Going Up Top: Week 6 in the NFL

It seems very much the case that RBs have been the biggest beneficiaries of the off-season lockout. So many guys are having so many big games around the league regularly, as run defences cannot seem to get any plays going. This week it was the turn of Michael Turner, Rashard Mendenhall, LeSean McCoy and Ahmad Bradshaw to go big, and they quite rightly took the plaudits for leading their respective teams to crucial victories. However, we at BtC like to look beyond the obvious - here are some of the other difference makers in Week 6:

5. Shane Lechler (Raiders) - Faked FG pass to Kevin Boss for 35 yard TD. Everyone knows we like a trick play. This one turned out to be a game winner as Oakland triumphed 24-17 over the Browns in their first match at the Black Hole since the passing of Al Davis. With Jason Campbell's collarbone shattered earlier in the game, the Raiders had relied on Jacoby Ford's kickoff return to get them into a position of strength. Lining up for a 53 yard FG seemed perfectly reasonable given Sebastian Janikowski's powerful leg. The Browns' blocking unit, totally missed the run of TE Boss and he was given a free ride into the endzone. One further exciting development around Campbell's injury is the possible return to NFL action of Carson Palmer!

4. Corey Webster (Giants) - 4 tackles, 1 assist, 2 INTs. It was a tight affair at New Meadowlands, with the difference in turnovers proving key as New York prevailed 27-24 over the Bills. Buffalo had at least one INT in their 5 previous matches this season to sit at an unexpected 4-1, including 4 picks off Michael Vick last week. However, for a change, the Giants and Eli Manning were able to keep possession of the football and allowed Ahmad Bradshaw to have a big day with 3 rushing TDs. It was CB Webster who made the big plays on defence to twice pick off Ryan Fitzpatrick and set up Laurence Tynes' game winning FG.

3. Josh Freeman (Buccaneers) - 23/41, 303 yards, 2 TDs. UK NFL fans should be very excited at the return of Freeman to Wembley next Sunday. After making his debut as a rookie in a blowout defeat to the Patriots two years ago, Freeman has relied on his unique skillset, as well as voodoo (in-joke), to become one of the hottest prospects in the game today. I love him, even if he has been overshadowed by his peer Matthew Stafford up in Detroit so far this season. Tampa seized control of the NFC South by beating the Saints 26-20, Freeman utilising the deep threat of "No Country For" Arrellious Benn for a 65-yarder in the first half. What was more impressive is how he put last week's tonking by the 49ers out of his head and came back looking much more assured and accurate in the pocket than he had done.

2. Kurt Coleman (Eagles) - 5 tackles, 2 assists, 3 INTs. Yes, it's the gratuitous Eagles pick. Only this time much deserved. Coleman was a 7th round pick last year but came up big alongside fellow second-year safety Nate Allen, giving under-fire defensive Juan Castillo (he's an O-Line man for Christ's sake) the big plays he needed in a 20-13 win over divisional rivals Washington. More importantly, his 3 INTs finally ended the ludicrous idea that Rex Grossman was going to take the Redskins to the playoffs. He's really not. John Beck came on and ran in a TD but it was too late. Coleman has done the rest of the league a big favour!

1. Chicago Bears' O-Line and Special Teams - Another unit that has finally done what everyone had wanted for such a long time and got Donovan McNabb benched in Minnesota. Christian Ponder came on and did OK, and will probably get the job this week. For an O-Line that generally gets Jay Cutler sat on his arse most of the time, only giving up 1 sack and allowing 119 rushing yards is a big result, especially as Cutler looked at his best in completing 2 big TD passes. Further to that, although Devin Hester always gets the credit, the blocking that allowed him his 98-yard kickoff return was also top notch. The Bears won 39-10 - a big offensive performance even without Matt Forte at his very best.

RM

IP-Hell

It will come as no surprise to regular readers of BtC that I am rather fond of my cricket. Moreover, like most fans in this country, I am particularly fond of my Test match cricket, particularly in light of England’s recent success, becoming the Number 1 side in the world. But questions need to be asked of the rest of the world’s cricketing fraternity – who else really cares? Does Test cricket really have a future outside of England and Australia and, if so, for how long? Will the behemoth and cashcow that is Twenty20 cricket soon overshadow its’ purer (much) older brother to the extent that men in whites will be a phenomenon confined to the village green rather than Eden Gardens and the SSC in Colombo?

Those of you who have started following the new Twitter feed (@BtCliche) will know that I intended to write a piece on how the BCCI (Board of Control for Cricket in India) is killing cricket at some point at the end of last week. Recent developments have made the points I was originally looking to make all the more pertinent. The ICC had originally scheduled a World Test Championship to take place in England in 2013 as part of the latest Future Tours Programme (take a look, it will make your brain run out of your nose if you try and make sense of it), featuring the 4 top ranked teams in the rankings (currently England, South Africa, India and Australia). However, owing to contract agreements with broadcasters, they have been forced to admit that they will more than likely have to stage the obsolete 50-over Champions Trophy (essentially the Diet Cricket World Cup) in its’ place, because the loss of revenue would be unpalatable to many of the national boards in these times of austerity. Now, have a guess which board could afford this loss but also stands to make the most from advertising and viewer subscriptions? Yep, that’d be the BCCI

If anybody watched England’s whitewash of India over the summer, it is pretty clear to see where the BCCI’s priorities lie. With the massive global financial success of the IPL and the sense of fervour surrounding their 50-over World Cup win back in April, it makes a lot of logistical sense for the BCCI to focus on these shorter forms. As a result, there was such apathy and nonchalance from many of those who took to the field in the four match series a few months ago. We can probably absolve Rahul Dravid and Praveen Kumar from such accusations, but for all their sterling batting line-up, did anybody else really live up to their billing? The old guard are beginning to creak and there are few signs of anyone able to step up into their shoes and adapt their game to the longest form. Young guns such as Suresh Raina and Virat Kohli are household names due to their exploits in limited overs cricket. However, Kohli didn’t even make it to England so poor was his debut Test series in the West Indies and Raina was given such a horrible working over by the short ball and even by Graeme Swann. This from a man who excels at smacking spinners out of the park in the IPL. Yes, the bowling was also crap, but nothing’s really new there – Swann is a rare breed in that he can be effective in English conditions, Harbhajan Singh and Amit Mishra’s efforts were pretty much par for the course for a visiting spinner, especially ones in a team whose focus is so clearly elsewhere.

As far as I’m concerned, if India want to recede in Test cricket, they can go ahead. So long as they fulfil their FTP (readers in Glasgow, that’s the Future Tours Programme again, not Protestant fundamentalism) obligations, then that’s great. However, the BCCI must stop using its clout to halt the progression of Test match cricket for everyone else. The Umpire Decision Review System has been around for a few years now in some form or another and has fulfilled its main purpose in raising the percentage of correct umpiring decisions made during a game. There are really only three main incidents that stick out – Daryl Harper being a tit as usual as 3^rd umpire in a Windies v England match in 2009, Hotspot failing to detect a couple of nicks from Dravid and VVS Laxman this summer and Hawkeye providing one tracking error in several thousand attempts in a Philip Hughes LBW decision against Sri Lanka a few weeks ago. You can never be 100% accurate – but when the technology exists and has been proven to be effective in coming to the right decision, it should be persevered with. However, the BCCI has been continually suspicious of the technology. So much so that when the initial recommendations by the ICC were made for the rule changes that came into effect last week, only Hotspot was to be part of the mandatory DRS package for all bilateral series. A few incidents such as the Laxman vs Michael Vaughan Vaseline-gate saga (basically the Indian public made a mountain out of a molehill and Vaughan is no longer welcome in Mumbai) and their suspicion of Hotspot began to grow. Cue more pressure on the ICC and lo and behold, DRS is no longer mandatory at all – we are back to where we started.

The truth is that for cricket to expand and reach new markets, the ICC needs the support of the BCCI. Everyone in world cricket knows this. Especially the BCCI themselves. They will always pull in the fanatical crowds for the IPL, they will always find ways to bring more money from more sponsers into their coffers. So long as the rules allow a competitive Indian side in 50 and 20 over cricket, then they and the rest of the screaming Indian nation will be happy. If the ICC put their foot down and alienate the BCCI for the good of Test cricket, then they will lose a lot of their own revenue from a billion cricket fans, and the long-term future of the entire game looks bleak.

Talk about a rock and a hard place

RM

Going Up Top: The NFL Season so Far

One of the problems with the extended hiatus of BtC is that we have got behind with some of the more important sporting events in recent times. After a pre-season that for all intents and purposes appeared to be heading towards stalemate with the furore over the negotiations for a new CBA, the NFL returned with very little time for teams to prepare themselves for the attrition ahead.

As ever, we are looking to count down the top 5 performances from each week's play on the gridiron. However, for catch-up purposes, here are the top 5 performers so far as we each call it:

Ryan's Top 5

5. Cullen Jenkins and Jason Babin (Eagles) - 22 tackles, 11 sacks, 1 FF between them. For a team at 1-3, it may seem unusual to pick a couple of D-Linemen, but then you forget how bad Philly were against the pass last season. The Dream Team tag has been shot out of the water, as Andy Reid's men have proven that building through free agency is not the way to win a Superbowl. However, Jenkins from the Packers and Babin from the Titans appear to be much better business that star CB Nnamdi Asomugha, who just does not seem to fit into the Eagles' scheme. Maybe time will change things. For now, the D-Line is proving to be extremely effective against the pass. The inexperienced LBs and secondary are like a colander against the run. Sort it out.

4. Cam Newton (Panthers) - 1,386 yards, 5 TDs, 5 INTs. He's an entertainer. He's an icon. He's 1-3 as well. But hey, who deserves praise just for winning? It's not as though Carolina have no running game - DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart are more than capable of carrying the football and pounding out the yards. But the faith that the Panthers have shown in the No.1 overall draft pick has more than been rewarded. The former Auburn QB has a big arm, more accurate than many of us thought, with the ability to scramble out of the pocket for positive yards as well. He's not been perfect, but then he's playing in a terrible team. The potential that he's shown must have the fans in Charlotte licking their lips.

