Angry Birds - Graygate rationalised

I hate political correctness. I also miss Margaret Mountford on The Apprentice. I was just growing to like Karren Brady as her replacement, but then of course her personal agenda with being a woman in football came to the fore again. Sorry Karren, but didn't you shack up with one of the players whilst you were at Birmingham? No disrespect, but it's hardly the image a woman in a man's world wants to present is it?

Yes, what Richard Keys and Andy Gray said on Sky Sports was a bit insulting towards women. Gray is an ex-professional footballer of the 70s and 80s from Clydebank. Why was everyone so surprised by his comments? I doubt the Rangers dressing room was ever a place where the Suffragette Movement was ever discussed, less so the influence Jane Austen had upon the view of female literature. No, it was probably all about the birds they grinded on in Bamboo the week before and what mischievious acts they got up to involving a video camera afterwards, in the day before YouTube could expose you as... well, a bit of a knob really! If you wanted young men to grow up learning to respect women as equals, football was not the place to do it. These views will have remained since Sky Sports was launched in 1992 and I'm pretty sure the issue of Sian Massey was not the first time he and Keys shared a chuckle about women in the game. They just never got caught, despite the fact that any prior discussions would have been done in front of camera and techincal crew. None of whom went to the press then. But, like Gordon Brown and Ron Atkinson before them, they got caught with their pants down and their microphones on. Now Monday Night Football will never be the same again.

Which brings us back to Brady. Again, Keys was a little tactless in essentially disregarding her opinions but he did try and apologise to both women. Massey accepted, Brady didn't answer her phone. "He probably thought I was in the house doing the ironing when I was in fact trying to secure West Ham the soulless box of a stadium that the Olympic Stadium will be after the Games" she said (more or less). Which roughly translates as, "I am a strong woman who, to prove myself as a strong woman capable of roughing it with the big boys, will lack the good grace to accept this apology and move on from what was just pub banter". Because we've all done it. We have all been with a group of lads, joking how women can't park and don't know the offside rule. I haven't been kicked out of medicine yet for my "prehistoric views". Because all of these comments need to be taken into context and not to heart. Some would say it is that sensitivity that has held women back for so long as men see it as a weakness.

We actually had Morag Pirie running the line at Almondvale for us last year. She was no worse than any of the other clowns who turn up on a Saturday but that doesn't necessarily guarantee a precise understanding of the offside rule anyway! And there were at least 1000 jokes made inside the ground at her expense. I'm not saying it's right, but it certainly isn't the sole domain of two axed Sky Sports presenters. The upshot is that Keys and Gray will now become very rich working for Al-Jazeera and Massey will forever be known as "that woman who was the victim as sexism".

As opposed to the good referee that she actually turned out to be. Fair? Or a reflection on an issue that is more minor and yet more widespread than has been made out to be?
RM

Home and Away: The Storm Before the Storm

The title should be explained. We have a 50-over World Cup coming up next month. A 7-week monstrosity, including a month of group stage from which 8 out of the original 14 will qualify. Realistically, there are 9 teams competing for those 8 places. Which basically equates to a month of pointless ODI cricket. And what is currently going on in Australia, South Africa and New Zealand, to help 6 of the guaranteed quarter-finalists prepare? A month of pointless ODI cricket. I'll admit it, it's ground me down. Well done, to the ICC and the Future Tours Programme. You have beaten me. But I am determined to finish this Home and Away series and I'm also determined to staunchly ignore the World Cup group stages. So I thought I'd take the opportunity to see how all 6 of these sides are shaping up, rather than giving my usual blow-by-blow analysis of each of the 350 matches between England and Australia between now and February. Here are the results of the first 4 anyway:

1st ODI (Melbourne) - Australia 297-4 (49.1 overs) (Watson 161* off 150) beat England 294 (49.4 overs) (Pietersen 78 off 75, Strauss 63 off 65) by 6 wickets with 5 balls remaining

2nd ODI (Hobart) - Australia 230 (48.2 overs) (Marsh 110 off 114) beat England 184 (43 overs) (Bollinger 9-0-28-4) by 46 runs

3rd ODI (Sydney) - Australia 215-6 (46 overs) (D Hussey 68* off 89, Haddin 54 off 59) beat England 214 (48 overs) (Trott 84* off 119) by 4 wickets with 24 balls remaining

4th ODI (Adelaide) - England 299-8 (50 overs) (Trott 102 off 128, Prior 67 off 58, D Hussey 4-0-21-4) beat Australia 278-7 (50 overs) (Watson 64 off 72) by 21 runs

So on the face of it, you would have to say that Australia are shaping up better than England for the World Cup. Whilst they have certainly played the better cricket in the series so far, I would still say England are better placed to make an impact on the subcontinent, due to the particular balance of their side. Looking at Australia's scores as well, you can see they have been indebted to some supreme individual performances to get runs on the board - Shane Watson's innings in the first game was so perfectly paced and destructive when it needed to be - one of the finest one-day knocks I've ever seen. Shaun Marsh, heroic centurion in game 2, is not actually in the squad. I have championed Marsh for a long time and he really has been unlucky with injuries which have stifled any momentum that he has gathered, but he will take Mike Hussey's place in the side should he fail to recover from a hamstring strain. Steve Smith has been far more effective here than in the tests with bat and ball - making useful lower order runs quickly and finding a knack for wicket taking in the short spells that stand-in skipper Michael Clarke has afforded him. If and when they fire as a team, they will go far. Sadly, with Nathan Hauritz injured in game 2, they have no frontline spinner with which to tie the scoring down in the middle overs, which is going to be crucial on the subcontinent. Smith and fellow part-timer David Hussey will carry the load, although Xavier Doherty astounded everyone in game 3 when he bowled a clearly bemused Paul Collingwood with a turning delivery!

England can make excuses - they were denied by Watson's genius in Melbourne and since then have never had their first choice bowling attack to hand (incidentally Chris Tremlett, their best bowler in this series, is not in the World Cup 15), with injuries to Broad, Swann and Bresnan, coupled with the unavailability of Jimmy Anderson in games 1-3. But this England team does not make excuses. They will see the lack of depth in the bowling as a concern, but less though than the batting issues. Matt Prior was given the gloves over Steve Davies for the World Cup and responded with two limp ducks at the top of the innings before responding in game 4, following the lead of Aussie counterpart Brad Haddin in hitting over the cover region for early boundaries. He needs to finally prove he has the consistency in this form, although his glovework remains fairly solid. Andrew Strauss and Eoin Morgan have both looked good but found ways of getting themselves out at crucial times. Michael Yardy has not been as effective as he was during the summer, going for runs with the ball and not scoring heavily in the lower-middle order. However, Jonathan Trott has been the Number 3 that England have needed for so long in all forms of the game - playing with solidity, allowing the more flamboyant players to make the shots and keep the scoreboard ticking over at a healthy rate. If the other batsmen can calm themselves down, don't rule England out for the rest of the series and indeed from the World Cup!

