World Cup Previews: Group A

I'm getting round to actually doing these previews. However, I have realised that there is a not inconsiderable amount of work I also need to do in order to pass my medical exams at the end of May.

Hence, I have decided to preview the World Cup in a group by group manner. South Africa get a preview to themselves, which you can find somewhere in the archives of the blog. Hopefully, this style will be easier to keep track of, and will allow me slightly more time to do a slightly less bad job of studying. In fact, I may use these previews as a study aid...

Group A (minus the Saffers)


Mexico

Coach: Javier Aguirre. Experienced international manager, having previously led Mexico in 2002-2003. Last with Athletico Madrid, where he lasted 3 seasons, a truly phenomenal/ lucky achievement. On the whole, successful, a good man-motivator and astute, but has problems matching up against better teams or equally experienced managers.

Team: Mexico the 2009 Gold Cup, so at least have gelled to some degree, not that the Gold Cup is a particularly high pinnacle to scale. They have recovered to around the level the 2006 World Cup team exhibited prior to that tournament. Mexico played effective football in Germany 06, and pushed Argentina for 110 plus minutes in the knockout stages. At the end of the day though, they lost and Ricardo Lavolpe, the best coach they've had for many years, resigned, taking his space-age ties back to the Argentinian league.

Mexico's team has changed quite markedly since 2006. Gone are Guille Franco and Jared Borgetti up front and players like Jesus Arellano in the midfield. In their place come a new wave of talent, notably Andres Guardado, Patricio Aruajo and Carlos Vela. Older hands Marquez, Salcido and Osorio come in to provide some spine to the defence, and Pavel Pardo acts as a useful Mexican version of Scott Parker.

Ochoa in goals has excellent shot-stopping ability. His footwork is, however, non-existant. Ranked by Mexicans and FIFA 1o as one of the worlds best, if he was truly up there he would have left Mexico some time ago. Highlight reel goalkeeping may appeal in Central America, but it is undoubtedly a liability at international level.

Aguirre has desisted with playing antiquated 5 at the back formations, which served only to swamp the midfield. Mexico are talented with the ball at feet, yet relatively paceless and lacking in physical strength up front and at set pieces. Aerial duels will pose a problem as the tallest man on the team is 6 foot. In boots.

Prediction: Mexico are undoutedly more talented than either Uruguay or South Africa. To be honest, they are probably the equal of France and many of the European elite on their day, but their continued tactical faillings usually get the better of them. Things won't change. One of the safest predictions to make in any World Cup is for Mexico to come 2nd in their group and lose in thefirst knockout round. They just do not possess the necessary variation in execution and gameplan to progress any deeper. Expect some colourful, wrestling-based goal celebrations though.

If they were a medical condition: Swine flu. It originated in Mexico, spread to the rest of the world, but only really had an effect on the small and weak. Anyone possessing a bit of a backbone merely suffers from a little inconvenience.

Uruguay





Coach: Oscar Tabarez. Very experienced South American club tactician, having started out managing in the early 80's. Last club was Boca Juniors in 2002, and has been Uruguay coach since 2006. Coached Uruguay previously to a glorious 3 points in the 1990 World Cup.

Team: Can I just say that the Uruguayans have not a hope in hell of winning, and precious little chance of even getting out of thier group and leave it at that? No, you want to know about their team? Alright, if I must.

What really grates me about the Uruguayans is that they possess some genuinely talented attackers; Luis Suarez, star of the Dutch Eredivisie, Edinson Cavani of Palermo and of course Diego Forlan. They have these players, as well as competent defensive-minded ones like Walter Gargano at holding midfield and the Diego's Godin and Lugano at CB, and should thus have the makings of a strong, solid and dangerous team.

And yet they are content to amble their way through games, hacking blindly at the shins and knees of opponents, crumpling in heaps screaming for free kicks, and pursuing refs across the Rio de la Plata in a vain attempt to get the opposition carded. They play as if they have Paolo Montero waiting in the changing room to beat their heads into a wall unless they live up to his reputation.

It might seem stereotypical to brand the Uruguayans as dirty and violent, but it is true that they are one of the nations that gave us the Battle of Montevideo. The other being Italy, whose team included several gentleman born in Uruguay. It is also true that I have watched Uruguay in two of their World Cup Qualifiers because it happened to be on in the pub, and on both occasions they drove me to leave said pub, go home and pour burning petrol into my eyes in an attempt to forget what I saw. They truely are one of the most dull, thuggish and unfulfilling teams in existance today.