3. Wes Welker (Patriots) - 40 receptions, 616 yards, 5 TDs. The Pats offense has been on fire. Save for a surprise second half implosion to the Bills where Tom Brady threw 4 INTs obviously, but even then you cannot take away from the effect that Wes has had. On that day alone, he had over 200 receiving yards and remains a nightmare matchup in the slot. God knows how he does it, lacking in the physical attributes that some of the other players in this countdown do (hint hint No.1...), but Welker has truly stepped up to be Brady's go-to guy since Randy Moss moved on.

2. Darren McFadden (Raiders) - 75 carries, 465 yards, 3 TDs. Finally, an Oakland first-round pick who came good. There is hope yet for Darrius Heyward-Bey. McFadden really is the Oakland offense, given the limited capabilities of Jason Campbell and the lack of any really consistent receivers. They may only be 2-2 but McFadden has stood tall and made big plays with pace, power and an eye for the holes in other defences. Which, given the limited preparation time in pre-season, there have been plenty of!

1. Calvin Johnson (Lions) - 24 receptions, 321 yards, 8 TDs. A beast. There is no other way to describe him. Given his towering frame, it has been easy for Matthew Stafford to find his favourite target in the endzone over and over again. It's basically like a basketball game. Detroit are 4-0 thanks to two ludicrous comebacks from Stafford and his offense, the highlight of which was a 24 point turnaround on Sunday against the Cowboys, where Megatron managed to haul the ball in for six whilst in triple coverage. A secondary's nightmare. More or less than 25 TDs when the season is over? If Stafford stays healthy, who knows what might happen in Motown? And let's be honest, who would grudge them any success?

And You All Thought We Were Dead

Sometimes a break is the best thing in life. Take the sabbatical that Michael Yardy took after the cricket World Cup - look how much closer he is to the England squad after... oh hang on a second.

This is a little different. Various life commitments over the past few months have meant that Graeme and I haven't managed to spend a lot of time talking sport. A lack of Internet and Sky Sports further hampered us during August (never get Virgin Media, ever - especially when moving flat). Add in long working hours and you get the picture.

However, I believe the time is right for a relaunch. Look out for more BtC blog posts in the coming weeks, including the much loved (well we enjoyed it) RedZone feature, coverage from the closing stages of the Rugby World Cup and, inevitably, cricket. We may even get a few more live blogs in as well, so joyfully un-PC were the previous efforts. After 18 months of work, it'd be a shame to disappear completely.

To this end, I have created a Twitter account @BtCliche. Please follow us for little snippets of sarcasm and vitriol in a sporting context for those times when we just can't manage to give a full blow by blow analysis of the latest thig annoying us about Scottish football.

Much love, and if you actually ever read this blog - please follow it, just so we know that it's not just the two of us and our parents (and worryingly enough our girlfriends' parents - that gave me a shock...)reading it.

RM

The River Of Dreams

Winning Wimbledon is not just a British obsession. Witness Novak Djokovic winning the title today and dropping to his knee's to literally taste the grass of SW19.

The post-match, on-court interviews really struck me this year. Usually, I do not care for the practise of immediately badgering a response out of an either elated or despondant sportsman; nothing interesting is ever said. Today, though, the candour with which both Djokovic and defeated Rafa Nadal spoke was genuinely uplifing. The Serb staded that Wimbledon had always been his dream, and that he thought he may still be asleep. So he sleepwalked his way through that final then?

Djokovic was often brilliant, sometimes inspired and always composed throughout the 4 sets. His play in the 2nd set in particular was the best tennis on display at this year's championships. He had tactics, targetting Nadal's backhand service returns and cross court game, and he executed them flawlessly. Combine that with his talented offensive game; something that has come on tremendously in the past half year. Before, I have stated that Andy Murray needed to get to Djokovic's level of consistency to have any chance of winning Grand Slam's. This view is now too harsh on Djokovic; his game is still consistency, but in a manner that nobody else in world tennis is now able to stand up to. He is now an overpowering force, as opposed to a reactionary one like Murray. His elevation to World Number 1 is undoubtedly deserved, and adds another interesting twist to the men's scene.

(Plus, his victory means that I predicted the winner correctly from Day 1. Which has literally never happened before.)

I give a great deal of praise to Nadal as well. I think that his foot injury was impeding him in the later stages more than he showed outwardly. However, without regard to any of this speculation, he was outplayed and beaten today. And he accepted it with the grace and humility of a real champion. We are truly fortunate to have tennis players and men of the calibre of Nadal, Federer and Djokovic. The crowd certainly knew this; the cheers for Nadal in defeat were if anything louder than for the victor. I was genuinely a little moved by his respectful behaviour and connection with the crowd. He will be back, and they will cheer him again.

GM

He Didn't Start The Fire

Vladimir Klitschko is certainly a good fireman, smothering David Haye's 'over-zealous' challenges with ease last night in Hamburg.



(For today only, my posts will be using Billy Joel songs as titles)

The Ukrainian's unanimous points victory can be considered a successful night's work. Ultimately, questions over Klitschko's ability to excite an audience were of less importance to him than shutting up ill-recieved challenges to his reputation. He put together yet another solid display of strategic boxing, and reaped the rewards. This still does not make him a thrilling boxer to watch, or even a particularly memorable one, but it reinforces once and for all the fact that he is a great talent nonetheless (seriously, he looks like that, and he still got with Hayden Panettiere. That certainly took talent).

David Haye can be a lot less pleased with how things went. Seriously, after all of that pre-fight hype, to lose on points in a foreign land is his worst case scenario. It has cost him his belt, and with it his shot at a lasting legacy.

I forgive Haye's brash behaviour in the leadup to this bout. It, by hook or by crook, got people interested in the match. I do not think that Haye is genuinely a jerk; he has merely recognised that playing the bad guy would be good for bigging up the event. Frankly, it is the way he earned the 50% of the total fight revenue he eventually secured. If he wants to tarnish his name for the sake of money, then that's his choice. It is at his doorstep, after all, not ours (as Brit's).



I do not, though, appreciate a fighter who does not live up to his word. Haye was more defensive than Klitschko for almost all of the 12 rounds. He demonstrated no ability to breach the Ukrainian's defences early on, or to deliver hits of real power, and failed to take risks as the fight developed. Surely he could see that, without an aggressive approach from start to finish, he was always prey to the judge's whims. All his slips and falls, whether tactical or otherwise, certainly didn't help his image in the scorers' eyes.

I fail to see exactly what Haye actually did during his months of training. Too often he threw horrible, full arm club swing hooks; rarely did he connect with any strong shots to the head. And even as the 12 round dawned, he still refused to take the risks needed to get his hits in. At some point he must have realised that Klitschko's defence wasn't going to crack; that should have been the time he decided to become more aggressive, and sacrifice some of his defensive solidity in order to land the punches he needed to.

All in all, I am just glad I didn't pay to watch this.

(To be fair, the intro's, featuring Lennox Lewis and George Foreman, were pretty sweet)

GM

Better Still, Until They Go Wrong

Fantastic - a perfect subject worthy of continuing our little "From Russia With Love" dialogue! Manchester United completed the signing of young Spanish goalkeeper David De Gea this morning to take their summer spending to around £50 million. There is also talk of them pinching Samir Nasri off Arsenal before the start of pre-season training, which will set them back at least another £20 million (incidentally, Arsenal are screwed next season - will patience with Arsene Wenger finally run out?). Fergie's intentions are clear - having been totally outclassed by Barcelona in the Champions League final last month, he needs to build the next golden era, cementing their place at the top of the English game and creating a team able to compete with Messi et al (and Real Madrid for that matter).

With De Gea, Phil Jones and Ashley Young, you undoubtedly have talented footballers worthy of wearing the red at Old Trafford. But are they actually an improvement to the current United side, which, whilst comfortably champions this year, are nowhere near the best that Ferguson has had at his disposal over the years? With De Gea, his hand has been forced. Edwin van der Saar, the best since Schmeichel, has finally retired having seemingly been playing football my entire life. He simply refused to go away and generally continued being excellent all that time. Thomas Kusczak and Anders Lindegaard could never dream of matching up to his standards, let alone those of the Great Dane. De Gea is a young pretender, with a big frame and superb reflexes making him an excellent stopper in one-on-one situations. Having just won the European U21 Championships with Spain, he is essentially the new Iker Casillas. But at half van der Saar's age, will he command both the penalty box and the language essential for boring through Rio Ferdinand's thick skull in the same way? Time will tell of course, but Fergie has put a lot of faith and cash into the long-term investment. My gut instinct tells me that there will be the odd clanger, but De Gea will be No.1 at Old Trafford for the next 10 years. By which time Fergie will be dead. Put money on it now - new signing still to be at United when manager dies. Good odds guaranteed.

Jones and Young are the ones that confuse me a touch. I just cannot see where the upgrade is despite the fact that they are most certainly amongst the best of the young English talent at the moment (which in itself says a lot). It is clear that Blackburn's struggles last season were primarily caused by their lack of attacking flair, so sought after was Jones, along with his defensive partner Chris Samba, who is currently being courted by Arsenal. Again, he has all the physical attributes to be a success, but is the centre of defense really somewhere that needed strengthening? Are Ferdinand and Nemanja Vidic not the best all-round centre-backs that United have ever had? Would it not have been wiser to have invested in some full-backs who don't perpetually get caught out of position by any winger with a bit of pace and nous? Certainly, Ferdinand's body is on it's way to packing in altogether, so I suspect Jones will get some game time next season, but is mainly one who will come into his own in the future - another who could be at Old Trafford for a fair while. But his arrival will not be the difference between Champions League runners-up and winners.

