I should state from the outset that I want West Ham to go down. Not because I dislike them as a team, they're pretty inoffensive (quite literally seeing as they've chucked Jonathan Spector into an attacking midfield role) and do have some talented guys at their disposal. It's more the fact that should they stay up, I will have to hand over £10 of my hard-earned student loan (fill in form, send yourself into a spiralling debt-laden path to doom) to one of my Hammer-supporting friends, as well as having to wear a West Ham scarf on a night out. Such humiliation is too much to bear, although hopefully most people will have seen Green Street and therefore fear me as some kind of Cockney nutjob. Clearly, my bet has been made based on some kind of evidence - not only do I now want them to go down, I expect them to.
On the face of it, they really shouldn't - you look at the likes of Wolves, Wigan, West Brom and Blackpool and you see 4 teams with infinitely less talent in their ranks and a lack of experienced leadership, such as that you would expect from the likes of Matthew Upson and Scott Parker. And yet, there they are, propping up all the other teams in a Premier League, having kicked themselves in the teeth once again yesterday at Everton. Having re-taken the league on 84 minutes, Freddie Picquionne received a second yellow for over-celebrating his goal. A pretty petty reason to take an early bath, granted, but professional footballers know the drill where this is concerned and cannot be absolved on the basis of ignorance. Marouane Fellaini equalised in injury time, when the win would have lifted the Hammers out of the relegation zone. It is yet another example where a dysfunctional infrastructure and attitude within the club has hurt their chances of survival. With one major example from last week (yeh, sorry about the delay - I had exams!)
I'm talking of course about the outrageous flirting with Martin O'Neill, making the courtship on Take Me Out look like Sense and Sensibility. The BBC reported it like this "Martin O'Neill will take over from Avram Grant after the Arsenal game after week-long negotiations". Forgive us all for thinking that a deal was done, but later in the week, Gold, Sullivan and Lord Sugar's bitch gave Avram Grant their "full support" after continually handing him ultimatums over the Christmas period, which the Gravedigger actually managed to fulfill to keep himself in the pressure cooker. Which says to me that O'Neill saw something that he didn't like. And who can blame him?
Let's be honest - Martin O'Neill is far too big for West Ham. And he knows it. He has always been a man to go his own sweet way. Like at Celtic, when he spent 45 minutes at Almondvale (the glory days of the SPL...) watching Hibernian vs Rangers, rather than greeting the hoards of fans who had waited patiently in the rain for him. I nabbed an autograph, but many others were disappointed as he made a beeline for the team bus at half time so he could catch the second half on the M8 home. Then on the eve of this season, he walked out on Aston Villa when he didn't get the control of transfers that he wanted from Randy Lerner. In hindsight, looking at how they have struggled under Gerard Houllier, he made a correct decision, spotting a side unable to match up to his own lofty ambitions. How on earth could West Ham fulfill his needs? O'Neill is a very very good manager. But he's not a miracle worker. And he's certainly not a Championship manager. Moreover, the tight financial times at Upton Park will not fund a revival. You want control over your transfers Martin? Forget it.
So instead, Avram gets a stay of execution. Keep the Hammers up, the fans treat you as a hero and the owners ship you out for a flashier name by way of thanks. Sound familiar for the man who took with a post's width of that much sought-after Champions League trophy? Go down, and your the undeserved lack of esteem in which the country already holds you, plummets further. And it's really not his fault. No money means he's stuck with what he's got and even his best efforts cannot inspire this group of players. And because he makes Harry Redknapp look like an Oil of Olay anti-wrinkle cream model, there is a perception that he is uncharismatic and uninspiring. He married a woman who drank piss live on Israeli TV for Christ's sake! It takes some doing to tie a woman like that down! There's something in there in terms of managerial talent I'm sure. I just don't think anyone really will take any notice if it materialises in the next few months.
But like I say, I don't care. I just want to hold onto my money!
RM
On the face of it, they really shouldn't - you look at the likes of Wolves, Wigan, West Brom and Blackpool and you see 4 teams with infinitely less talent in their ranks and a lack of experienced leadership, such as that you would expect from the likes of Matthew Upson and Scott Parker. And yet, there they are, propping up all the other teams in a Premier League, having kicked themselves in the teeth once again yesterday at Everton. Having re-taken the league on 84 minutes, Freddie Picquionne received a second yellow for over-celebrating his goal. A pretty petty reason to take an early bath, granted, but professional footballers know the drill where this is concerned and cannot be absolved on the basis of ignorance. Marouane Fellaini equalised in injury time, when the win would have lifted the Hammers out of the relegation zone. It is yet another example where a dysfunctional infrastructure and attitude within the club has hurt their chances of survival. With one major example from last week (yeh, sorry about the delay - I had exams!)
I'm talking of course about the outrageous flirting with Martin O'Neill, making the courtship on Take Me Out look like Sense and Sensibility. The BBC reported it like this "Martin O'Neill will take over from Avram Grant after the Arsenal game after week-long negotiations". Forgive us all for thinking that a deal was done, but later in the week, Gold, Sullivan and Lord Sugar's bitch gave Avram Grant their "full support" after continually handing him ultimatums over the Christmas period, which the Gravedigger actually managed to fulfill to keep himself in the pressure cooker. Which says to me that O'Neill saw something that he didn't like. And who can blame him?
Let's be honest - Martin O'Neill is far too big for West Ham. And he knows it. He has always been a man to go his own sweet way. Like at Celtic, when he spent 45 minutes at Almondvale (the glory days of the SPL...) watching Hibernian vs Rangers, rather than greeting the hoards of fans who had waited patiently in the rain for him. I nabbed an autograph, but many others were disappointed as he made a beeline for the team bus at half time so he could catch the second half on the M8 home. Then on the eve of this season, he walked out on Aston Villa when he didn't get the control of transfers that he wanted from Randy Lerner. In hindsight, looking at how they have struggled under Gerard Houllier, he made a correct decision, spotting a side unable to match up to his own lofty ambitions. How on earth could West Ham fulfill his needs? O'Neill is a very very good manager. But he's not a miracle worker. And he's certainly not a Championship manager. Moreover, the tight financial times at Upton Park will not fund a revival. You want control over your transfers Martin? Forget it.
So instead, Avram gets a stay of execution. Keep the Hammers up, the fans treat you as a hero and the owners ship you out for a flashier name by way of thanks. Sound familiar for the man who took with a post's width of that much sought-after Champions League trophy? Go down, and your the undeserved lack of esteem in which the country already holds you, plummets further. And it's really not his fault. No money means he's stuck with what he's got and even his best efforts cannot inspire this group of players. And because he makes Harry Redknapp look like an Oil of Olay anti-wrinkle cream model, there is a perception that he is uncharismatic and uninspiring. He married a woman who drank piss live on Israeli TV for Christ's sake! It takes some doing to tie a woman like that down! There's something in there in terms of managerial talent I'm sure. I just don't think anyone really will take any notice if it materialises in the next few months.
But like I say, I don't care. I just want to hold onto my money!
RM
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