Scotland vs Wales - the Live Blog

4:35pm - Afternoon one and all. After thoroughly enjoying the Superbowl live blog last weekend, I thought I'd give another one a go. However, unlike on Sunday I cannot guarantee an unbiased approach - in fact, it's just not going to happen a) because it's Scotland and b) because I hate the Welsh. Even the most hardy thick-skinned Welshmen will probably be offended by this blog at some point. I don't really care. After the horror and misery of last year, any sympathy I could ever have for that shower is well and truly out of the window. I'd fancy a bout of revenge today.

4:40pm - Aaaarrrggghh! The BBC would start with last year's game wouldn't they? I still have no idea why Mike Blair didn't boot the ball into orbit. Jonathan Davies' voice still goes through me like a knife. Funnily enough, I saw the Scotland boys in training this morning. Outside the student union. Great to see but ever so slightly bizarre. Robbo's men look up for this. But no Richie Gray could be a big factor in this game, after he was so inspirational in defeat to the French last weekend.

4:50pm - Tributes fittingly paid to Scotland's Thom Evans, whose career was cruelly cut short in THAT game last year (last time I refer to it unless gloating later on). Now the spotlight falls on Welsh stand-off James Hook, totally inexperienced in that position on this stage. We'll see how he fares. Scotland line-up as follows: Southwell, Walker, Ansbro, De Luca, Evans, Parks, Lawson, Jacobson, Ford, Murray, Kellock, Hines, Brown, Barclay, Vernon. Wales line-up: A bunch of sheepshaggers, leek farmers, close harmony choir singers and tosspots. The only ones I acknowledge are skipper Matthew Rees and scrum-half Mike Phillips. Because they're in my fantasy team. No other reason. Teams are out.

4:58pm - Time for the anthems. One of the reasons I hate the Welsh is that they all think they're amazing singers. As the camera pans along the team, it's pretty clear they can't. Don't get me started on their signposts. The crowd are out of time with the band - inexcusable. What a dreary anthem. Now let's sing about kicking the English...

5:01pm - OK so we may have been a touch out of time too, but we don't profess to be amazing singers. Let's get this on! How I wish I was there - tickets just too expensive for a poor student!

4 MINS - A slow start - Scotland win their first lineout, Wales lose theirs. Scotland looking slightly the more adventurous but a lot of kicking from hand thus far. First scrum for Scotland after a Welsh knock-on

7 MINS - Scotland 0 Wales 7 - Shane. Fucking. Williams. James Hook silences the critics with a great bit of creativity and Williams finds the gap to run through for the try. Question marks over the Scottish tackling and indeed that scrum, which was comprehensively lost to set up the move. Hugo Southwell's kicking looks terrible already.

12 MINS - The old handling errors are returning to haunt Scotland, as first Jacobson and then Lawson knock on in decent positions. Penalty to Wales after a daft offside - Hook squeezes it in. Scotland 0 wales 10. Jonathan Davies' voice is grating already. Can the BBC not afford someone who actually has a fair grasp of the English language?

18 MINS - It's a horrible, horrible start for the hosts. The words "false dawn" appear to be relevant in this situation. Error strewn and bereft of ideas, the defense creaks until Ford comes in from the side and Hook kicks another penalty to take the Welsh tally to 13. Lee Byrne goes for a high ball and gets clattered by Southwell. Davies reckons it should be a yellow through those daffodil-tinted spectacles of his, but quite frankly the first contact is a boot in Southwell's face from the cheating, diving bastard Byrne. Lamont comes on for a bloodied Wisden as the penalites continue to stream in for the visitors. Scotland 0 Wales 16

23 MINS - Bradley Davies in the bin for Wales. Phillips misses a high ball and Sean Lamont bursts through into the 22. Davies kicks the ball away, Scotland go for the corner and attempt to drive

27 MINS - Dirty Welsh down to 13 as Byrne clotheslines Max Evans. Scotland need points now. Davies continues to bleat about the Southwell foul. The man needs to get a grip. Or a hobby. The Welsh hold firm against a Scottish onslaught. If Scotland don't get 10 points before half time there's no hope.

31 MINS - Parks gets Scotland on the board after Dan Lydiate holds on in the ruck. Scotland 3 Wales 16. Another burst from Lamont almost takes Scotland over the line but the move breaks down after Ansbro gets given a poor pass which he can't haul in. Bradley Davies returns.

37 MINS - Opportunity wasted as only 3 points added in the sin bin period. Just so many errors. I'm sorry I can't be more witty today. This performance just isn't funny. The only saving grace is that Livingston won 3-0 to extend their lead at the top of the league in the football!

HALF-TIME - Finally an effective Scottish scrum as Craig Mitchell infringes to give Scotland a late penalty. Which Parks almost totally screws up, sliding on his arse (it's a dry day in Edinburgh, believe me). Quite simply, an awful display from Scotland. Dominated in the scrum and at the breakdown and continually shooting themselves in the foot with their handling errors. Scotland 3 Wales 16.

5:59pm - Right, I've gone off to fry some chicken to help myself get over that first half and possibly inspire Joe Ansbro to hold onto the ball. Will it be the Robbo roasting or the strains of Loch Lomond at Murrayfield that inspires the turnaround?

45 MINS - Looks like Southwell won't be returning. Lee Byrne seems to be the catalyst for self-inflicted Scottish injuries. Remember Geoff Cross two years ago? The errors continue - Scotland just do not look like scoring.

48 MINS - The thought occurs that Wales actually haven't been that good today. It's a pretty dour affair, the visitors just took their chances when they were presented to them. Al Kellock takes a nasty one from Phillips, but seems OK to continue for the time being. Pretty bad-tempered game this one.

53 MINS - It appears that Dan Parks is back to his old self. And that's not a good thing. After 17 phases of hard graft and slow progress, Parks eventually decides to play an unnecessary and poor cross-field kick which falls safely into Welsh hands. A waste of good momentum - when do we ever put 17 phases together without dropping the ball?

58 MINS - Eventually a spell of Scottish pressure tells in the scrum and Parks gets the scoreboard moving again. Scotland 6 Wales 16

64 MINS - A heroic last-ditch tackle from Lamont on Jamie Roberts as Wales pick up on a loose ball to break free. It really is a great bit of defensive play but it's a Welsh penalty all the same. 3 instead of 7. 19-6

69 MINS - Lamont found wanting that time, as there is so much space for Shane Fucking Williams to continue to torture Scotland. Walker's pass was so awful, Jonathan Davies picked it up and found the space for Williams to run into and score. It's the stuff of nightmares now. Stephen Jones misses the conversion. The other Jonathan Davies climaxes in the commentary box. My hand really hurts from whacking the wall. 24-6.

77 MINS - It's all very well winning Autumn tests and summer tours. But we really need to start showing up at the Six Nations. This has just been woeful - there can be no comfort drawn from this inevitable defeat. The Robinson Revolution has well and truly stalled.

FULL TIME - Scotland 6 Wales 24. Sam Warburton wins Man of the Match. You could say that it's been bread and butter for Wales! They're still not a good team but Scotland just didn't show up. Far too many errors. I certainly will not be going out tonight with all the Welsh buggers around. I'll just hit somebody. At least Take Me Out's on and I kept my cash in my pocket rather than forking out for a ticket to that shite. Goodbye!

Editor's note: Graeme shot himself in the head with a big shotgun around the 35 minute mark...

RM