Which brings us finally to Ashley Young, signed for that tantalisingly frustrating fee of "undisclosed". Just tell us OK, it makes life a lot easier when calculating team's net gain/loss in transfer fees during the close season (it gives me a break from calculating bowling averages etc). Who has he been signed to replace? Certainly not Paul Scholes, who liked to sit deep and distribute - Young is much more pacey and reliant on trickery in his creativity. Much has been made of the number of assists he created for Aston Villa's frontmen (known for the most part as the Darren Bent Show in 2011), so perhaps Fergie views him as a man to keep the chances coming for Rooney and Hernandez. But what about the investments made recently in Antonio Valencia, who looked resurgent on his return from injury, and Nani, who despite falling out of favour towards the end of the campaign was the Fans' Player of the Season? Perhaps he will play off the front two - but then what was the point in extending Ryan Giggs' contract for another year? To keep him out of trouble (Graeme will represent me in court)?

What I'm getting at is that I don't believe that Young is any better than any of those players. At Villa, he was the big fish in an ever shrinking pond. They no longer had ambitions for trying to break the top four and were more content with life in the top half. It's a move that will suit the player's ambitions more than it will suit United. In all likelihood, Nani, in my opinion the best of the current attacking midfielders, will be moved on to accommodate Young in the starting XI, with no further use for Park Ji-Sung's industry either. And I see no net gain from this for United and so I question why it was necessary to splashed out so many undisclosed millions on a man who will not be capable of singlehandedly lifting them above Barcelona in the European pecking order.

United have stated their intentions by splashing the cash so far this summer. However, the personnel they have brought in will not immediately give them their wishes. Now if they could get Nasri on the other hand...
RM

Sex Differences

(Before we start; Ryan, I use a lighter)

Wimbledon has now reached the stage where most of the matches are interesting. So far the tale of the tournament has definately been the discrepancy between the men's and women's tournaments. Basically, all the pre-tournament men's favourites are winning, while all the woman's favourites have already lost.

This year's opening rounds have gone by fairly anonymously. There has simply not been a memorable match to talk about in the early stages. Going back only as far as last year we had the Federer-Alejandro Falla near-upset and the Isner-Mahut physiology-defying encounter. No such excitement occurred this year.

Now that we are in the latter stages, though, things have started to pick up. We lost Robin Soderling, Stanislas Wawrinka, Gael Monfils and Andy Roddick before the 4th round, and last year's runner up Berdych fell soon after. We now have a quarter final lineup featuring Feliciano Lopez, Mardy Fish and young Bernard Tomic competing with the big favourites. Nadal's 'will it-won't it' injury might make the final stages even more interesting, and could provide Andy Murray with an actual, quantifiable chance of reaching the final. My tip is still Djokovic but, frankly, let's just see what happens.

The women, in stark contrast to the men, have been fucking up all over the place. The consistency in the women's game is terrible; witness Li Na, with the best form entering the championship and with the French Open in the People's trophy cabinet, crashing out early. Both Williams' are gone, proving that experience and testosterone can only take a rusty player so far. And daft old Caroline Wozniacki, upon finding out that her route to a first Grand Slam was wide open, promptly got herself beaten as well. It's looking very much like Sharapova and Azarenka will be competing in the final, but with the sheer random nature of this year's results, I reckon it is just as likely that Virginia Wade comes down from the commentary box and wins the damned thing herself.

GM

Known Knowns

Yes I've been incredibly lazy in the last few weeks - the second and third Tests were such damp squibs that I simply didn't bother to cover them and all the other Wimbledon coverage, a classic Canadian Grand Prix and some ludicrous transfer rumours have simply passed me by. But then I am on holiday. So I'm over it.

Regarding Graeme's analysis of Saturday's T20, the highlights of which I caught on my way back from Istanbul (I resisted the temptation to ask a man in a suit if he had a match), he felt that someone with a little more experience in cricketing matters needed to analyse where it all went wrong. So here I go:

Michael Lumb and Craig Kieswetter were the openers in the Caribbean World Cup victory last year. Since then, Lumb has been injured and overshadowed domestically by his Hampshire opening partner James Adams. To my mind, Bell should be in the side in his place - I have a very vested interest in Kieswetter, who offers that extra dimension with the gloves as well as a superior technique. But, like Lumb, he goes hard at the ball early doors. You can only really afford one opener to do that. Bell, in the form of his life, should have been there to help his less experienced colleague to keep his head.

Suranga Lakmal did not bowl shit. Thissara Perera did. Sri Lanka are a much better one-day outfit than they are a Test unit. As a unit, with the wiles of Malinga and Jayasuriya, they gave England nothing. The only man in the XI who is not worthy of selection is Luke Wright, who is an all-rounder in that both his batting and bowling are equally mediocre at best. Rather than looking at it as an inherent problem in English T20 cricket, let's just say they had a real off day. And I actually thought Jade Dernbach bowled pretty well. Even if his name is horrendous.

Finally Broad - I will defend him by saying that selection decisions are not made by him alone. But he must stopping bowling short deliveries all the time. Yes, he does bowl a very good bouncer but by persisting with it the element of surprise is lost and you can be lined up and dispatched. As he was here, along with the very average looking Chris Woakes (Tim Bresnan would have played if fit - but Woakes is young and needs to learn how to control the new ball better. His time will come again). And you cannot position yourself at fine leg as a captain, especially in T20 when you need to be constantly changing your fields. I've done it myself for half an over and felt totally isolated from the decision-making process and so swapped myself back into the ring. This was a chastening debut for him. But he may learn.

Or he may not...
RM

Confronting My Known Unknown's

The month of June is principally a holiday month here at BtC. Suffice to say that not much gets done when one of our writers is on a well-deserved holiday, chasing the sun in exotic lands, and the other has just finished working God knows how many days in a row in a demeaning 'job' and has just mustered the effort to write something tonight. I'm sure you won't need too much help working out who is the happier of the two of us just now.

(To give you an insight into the immediate future of the blog, after a brief holiday of my own in July, Ryan and myself will both be back at the helm together, ready to once again give our usual combined 200% committment to Beyond The Cliche.)

This blog prides itself on consistantly covering as many sports as possible, and while Ryan and I can both write copiously about some things, there are a few topics that one of us clearly knows more about than the other.

This would be fine for 90% of the year, when we are both around to cover for each other. Sadly, as mentioned, we are currently in the 10% of the year that leaves me attempting to write about motor sport and (deep inhalation of breath) cricket.

So Sebastien Vettel has shown up the doubters who had started to predict the end to his dominant form with a strong win in Valencia. Other words to describe his performance would be canny, controlled and well thought-out. In other words, boring. To be truthful, it wasn't much of a watch, and I couldn't stay with it until the end.

The finishes of Mark Webber and Jenson Button were more interesting though. webber's 3rd place puts him equal to Button points-wise, and these two will be the closest challengers to Vettel from here on out. Not that this challenge will be particularly fruitful though; the German's 77 point lead equates to a lofty lead. Vettel will have to screw up at least two races and watch Webber or Button claim back to back wins to be in any way anxious.

On to cricketing matters. This will actually be the first time I have ever written about the sport in any capacity, so I am as interested as you about how this will pan out! Let's enter the Twilight Zone...

I've been given an easy topic with which to debut my cricket journalism; England's T20 performance against Sri Lanka. Ryan has already talked about the Sri Lankan's visit; this game in Bristol was a stand alone 20 over outing which seems to me to be no more than padding for the tour.

The main point of interest here was the captaincy of Stuart Broad, leading England's T20 side for the first time. Basically, he didn't do that well. I should probably write a bit more than that, shouldn't I?

The 9 wicket loss can certainly be described as a hiding. It really demonstrated the weakness of the English batting order. Broad's deployment of Craig Kieswetter and Michael Lumb to open things up, ignoring the better form of Ian Bell, failed when both men were retired quickly. Kevn Pietersen and Eoin Morgan worked out well together, punishing some shit bowling from Suringa Lakmal and Thisara Perera, but their dismissal led to the prompt collapse of English resistance. Bell in the middle order could have prevented this, but Broad chose to fit more options with the ball into the side. This didn't really help much though.

Chris Woakes and Jade 'Why mum, why' Dernbach were beaten up, and Broad failed to lead by example. With everyone else failing to threaten, Graeme Swann stayed on trend and contributed nothing either. Jayawardene and Kumar Sangakkara easily led the Sri Lankan's to their modest target.

This loss was partly down to bad luck; Kieswetter and Lumb leaving the party so quickly pretty much screwed up England's mindset, but their selections were both probably justifiable given their County form. The capitulation of the middle and lower order is of more concern though, and needs to be analysed by someone who knows more about cricket than I do. All I can say with certainty is that it really didn't work.

But hey, it was only one meaningless game, just as this is the only one time I'll need to write about cricket this year. It was just there to fill the void.

GM

ALex McLeish: One Man's Trash Is Another Man's Possibly Drunken Folly

I have no idea what is going through Aston Villa owner Randy Lerner's mind right now. Up to this point, he has been regarded as one of the best owners in football; he provides enough money to compete but not so much that the club is financially compromised, and he stays in the background.

It seems now, though, that he wants to come out and play. Signing McLeish up as the new manager has provoked a furious backlash from the Villa supporters, and their reaction is quite understandable. The man was in charge of Birmingham, he won them a cup and he got them relegated (ordinarily, that last fact would be cause for adulation in the Holte End, but not so much in this case. It would be like laughing at your hated next-door neighbour's hilarious penis operation complications, and then seeing that the incompetent surgeon responsible is scheduled to do your upcoming brain biopsy...).

This story is brilliantly encorporating various topical issues into one. There is rioting (popular in Greece) and a lack of consulation with ordinary people (popular with the Cabinet), and to top it off Birmingham are refusing to accept McLeish's resignation and are threatening to get an injunction to prevent him from taking his new job. It's a different kind of injunction to the Giggs kind, but maybe they could go down that route too. McLeish could be allowed to take the Villa job as long as he is referred to only as Mr. N.O.B whenever he visits St. Andrews?

All of this un-Lerner-like behaviour seems to have been triggered by Martin O'Neill. The man seems to be far more infuriating to work with than we thought. The appointment of General Charles Krulack as non-executive director was not enough to keep him in check (yes, Lerner appointed a freaking Marine Corps General). O'Neill seems to have driven poor old Randy from his previous sanity to madness. Although he is also the owner of the Cleveland Browns, so infer from that what you wish.