Turning to other shores now, with South Africa vs India, a series won 3-2 by South Africa. Concerns remain about the length of the tail in the home camp, although the return from injury of Jacques Kallis should allow them to drop one bowler and strengthen the batting - Johan Botha is a spot too high at 7 just now. Their bowling attack certainly has the potency to be effective all around the world, but they need to rid themselves of the "chokers" tag and the form of Graeme Smith, one 50 in a losing cause apart, remains a concern. India were not at their best, although Virat Kohli looks to be their man to play the Trott role, carrying the batting on many occasions throughout the series, although they will be bolstered by the return of Sehwag, Gambhir and Tendulkar for the tournament which they are co-hosting. Add in the phenomenal power batting of Yusuf Pathan down the order (he does a job with the ball as well) and the fervent home support, and you must start them as favourites, despite the setbacks in this series.

And finally, the two enigmatic sides who could cause an upset in the tournament - New Zealand and Pakistan. Both are woeful test sides right now. But their strengths have always lay in the shorter form of the game. The series is currently 1-1 with 3 to play, Pakistan having handed out a lesson in late innings slogging (Shahid Afridi 65 off 25!) in Christchurch this morning. All they would need to do is survive the banana skins of the group stages (can anyone really see Kenya qualifying? And Canada? To quote the Alternative Rugby Commentary "What the fuck are they doing there?"). After that, they need to win 3 games in a row to win the tournament. Both sides are capable of beating anyone on their day. Pakistan have the better bowlers, skipper Afridi gets through the middle orders quickly and Umar Gul is devastating at the death, whereas New Zealand, with McCullum, Guptill, Taylor and Oram probably edge the batting in terms of consistency (although Abdul Razzaq and Afridi can win games on their own with the bat for Pakistan - just not very often!). How they both get on is anyone's guess.

I am aware that Sri Lanka and West Indies are starting an ODI series on Monday, having had it postponed in the summer after it was brilliantly scheduled for monsoon season. The truth is, I can't be arsed to cover it. It's just too much. I really seriously will not be covering the group stages of the World Cup at the very least. Unless something like Bob Woolmer dying happens again.

I'll finish off the England tour next week
RM

What was the deal with O'Neill?

I should state from the outset that I want West Ham to go down. Not because I dislike them as a team, they're pretty inoffensive (quite literally seeing as they've chucked Jonathan Spector into an attacking midfield role) and do have some talented guys at their disposal. It's more the fact that should they stay up, I will have to hand over £10 of my hard-earned student loan (fill in form, send yourself into a spiralling debt-laden path to doom) to one of my Hammer-supporting friends, as well as having to wear a West Ham scarf on a night out. Such humiliation is too much to bear, although hopefully most people will have seen Green Street and therefore fear me as some kind of Cockney nutjob. Clearly, my bet has been made based on some kind of evidence - not only do I now want them to go down, I expect them to.

On the face of it, they really shouldn't - you look at the likes of Wolves, Wigan, West Brom and Blackpool and you see 4 teams with infinitely less talent in their ranks and a lack of experienced leadership, such as that you would expect from the likes of Matthew Upson and Scott Parker. And yet, there they are, propping up all the other teams in a Premier League, having kicked themselves in the teeth once again yesterday at Everton. Having re-taken the league on 84 minutes, Freddie Picquionne received a second yellow for over-celebrating his goal. A pretty petty reason to take an early bath, granted, but professional footballers know the drill where this is concerned and cannot be absolved on the basis of ignorance. Marouane Fellaini equalised in injury time, when the win would have lifted the Hammers out of the relegation zone. It is yet another example where a dysfunctional infrastructure and attitude within the club has hurt their chances of survival. With one major example from last week (yeh, sorry about the delay - I had exams!)

I'm talking of course about the outrageous flirting with Martin O'Neill, making the courtship on Take Me Out look like Sense and Sensibility. The BBC reported it like this "Martin O'Neill will take over from Avram Grant after the Arsenal game after week-long negotiations". Forgive us all for thinking that a deal was done, but later in the week, Gold, Sullivan and Lord Sugar's bitch gave Avram Grant their "full support" after continually handing him ultimatums over the Christmas period, which the Gravedigger actually managed to fulfill to keep himself in the pressure cooker. Which says to me that O'Neill saw something that he didn't like. And who can blame him?

Let's be honest - Martin O'Neill is far too big for West Ham. And he knows it. He has always been a man to go his own sweet way. Like at Celtic, when he spent 45 minutes at Almondvale (the glory days of the SPL...) watching Hibernian vs Rangers, rather than greeting the hoards of fans who had waited patiently in the rain for him. I nabbed an autograph, but many others were disappointed as he made a beeline for the team bus at half time so he could catch the second half on the M8 home. Then on the eve of this season, he walked out on Aston Villa when he didn't get the control of transfers that he wanted from Randy Lerner. In hindsight, looking at how they have struggled under Gerard Houllier, he made a correct decision, spotting a side unable to match up to his own lofty ambitions. How on earth could West Ham fulfill his needs? O'Neill is a very very good manager. But he's not a miracle worker. And he's certainly not a Championship manager. Moreover, the tight financial times at Upton Park will not fund a revival. You want control over your transfers Martin? Forget it.

So instead, Avram gets a stay of execution. Keep the Hammers up, the fans treat you as a hero and the owners ship you out for a flashier name by way of thanks. Sound familiar for the man who took with a post's width of that much sought-after Champions League trophy? Go down, and your the undeserved lack of esteem in which the country already holds you, plummets further. And it's really not his fault. No money means he's stuck with what he's got and even his best efforts cannot inspire this group of players. And because he makes Harry Redknapp look like an Oil of Olay anti-wrinkle cream model, there is a perception that he is uncharismatic and uninspiring. He married a woman who drank piss live on Israeli TV for Christ's sake! It takes some doing to tie a woman like that down! There's something in there in terms of managerial talent I'm sure. I just don't think anyone really will take any notice if it materialises in the next few months.

But like I say, I don't care. I just want to hold onto my money!
RM

Heineken Cup QF's Confirmed: Status Quo Maintained

We now know the 8 teams left in the running to be the champions of European rugby. Northampton play Ulster, Leinster take on Leicester and the French square up against each other with Perpignan versus Toulon and Biarritz Vs Toulouse.