Predictions: Judging by what I've just written, I'm guessing knockout stages while playing fast-paced attacking football, with Suarez and Forlan bagging 5 each. Out at the group stages.

If they were a medical condition: Bowel cancer. Painful, unpleasant, debilitating and energy-sapping. Fear not, the group stages will soon remove the piece responsible.

France






Coach: Raymond Domenech. Mental. Just mental, and in the most part a liability. France should be ashamed that he is still in a job, even if he did get them to the 2006 World Cup final (or was it the stars, the tarot cards or the face of Jesus appearing on Thierry Henry's forehead that guided them). How did Euro 2008 go for them?

Team: The French really do have talent in depth. Only Brazil and possibly England and Germany can provide 2+ quality players at almost each position.

Hugo Lloris has been highly impressive this season, and could lay a claim to being the best goalkeeper in the world right now. He should be signed by someone bigger than Lyon this summer (how many hints do I need to give you Milan?). Agile and with good feet, he is undoubtedly an asset to Les Bleus.

Defensively, they are spoiled for options, particularly at left back with Abidal, Clichy, Evra, Tremoulinas and Cissokho. Right back could be Anthony Revelierre or Bacary Sagna. First choice centre halfs are usually Gallas and Mexes, who are fast but somewhat suspect. Mexes in particular isn't the strongest or most consistent option; I wouldn't be surprised to see the in form Bordeaux man Michael Ciani start, even though he has but one cap to date.

Midfield solidity is provided by a myraid of options, the best of which in my mind being Jeremy Toulalan and either Lass or Alou Diarra. Knowing Domenech, he'll probably play the past it Patrick Viera and recall Emmanual Petit. Or Jean Tigana. Other CM's in the squad are most likely to be Flamini and Diaby.

France will play two wide men, almost certainly Malouda and Ribery. The former has been on cracking form of late, the latter at least has proven his exceptional talent in the past. I'm not sold on him this season though, and if France play everything through him, and become increasingly reliant on him as they have before, I feel they will struggle.

Yoann Gourcuff is another in super form, and this World Cup could very well be the stage on which he wows the world. He should sit in the hole behind whoever Domenech goes for up top. Anelka would normally have the strongest shout, yet he has seen a lot of the Chelsea bench recently and Domenech is still distrustful of him. Thierry Henry has been, in my opinion, riding his Arsenal reputation at international level for some time. Name one recent match for France that he has stood out in? Other options are either out of sorts (Benzema, the man I would start for the simple fact that he can score out of nothing), or unproven (Gignac, Gomis, Briand, Ben Arfa- the French equivalents of Jermaine Defoe, Darren Bent et all. Effective domestically, but will never be the same internationally. You watch them and you just know. Or at least, I do).

Prediction: The group isn't exactly deadly, and so France should progress. Beyond that though, it becomes a balancing act between the fact that they failed miserably at Euro 2008 and the fact that they exceeded expectations in 2006. I would side them to reach the quarter finals and to be put out there, hopefully due to some catastrophic Domenech tactical blunder/ failure of Aquarius to intersplice with Taurus. Expect sulking.

If they were a medical condition: Tuberculosis, causing adrenal insufficiency. TB was always a popular disease for weakening French artists. In this case, read 'tuberculosis' as 'Domenech R.'. As for the adrenal insufficiency it is causing, symptoms include nausea, fatigue and weakness. These appear gradually and without warning. When will the Domenech effect manifest itself?
GM

The County Scene - Week 3: Featherbeds make a man of Finn

We at Beyond the Cliche have struggled for continuity during our brief existence - Graeme's ever-changing predictions being a case in point! All that we have established so far is that I worry about Donovan McNabb and ex-Livingston players too much and Graeme thinks about things other than the World Cup! But this will change, and The County Scene is where we begin. After much thought about how to make this blog accessible to the average sports fan (i.e. someone who couldn't give a toss about county cricket), I have decided to hand out a "Lad of the week Award". From this I can report the matches while detailing the exploits of the 3 nominees at the same time. You'll get the idea - seeing as I can now watch highlights online, it should be more informed than I previously anticipated! In order to keep up with the IPL, I have sought out sponsorship for this section, something that captures quintessential English cricket. So, without further ado, here are my first nominations for the Victoria Sponge Lad of the Week Award:

Robin Martin-Jenkins (Sussex) - Sussex defeated Glamorgan by 201 runs at Cardiff and RMJ (as he will now be called) was a key reason for this victory, performing key duties with bat and ball. Not the most technically gifted batsman, he played a patient hand in the first innings, lifting his side from 153-6 to 284 all out, making the top score of 65, as James Harris ran riot through the top order with some high class swing bowling. MJ then collected 3-34, including the key wicket of Mike Powell, as Glamorgan failed to collect any bonus points with 191. A free-swinging 33* was followed up with key strikes late on the 3rd day to leave the opposition 51/3, needing 405 to win. They failed to make their target by some distance, despite a 6th wicket partnership of 113 between Ben Wright and Jim Allenby.

RMJ is lesser known than his father Christopher, a much loved commentator for Test Match Special but has still been a consistent performer for Sussex for 15 years, if not quite reaching his early promise as an international all-rounder. He averages around 30 with bat and ball, which does the job. Often underrated, it is hoped that this nomination helps him step out of his father's shadow.

Chris Rogers (Derbyshire) - Literally as I write this, Rogers' Derbyshire have just finished off Surrey to win by 208 runs at The Oval. He is their captain and overseas player. It takes a shrewd skipper to force victory on a lifeless Oval pitch (still rectangular but its at the Oval, just to clarify), juggling what is in truth a pretty average bowling attack, spearheaded by South African spinner Robin Peterson. But it is for his batting that Rogers is nominated. He hit the first 100 of the summer and made it big, reaching 200 before swiping across the line to Gareth Batty, plumb lbw. His driving down the ground and through the covers was especially eye-catching, as was the way he accelerated his innings as he progressed. Greg Smith chipped in with 66 as Derbyshire made 451. Surrey replied with a passable 352, aided by the evergreen Mark Ramprakash and century no. 109 for his career. Rogers then made 140* out of 274/6 declared, again punishing pretty impotent Surrey bowling. Surrey were blown away and folded for 165, as Peterson claimed 3-32 on his debut.

Rogers is an Australian of great experience - this 200 was his 3rd in 4 championship matches and his 42nd first-class century in all. He played 1 test for Australia back in 2008, replacing an injured Matthew Hayden, although accomplished nothing much, save for a blinding catch to dismiss Anil Kumble - he follows in the great tradition of players like Darren Pattinson and Wriddhiman Saha to play one test, lose and never get picked again. Shame on the Australian selectors - look at him now with his Victoria Sponge Lad of the Week Award nomination!

Steven Finn (Middlesex) - Having spent a winter toiling for little reward in Bangladesh, where a bowling average of 44 reflects more on Alistair Cook's conservative field placings and Finn's luck rather than his quality, the boy has become a man. However, astounding match figures of 14-106 were not enough as Middlesex were defeated by 111 runs by Worcestershire at New Road. A first-innings 85 from Daryl Mitchell proved crucial, as Dawid Malan was the only other player to pass 50 in the match, and that was in a lost cause. Finn moved the ball both ways to claim 5-69 first time around, but his team-mates folded for just 126 in reply. Finn then produced the spell of his life, pitching the ball up on his way to 9-37. The only batsman he didn't get, Phil Jaques, was dropped by Andrew Strauss off Finn's bowling - Kiwi Iain O'Brien then spoiled the party, Strauss making no mistake this time. Middlesex fell short of their target of 281. Richard Jones and Alan Richardson also had great games, with match figures of 8-105 and 7-76 respectively.

I first saw Finn at Taunton three years ago, where he was an erratic but effective quick bowler. His 6ft 8 frame allowed him to hit the deck hard and cause a quality Somerset batting line-up real problems. He has since added accuracy and patience to his game and has a big future in the England setup after a reasonable start in the winter.