Either way, giving Gerard Houllier a job was, on the managerial appointment spectrum, somewhere between 'misguided' and 'fantastically hilarious'. Even discounting the man's health issues (side point; how shit at his job was the man who said "yeah, you'll be fine to manage again"?), he was several years removed from English football, and hardly suggested that he was particularly clued in when he was at Liverpool. This whole thing was bound to end badly, while Robert Pires randomly ambled about the midfield looking dazed.

And so the fans were a bit concerned. If Houllier was Lerner's choice, presumably from a pool of other blokes at least as good, then surely it suggested his decision was a little 'off'. And now we have men such as Martin Jol, quickly snapped up with little trouble by a reactionary Fulham, rejected in favour of a man who failed completely last season. With their biggest rivals. Seriously, the idea of immediately giving him your club to manage nstead is as bad as Inter deciding that breaking 100 years worth of traditional animosity was worth it for half a season with Leonardo. And that was bad, let me tell you.

So, again, I have to say that I have no idea what Randy Lerner is thinking. What is certain is that everyone has had to change their evaluation of him and his tenure. McLeish had better be worth it.

GM

Next Man Up...Wait, Where Is He?

Tennis is our immediate concern here at BtC Towers (that, and our impending relocation to The New Beyond the Cliche Towers At Edinburgh. A new age perhaps?). With the successful showings of Nadal, Federer, Djokovic and Murray at Roland Garros, plus strong performances from guys like Del Potro who are coming back to their best, this year's Wimbledon looks to be a real cracker. Heck, even Serena Williams is back! Forgive me if I cheer on Wozniacki and Sharapova instead of the terrifying American though.

While I will be covering the upcoming events at the All England Club pretty thoroughly, right now I'm going to bring the spotlight back to the upcoming Rugby World Cup in New Zealand.

Ok, maybe the spotlight hasn't actually reached this event quite yet. A tournament held in a country literally the world away from us Europeans will always struggle with exposure, and the tragic earthquake earlier this year somewhat dampened the celebratory mood. One feels strongly for Canterbury, which now has no rugby to look forward to. On top of the whole earthquake thing.

A big issue for New Zealand rugby, besides winning the bleeding tournament, is the issue of player retention. We are now in the void between the latter stages of the Super 15 season and the start of the World Cup in September, and already a substantial number of players have signed up with teams in the Northern Hemisphere.

This number is sure to rise after the tournament itself; rugby down South essentially operates on a 4 year cycle, with players packing their bags after the World Cup and unions having the next 4 years to find their replacements. All three of the SANZAR countries operate in this way, for better or worse.



I fear New Zealand might be missing their priorities of late. We can all see the importance of keeping world class players like McCaw and Carter playing at home, but there is a point at which you start to fixate on keeping these players and start to neglect the other blokes on the team. These guys will start leaving, and the worrying thing is that the stars themselves aren't sticking around either.

The Hurricanes are losing Ma'a Nonu for example. But they are also going to be without Tialata, So'oialo, Schwalger and Hore next year. Likewise, the Blues are going to have Luke McAlister (who has been effervescent this year) leave, and so will John Afoa. These two teams are losing both All Black players and blokes who are around the national team setup; maybe they aren't quite the best option in the land, but they're a damn good spine to a team.

Most of the players on a New Zealand Super Rugby team are quality; certainly, they will be better than their equivalent squad member on an English Premiership side. This is as may be, but the Union needs to remember that these players are as finite as the star names. Fine, one or two leaving is manageable, but for entire backlines and scrums to leave as one is a concern.

The fact that Afoa, and men like Matt Berquist of the Crusaders, are being lost to Irish teams has really pissed New Zealanders off. But, frankly, if your players are being poached by a bankrupt Union to freeze their nuts off playing in glamerous Limerick (I was recently in Ireland, and wasn't that impressed. It's just like Britain, but with an undeserved international reputation. in fairness, that reputation means it is crawling with Americans, so swings and roundabouts I guess), you should be wondering why they're all so keen to go.

Plus, history tells us that the big names leaving is not usually much of a concern. Carter went to Perpignan and headed straight back home. Rocky Elsom of Australia became a better player at Leinster, and returned South to captain the Wallabies. Victor Matfield wasn't harmed too much by his spell at Toulon. In light of this, New Zealand have to ask themselves whether Richie McCaw is really worth the hastle if it means he's the only man left on the team.

GM

Playing through Pain - a History

A year ago, Graeme wrote about Andy Murray's departure from the French Open. In it he highlighted that whilst Murray has a great deal of talent and ability on a tennis court, it is the mental deficiencies that he seems to possess that have held him back from winning that elusive first Grand Slam. Indeed, there has been further evidence in the past 12 months that have fuelled this particular hypothesis - the dispiriting loss to Novak Djokovic in Australia being the prime example of this.

However, despite the fact that there still exists deficits in his game that separate him from the Holy Trinity of Djokovic, Federer and Nadal, you cannot fault the mental aspect of his game and his sheer guts after Nadal knocked him out in the semi-final at Roland Garros last weekend. This was the furthest Murray had progressed on his weakest surface and he had played the last three and a half games with a crook ankle. The resolve he showed to bounce back from two sets down and an overnight delay against Victor Troicki, when it looked like he wouldn't make it on court at all, was exceptional. His quarter-final against Juan Ignacio Chela was not a vintage performance but it was a straight sets victory all the same - Murray was able to utilise his patient rallying against a technically inferior, although more in-form, opponent, waiting for him to make the mistake, although able to attack if Chela began to dominate. He saved his best tennis for that semi-final against Nadal, but just came up against a man who will ALWAYS be better than him on clay, on any given day. But Murray can take a lot of comfort from this tournament all the same (although he still won't win Wimbledom). To honour his performance, here are five examples from other sports of people excelling in discomfort:

GOLF - Tiger Woods - US Open 2008: Who knows? This could be the last great moment on the golf course from Tiger. After announcing this week that he would not play in this year's US Open, it is clear that Manwhore-gate has left him a changed man. Just three years ago, he was able to play a major with a very dodgy knee and win. Now, I suspect most people will be thinking that injuries in golf wouldn't affect you that much. You try driving the ball over 300 yards, transferring weight onto the joint. Then try walking 4 miles in the sunshine for five days straight, excluding practise rounds. Then have the focus, determination and willpower to blank out the pain and play your shots. Oh and once you've tied for the top spot, play another 18 holes in a playoff against an underdog opponent (Rocco Mediate) who the whole world wants to win instead of you. And then beat him in sudden death once you've played that round. The man is/was a machine and the admiration for this tournament should never be lost.

CRICKET - VVS Laxman - Mohali 2010: The man just loved batting against Australia - 6 previous centuries, including two staggering doubles from the most aesthetically pleasing bat of his generation showed that Laxman could always get himself up for facing the world's best. This was not the best Australian side by a long shot (their next assignment was to get pumped in the Ashes) but the baggy green still acted as though a red rag to a bull. Australia held a slender first innings lead thanks to Shane Watson's 126 and Mitchell Johnson's staggeringly not wayward 5-64. However, as the pitch deteriorated, India gave themselves a sniff by bowling the visitors out for 192 second time around, giving them 216 to win. Laxman had pulled a groin in the Aussie 1st innings and had batted 10 for India, making just 2. However, he was called upon to try and rescue a near-impossible situation on one leg when India were reduced to 76-5. That was soon 124-8, but VVS led the counter-attack with nothing to lose and an unlikely ally in Ishant Sharma, who occupied the crease for the best part of two hours. Who needed to run when you could hit beautiful boundaries like Laxman? Sharma fell 11 runs short, no.11 Pragyan Ojha nearly ran himself out, leading to a scolding from VVS but they squeezed over the line with 1 wicket to spare - Australia's lack of ruthlessness had been exposed, Laxman proved he had true grit to go with the beauty of his strokeplay.

NFL: Jack Youngblood - 1979 Rams post-season: I have to admit this story rather fell into my lap. Whilst doing a little journalistic research into this article, I saw the NFL.com had a "Top 10 Gutsiest Performances" segment of which this was No.1. So I delved a little deeper. And shuddered. LA Rams DE Youngblood broke his leg in the divisional game of the 1979 NFC playoffs, where the Rams upset the Cowboys. X-Rays showed a fractured fibula. Rather than calling the season there, the team captain decided he would just tape it up and get back out there with the troops. Everyone knew about his injury, so he could quite realistically have expected O-Linemen to take a shot at him to increase the pain. However, the Bucs were totally shut out by Youngblood's D-Line in the Championship game, who fell just short to the Steelers in Superbowl XIV. And then Youngblood went off to the Pro Bowl - you wouldn't see modern day footballers doing that if they had a slightly stiff back, let alone a broken leg. The ultimate lad.

Formula 1: Robert Kubica - Canada 2007, Italy 2011: So much bouncebackability he did it twice. First of all this crash in 2007:



Some things are better seen than explained. Kubica missed the next Grand Prix, but came back to finish strongly at the end of the season, beginning to establish the reputation as one of the sport's finest young drivers. Until he smashed into a church whilst rallying in Italy during the off-season, severing his right hand and spending a good couple of months in intensive care as a result. They even sent him some of Pope John Paul II's blood from Poland in an attempt to work a miracle. I would hope that that is not the reason that he is expected back testing before the end of the season and a return to racing in 2011 has still not completely been ruled out. Whatever, he is making a great recovery and clearly has great mental strength to overcome such horrible accidents and get back in a car.

FOOTBALL: Terry Butcher - England vs Sweden 1989: Yes I know it's lazy. But less lazy than citing Bert Trautman as the finest example of footballers playing through injury. We know Trautman broke his neck, but he was a Nazi goalkeeper and therefore was a bit of an idiot. But Butcher was so much cooler because he was fully aware of the extent of his injury, seeping blood out of a headwound. And yet he kept challenging for the ball in the air, soaking his white shirt in blood. England held on for the draw that sealed their birth at Italia 90, the tournament where they achieved most in the modern era - it was Butcher's fighting spirit that embodied the Three Lions on that occasion, and those fighting qualities have never really been replicated by those pulling on the shirt since.