While I think the knockout stages will be as tense and compelling as always, it is difficult not to suggest ways of making the tournament better. The fact that two of the four matchups are essentially French domestic league games with a little more money involved is clearly an issue in my mind; what is the point in having a trans-European tournament if half of the teams end up playing the same opposition they meet several times in their respective league anyway? It sort of ruins the point.

Matchups where both teams are from the same country also end up eliminating half of that nations competitors by default, thus making the chances of two teams from the same country meeting each other in the final (where the special sense of local rivalry and pageantry is much more intense and welcome) half as likely.

Also, after a hard home and away 4 team group stage that takes several months to complete, only 8 teams progress and earn the right to play but a single match. Not having two-legged knockout stage games is ridiculous considering the amount of work teams have put in to get to the late stages of the tournament. To go home after one match seems a waste; for TV coverage, for the players but most importantly for the fans. What difference does it make if your team gets to the knockout stages if they only get to play one match hundreds of miles away and lose? If a fan doesn't have Sky Sports or a lot of frequent flier miles, they are not going to get any enjoyment from following one of the best 8 teams in Europe.

Finally, there are simply not enough sides in the knockout part of the competition. There should be a Round of 16 introduced. Let the 1st place sides be joined by every 2nd placed team. Either take the remaining 4 teams needed from the best 3rd placed sides, or better still come up with a way to introduce the Amlin Cup teams into the proceedings. This is currently a frankly pointless tournament that no-one cares about. Lower the number of teams participating and make that competition a four group affair. Let the winners of these Amlin Cup groups be the final 4 teams to make up the new Heineken Round of 16. This would give clubs from smaller provinces and countries more of a chance at the top table, something that is woefully lacking at the moment.

My proposals aren't brilliant, mainly because I am thinking them up as I write. But the point that they are trying to address, the reform of trans-European club rugby, is valid. Maybe I will have started the ball rolling...

GM

Football's Clarke Kent

Last night saw the broadcast of another edition of the BBC's flagship political discussion show Question Time. With the five or so panellists taking part in some pretty relevant and serious debate (although the standard has deteriorated a bit in my book), it is the last place one would expect to find a footballer. After all, most are far more used to the glare of flashing club strobe lights than the BBC spotlight.

Last night, though, was the exception. Coming live from Burnley, the panel included local interested party and centre back Clarke Carlisle. The Burnley FC vice-captain was joined by, amongst others, Clarets superfan and spindoctor in retirement Alistair Campbell and Lib Dem Deputy Leader Simon Hughes. Not to mention the presence of media whore George Galloway.

Carlisle did pretty well, considering that those other panellists are no slouches. He had an pretty easy gig to be sure; no-one was going to disagree with what he said as long as he sided with the majority view. He lost it a bit on certain points, particularly regarding the Iraq Inquiry and its fallout. But his points about the discontinuation of EMA were astute, and he did well to survive being in the firing line during a Campbell-Galloway verbal broadside. Overall, he came across as pretty clued up and displayed such skills as well constructed grammer and proper elocution. Praising this would be a bit patronising to most, but frankly for footballers it is about as good as it gets intellectually.

To add a bit of perspective, Big Clarke has 10 GCSE's and two A levels. Not bad, but hardly brilliant either. I would also guess that, had he not suffered season-ending injuries during his school years, he probably would not have those qualifications. And yet, he was easily crowned "Britain's Brainiest Footballer" a while back. I struggle to think of many other players who would give him a run for his money; Frank Lampard, David James and Benoit Assou-Ekotto do spring to mind. Still, he is unlikely to best me in a legal debate or lecture Ryan on the intricacies of the cardiovascular system.

Also, there are plenty of sportsmen in other sports that display similar smarts. In the Scottish rugby setup, we have a qualified doctor in Geoff Cross and a medical student (on hold) in Richie Vernon, as well as two Law graduates in past squads (Cusiter and Simon Taylor) for example.

But let's not get too downbeat about Mr Carlisle's achievements. As well as battling and defeating alcoholism in 2005, Clarke did also get to appear on Countdown and did damned well, no doubt spurred on by host Jeff Stelling (is there anything Jeff cannot do?). And earning the chance to meet replacement-Vorderman Rachel Riley is not to be sniffed at (I wonder if she is another thing Jeff can do?).

And it does now seem true that young footballers are receiving far better education through the footballing academies; players in possession of double digit GCSE's now seem to be part of a far more significant minority than before.

It is nice to have a positive image of sportsmen on our screens, particularly a footballer. It's a pity that nobody watches Question Time except me anyway!

GM

Home and Away: Yes, the Ashes Tour really is still going on!

When the euphoria dies down and everybody heads back to work and onto the diet after Christmas, you can be certain that somewhere, one-day cricket will be being played. But hey, there's a World Cup coming up (typically lasting from the middle of February to the beginning of April - I tip my hat to anybody who can stay interested for the entire 7 weeks) so at least there is some reason for England and Australia to be playing each other, unlike those pointless 5 matches we had over here last summer. I appreciate that the 1st ODI has already been played, but owing to my busy schedule, I haven't yet been able to catch up with the highlights of that one. Therefore this article features the warm-up match and the 2 T20 internationals, which conveniently enough finished 1-1, prompting the captains to claim that "no one side had any momentum going into the one-dayers" and the ICC to sweep under the carpet the fact that really it would have been more worthwhile to have a best-of-3. Or, even better, a one-off.

Tour match (Canberra) - England 225-3 (33.3 overs) (Bell 124* off 102) beat Prime Minister's XI 254-9 (43 overs) (Christian 53 off 53, Paine 50 off 59) by 7 wickets with 9 balls remaining (D/L method)

1st T20I (Adelaide) - England 158-9 (20 overs) (Pietersen 25 off 11: 3 x 4s, 1 x 6s; Watson 4-0-15-4) beat Australia 157-4 (20 overs) (Watson 59 off 31: 6 x 4s, 3 x 6s) by 1 wicket with 0 balls remaining. And it was every bit as exciting as the scoreline suggests. England set a world record, with 8 consecutive victories in the shortest format of the game but they really made heavy weather of what appeared a straightforward run chase. With Pietersen and Ian Bell having got off to flying starts and then got out, Eoin Morgan (43) was left to shepherd the lower order towards the target. But all look lost when Shane Watson's inviting medium pacers wrecked the set batsman's innings, with a 21-year old debutant left at the crease with Nos. 10 & 11 with 17 runs still to get. That he got there off the last ball displays a calculating and cool head on Chris Woakes' shoulders and suggests that he will have a long international future. That said, he was included in this side for his bowling, which was a little wayward at times - he does not yet swing the ball enough or at sufficient pace to be a genuine threat in all conditions in all forms of the game. England did well to restrict Australia to 157 after a flying start afforded them by Watson, who absolutely brutalised Graeme Swann in his first over. However, Bresnan, Yardy and Shahzad all pulled things back towards the middle and end of the innings, showing a bowling attack, whilst lacking out-and-out pace, that can support one another and cover when somebody has an off day. Watson aside, Australia didn't offer a great deal in this game, although it's great to see Brett Lee back in international cricket.

