not favour aggressive batting. We are taught in the UK to play ourselves in, get a good look at the bowling and accumulate runs rather than just looking for runs at any opportunity. Not in the West Indies - these kids just see the ball and look to spank it. The pitches are flat and force the bowlers to toil. Get it fractionally wrong and you will travel to the boundary with force and velocity.

Case in point - Game 2. We pick up a wicket in the 2nd over with a cheeky low full toss - if they can't play that delivery, the batting lineup isn't up to much. Out walks a guy with a Mongoose - one of those long-handled, no splice monsters. We have a few words about how we hope he can handle it . He could. The next three balls led to a 4 and two 6s off our premier fast bowler. All straight back over his head. Whilst fielding at square leg, I had a chat to their captain who was umpiring and found out it was Dwayne Smith's brother. That's Dwayne Smith of the Windies, one of the biggest hitters in world cricket. Eventually I took matters into my own hands and got the bugger out myself. He made 157 off 76 balls. I simply could not set fields for him, so good was his eye. Don't get me wrong, the guy was a complete cunt. But a very good cunt. One who taught us the value of the tightest bowling in the face of on onslaught and the value of backing yourself with the bat - at our level, you will always encounter bad deliveries. They need to be punished (something I actually learned to make a habit of on tour - lesson to bowlers on a hat-trick: don't bowl a wide half-volley to a man with a big bat! You will be dispatched!)

We also encountered Fidel Edwards' nephew (he was shite) and a club side for which former test cricketers Ian Bradshaw and Pedro Collins still turned out for regularly (they weren't so shite). You add in the schedule of a game, a lash, a day off hungover in Bridgetown, followed by five games on the bounce, with interspersed lashing in the evenings and you get tired. We got skittled for 85 in game 4 and hit our lowest point.

But we managed to regroup in spite of some niggling injuries and visible fatigue. By the time we reached the last game 0-5, I was pumped up - I told the boys this would probably be their last time playing cricket in the Carribbean and they had to push through the pain and show that it meant something to them and that they weren't just a bunch of guys who showed up for a good time and nothing else. We responded. The swing bowlers finally found consistent movement to pick up 5 wickets between them, aided by our brilliant fresher find, who managed to bowl superb spells of off-spin throughout the tour for little reward. 3-21 was a much more appropriate set of figures, although he did later put a sitter down off my bowling, which kept him firmly in the doghouse for a while! 185 to win in 35 overs. A veteran opener coming off the back of two straight ducks. 72 off 83 the response. A top knock, backed up by our normally sedate wicketkeeper coming out swinging like a Bajan local to see us over the line with 39*. 7 wicket win over a top club side and it felt comfortable - a huge achievement. Even the 1s only managed 2-4.

To say I was proud of the boys for their efforts throughout is an understatement. We've worked so hard over the winter and it finally paid dividends at the last. The winning skipper was rewarded with not a dirty pint, but a dirty litre. Containing straight rum, coke, lager, rum punch and (briefly) one of the lads' penis. Away it went. I didn't make it out to the bar that night. A price worth paying. It was great being exposed to a different style of cricketer, different conditions and different pitches. I'm pretty impressed that none of us wilted in the considerable heat. Every player will have learned about their individual game and developed a new weapon to unleash on the poor unsuspecting souls of BUCS League 3A! Myself? Bat positively down the order, adapt your bowling length if it sits up off the pitch and keep spirits high as a captain if things aren't going your way. If they are going your way, keep the squeeze on and back yourself that you know best.

What an experience
RM