RM

Clearing The Backlog

I haven't done anything on the blog for a while now, so I apologise. I came down with an acute case of 'can't-be-arsed-itis' last week, either because I was out in the sunshine, or because of the mind-numbing mundanity of my current life. Or maybe something in between.

Anyway, I've missed a couple of footballing stories and I think that they deserve to be covered. Therefore, sit back and enjoy one of my trademark rambling, meandering articles with no real structure or journalistic quality (if you want that, you've definately been reading the wrong blog for the past year).

So Manchester United lost the Champions League final to Barcelona. Completely unsurprising that the Reds were outclassed; they were fielding a team weaker than the one that lost to Barca two years ago, featuring a central midfield partnership of Carrick and Giggs, the men who were rubbish in that previous final. Would anyone be surprised to hear that they were equally rubbish this time. Love may be lovelier the second time around, but ageing, ineffective midfield combo's certainly aren't. Especially against the best team in the world.

It never ceases to surprise and annoy me how easily the English media are capable of collective sollipsism. Anyone could see that A: Man U were weaker than before and Barca were stronger, and B: The Premiership this season was of a crap standard. Those two facts did not add up to an English victory at Wembley. For some reason, though, even 'informed' and experienced writers like Henry Winter and Kevin McHarra are seemingly not allowed to point this out.

Speaking of Wembley, England were unable to beat Switzerland there yesterday. Enough said really, but suffice to say that Spain, Germany or the Netherlands would have won that match. If you are not even in the top three footballing nations on your own continent, you have fuck all chance of winning a World Cup boys. The biggest shame of yesterday was actually that, had results fallen for them, Montenegro would have topped England's qualifying group. The country has only existed for 4 and a half years for fucks sake! Bulgaria, pull your finger out!

Finally, ending things up in Switzerland (this happens a lot. Nazi gold, ill old people...), Sepp Blatter can be happy with his victory in the FIFA presidency election. Against himself. But hey, he was clearly ahead of Josef Fritzl, Fred West and the President of Yemen in the popularity polls, so I guess he would have won with opposition anyway. The most concerning thing that has happened at FIFA has not been the corruption scandal, or the corrupt election. No, it is the news that former US Secretary of State and Human SuperDeath Calculator Henry Kissinger has volunteered to personally sort out the FIFA mess. It seems that football truly has gone MAD...

GM

Respected By Those Who Got Rained On Too And Made It Through

I've taken to paraphrasing Barry Manilow this week. Life becomes pretty desperate at times eh? And all this after expecting use a lyric highlighting how shit rain was and how it makes life pretty dull - Travis would have sufficed. But despite of the drab weather and slow-going cricket for four and a bit days in Cardiff, England pulled off the unlikely in forcing a result in the most spectacular fashion. That bowling performance on the final evening was worthy of comparison with the other grandstand finish of two years ago at the SWALEC, when James Anderson and Monty Panesar defied Australia's bowlers to clinch an unlikely draw. Similar to that Ashes contest, the cricket in the lead-up to the finale was somewhere between attritional and tedious in the entertainment stakes. But I had nothing exciting to do other than revise for my exams, so I still manage to take in most of it. Here is the score and review:

1st Test (Cardiff) - England 496-5d (Trott 203, Cook 133, Bell 103*) beat Sri Lanka 400 (P Jayawardene 112, Paranavitana 66, Samaraweera 58, Dilshan 50) and 82 (Swann 4-16, Tremlett 4-40) by an innings and 14 runs. Lead 1-0 in the series with 2 matches to play.

Looking at the first innings scores, you really wouldn't have fathomed bowling a side out for just 82 in less than 25 overs (Sri Lanka's shortest completed innings in their history) would be possible. The pitch was slow and low, with only a hint of turn and variable bounce apparent towards the end of the interminable England innings. Graeme Swann and especially Chris Tremlett made use of whatever there was in a pitch that had failed to deteriorate due to the serious length of time it spent under covers to rattle a shellshocked Sri Lankan batting card. Tremlett made the initial breakthroughs with a fuller length than that which he found in the first innings, finding enough lift and seam movement to have the batsmen in all sorts of bother. After that, and the classical off-spin dismissal of Kumar Sangakkara to Swann, the tourists lost their heads. Thilan Samaraweera and Rangana Herath will be particularly ashamed of the ugly swipes that gifted England the game. All this without the injured Anderson, who really led the attack in the first innings, picking up 3 wickets with delightful swing bowling.

Not that their batting was without positives in this match. Any time you total 400, you can be happy as a unit. The risk in promoting the previously unspectacular keeper Prasanna Jayawardene to no.6, allowing the extra bowler to be played paid off handsomely with and aggressive and elegant century. Paranavitana and Dilshan also looked to be an opening partnership with resolve and patience to see of the new ball first time around, when conditions were difficult. The big guns of Sangakkara and Mahela Jayawardene must fire at some point in this series after twin double-failures in this match. And the tail, initially thought to be far too long at this level, looked as though they will be able to contribute with quick runs on occasion if needed. This collapse can probably be put down to some excellent bowling and lack of preparation in needing to fight to save the game, assuming like the rest of us that this match was destined for a draw. This lack of preparation is no excuse, but do not write them off, for they will regroup and come again.

Their bowling however is exactly as it appeared in this match - toothless and without any menace whatsoever. The seamers are not quick and the spinners do not spin it very much. I assume Dilhara Fernando, with his extra pace, and Chanaka Welegedara, with his left-arm variation, will be brought in to bolster the attack for the next test, possibly for Suranga Lakmal and Ajantha Mendis, in whom skipper Dilshan appears to have no faith. The lack of bite from the visitors made it very easy for England's best occupiers of the crease to make hay. Jonathan Trott and Alastair Cook ruthlessly and selfishly accumulated runs and drove the Sri Lankans into the dust. And then Ian Bell came in, struck a six early on and then serenely made his way to another beautiful hundred. These technical masterclasses were a stark contrast to Kevin Pietersen's skittish innings, which ended in him being given out LBW once again trying to prove that he can dominate a left-arm spinner and getting into a terrible tangle. He needs to admit he has a problem and knuckle down and deal with it.

Finally, the UDRS had a very good game, using HotSpot and Hawkeye to great effect to ensure the correct decision was always made - very useful when Billy Doctrove is standing at one end - the man never seems happy to give a decision out! Jade Dernbach has been called into the England squad to replace the injured Anderson, but it is more likely that Steve Finn will get the nod at his home ground Lord's on Friday.

Let's just hope the weather stays away this time!
RM

The Case For The Defense

Firstly, thanks to Ryan for highlighting to you all my 'informed' preseason picks while I was away supporting Scotland in Dublin - it was great to be humiliated as soon as I got home.

Actually, I don't think that I have much to be embarassed about this year.

Did I get the top 4 correct? Yes I did. Fine, the order was completely different but I was able to see the flaws in all of the three teams fighting for the title, and sure enough they were all manifest to some extent throughout the year. Certainly, nobody thought that this years Man United side would be a vintage one and their success, in my view anyway, mostly comes down to a Chelsea collapse after the Blues had started so well.

All in all, the standard of this year's Premier League was poor. None of the eventual top four below Man U can be that happy with their performances. Manchester City at least got their cherished Champions League place, but at what cost? Oh yes, that's right; £160 million.

I had predicted Liverpool, Everton and Spurs being the only teams competing for the lesser European places; the fact that this was exactly what happened in spite of terrible form by Liverpool and Everton and injury crises at Spurs reinforces the fact that the teams that finished below this group were really pretty dire.

Aston Villa emphasise this, finishing as they did comfortably safe in spite of their travails, as do Newcastle, a team that would have been fighting relegation on the final day in a stronger season. Not this year.

I do admit that I let my personal dislike of Mark Hughes get the better of my common sense; of course Fulham were going to be a top half team. I was spot on with regards Sunderland; they finished tenth, and I have no idea how. They could easily have been 4 places higher or 6 places lower.

Nobody saw Blackpool's rollercoaster ride to relegation coming, and I at least got their demise correct. My worst picks were obviously Birmingham and West Ham to be safe when both were actually relegated. Again though, nobody saw those two teams down there at the season's start. Birmingham even won the Carling Cup on their way to spending next year visiting Barnsley. Hell, Ryan wrote a relegation prediction piece a mere two weeks before the season's end and didn't feel the need to mention Alex McLeish's men in it at all (further proof that bad predictions are a specialty at BtC). It just goes to show that any team which wins most of it's games 1-0 should be immediately distrusted the next year.

Overall, the jist of my predictions wasn't too shabby. I won't claim credit for obvious picks, like Wigan and Wolves being shit (although at least a handful of national press had Wolves as a 'new Birmingham' who would finish in the top half. Well, they'll certainly be much like Birmingham again next season...). Likewise, events like the random sacking of Big Sam really just screwed up everything we thought about certain teams.

I don't think I did that well in my predictions. However, to use a legal principle, I think that there is certainly reasonable doubt present and thus I really don't deserve to go to jail for my work. I certainly don't want to be there. I've only just found out what gay men think of me...

GM

The Case for the Prosecution

With Graeme a few short months away from embarking upon a new career in Law (with a bit of History thrown in for fun), I thought it was about time he stood trial for his Premier League predictions at the start of the season. Just for a bit of fun, let's see what he called correctly and what he got spectacularly wrong. Maybe once (or if, depending on Iceland's latest contribution to the atmosphere) he returns from his piss-up in Dublin, he may conjure up a passable defense. Here goes:

1st - Manchester United (predicted 3rd) - Graeme said: "The season where tired legs finally fail?" What actually happened: Proved they had the depth to maintain consistent results and win the league. The old-timers were some of the more excellent performers (on and off the field in the case of R*** G****)

2nd - Chelsea (predicted 1st) - Graeme said: "Bringing in a new face or two should seal the deal" What actually happened: They brought in Fernando Torres and David Luiz. Torres scored once and Luiz, whilst composed on the ball, looked blunder-prone.