2nd T20I (Melbourne) - Australia 147-7 (20 overs) (Finch 53* off 33: 4 x 4s, 2 x 6s; Swann 4-0-19-2, Yardy 4-0-19-2) beat England 143-6 (20 overs) (Johnson 4-0-29-3, Watson 4-0-17-2) by 4 runs. A very similar pattern to the first game, albeit on what appeared a slightly more difficult track to bat on. Australia flew out of the traps with Warner, Watson and Paine, but then were pegged back by some expert spin bowling by Swann and Yardy. So much so that Collingwood thought it was a good idea to try Kevin Pietersen near the end. It wasn't. The man who held the innings together was Aaron Finch, a man who debuted in Adelaide and made a name for himself here. To my mind, he was the only man who found any timing off the pitch, funnily enough his home ground! A stocky build demonstrates the great power he has for hitting down the ground, although he also played very compactly behind square on the leg-side, finding gaps that none of the othe players were able to on the day. It was a lack of an innings of this sort that ultimately made England's bid for victory fall short. Bell and Davies again started well, but from there thiings just meandered, although Woakes' last over 6 suggested another classic finish could be on the cards. Sadly, Brett Lee's nous at the death proved too much for he and Tim Bresnan. Mitchell Johnson was still wayward but at least managed to surprise 3 batsmen with decent enough balls to get them out. Paul Collingwood looks pretty finished in international cricket. He wasn't able to strike above 100 in either game and, although his captaincy has been impressive in the shorter form, even his fielding is matched or bettered by some of the younger guys in the side. The World Cup may well be his last hurrah

First 3 ODIs next time
RM

Going Up Top (Again): The NFL Playoffs

I am fairly certain I said that I would write the REview of the Divisional round, not the PREview...

Confusion aside, someone needs to do it, so here is my rather hurried take on the upcoming games for anyone who reads this blog between now (6:30pm on Saturday) and the start of the opening game of the weekend, Baltimore at the Steelers at 9:30pm. It's fairly unlikely that anyone will see this then, so I can pretty much predict whatever I want without fear of mockery!

Here goes.

Baltimore Ravens at Pittsburgh Steelers

This is a very tough call between two very tough teams. Writing this now, I have the advantage of knowing about Ray Rice contracting some form of illness pre-game. This should mean that he is not playing, and this means that the Ravens' chances have diminished quite a bit. Or he could just get himself pumped full of painkillers and play anyway, in which case Baltimore are right back in there.

Let's look at this at bit more. Yes, the past 6 games between these two have been decided by 7 points or less, but Pittsburgh is 5-2 in the past 7 games. Unscientific I know, but if they have won all of these past close calls then they clearly possess some advantage over Baltimore. Nobody seems to be giving Pittsburgh and Roethlisberger sufficient credit for their regular season performance. Case in point, Ryan predicted a mere 7-9 season for the boys in black and gold. Unerringly accurate! (Shut up Graeme, you're only putting pressure on yourself!). Couple this with Big Ben's improving numbers throughout the last few games of the season and I am very confident that if this is to be a close battle, it will end in another Steelers triumph.

Joe Flacco is not as good as Big Ben and without a running game that frankly wasn't brilliant even with Rice, he will be under too much pressure to carry the offense. He does have a much better offensive line the Ben does, and the score will be kept close in part due to the woeful nature of the Steelers' big men. If Baltimore win, it will be through solid line play.

I hate picking the score, as I almost invariably get it horribly wrong. But how about 34-27 to Pittsburgh?

New York Jets at New England Patriots

The Jets have been too busy talking bullshit to realise that they are nowhere near the class of team that they thought they would be this year. Due to the division rivalry in this game, and the fact that post season games tend be be close, I don't think New England will pummel New York like many others say they will.

I am confident, though, that the Pats will win. Belichick has had two weeks to plan for this game, and his record in games played after two weeks rest is perfect. The Pats are also obviously pissed at the Jets for the tirade of insults and slights they have been getting from them.

Brady for one will be out to teach Rex Ryan a lesson in humility. The Jets are poor at defending the short middle of the field, which conveniently for the Pats is where Welker, Woodhead and Hernandez do their best work. For the Jets, I don't see the Sanchise doing anything well in this. Belichick will be too clever for him, but mainly this will be because he is pish and his own coaches don't trust him. At several stages, I see New York wheeling out the awful Brad Smith pistol formation, which invariably failed in the regular season and will do so again in this game.

New England win 34-10. Belichick completely snubs Ryan at midfield with all the cameras watching. Mark Sanchez puts his head in his hands and doesn't take it back out until training camp.

Green Bay at Atlanta

This one is a real bugger. Green Bay should have won the encounter these two had in the regular season, going down 20-17 after a couple of fluke plays. On the other hand, Atlanta do have that brilliant home record.

And yet, the Falcons were terrible at the end of the season. They couldn't stop the run or run it themselves. They should frankly be a little ashamed of their 13-3 record, as they simply didn't deserve that many wins.

The Pack have Aaron Rodgers, and for me that is the gamechanger here. Not only is he a better QB than Matt Ryan, he has also been in a similar situation before (two season's ago, when they lost narrowly away to the Cards). He should have learned. Unless he forgot it all when he got concussed. Side point, if that happens in this match, Atlanta stroll through.

I'm going to say that the Green Bay defensive front 7 stops Michael Turner dead, and Matt Ryan has to run the show by himself. He will be pressured by Bloodline Matthews et al and, in spite of making some good plays, will get picked off at key moments. The Falcons D will simply not be good enough to stop Rodgers scoring on a couple of deep passes.

Even though it is picking against the number 1 seed in the playoffs, playing in their home stadium, I'm going with the Packers in a shootout. Green Bay wins 31-27.

Seattle Seahawks at Chicago Bears

Hate this game. Really hate it. The Seahawks are a one game fluke with a bad regular season record, the Bears are a regular season fluke with an unknown playoff record.

I don't trust the Bears at all, but lady luck is evidenty enamoured with them. Much as the Seahawks have given me evidence as recently as last week to pick them, I'm going to go for the lucky team.

Let's just make obvious predictions with this one. Cutler will be shit, Hasslebeck will be shit and then get injured. Both o-lines will fail miserably to get a running game going, and the Bears will score the only touchdown on a running back dive from 2 yards out after a Devin Hester punt return. Pete Carroll will stand bent over so much that the wind will change and he will become stuck that way. Unable to properly stand up again, he will need to be carried out of the stadium by Charlie Whitehurst. Who will fumble him.