The winner - Chris Rogers. For outstanding leadership on a flat wicket and cashing in on said pitch with the bat against opposition who will still be there or thereabouts come the end of the season. LAD

In other news, Yorkshire claimed victory over Warwickshire by 4 wickets in a close-fought encounter at Edgbaston. Both Ian Bell and Jonathan Trott made runs for the Bears but Oliver Hannon-Dalby became the first Yorkshireman with a double-barrelled name to claim a 5fer for the county (apparently!) with 5-68 in the 2nd innings, leaving his side a simple chase, where keeper Jon Bairstow excelled with 81. Matthew Hoggard's tenure as Leicestershire captain got off to a winning start, as they eased to a 6 wicket victory over Northants, mainly thanks to Claude Henderson's 6 wicket haul in the 1st innings. Hampshire collapsed dramatically late on in a 62 run defeat to new boys Essex in the final over of the match. That man Ryan ten Doeschate was the main wrecker with 5-13, when a draw looked certain at 170/4. This effort eclipsed the patient innings of Jimmy Adams (not the West Indian one), who made 169 in a first innings-marathon.

The 3 uni games featured two sides, Nottinghamshire and Kent, racking up 500 plus in the first innings against mediocre bowling attacks before playing out a draw. My Somerset boys did things a bit differently though! A shocking batting performance led to 246 in the 1st innings, while Cardiff Uni reached 113/1 at close on Day 1. Then the real Sabres turned up, bowling them out for 160 before racking up the runs to secure a 385 run hammering.

So 6 matches, 6 results. Who said this shit was boring?
RM

A Denouncement of Horse Racing

Congrats to Tony McCoy for winning his first National on joint favourite Don't Push It. It's nice to know that his victory will have cost the bookies some money for once. Other than that, I really couldn't care less who won. At the end of the day, it certainly won't be me, you or the man in the pub who knows Mon Mome's trainer's wife's best friend's mother who 'knows the horse is on form'.

Horse racing is a 'sport' which has always existed as a way for bookmakers to make money. Obviously, my views are not universal, but I fail to see anything enjoyable about watching horse racing, unless you have money on a horse. And even then, you are pretty damn likely to come home less well off than when you arrived.

The entire culture of training racehorses, of selling studs, of being 'at the races' is frankly ridiculous and unjustifiable to anyone not named William Hill or Paddy Power (God, I hope the man who started Paddy Power was called just that!). It represents a culture detatched from modern life, in the same way that amateurism in football, or not allowing women to exercise, or fighting bears in the streets outside the Globe theatre are alien to modern Britain.

A stupid amount of money changes hands over horses. It falls into two catagories; firstly, money going from one rich man in the Emirates to another in Ireland, in secretive deals done completely outside of sensible limits. Secondly, money from a large number of normal individuals ending up in the hands of a few already rich companies and shareholders.

Probably the most important point though, even though I am no animal rights nut, is the very idea of breeding and training racehorses in the first place. I recently watched a BBC documentary debating the cruelty of having performing animals in circuses. Is training a tiger to balance on a giant ball, something most people would consider abusive and wrong, any worse than deliberately breeding horses to be as fast and slight as possible, so that one small fall causes them to break their legs, at which point they are shot by a man with a bolt gun?

Oh, but the horses "love the thrill of the race" says the shady, generally Irish, trainer (no racism implied there, but it is true that Ireland's image as a premier racehorse training nation doesn't exactly help it step away from its backward and quite frankly irrelevant image. Now, THAT was racist). The horses "have a good life. They provide entertainment" says the man wearing a ridiculous top hat and making archaic hand signals.

Damaging to society, inherently cruel, irrelevant and ultimately pathetic.

There really is nothing Grand about the races. Deepest apologies for ending on a horrible pun, I'm writing this in a hurry.

GM

County Lash!

There will be one hell of a party in Dingwall tonight. Celtic's miserable season is over - surely these were not the childhood memories which Robbie Keane apparently held so fondly! Ross County strike a blow for us lower league tragics and thoroughly deserved victory against a lacklustre Parkhead outfit - men against Bhoys if you will.

I have a completely vested interest in this game in the shape of 5 ex-Livi players on County's books, including manager Derek Adams. Richard Brittain, the Staggies' captain, won the CIS cup with us 6 years ago and so knows how to win at Hampden but the other 3 guys never showed what they were truly capable of at Almondvale. Stevie Craig scored the first with a marvellous bit of individual skill and Martin Scott tapped in late on having provided a great link between defence and attack, a quality not often seen in lower league midfielders, who only really have one strong suit. Then there is brave Gary Miller, who produced a heroic block from Georgios Samaras having spent a good few years being derided for inept performances in the black and amber of the Lions. But it was not just these guys - Andrew Barrowman, Scott Boyd and Michael Gardyne all played above levels which I had seen previously. Boyd in particular kept Keane, Samaras and Marc-Antoine Fortune so quiet that they barely registered for 90 minutes!