3rd - Manchester City (predicted 4th) - Graeme said: "Still not good enough but 4th place is easily within their reach" What actually happened: They qualified easily for the Champions League but never looked like challenging the top two for the title. Calling Roberto Mancini a "good, but not great manager" looks a fair assessment also and he is on borrowed time next year without Carlos Tevez.

4th - Arsenal (predicted 2nd) - Graeme said: "Still too naive and Plan B isn't up to scratch" What actually happened: They played naively and without a plan B towards the end of the season, having dazzled early on

5th - Tottenham (predicted 6th) - Graeme said: "They've deluded themselves somewhat with their squad depth" What actually happened: Ran deeper than expected in the Champions League, before injuries to the likes of Gareth Bale cost them dearly in their campaign to get back into the competition.

6th - Liverpool (predicted 5th) - Graeme said: "Torres, Gerrard and Reina will win them games on their own" What actually happened: Torres left, Gerrard got injured and Reina became dodgy. Only the spirit from the return of King Kenny dragged the Reds to any respectability. But they should fare better next year if they NESV invest a bit.

7th - Everton (predicted 7th!) - Graeme said: "On paper they are very talented, but injuries and other issues always stop them realising their full potential". What actually happened: Exactly what Graeme said would happen. Except for Jermaine Beckford - he's still shit on paper.

8th - Fulham (predicted 13th) - Graeme said: "Mark Hughes is massively overrated and won't be taking Fulham above 10th anytime soon" What actually happened: They finished 8th

9th - Aston Villa (predicted 8th) - Graeme said: "I can't see them slipping that badly provided a good manager is brought in" What actually happened: They slipped very badly and flirted with relegation for a time before staging a Darren Bent-inspired recovery. But then they had brought in Gerard Houllier, so I can't blame Graeme for that one!

10th - Sunderland (predicted 10th!) - Graeme said: "I'm going for them to finish Top 10 with no real evidence to explain why" What actually happened: They actually did finish in the top 10 and, true to form, I cannot for the life of me explain how they managed it, such was their atrocious form after the turn of the year

11th - West Brom (predicted 18th) - Graeme said: "They do so little of interest when they are up, that they are dismissed" What actually happened: Showed a number of teams that they are actually a force to be reckoned with (Man United, Arsenal) and showed other teams just how good Roy Hodgson was as a manager (Liverpool). In Soman Tchoyi and Peter Odemwingie, they have the goals to put an end to the yo-yo years.

12th - Newcastle (predicted 17th) - Graeme said: "Not a good team by Premiership standards" What actually happened: In spite of losing their talisman at Christmas and being managed by Alan Pardew, they actually seem a pretty respectablt team by Premiership standards. Memorable wins over Sunderland and Villa at home make this a season to savour in parts.

13th - Stoke (predicted 15th) - Graeme said: "Are solid enough. Are dull. But not dull enough to get relegated" What actually happened: Played vibrant total football that stunned the wo... no they were dull.

14th - Bolton (predicted 12th) - Graeme said: "Owen Coyle should improve their chances". What actually happened: Secured safety early and tailed off thereafter. Are much more pleasing on the eye these days, for which a lot of the credit must go to Coyle.

15th - Blackburn (predicted 11th) - Graeme said: "Big Sam is still a good bet to keep a team safely camoflagued in mid-table" What actually happened: Big Sam did just. And then the new owners fired him and brough Steve Kean in. They survived relegation on the last day.

16th - Wigan (predicted 19th) - Graeme said: "Pretty passing football does not work if you are based in the North" What actually happened: It worked. Just. That and they brought Ali Al-Habsi in on loan and he managed to clean up Gary Caldwell's mess.

17th - Wolves (predicted 16th) - Graeme said: "You know the bubble will burst sooner or later" What actually happened: The bubble was just about to pop when Jamie O'Hara and Steven Hunt rescued them at Molineux. There's always next season though...

18th - Birmingham (predicted 9th) - Graeme said: "A side no-one wants to watch but no-one wants to play" What actually happened: Yes no-one wanted to watch them. But everyone wanted a piece of Alex McLeish's men and they sank into the Championship.

19th - Blackpool (predicted 20th) - Graeme said: "Basically, they are fucked". What actually happened: Eventually they were fucked, but not before entertaining us with some brave performances and a great team spirit that was greater than the sum of its' parts. They will be missed.

20th - West Ham (predicted 14th) - Graeme said: "Last seasons shambles will hopefully be forgotten". What actually happened: It was forgotten - but only because this season was even more shambolic. But hey, I won a tenner out of their misery and gloated to some very miserable Hammer fans. Who quite frankly need to get a grip of reality.

So all in all, a pretty solid performance from Mr Milloy with just a couple of howlers. And there rests the prosecution.
RM

Together Standing Tall

OK, so in case you hadn't noticed I am going to use obscure song lyrics as titles for any article relating to the international summer of cricket just to amuse myself, if nobody else. This week's title relates to the selection of an Irishman in the only spot that was genuinely up for grabs in the England Test team. More on that in a bit. Let's first look at Sri Lanka's final warm-up game before the series starts in Cardiff on Thursday:

Tour match (Derby): Sri Lanka 266 (Randiv 76*, Dernbach 5-44) and 448 fo (Paranavitana 125, Dilshan 117, Samaraweera 74, Dernbach 4-94) beat England Lions 493-8d (Morgan 193, Patel 119, Taylor 76) and 183 (Pradeep 4-29) by 38 runs

It says a lot about the character of the touring team that they were able to get themselves up for a tour match in unfamiliar conditions after being asked to follow-on. Five players were newly arrived from the IPL, although only Suraj Randiv had any real impact with the bat first time around. They also made good use of a howling gale on the final day to complete the comeback - the seamers running in downwind and running through a strong young lineup, whilst Randiv toiled admirably into the wind at the other end - he is a good honest cricketer, unlikely to oust Mendis and Herath for the Tests. Howling wind aside however, the attack continued to look placid first up on a good batting deck, although once again the Sri Lankan openers were able to cash in as well as the home batsmen. Nuwan Pradeep looked the quickest of the bunch, although he has now had to fly home with a knee complaint, whilst fellow spearhead Dilhara Fernando is also struggling with a nagging problem. Farveez Maharoof has been drafted in from Lancashire. Big guns Kumar Sangakkara and Mahela Jayawardene failed to find any real runs on this occasion but you would never bet against them scoring heavily when the pressure is really on, particularly when you consider that no England bowler has dismantled teams as expected on the county circuit. It will be interesting to see how they go at the SWALEC Stadium - particularly as it is probably the closest to the slow and flat wickets that they will be familiar with.

From England's point of view, this game was always going to be a battle between Eoin Morgan and Ravi Bopara for the spot vacated by Paul Collingwood after the Ashes. Morgan scored big runs, Bopara did not, so on the face of it, the decision seemed a simple one. However, it cannot have been taken lightly - Bopara has scored a couple of hundreds for Essex already this summer and has succeeded with his reliable medium pace bowling, whereas Morgan has been lining his pockets in the IPL. Questions have inevitably been asked about Morgan's commitment to Test match cricket, but to my mind these are irrelevant - his temperament is unquestionably better than Bopara's at the highest level. So Morgan gets the first shot to cement his place in the side. Bopara will continue to breathe down his neck in domestic cricket, as will James Taylor and Lions' captain James Hildreth. Steven Finn is the other Lion named in the squad but he only took 3 wickets in the match and was expensive, meaning he will probably be the man to carry the drinks in favour of Chris Tremlett. Tremlett's Surrey team-mate Jade (he must hate his parents) Dernbach was the pick of the attack here and he will want to continue his form and push for recognition later in the summer. However, the starting XI pretty much picks itself for now with Tim Bresnan injured, and we know all about what those guys can do - we will wait and see how the Test pans out.

Finally a quick word on Samit Patel - I saw him bowl in a Championship match for Notts against Sussex recently, where he comfortably outbowled Graeme Swann in the spin department. His fitness problems have been well documented in the past but he now finally appears to have reached a level sufficient to be considered for this match and he didn't disappoint with a typically aggressive hundred. In light of Michael Yardy's health problems, I wouldn't be surprised to see him line up with Swann in the ODIs in June.

RM

Summer Sun, Something's Begun

It gave me a great sense of relief to see that Graeme bit the bullet and endured the torture that it writing the obligatory "thank the Lord the SPL season is over" article. It also heartened me to see that his minority sport had a £1.1 million cut to its' budget due to "lack of participation" recently. No such thing in the world of cricket, even if some of the counties don't even have the budget to afford good-quality teabags these days. So I think it is entirely justified that I bring the readers another glorious summer of leather on willow, albeit cutting out most of the county crap and focusing on the international game. We start with the Sri Lankans, who arrived from all corners of the globe, be it home, the IPL or disappointing county stints in the Westcountry (more moaning about Ajantha Mendis to come this summer, rest assured). The first warm-up game took them to a chilly Uxbridge, where they faced a Middlesex side who have enjoyed a great start to the Championship season, although shorn of many of their regulars for this encounter. There was, however, one familiar face who may just have set the tone for the tour...

Tour match (Uxbridge): Sri Lanka 309-2d (Dilshan 123, Paranavitana 103) and 216-6 beat Middlesex 360-8d (Strauss 151, Housego 104) and 161 by 4 wickets

So a winning start for our tourists. They will be slightly concerned by the form of some of their bowlers though. The stand-out was Chanaka Welegedara, who picked up 5 wickets in the match and caused the Middlesex batsmen trouble with his swing second time around. Sri Lanka will hope to utilise him as the long-term successor to Chaminda Vaas, currently enjoying a renaissance with Northants. He will be relied upon to be accurate and penetrative with the new ball, probably in partnership with the pacier Dilhara Fernando, who is still on IPL duty. Suranga Lakmal and Farveez Maharoof look nothing more than capable backups, carrying little threat should the England batsmen hit their straps. Then there is the spin duo of Mendis and Rangana Herath. Mendis was simply gash in first-class cricket for Somerset, the mystery decoded and the front foot overstepping far too often. His freakishly strong fingers do not impart enough spin to devaite enough on pitches away from the subcontinent, so you can expect Pietersen et al to go after him. Herath is a more wily character, an accurate left-armer who possesses just enough variation to keep the batsmen honest. However, much as I hate to say it, how often do you see left-arm spinners singlehandedly winning test matches?