Obviously, almost none of this will actually happen.

Bears win in a shit game. Lets pick a low scoring 16-9 due to the random nature of the two offenses, and for the sake of balance.

GM

The RedZone: Wrapping Up the Wildcards

Graeme tells me he is going to preview the divisional playoffs at some point (preferably in the next 24 hours before they actually start). In the meantime, I'm going to wrap up wildcard week with an analysis of the key performers in each game, similar to a normal RedZone piece. Apologies for the delay - busy times for me right now:

Saints @ Seahawks - Seahawks win 41-36.
Key man: Brandon Stokley - 4 catches, 73 yards, 1 TD. Yes I appreciate this selection is a little left of field, particular in light of Marshawn Lynch's amazing 67 yard tackle busting run and Matt Hasslebeck's near flawless performance under centre. But the selection of Stokley was made for one simple reason - he was described early in the game by Sky Sports' Nick Halling as "a poor man's Wes Welker". Stokley had come on after Ben Obomanu got shaken up (he later returned) and subsequently performed like a good Wes Welker as a slot receiver. It does of course help that Hasslebeck rolled back the years with a dominant performance against a surprisingly impotent and error-prone Saints defence. The highlight was the 45-yard reception that gave Seattle the lead which they never relinquished.

Jets @ Colts - Jets win 17-16
Key men: David Harris - 9 tackles; Calvin Pace - 4 tackles, 1 sack. To beat the Colts at Lucas, you have to stop Peyton Manning and neutralise the offense. The Jets' aggressive defensive system was perfectly suited to do just that. LBs Harris and Pace have the standout numbers, but every single man on D in green put in a hard shift that was rewarded by Nick Folk's 32-yard FG as time ran out. Rex Ryan has clearly put all of his previous coaching experience to good use on the defense, although they still struggle enough on offense to quell talk that they'll go all the way to the Superbowl. They really won't.

Ravens @ Chiefs - Ravens win 30-7
Key man: Todd Heap - 10 receptions, 108 yards. Ah the joys of a receiving TE. See, I don't think the Chiefs defense played as badly as the scoreline suggests, and the Ravens certainly struggled to stuff the runs of Jamaal Charles early on, so the blowout nature of the final numbers are not a reflection of how things actually went. Eric Berry and Tamba Hali were especially effective at breaking up passing plays and getting to Joe Flacco, which is why Heap's calming presence was so important. None of his plays were massive (21 yards his best), but he gave the short-medium passing route option for Flacco, who did at times look a little flustered in the pocket. Not the best blocker, Heap does manage to find a lot of space for himself in the middle of the field, so it's no wonder he was targetted so often!

Packers @ Eagles - Packers win 21-16
Key man: James Starks - 23 carries, 123 yards; 2 catches, 9 yards. There's something about 6th round picks that surprise in the playoffs (Tom Brady anyone?). Starks set a franchise record for rookie rushing yards in the postseason with his performance against the Eagles, who remain chronically awful at stopping the run without Stewart Bradley at MLB. He actually more than doubled his total yards for the season in this one game! Particularly impressive was his work in the four-minute offense, picking up a couple of crucial first downs to minimise the amount of time that Michael Vick had to mount a late comeback, which was eventually ended with a Tramon Williams INT. Not a great deal wrong with the Eagles on offense, save for DeSean Jackson only being half-fit, it was the defense that cost them this season. I just pray that Vick returns for another shot at glory in 2011. Until then, it's back to the drawing board.

RM

Addition from Graeme

The poor play of the Redskins has led me to tune out of the football groove for a while. I had so many things I could have said about the Skins had we been good this year. Then it dawned on me: I had so many things I could have said about so many players in the NFL this year that I didn't get to use because events turned out differently. So here is my contribution to the Redzone this week- a list of puns that never were. All are my own intellectual property, so hands off!


-David Buehler’s Day Off (for use when the Cowboys lose a game due to a David Buehler missed field goal. Not used due to the Cowboys never being in a close game this year)
-Jairus Byrd is the Word (for if the Bills safety did something positive)
-Kyle Wilson’s War (for use if the Jets corner got into a fight, or joined the army. Both unlikely)
-And here’s to you, Patrick Robinson (why did Pat not get to play and Roman Harper did!?!)
-Jimmy Clause-and-effect/ Jimmy get out clause/ Jimmy Highly in-Claus-able (last one is best, as in 'It's highly In-Claus-able that Jimmy will be a good QB')
-Jason Worilds-end murders/ Jimmy Eat Worilds (with such an easy name to pun, why was he a late round draft pick and not a superstar?)
-Amelia Gerhart (to be used if Toby Gerhart went missing in the South Pacific. Somewhat unlikely)
-The War of Jenkins’ Ear (God knows how this would be relevant to Saints CB Mike Jenkins)
-Larry the English Patient (to be used if Chargers OLB English got injured and flew to England to consult Michael Owen's knee specialist)
-The Sarkisian Candidate (would have been used if University of Washington coach Steve Sarkisian was interviewed for an NFL job)
-Longs Walk to Freedom (if Jake and Chris Long teamed up to bring democracy to Zimbabwe. Unlikely)
-Keith Rivers of Blood (If a Rivers tackle drew blood)
-Sent to the Mayo Clinic (If a Jerod Mayo tackle sent someone to hospital)
-Absolute Zero: Leodis McKelvin (more a new nickname than a pun, but hey)
-Of Men and Ray Rice ( I really should have used this one at some point!)
-Casino Royal (to be used after good play by Eddie Royal of Denver. Not used as a pun due to it being shit)
-Cat on a Hot Wynn Roof (To be used if 5th string Saints back Deshawn Wynn played well. Considering the Saints' RB situation this year, I'm surprised I didn't get to use this one)
-The Grapes of Barth (For if kicker Connor Barth did anything of notoriety)
-One flew over Taribo West (different kind of football, but come on; this is genius!)
-Raging Null (to be used after a Jake LaMotta-esque performance from the Rams' Keith Null)
-Weatherspoon Heights (if Sean Weatherspoon were to release a book or music video)
-The Deer Punter (for use in some form of punter related piece)
-Chariots of Matt McBriar (for use if Matt McBriar recovered a fumble and outpaced the D for a touchdown, or had became religious and refused to play on Sundays)
-No Country for Arrelious Benn (Again, really should have used this one!)
-Candle-Vick Green (unlikely reference between Mike Vick and English animated childrens classic)
-Sleepless in Arnaz Battle (If receiver Arnaz Battle were to have signed with Seattle)
-Dawson’s Creek (if Browns kicker Phil did a Pat McAfee and drunkenly fell into a creek)
-Norv-ill and Dean (For use if Norv Turner of the Chargers had appeared on 'Dancing on Ice')
-LaBoy Story (If something involving Travis LaBoy happened)
-Doctor Suh (For use if Ndamakong Suh had used time travel to take Detroit back to the 1950's, the last time they were good)
-Orton Welles (for use if Kyle Orton died and left a cryptic mystery to be solved by Jason La Canfora)
-Rolle Deep (if Anrell Rolle took up rapping, came out with a profound quote about the nature of existance, or was caught napping and beaten on a deep throw)
-The Importance of Being Earnest Graham (Could be the title of a reality TV show in itself)
-I capture the Cassel (Damn my inability to come up with these at the time!)

