The title says Les Francais Incroyable, but a better describtion of what happened to Les Bleus in Rome would be Les Fracais Incroyable (Francophobes, google translate it. Francais, n'est-ce pas genial?).
Their first loss to Italy in the history of the Six Nations, Saturday's showing was as contrasting a French performance to last years Grand Slam triumph as their involvement in World War One was to World War Two, or the Indo-China War, or the Algerian War, or the Hundred Years War, or the Franco-Prussian War. World War One being different, of course, due to the relative lack of national humiliation and the time spent doing things other than surrendering.
History doesn't lie (unless it is written by the church). It does seem that the French have mental strength constructed from glass. Some things are cliches and myths, but some are based on genuine fact. And I know what I saw on Saturday. And so I am using it as a sweeping judgement.
The French team were presumably present on the field during the game, but there was no evidence to show it. No spark of innovation, no shimmer of desire, none of the many responses that normal people would surely show when stuck taking a degrading beating from a theoretically inferior opponent. I really do wonder how a Frenchman would react to being mugged by a hoodie, or being trapped in a bank robbery with only police negotiator Denzel Washington to save them (sorry, I am watching a film called The Insider as I write. It's middle of the road). I reckon they would be as likely to give the criminal a bunch of flowers, or sit down and smoke, or nonchalantly stand stroking their genitals as they would be to fight back.
Getting back on track, the players were all very poor and didn't seem to care much about it. I have watched teams like South Africa have bad games, and they never look like they don't care; they storm around the pitch swearing and generally being angry, because they know that losing hurts. And they know that they used to be able to win, so why should they have to lose?
The French never display this in any sport. See the football World Cup for further proof (2010. And 2002. Plus Euro 2004 and 2008. And that's just this century!). How do you manage such a group of people? Are all Frenchmen like this, or does the indolence get worse as the talent level increases? I don't know. and I suspect only a French person really could. I do know that as a nation they are incredibly passionate about rugby as a sport, and that they demonstrate fanatical levels of hatred for local rivals. Perhaps this just does not translate to national unity and passion well. Perhaps they dislike each other's local identities so much they simply cannot buy into the traditional hyped up "Do it for your country! Honour the badge!" motivation.
All this still does not exclude coach Marc Lievremont from criticism. His histrionic response to the result was to call his players cowards, saying that they betrayed him. While I do like the line "Do you really think that I told them to play as they did?" and can definately back the argument that the manager is detatched from the actual play, his describing the pre-match training as "disgusting, appalling" is hypocritical; who ran the training Marc? And his line "I have done the rounds of the French players...I am having real trouble putting together a squad" is appaling. Fucking stop playing old shite players then! You have tons of players to choose from; try having to pick Nick De Luca every game for the past 6 years!
I started writing this piece earlier today and scribbled down a new team lineup. I have watched a fair bit of Top 14 this year, and there are a lot of guys that should be around the national side but aren't (I did, and still do, think that of Yoann Huget but he has been pretty pish now that he has played for France. Can't win them all!). Coach Marc chops and changes some players, but leaves others safely riding the gravy train. Sebastien Chabal, I'm looking at you! Even if you are rather nice in person. He and Nallet have been offering diminishing returns for some time now, and new blood should be brought in. On the other hand, a man like Harinordoquy who gives so much should never be dropped in any sane world. In the backs, reputations cannot get in the way of playing style, and Rougerie, Jauzion and Damien Traille just don't fit in. The halfbacks, Parra and Trinh-Duc, do though. So I've kept them in, but revamped the backline. These new additions should be put in place for the World Cup challenge ahead.
France team against Italy: Sylvain Marconnet, William Servat, Nicolas Mas, Julien Pierre, Lionel Nallet, Thierry Dusautoir, Julien Bonnaire, Sebastien Chabal, Morgan Parra, Francois Trinh-Duc, Vincent Clerc, Yannick Jauzion, Aurelien Rougerie, Yoann Huget, Maxime Medard.
My new look France team: Thomas Domingo, William Servat, Nicolas Mas, Julien Pierre, Yoann Maestri, Thierry Dusautoir, Alexandre Lapandry, Immanol Harinordoquy, Morgan Parra, Francois Trinh-Duc, Julien Arias, David Marty, Matthieu Bastareaud, Maxime Medard, Jerome Porical.
(Changes in bold)
A lot of the existing team is perfectly fine, the front row for example (typically, Lievremont always changes it anyway). Add in Sebastien Tillous-Bordes, Julien Dupuy. Alexis Palisson, Florian Fritz, Cedric Heymans, Louis Picamoles, Elvis Vermuelen and Damien Chouly and you have a large, younger and revamped squad. It is a World Cup year. Changing things here and now is prudent to see if the new lot of players will actually exhibit some fight when the going gets important. Porical, Marty and Chouly are all Perpignan players. They show a lot of spirit when playing for them; would they show the same when playing for Les Bleus? If not, then I guess it proves my earlier point about where French passions lie.
(Stop Press: Interestingly, Lievremont has just named a new squad for the Wales game. It is surprisingly similar to mine, albeit not as radical. Nevertheless, I am a bit worried that we seem to think alike!)
GM
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