Livi finished above County in Division 1 last year before our financial meltdown - they are not the best side in that league by a long shot. However, this result gives hope to all of those who see mediocrity week in, week out that the players at this level are truly capable of one magical performance and we should be a bit more grateful for the effort that they go to, so that these days can be made possible.
RM

Heineken Cup Quarter-finals

This weekend sees the start of true knockout European Rugby. With the group stages over, we are left with a strong French mood to the competition. For once, at least considering the past few years, the Top 14 has raised it's game and performed with consistency through the group stages, and is rewarded with at least one French team guaranteed in the semi's.

My predictions usually end up being complete hash. However, it would be cowardly not to give some anyway. Carpe Diem and all that.

Leinster Vs Clermont Auvergne

Two teams who both looked solid bets for the final now face a tough test to progress. Certainly, Clermont have looked good throughout the Heineken Cup and in the Top 14. Bolstered by the Grand-slam winning contingent of Julien Bonnaire, Thomas Domingo and field general Morgan Parra, and featuring the powerful running of Rougerie (hopefully his head has cleared since that first Six Nations match in Edinburgh!), the incisive lines of Floch at 15 and the swan-like grace of Julien Malzieu in the back 3, they are dangerous on the attack and, in general, cerebral in their execution; outhalf Brock James' greatest assest is his head. The pack has a combination of brutish power provided by Canadian 2nd Row Cudmore and a front row featuring an Argentinian and a Georgian, and also quickness coming from Elvis Vermuelen and Bonnaire in the Back Row.

Leinster are actually very comparable to Clermont. Substitute Kearney, Horgan and Nacewa as the Back 3 and you have good counterattacking pace. Their pack though, is the equal of Clermont in brute force (Cullen, Hines and Van der Linde), and possesses genuine pace in Heaslip and McLaughlin and Jennings. Jonny Sexton, on current form, is also a significant plus for Leinster.

Result: All this adds up to a close Leinster win by around 3 in my book.

Biarritz Vs Ospreys

Ah boys, how you flatter to decieve! Ospreys have spent the past three seasons scraping through the Heineken group stages as best runners up. Each time, they have then proceeded to turn in ugly, ugly losses at the Quarterfinal stage.

This year, the Welsh super-region are languishing in 5th position in the Magners. It seems to me that they have been overtaken by more youthful outfits. Ospreys are an older team, but in the main their problem is that they play old. You watch them, a team containing Bowe, Byrne, Hook and Williams, and they just seem to play OLD. Their style seems worn; slow and forced, lacking in spontaneity. I wish I could be more scientific and actually quantify what I'm trying to illustrate, but for just now you're going to have to take my word for it; I watch a lot of rugby, and this is what stands out to me.

The above notwithstanding, Ospreys are talent-rich, solid and well drilled. They will not be destroyed or embarassed as if they were Viadana. However, if they go behind by a few, I genuinely fail to see them coming back and triumphing.

Biarritz have been a mess domestically, plunging down the table before a recent little run has stopped the rot. Too late for a serious challenge for the French title, but enough to restore confidence in the team that was so convincing in the group stages. I think they will play better rugby, will be more effective, and will utilise their own talent (Harinordoquay, Yachvilli, Traille and Ngwenya) better.

Result: Biarritz to go ahead early and to never relinquish their lead. French win by at least 5.

Munster Vs Northampton

There is recent history to this one, with both sides winning at home against each other in the group stages. Pretty evenly matched those two games were as well, being decided by 2 and 3 points.

Northampton have been having a strong season. Usefully for them, Martin Johnson thinks that winners are not inherently superior to Tigers, and so Ashton, Foden, Lawes and Geraghty have had plenty of rest either at home or on the Engalnd bench (N.B. it looks like Stephen Myler, not Geraghty, will start at 10). Munster's internationals, O'Gara apart, have had significantly more work to do of late. Will this affect them? Probably a little.