GM

Letter of the Lawes is oh so Gray

The news that England are having to deal with various injuries in the run up to the Six Nations is obviously good news for a die hard Scot. Obviously I don't wish injury on anyone, but if they contrive to get hurt by themselves then I won't complain!

Tom Croft ruled out at 6 is a serious blow, as he was key to the English lineout and there is no replacement blindside who comes close to providing the skillset that the Leicester man gives out.

This article is mainly concerned with Courtney Lawes though. The big 2nd Row is almost certainly out for the entire competition. This is bad news for the English press, who have hyped him up to be the new Great Hope of the pack, a super forward who is some kind of Martin Johnson, John Eales, Victor Matfield and Goliath rolled into one. Now he does not have a chance to show us any of this for a while.

The way the English media treats any player with a red rose on their jersey really bugs me. There is no middle ground between aggressive and total insult of any 'underperformer' and building a pedestal to put any player who has had a few decent games on. More a Tower of Babel methinks.

I haven't really got any issues with the English as a nation or as people. But their sports teams, whether rugby or football, have an unnerving capacity to attract my animosity. Quite simply, I love it when England lose, especially when they are humiliated and destroyed utterly. It is frankly what they have coming after the way the media treats them and the way that they buy into the hype by believeing themselves to be superior to all others. There is something of the spirit of the British Empire to this; a sense of entitlement that history has shown to be a bad thing.

Not all of the players buy into this of course but the ones that do, the Dallaglio's and the Johnston's, are invariably tossers. And they are never, ever as good as they were billed or remembered to be.

Scotland legend John Jeffrey, when once asked about any regrets he had in life, answered "When I am at home in the Borders and I climb a hill, I can see England". When it comes to sports, I can see his point. I would not want to see England either.

The main point of this particular article, though, is to highlight the other thing that really grates me about coverage of England.

Lawes is undoubtedly a good player. I have watched him play for Northampton and England several times and have been impressed by him. But I have also watched young Scottish giant Richie Gray, another 2nd row, many times. And I fail to see that Lawes is so much better. In fact, I believe that right now they are as good as each other.

Gray is mobile, but Lawes is clearly the better athlete, more basketball small forward than rugby player at times. Gray, though, offers a lot more in terms of physical graft and work in the tight. He also is a more willing carrier of the ball than Lawes seems to be, and runs good lines.

In my mind, there is a good debate to be had over who is the better prospect. But at the end of the day only one of these young men is now a household name thanks the the media. The other is working away to little acclaim outside of middle class Glasgow and knowledgable Scotland fans.

English hype and bias kills off the recognition that players from Scotland deserve. At the end of it all, I know that Gray is going to have a great career anyway and may well end up partnering Lawes in the 2013 Lions' engine room. But it is the principle that counts.

GM

Home and Away - The Ashes Tour: 5th Test

Crack open the champagne and bring out the Sprinkler - England have won the Ashes away from home for the first time in 24 years. There is no way you understate just how well this side has done, regardless of the quality of the opposition. Three innings defeats are not to be sniffed it. Of course, there are further tests to come - this cannot be seen as the pinnacle for this side, as it was back in 2005. There is a World Cup and a home series against the No.1 Test side India upcoming in 2011 - only then can we make a judgement on just how good English cricket is right now. But for now, let us bask in the glory of the SCG. This is the last test match I'm covering until the summer, so I'm going to modify my style one last time before the anniversary review that the BtC board of directors will undertake. I promise there will be some continuity in 2011. And much less county cricket!

5th Test (Sydney): England 644 (Cook 189, Prior 118, Bell 115, Strauss 60, Johnson 4-168) beat Australia 280 (Johnson 53, Anderson 4-66) and 281 (Smith 54*) by an innings and 83 runs and win the series and the Ashes 3-1.

The Good: England's batting once again confounded all expectations after their well-documented (check our archive) problems against the swinging ball at home in the summer. Chiefly tormented by the Dukes ball was Alastair Cook. The runs that he has scored in this series have totally reversed his fortunes and cemented his place in the record books. His performances have also ensured that I will always refer to him with Frank Keating-esque whimsy to my grandchildren. He may not be flashy, but Ian Bell and Matt Prior certainly are. So often they frustrate and do not make the runs their style deserves, but they made hay against a flagging Australian attack, both particularly strong in front of the wicket. I might as well also mention Usman Khawaja as a genuine hope for the future in the Aussie batting lineup. His subcontinental roots have blessed him with a wristy approach and legside bias although a weakness just outside off stump remains. But then, that was Cook's major weakness as he started out - look at him now! Finally, the England pace attack looked superb with the old ball. James Anderson in particular completely buried the demons of four years ago with a devastating spell of reverse swing bowling. Big Chris Tremlett also continued to show his development and thoroughly deserved to take the wicket that sealed the game

The Bad: Whilst the overall performance of the England pace attack was good, the way they dealt with the tail in the first innings. From 189-8, Australia recovered to 280, thanks to lower order runs from Mitchell Johnson and Ben Hilfenhaus. I felt there was too much short pitched bowling outside off, allowing the batsman a free swing and some big boundaries. Eventually Tim Bresnan wised up and pitched it up - full and straight to the tail will work eventually. There is no point in fearing Johnson's batting, yes, his backlift is enormous and he may swat you for six now and again, but he has not the temperament to play a defensive innings - he'll get himself out eventually. Other teams may not be as forgiving as this fragile lot! We should also continue to despair the selection of Steve Smith - not because he's a bad player, just because they Aussies don't know what to do with him - is he a 6 or 7? Can he bowl or can't he? On this evidence, his bowling is not yet good enough, and his batting, whilst good, is not yet good enough to bat in the top 6, therefore he is not currently worth a place in the side. His time will come.