The opening batsmen made hay against a second string Middlesex attack, but all the same you have to admire the way skipper Tillekaratne Dilshan adapted so quickly to English conditions and the first-class game so soon after leaving the IPL. True, he did attack the spin of young Tom Smith, hitting a massive six out of the ground, but this is a totally different set of circumstances and he has proven how dangerous the batting lineup, still incomplete without former captains Sangakkara and Mahela Jayawardene, could be. Tharanga Paranavitana is an interesting case. He is an archetypal opener, with good technique and concentration but as yet has not been tested outside of the subcontinent in his first 16 Tests. Will he adapt as well as his captain? All of the batting should be taken with a pinch of salt when you bear in mind that Middlesex's most dangerous bowler was Jamie Dalrymple (fans of England's one-day side circa 2007 will remember just how average he is - he makes Michael Yardy look like Daniel Vettori). However, you have to admire Dilshan's attacking captaincy in going after a modest target with just 45 overs left in the game and getting there. England's bowlers will have to be wary.

Finally, a quick comment on Andrew Strauss. The England captain hadn't batted since his side's ignominious exit at the hands of Sri Lanka in the World Cup. But all of his trademark shots were on show here, cutting pulling and sweeping the average bowling to great effect. The fact that he managed to help Dan Housego, a youngster who's only previous innings past 50 was against a university side, to a ton also showed a man who has the hunger and desire to lead a team of young charges to the No.1 ranking in Test match cricket.

Series wins against Sri Lanka, and later India this summer will go a long way towards achieving that. Next, we look at the tour match against the England Lions, where there will be a straight shootout between Eoin Morgan and the in-form Ravi Bopara for the spot in the batting vacated by Paul Collingwood.

RM

Dreading the End

There is no worse day for the majority of Scottish football fans than the final day of the SPL season. By it's two-faced nature, 50% of the Old Firm fans will feel terrible, and anyone supporting any other SPL club will be swept under the rug at best, and humiliated in front of the world at worst.


Kilmarnock and Motherwell ended this year with the dubious honour of getting to play Rangers and Celtic when both were needing to win to determine the title.

It is depressing enough playing the Old Firm at any stage in the season. 1/3rd of your stadium will be filled with scummy Glasgow travelling support and 'die hard' locals who haven't missed bragging about a Celtic win in 6 years and have given up their regular seat in the home stand. On top of that, you almost always have no chance of getting a result; the best you can hope for is patronising praise from the national media.

There are in fact many teams in Scotland that are not named Rangers or Celtic, yet none of us, the unlucky buggers stuck supporting them, ever feel that we are in the majority. We lepars down in the lower leagues get no recognition at all, but to be honest even that is preferable to having to support a team like St. Mirren or Killie, where life must seem like being endlessly kicked in the nuts.

It would help the cause, of course, if the other teams showed even a modicum of professionalism when put in the spotlight. Fine, playing the best team in the country when they need to win is a tough, tough ask. But Kilmarnock today were absolutely abject. They were a pitiful face to a pitiful league. The 'performance' put in by their midfield and centrebacks was amongst the worst I have ever seen. And I watched Blackpool versus Bolton yesterday!

Oh yeah, that reminds me of the worst part of the final day. Just imagine looking forward all day to tuning in to MOTD2 and watching the excitement of the Premiership relegation scrap, sitting down on the sofa with a cold beer and some toast (food of kings I tell you), turning on the TV and finding...Sportscene Scotland for a whole hour of Kyle Lafferty, Billy Dodds and Neil Lennon's face.

An independent Scotland must be prevented at all costs!

GM

Will We Be Kicking Ourselves With Our Kicks?

Another quick rugby post here (Who says it's a minority sport that nobody cares about? I'm going to ram it down your throat until you do!).

With the Rugby World Cup fast approaching, it's time for the squad lists to be released and the speculation to begin.

There is nothing most Northern Hemisphere fans like more than to debate which Hemisphere is better. I say most fans; us Scots don't bother as we are fully aware of how much worse we are. The Southerners, too, rarely indulge in this banter. Why? Because they watch the Super 15 every week.

Belittled all the time by Northerners for it's "awful refereeing", the Super 15 does admittedly have somewhat laxer standards at times, mainly in the contact areas of play. But it is definately innovative in it's defensive play and is light years ahead of Europe in attack.

In particular, the Antipodeans in New Zealand have blurred the line between attack and counterattack, launching foray's into the defense when ordinarily we wouldn't expect them to.

I'm bringing this up now mainly because I have a great example to show you, from the recent Stormers Vs Crusaders match.

Apologies for the quality. The Stormers had turned over the ball on their 22 and have just kicked it away downfield under pressure. The Crusaders 10 at the bottom left is about to catch this kick. Notice that the ball has essentially gone from 22 to 22 (basically, as good a kick as it gets for the defending side), and then look up at how many Crusaders there are back in support. There are 5 men back with the kick catcher (and another bloke just out of shot). Not a single Stormer player is near any of them, and they have already formed a strong attacking line before the kick has even been caught. The Crusaders proceed to move the ball down this line and score about 30 seconds after this screenshot is taken.

Let's not forget that the Crusaders are playing away from home in a hostile 50,000 capacity stadium.

The speed that this backline got back from a failed attack downfield and set up and attack again is beyond anything a Northern Hemisphere team has produced for several years. England have Ben Foden, who has this mindset but is too often left to field kicks on his own. The French can occasionally play like this in some matches, but certainly they can't rely on it.

And for us Scots, and any other unlucky crap nation that comes up against the All Blacks (or Australia), then heaven help us. With two out of three Scottish possessions ending in a kick, we would be annihilated playing the way we currently do.

GM

Northern Lights Out

It's been a pretty grim year for rugby teams north of of the Midlands. Leeds have been relegated (albeit provisionally; they await the result of the National Championship playoff finals, where only Worcester have a ground good enough for the top flight) from the Guinness Premiership, and Newcastle and Sale fared little better.

Meanwhile, in Scotland the two Magners league sides have had such miserable years that I gave up writing my monthly Scottish rugby roundup because nothing had changed and it was too depressing.

Everything is to do with money here. There simply is not enough being spent on teams in the north of Britain. This is a real shame considering the strong following the sport has in these regions, and the good talent that is produced there.

England's first choice and former Flyhalf, Toby Flood and Jonny Wilkinson, were both Newcastle players for example. They are not anymore. Indeed, they bolted pretty quickly once the Falcons were priced out by other teams.

The same is true of some notable Scottish talent. We will be losing Richie Vernon, Max Evans, Scott MacLeod and Frazer McKenzie this summer. Vernon and McKenzie are both heading to Sale, who at least seem to have rediscovered a bit of ambition.

The fact remains that Scottish clubs are only able to support wage bills equal to the lesser English teams. Who happen to all be in the North. Without the prospect of domestic success in Scotland though, our players will have move to these teams to seek any kind of glory. And there, like their English counterparts, they will discover that the only way to win is to head down to the moneyed south.

More has to be done to keep our domestic leagues competitive. Attracting investment is crucial if rugby wants to remain popular throughout the entire nation. It's just not fair on all of us up here in the rain-drenched parts of the country if we have to watch a cycle of our best homegrown players coming back and beating their former teams.

GM

Something About Lightbulbs

As in how many England cricket captains does it take to change one?

Three apparently. Not content with doing what most other nations seem to do and have one, maybe two if you're a bit dysfunctional like Pakistan, captains covering all forms of the game, England have once again blazed a new trail (or plumbed a new depth depending on your outlook) and reshuffled their cards, appointing one captain for each form of the game. Incumbant Andrew Strauss retains his Test captaincy and is replaced by Alastair Cook in the ODI form of the game, having turned his back on the 50-over format after the recent World Cup. Young Stuart Broad gets the nod at T20 level, taking over from Paul Collingwood, who has become old and rubbish. Does this really make sense?

In a word, no. For a number of reasons. First of all - the nucleus of the squad is the same across all formats and does not chop and change as radically as other countries. Kevin Pietersen, Graeme Swann, James Anderson, Ian Bell, Matt Prior, Broad and maybe even Eoin Morgan now can be expected to play a role in all three teams. Jonathan Trott will play Tests and ODIs, Ravi Bopara both limited forms. If these guys are continually playing international cricket, it becomes very erratic when you are chopping and changing leader depending on the format of the game. If you are going to have continuity within the squad, surely it is better to have continuity in leadership as well - if you dilute the authority of one person down to three, surely that authority becomes somewhat lessened.

Then there is the choice of the captains themselves. Strauss' position cannot be called into question by any means - he has been a great success along with Andy Flower at the helm in the last two years, an Ashes triumph being the high point of all that hard work. And, despite some very decent form through the World Cup, if he wants to retire from ODI cricket to prolong his Test career, that's fine with me also. Test cricket is the pinnacle of the game and it is good to see one of it's finer players currently regarding it as such. Strauss is getting on a bit now and needs to cut down on his workload if he is to keep performing, so his retirement makes a lot of sense. Having Alastair Cook as his heir apparent in the Test match arena does so too - he was obviously outstanding in the Ashes and looked like a man on top of his game at the highest level. But is he the man for the ODI side? He led the side in Tests and ODIs in Bangladesh last winter and did OK, winning all the games and scoring runs, but looking a little unimaginative in the field when the likes of Tamim Iqbal chose to attack. Does he score quickly enough in ODI cricket? On current evidence, yes, although quick runs for Essex against the likes of Notts and the Unicorns don't necessarily translate to the international arena! Mind you, he will play a similar role to the man he is replacing up at the top of the order (Strauss) and will need a pinch hitter like Craig Kieswetter up there with him to get the side off to a flier in this modern age of powerplays and short boundaries.