What certainly will be an influence is presistent injuries to Flannery, O'Callaghan, Leamy and Mafi. Start they may, but last the full 80?

Earls is probably the most dangerous strike runner in Britain, and Saints' backs have much attacking flair. I think this game will have moments of dynamism and creativity, but I also believe that the packs, and by extension the goalkicking, will be the deciding factor in this. Munster are stronger in both of these departments.

Result: The English press have been hyping Saints up to win this, but at the end of the day I feel Munster's experience and overall talent will show. A couple of tries for Northampton, but the Irish to outscore them and come away winners. Munster by at least 7.


Toulouse Vs Stade Francais

This may be tough for me, as I don't watch that much Top 14 (proportionally, of course; I probably watch more Top 14 than at least 99.3% of the population)

Both teams haven't exactly had the best time of it domestically. The South Coasters at least can look forward to the playoffs. All Stade have to look forward to is the arrival of new coach Michael Cheika from Leinster. Oh, and the introduction of a salary cap next year. That'll sit well with them.

Toulouse feature a staggeringly high level of talent considering that I am used to watching Phil Godman and Craig Hamilton week in, week out. Louis Picamoles and Grand-Slam captain Dusautoir, Yannick Nyanga and Shaun Sowerby are all dynamic and skillful members of the Back Row group. And they also have your generic massive South Sea Islander in Finau Maka. Other internationalists amongst the forwards; Albacete, Millo-Chluski, Servat and Census Johnson.

The backs? Oh, the backs. Kelleher and Elissalde at 9, Michalak and Skrela at 10, Fritz, Jann David and Jauzion in the centre, and Clerc, Heymans, Medard and Poitrenaud running off them.

Stade bring their usual glamour heavy XV to the table. Glam even exists in the forwards with Brand Haskell and Swarzeswski (who is around 5000% too attractive to be a French forward- still has working ears for one thing). The Bergamasco's will link up with one-or-two time France 10 Lionel Beauxis, who leads a back line featuring Julian Arias, Matheu Bastareaud (Him versus Jauzion. As Madden would exclaim: BOOM) and Scottish siege gunner Hugo Southwell at FB. Sadly missing are Parisse (injury), Dupuy and Attoub (bad boys).

Stade have been woefully inconsistent at home, but strong in Europe. And they did manage to beat Clermont last weekend using a thoroughly unglamerous tactical kicking game.

Result: Can Stade execute a tactical gameplan two weeks in a row? Because if they can, I believe that they can beat Toulouse if the southerners are not completely up for it. Will Stade be able to do so? I genuinely don't know. So I'm going to have to go for a push here.

GM

The Tiger who came to tee - how to react?

The Masters have begun at Augusta National, a course with greens so lush that it actually makes HD television worthwhile for four days a year. This signals the start of Tigerwatch, a show that BBC 2 should get commissioned, if only to see a rampaging Bengal ripping the face off Bill Oddie. Yes folks, you read it here after wading through a plethora of media opinion on the subject beforehand, Tiger Woods is back!

Now, I'm not an evergreen golf fan, I only ever tune in for the majors and the Ryder Cup but I know enough about the game and this saga has gone beyond the sporting world. Many people are unsure of how to greet Tiger when he walks out to the 1st tee at half 6 this evening. If he is met with huge cheers, does this fuel the Woods ego, justifying what he has done or at least making his behaviour seem acceptable to those who once adored him? If those who do disapprove voice their opinion (such as the chairman of Augusta National), does this spur Woods on to win the Masters, thus showing himself to be above such criticism? Either way he is in a bit of a tough place right now and there will always be those who will take issue with whatever he does this weekend.

I can see only one solution - absolute silence around Tiger at all times, which is probably something the officials at Augusta would like introduced on a wide scale, such is its austerity. In this situation, it is up to Woods, his mental fortitude and his unnatural golfing ability alone to prove the doubters wrong about his character and his ability to perform after months in sexual rehabilitation. To my mind, an American will win this championship - but it will be an American who has been faithful to his family. Martin Kaymer will lead the European charge. But this Masters matters for one reason only - it will be interesting to see if Woods is re-embraced by the golfing world

RM

PS I hope the title of this thread brings back happy childhood memories, in spite of the awful pun. For those of you who don't get it, you have had a unfulfilled childhood and should bring up this issue with your parents. R