The Ugly: Not for the first time, the final decision reached by the UDRS was not to the satisfaction of the Australians, indicating perhaps a flaw in the way it is implemented. Ian Bell was given out on 67 off an inside edge. Nothing showed on Hotspot - the Snickometer could not be reviewed because it takes so long to be of use. The decision was overturned, despite Bell's uncertainty in taking the review. Snicko showed he'd nicked it. More work needs to be done to make the decision making as flawless as possible. Also ugly were the shots played by the Aussie batsmen in getting out. Too often have Michael Clarke and Brad Haddin in particular wafted hard at balls outside the off and been caught behind the wicket. But ugliest of all was the no-ball bowled by debutant Michael Beer, just as Alastair Cook holed out to mid-on. This reprieve essentially lost Australia the Ashes.

So there you have it. A classic series won comfortably by the best side. Here are my series highlights with the slightly bizarre contexts in which I saw them:

• The first morning at Adelaide. Simon Katich run out brilliantly by Jonathan Trott without facing, with Ricky Ponting and Michael Clarke soon traipsing off to the pavilion in his wake. Aussies 2-3 and never came back in the match. I sat with my teammates screaming at the box, having just turned up 24 pairs of trousers for a tournament that weekend. Domestic bliss!


• Ricky Ponting's meltdown at Melbourne after Kevin Pietersen is correctly given not out on review. You knew the Ashes were lost when Ricky's top finally blew and he launched a tirade at umpire Aleem Dar. I took all of this in alone on a night shift in a nursing home. Fortunately nobody had a call of nature in the small hours to disturb me!


• Paul Collingwood's dismissal of Mike Hussey at Sydney in what turned out to be his final test match. We salute you for all your hard graft over the last 7 years Colly! I had just said he'd get Hussey out as well. For I was sat with a friend entirely heterosexually eating cheese and drinking wine. What? We had a lot of food left over from Christmas!

ODIs and T20s to follow
RM

Reds Rail Roy

I think whenever there is a change of ownership at a football club, it is fairly inevitable that the incumbent manager will be staring down the barrel from the off. Evidence in point being the dismissal of ‘Big’ Sam Allardyce by the magnificent Venky’s group (this is one sacking I have no problems with. Venky’s are not only a dodgy, Monty Python-esque purveyor of Indian poultry, they are also now the newest member of the group of owners who managed to get rid of Allardyce from Match of the Day, for a while at least; the man is like thrush).

NESV, the owners of Liverpool, have followed my hypothesis by recently sacking Uncle Roy Hodgson. On the face of it, he did probably have it coming a bit due to the sheer mediocrity of Liverpool’s play this year.

But I believe that if I was running a football team I would consider at least these two other key criteria before I dismissed my manager. Poor results are all well and bad, but a change of face in the dugout will make no difference unless the bigger picture is clear.

Firstly, I would want to establish whether the manager has failed his squad, by dragging them down or selling key players or simply not ‘managing’ them well enough. In many cases, and in particular the case of Liverpool, the inverse has been true. The Reds’ big names have failed utterly to show up to the party. Torres, Gerrard and even the normally impeccable Reina have been found wanting in nearly every match. I am pretty certain that there has not been a single game this season in which more than one of these three key men have been anywhere near the top of their game.

There is a fine balance to be had here between contributing factors. Are the players not performing for the manager? Whose fault is that; theirs, his or both? Have there been injuries? And so on and so forth.

Simply put, the players in the current Liverpool squad have demonstrated over the past few seasons that they have more than enough talent to finish higher than the bottom half of the table. And Roy Hodgson, in his previous job at Fulham, has demonstrated likewise. All these things do not change over the course of a few months; that is not how football works. Both parties must have let their standards slip.

Therefore, it is reasonable to assume that Hodgson has to front at least part of the blame for Liverpool’s abject showing thus far. It is, though, also reasonable to believe that partial, unspecific blame is hardly enough to warrant such a drastic move as a firing, and the inevitable culture shock that comes in its aftermath. Certainly, you couldn’t sack the line manager of a chronically underperforming paperclip factory because they stole the occasional box of paperclips; somewhere along the line two and two would not add up.

The second criteria I would apply would be ‘never trade down’. Simply put, there is no reason to get rid of somebody if you do not have a replacement of at least equal quality waiting in the wings. For the record, Kenny Dalgleish does not qualify (not that I think he’s a realistic candidate for the full time job in the slightest).

We can only wait and see if NESV and John W. Henry fulfil this second criteria in the weeks to come. But I am pretty certain they will not, certainly if talks of Owen Coyle being lined up are confirmed.

Liverpool were not going to be relegated this year, nor were they going into the Champions League. Surely, then, it makes better sense to keep Hodgson until the end of the season, allowing you more time to properly evaluate his performance and compare it to the performances of his players (who, incidentally, have received a ‘get out of jail free’ pass for their bad play in the current scenario, as is too often the case) and line up a suitable replacement?

GM

GOING UP TOP! - The NFL Playoffs

The Postseason is here! For some of us, it means 11 meaningless games whereby those of us lucky enough to have played well this season (and Seattle) slog it out in the background on the hunt for the Vince Lombardi Trophy. For others, myself amongst them, it is potentially the beginning of the path to glory. My Birds (a meaning that has become ambiguous following my 21st birthday party) are in action as part of Wildcard Weekend - 4 games between seeds 3-6 in the NFC and AFC. Let's make like a rapper and break it down:

Game 1: New Orleans @ Seattle - NFC Seeds 4 & 5.
Key matchups:

Reggie Bush vs Lofa Tatupu - Reggie has a lot of work to do with leading rushers Chris Ivory and Pierre Thomas placed on IR this week. Bush has missed a lot of game time this year and when he has hit the gridiron, has not looked as explosive as he can be. Perhaps his Heisman Trophy was like Samson's hair. Tackles machine Tatupu will lead the defense and if he is on best form, will probably stuff the Saints' rush game

Tracy Porter and Jabari Greer vs Mike Williams - make no mistake, the Saints will score points. The only way Seattle can win this game is if they too fire on offense. Williams has bounced back from being previously rubbish to comfortably lead Matt Hasslebeck's receiving corps this season. Porter and Greer are one of the league's premier CB pairings (although the Bengals' pair were voted No.1 at the start of the season - how'd that turn out?) and will need to deal with Williams' physicality and deep threat to prosper

Jon Stinchcomb vs Chris Clemons - the premier Saints O-Lineman faces off against the premier Seahawks D-Lineman. Why is this matchup so crucial? Because if Clemons can overcome Stinchcomb and disrupt Drew Brees, then the damage that the New Orleans offense can do will be severely limited. Do I think this is likely? No. Do I need to stop asking myself questions and then answering them? Yes.

Prediction: Saints at a canter - let's say 31-13.

