Thursday 12 August 2010

Here Comes Football: A Brief Premiership Preview

This is a short look at how this season's English Top Flight will pan out. I've split the league into groupings to reflect what each group will be likely to achieve.

Group 1: The Title Contenders

1st. Chelsea: Have the right title-winning experience, and are still a season away from being an old team. Bringing in a new face or two alongside Ramires (work permit permitting) would seal the deal.

2nd. Arsenal: A Man U slump will let Arsenal be more involved in the race. Still too naive, and plan B still isn't up to scratch. Plan A, fortunately, is bloody effective.

3rd. Manchester United: The season when the tired old legs finally fail? Everyone seems to have forgotten how injury prone and lacking in depth they were last season.

Goup 2: Stuck in a Final Champions League Spot Battle

4th. Manchester City: Have a good manager, and shitloads of cash. Do not have a great manager, or great purchases from their shitloads of cash. Still not good enough, but 4th place is easily in reach.

5th. Liverpool: Hodgson should remind them that the talent is still there in parts. Torres, Gerrard and particularly Reina will win some games on their own. The defense, once Benitez's greatest asset, will cost them games. And if Mascherano leaves, there really will be precious few other top quality players in the squad.

6th. Tottenham Hotspur: Need to avoid injury and regression towards the Europa League. They've deluded themselves somewhat with regards their squad depth. It doesn't count for much if the players are constantly on the treatment table.

Group 3: Looking up at 4th Place in Hope, but Happy with the Europa League

7th. Everton: They had their chance at the Champions League a few years back. They won't get another shot for a while yet. On paper they are very talented, but injuries and other issues always seem to stop them reaching full potential.

8th. Aston Villa: This actually seems optimistic after O'Neill's departure. They still have a side clearly superior to the Group 4 sides below, Milner or not, and I can't see them slipping that badly provided a good manager is brought in.

9th. Birmingham: McLeish has built a side that no-one really wants to watch, but importantly, no-one wants to play. If Foster replaces Hart adequately, I think they will do a bit better than last season's effort.

10th. Sunderland: Belong in Group 4, but one of those teams will inevitably have a good season and end up finishing 10th or higher. This year, with no real evidence, I'm going with the Wearsiders.


Group 4: The dull lower-mid table lot that are always last on Match of the Day

11th. Blackburn: Could replace Sunderland in Group 3 provided they buy a couple of depth players. Big Sam is massively over-rated, but is still a good bet to keep a team safely camouflaged in mid-table.

12th. Bolton: Owen Coyle should, after a full summer with the team, improve their chances. They lack creative players beyond Lee Chung-Yong, but do have Jaaskelainen and a now recovered Gary Cahill. Which is better than a lot of clubs possess.

13th. Fulham: They finished 12th with Sir Roy last season, and haven't got any better through signings. Mainly though, I don't rate Mark Hughes. I've never liked him and feel he was massively overrated in previous jobs. He won't be taking them higher than 10th any time soon.

14th. West Ham: Last seasons shambles will hopefully be forgotten. Avram Grant is a perplexingly decent manager and the squad, while as deep as a puddle, contains Green, Cole, Parker and over 80% of the country's Young English Talent TM. Signings have been decent too.

15th. Stoke: Have Shawcross. Are solid enough. Are dull. But not dull enough to get relegated.


Group 5 Relegation Fodder

16th. Wolves: When your success has been delivered by Mick McCarthy, you know the bubble will burst sooner rather than later. The squad is the same one as the decent lot from last season, plus Stevie Fletcher, but I don't think they'll be reaching the heady heights of 15th this year.

17th. Newcastle: Not a good team by Premiership standards. Hughton, while I don't mind the man, has no real experience and basically fluked on winning the Championship. The defense has been shored up only by Sol Campbell's remains, and goals must come from Andy Carroll and Peter Lovenkrands. There is no-one else. Not a recipe for success.

18th. West Brom: They've been promoted again. I don't care. Nobody cares. They go up and down so many times, and do so little of interest when they are up, that they are dismissed every year. Which is what I'm doing, although to be honest I think they're probably a better team than Newcastle and could stay up.

19th. Wigan: Pretty passing football does not work if you are based in the North, especially when your flair players are Jordi Gomez, Hugo Rodallega and Jason Scotland. The squad has only 18 outfield players, and most of them are crap. They lost their best defensive talent, Titus Bramble. Titus Bramble.

Group 6: Blackpool

20th. Blackpool: Basically, they are fucked.


GM

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