A batting lineup can be built around Cook. But if there is uncertainty over his place in the side (and there inevitably will be), can you justify giving him the captaincy, whereby those around him may not believe he is the best player for his role and therefore not the best man to lead. It's a concern that I hold, but only time will tell to see if the players think similarly.

Finally there is Broad. A man with a temper and yet a man entrusted with the job of leading his country in the shortest form of the game, where there is little time to think and a cool head is required, so quickly can the tide turn. He is only 24 and has no experience of captaincy. Why now? I can see the reasoning, even if I don't agree with it. At the end of the day, despite being current world champions, England still view T20 as a bit of fun, less serious and with less riding on it than the longer forms of the game. Therefore it is the perfect arena for a man to learn the art of captaincy, so he can step up to the more serious roles when he is ready for them. In short, Broad may just be the man to lead his side in all forms in the future. But then he is only two years younger than Cook, who is infinitely more experienced in a captaincy capacity and who is probably more assured of his place in the Test arena. My only conclusion can be that Broad has been given the responsibility to "calm himself down" and to allow him to mature more quickly, so that when the scrutiny under which Cook finds himself in ODIs eventually becomes too much, Broad is readymade to take over. Cook can then concentrate on the Test job once Strauss packs it in. Simple enough when you think about it, but these things really ought not to have to be thought about quite so much.

My solution? Give Broad a bit more time to grow up and give Kevin Pietersen the job for all limited overs cricket. But that's just a whole new can of worms!
RM

Haynesworth: Worst Defense. Ever.

Walking proof that complete idiots will continue to be paid millions of dollars provided they are good at sport, defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth has once again gone out of his way to emphasize the point.



The fact that he is still being paid the highest wage for a defensive player in the NFL in spite of the fact he spent last year refusing to actually play seems like the lowest point Fat Albert, as he is not-so-affectionately nicknamed, could slide to. But he has worked really hard to add to his troubles.

His latest transgression? Well, he has been arrested and charged with sexual abuse. So far, so Ben Roethlisberger. He is supposed to have fondled a waitress at a hotel (classier than sexual assault in a club toilet?).

How has he reacted? Has he released a statement saying that the allegations are completely untrue and that he would prove his innocence? This approach works well for most people.

No, he chose the slightly less popular defense that he "doesn't even like black girls". Brilliant, just brilliant. He'll be Attorney General in no time!

He continued: "She is just upset I have a white girlfriend. I couldn’t tell you the last time I dated a black girl. She was trying to get with me.”. Fantastic.

She wasn't trying to get with you Fat Boy, she was serving you dinner! Although considering the size of you, maybe giving you food does seem like a bit of a proposition. And just because you don't fancy black girls much doesn't mean you wouldn't commit a crime against them. I'm pretty sure Peter Tobin and that Ipswich prostitute killer bloke didn't like their victims much, and that Hitler wasn't particularly keen on the Jews.

As long as twats like this still get paid bucketloads of cash to play sport, a new generation of twats will be there to take their place when they get sent to jail.

GM

The Race to Survive

It's got to that stage of the year where performances stand for nothing - there are no markers to be laid down, no good impressions to be made. For those who find themselves in the lower reaches of the Premier League, the damage has already been done. Now, five sides find themselves three games away from either a great escape or a potentially financially crippling relegation to the Championship. Now, for your pleasure (unless you support one of these frankly godawful teams), here is the lowdown of the final three fixtures, and who is looking destined for the drop:

Blackburn Rovers - 7/5 West Ham (A), 14/5 Man United (H), 22/5 Wolves (A)

Ah Team Venky's. I actually considered not including Blackburn in this list after their three points last weekend against Bolton, which pretty much gave them enough breathing room to survive for this season at least. Basically, the team has been sold down the river by the owners, removing Sam Allardyce, who, despite his "aesthetically functional" tactics, did at least have enough nous and experience at this level to comfortably guide a mediocre team through the season. Steve Kean, nice bloke though he is, does not. It is not fair on him that he has the job and all the pressures that come with it and it is not fair on the team to be managed by someone who isn't really suitable for the job. Venky's supposedly have big plans for this club, somewhere along the lines of the Walker dynasty. How do they expect to realise their ambitions with such inexperience at the helm. And how do they expect anyone big in the game to take the job when Kean inevitably gets shelved in the summer after the way they dealt with Big Sam?

On the field, the problem has been goals. Roque Santa Cruz returned as a prodigal son in January, but is clearly broken by his experience at Man City, as he has yet to recapture the form that made him a fans' favourite in the first place. And as I've already said, mediocrity runs through the side. Name me their starting XI. Exactly. They do not have enough big name players to challenge for the top half of the league and not enough prestige to attract such players. However, there is enough stability in the defense, with Paul Robinson, Ryan Nelsen and Chris Samba to keep Wolves and West Ham at bay in the next few weeks, so you have to tip them to survive. They are bad - just not as bad as the teams around them.

Prediction - 42 points - SAFE

Blackpool - 7/5 Tottenham (A), 14/5 Bolton (H), 22/5 Man United (A)

Graeme looked rather foolish at the start of the season having predicted that Blackpool "basically were fucked" and would finish bottom of the Premier League. They then embarked on an astonishing early season run where their exciting brand of attacking football took the league by storm and propelled them into the upper echelons of the league. We all knew they were a team greater than the sum of their parts and knew that inevitably it must all catch up with them. DJ Campbell cannot be relied upon for goals forever. It doesn't help when your talisman doesn't want to play for you anymore either (quite why Charlie Adam saw Liverpool as a desirable alternative I will never know).

No, the main reason why Blackpool eventually will be fucked is the very ethos that Ian Holloway instilled in them at the start of the year. The "We Can Score One More Than You" attitude surprised the opposition early on, who sat back and allowed the Seasiders to create opportunities. And then they wised up. And realised that the reason they were attacking is that their defence was awful. Like truly AWFUL. So the way to beat Blackpool was to simply attack back and let them implode. Which they have now down. Simple really. I could be a Premier League manager - but then, so could Ian Holloway!

Oh and they've got a bitch of a run-in

Prediction - 36 points - 20th

Wigan - 7/5 Aston Villa (A), 14/5 West Ham (H), 22/5 Stoke (A)

How costly will the Hand of Hugo prove? Rodallega's inexplicable handball which cost Wigan all three points against Everton on Saturday made things that bit harder for his side, when it looked as though they could have moved out of the relegation zone for good. How Roberto Martinez has kept his job this season I do not know. Here is another man who has tried to play attacking football at the expense of the basics in defending and has paid the price simply because the attacking threat at his disposal is not nearly good enough to win games regularly. And yet, they do seem to be finding a bit of form. Rodallega seems to have goals in him and Charles N'Zogbia appears to have awoken from the torpor that has afflicted him pretty much throughout his uneventful and average career. They might just do it...

A word of warning - the defense contains Gary Caldwell. Cock-ups are literally seconds away, at any stage, in any game. And when he is playing well, he will inevitably lunge when an opposition striker is clean through and get himself sent off. This behaviour is typical of the defense at large. There is one simple reason why Wigan are not already down - Ali Al-Habsi. The big Omani has led the way and made cracking saves at crucial times. If he can keep the opposition at bay over the next 270 minutes, there are enough goals in this side that they might conceivably get results in each of their last three to squeeze out of danger.

Prediction - 38 points - SAFE

Wolves - 8/5 West Brom (H), 14/5 Sunderland (A), 22/5 Blackburn (H)

Wolves are just rubbish. I'm sorry, but they are. They've survived by kicking teams up in the air and hoping they land awkwardly. It hasn't worked which is why they now find themselves well and truly in the mire. They do have some decent players. Well, they have Wayne Hennessey, who more often than not has shown himself to be a goalkeeper of real potential. And amusingly yet another decent keeper who England can't have. I quite like the creativity of Nenad Milijas as well and we all know how much Matt Jarvis has blossomed in adversity. The problem they have is that there is no-one decent to get on the end of their crosses. Any team built around Sylvan Ebanks-Blake has issues. He was slow, lazy, selfish and cumbersome many years ago when I watched him for Plymouth, but his goalscoring record in the Championship (when Plymouth were quite good) was enough to tempt Wolves to pay £1 million for him. Incidentally, where did that money go for Argyle? I digress, but at Premier League level, he has proven himself to everyone to be exactly what I observed down at Home Park. Steven Fletcher is another, scoring by the bucketload in the SPL, but coming down to Burnley and Wolves and being equally as shit as Ebanks-Blake.

If you don't have quality strikers, you don't deserve to survive. If you don't look to play positively, you don't deserve to survive. No matter how much of a lad Mick McCarthy is, they're doomed.

Prediction - 37 points - 18th

West Ham - 7/5 Blackburn (H), 14/5 Wigan (A), 22/5 Sunderland (H)

3 games. 3 six pointers. And you can guarantee that not a flicker of emotion will pass over Avram Grant's face at any stage during those massive games. I can tell you that win or lose, I will be getting emotional - after the 2-1 defeat to Man City yesterday, my £10 bet placed in November that the Hammers would be departing the Premier League come May looks very close to coming to fruition. You look at some of the players though, and you see real quality. Scott Parker, Rob Green (despite his World Cup howler, he is another keeper keeping his side afloat, reference the 0-0 draw with Spurs) and Robbie Keane are all so proven at this level and in games against relatively weak opposition, should have the drive and experience to encourage their younger and more distractable teammates to pick up 9 from 9 and survive.

But it won't happen. It should have happened on so many occasions this year but they cannot seem to get themselves up for the big games. They even conspired to chuck away the Carling Cup semi-final. The problem with West Ham is that there is so much going on off the park that you can never expect the players to be 100% focused on it. Since Gold and Sullivan took over you've had the dumping of Gianfranco Zola, the Olympic Stadium Battle Royale with Spurs (and Leyton Orient), the flirtation with Martin O'Neill, Karren Brady spouting off about women not knowing the offside rule (shut up bitch and make me... etc), the list goes on.

I say that all the negative press attention gets to them and they bottle it. They're lucky it's still in their hands!

Prediction - 37 points - 19th

RM