Clearing The Backlog

I haven't done anything on the blog for a while now, so I apologise. I came down with an acute case of 'can't-be-arsed-itis' last week, either because I was out in the sunshine, or because of the mind-numbing mundanity of my current life. Or maybe something in between.

Anyway, I've missed a couple of footballing stories and I think that they deserve to be covered. Therefore, sit back and enjoy one of my trademark rambling, meandering articles with no real structure or journalistic quality (if you want that, you've definately been reading the wrong blog for the past year).

So Manchester United lost the Champions League final to Barcelona. Completely unsurprising that the Reds were outclassed; they were fielding a team weaker than the one that lost to Barca two years ago, featuring a central midfield partnership of Carrick and Giggs, the men who were rubbish in that previous final. Would anyone be surprised to hear that they were equally rubbish this time. Love may be lovelier the second time around, but ageing, ineffective midfield combo's certainly aren't. Especially against the best team in the world.

It never ceases to surprise and annoy me how easily the English media are capable of collective sollipsism. Anyone could see that A: Man U were weaker than before and Barca were stronger, and B: The Premiership this season was of a crap standard. Those two facts did not add up to an English victory at Wembley. For some reason, though, even 'informed' and experienced writers like Henry Winter and Kevin McHarra are seemingly not allowed to point this out.

Speaking of Wembley, England were unable to beat Switzerland there yesterday. Enough said really, but suffice to say that Spain, Germany or the Netherlands would have won that match. If you are not even in the top three footballing nations on your own continent, you have fuck all chance of winning a World Cup boys. The biggest shame of yesterday was actually that, had results fallen for them, Montenegro would have topped England's qualifying group. The country has only existed for 4 and a half years for fucks sake! Bulgaria, pull your finger out!

Finally, ending things up in Switzerland (this happens a lot. Nazi gold, ill old people...), Sepp Blatter can be happy with his victory in the FIFA presidency election. Against himself. But hey, he was clearly ahead of Josef Fritzl, Fred West and the President of Yemen in the popularity polls, so I guess he would have won with opposition anyway. The most concerning thing that has happened at FIFA has not been the corruption scandal, or the corrupt election. No, it is the news that former US Secretary of State and Human SuperDeath Calculator Henry Kissinger has volunteered to personally sort out the FIFA mess. It seems that football truly has gone MAD...

GM