Game 2: New York Jets @ Indianapolis - AFC Seeds 3 & 6
Key matchups:

Mark Sanchez vs Dwight Freeney - make no mistake, Freeney's ankle injury and subsequent lack of mobility was one of the prime reasons why the Colts were unable to overcome the Saints in last year's Superbowl. However, this year he is primed and ready and faces a much less potent opponent than Drew Brees. Sanchez continues to frustrate, looking every bit the Sanchise one minute and a bit shit the next. He clearly hasn't got the mental fortitude to lead a side to the Superbowl yet. But he might just get the edge over Freeney in this game.

LaDanian Tomlinson vs Joseph Addai - both of these sides are very centred on the pass, the Colts' love of the deep threat longstanding with Peyton Manning under centre, the Jets' dealings more recent in a hope that Sanchez will one day deliver consistently. Both will look to throw plenty tomorrow night. Where the game will be won and lost is how many extra yards each side can be gained on the ground, thus making the play action pass a more viable option for the respective QB. LT has enjoyed a much improved season since moving from San Diego, whilst Addai has spent a fair bit of time on the sidelines, although has found surprising success on occasion. I actually think the Colts may hold the edge here.

Darrelle Revis vs Reggie Wayne - Revis Island. A lonely place to be marooned on. We all know the Jets have talked a load of bullshit all season and haven't really been all they claimed to be but Revis is still a class act. Wayne has looked good in all circumstances this season, pretty much the only man that Peyton has been able to consistently rely on with such a banged up unit this season. He will once again provide options, provided he manages to stick to Antonio Cromartie for most of the evening.

Prediction: J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets. 24-16. Don't know why, just don't really feel the Colts deserve to be there given how they've played this season. Don't worry, the Jets will be put out by the Patriots next week, Sanchez still unable to push through to the very top!

Game 3: Baltimore @ Kansas City - AFC Seeds 4 & 5
Key matchups:

Joe Flacco vs Matt Cassel - much as I like to avoid Collinsworth-itis and picking both QB's as a matchup, there is no avoiding it with this game. We have Flacco, a man who typifies solidity, with a good arm, good accuracy and good decision-making skills. Nothing flashy, just a very very good player. Much like Cassel, who suddenly has broken out to show exactly what he can do, keeping the interceptions to a minimum and not overstretching his capabilities. Flacco leads the yards, but then has thrown more often. Cassel has 2 more TD's. The difference is that narrow that whoever has the better afternoon could seal the day.

Ray Lewis vs Jamaal Charles - Charles has had a monster year. With 6.4 yards per carry in the backfield, he has led the NFL and has had to share time with Thomas Jones, whilst still rushing for 1467 yards. The O-Line is excellent, and have protected Charles and Jones superbly. Only a top quality defense, led by an absolute maniac could shut them down. Which is exactly what Ray Lewis and the Ravens' D are. Despite having been around seemingly since the Cold War, Lewis has shown no signs of slowing down, still firing up his colleagues and making huge hits himself. Something has to give.

Anquan Boldin vs Dwayne Bowe - You look at the numbers and you go with Bowe. 15 TD's against Boldin's 7. 1162 yards against 837. But - you look at the two separate receiving units and you see that Bowe is really the only option that the Chiefs have. As well as Boldin, the Ravens have Derrick Mason and TJ Houshmanzadeh, more than capable at making plays. But Boldin is that cut above them and will lead Flacco's offense. You can't really call this one.

Prediction: 21-15 Ravens.

Game 4: Green Bay @ Philadelphia - NFC Seeds 3 & 6
Key matchups:

Nick Collins vs DeSean Jackson - D-Jax is the reason Philly are in the playoffs. Without him and THAT punt return against the Giants in the dying seconds, they would have lost and missed out on the NFC East title. He is a serious threat, both on the end-around run and the deep pass - fortunately he has a QB with a big enough arm to find him downfield. He will match up against Pro Bowl safety Collins, who has picked off 4 passes this year, and has a fantastic engine. He will need it against Jackson.

Clay Matthews III vs Michael Vick - the Eagles' O-Line is terrible. Jason Peters got selected to the Pro Bowl on reputation alone. Matthews WILL have opportunities to get to Michael Vick and he will want to hit him hard, just like he did to Kevin Kolb in Week 1 to hand Vick that opportunity which he took so well. His success is dependent upon how elusive Vick can be out of the pocket and whether he is given enough room by his line to fire some big guns to Jackson and Jeremy Maclin.

Chad Clifton vs Trent Cole - a proper scrap between two top linemen which will dictate the success of the Packers' offense. Aaron Rodgers is a great QB who must be protected to allow the Packers to keep up with the dynamic Philly offense. Points will need to be on the board and Clifton has to compete with one of the best pass rushers in the game in Cole. Green Bay has improved in protecting Rodgers, the better passer of the 2 QBs, this season - but Cole will be one of their tougher opponents

Prediction: Eagles in OT. Don't know how many points will be on the board but I reckon it'll be a good game!

RM

The Back Page: January 2011

Happy New Year! Owing to a combination of the Hogmanay and 21st birthday festivities, this feature has been delayed for a few days, but we're ready to go now!

Twitter faux pas of the month (i): Andrew Flintoff. Fresh from a new series of A League of Their Own (it's shit) and commentating on the PDC Darts (which are also shit), Flintoff surpassed himself in December by "inadvertedly" giving out his entire mobile phone number on Twitter. The fact that he was surprised at receiving hundreds of calls and messages from strangers is the most amazing part of this story

Twitter faux pas of the month (ii): Roddy White. The Atlanta Falcons WR wound up the New Orleans Saints and by extension the entire city of New Orleans (most of the city list the Superdome as one of their prior addresses) by making an ill-judged but sadly little publicised comment about Hurricane Katrina. The Saints promptly turned in a bone-crunching defensive display to win 17-14.

Learned lesson of the month: Say what you like about Davids Gold and Sullivan. I, like Simon Jordan, would happily impale them on one of their own dildos. But in granting Avram Grant a stay of execution, in which they spelled out exactly what he needed to do to keep his club, did the man a much better service than was done by the owners of Newcastle and Blackburn in dismissing Chris Hughton and Sam Allardyce respectively. 3 games, 1 win required. Big Av led West Ham unbeaten through Christmas.

Unsung hero of the month: Tim Southee. It's been a brilliant year for New Zealand in sport, not disgracing themselves at the World Cup and sweeping all-comers in the world of rugby union. The cricketers have let the side down badly, losing 4-0 in Bangladesh. They bounced back on Boxing Day in a T20 against Pakistan, with the wildly inconsistent young buck Southee the leading light, with an excellent hat-trick (only the 3rd in the international game) and figures of 5-18 (the 2nd best of all-time). He spent the rest of the series being average. Such is the frustrating nature of the lad.

Comeback of the month: John Higgins. The Wizard of Wishaw was 9-5 down in a best of 19 UK Championship final against Mark Williams. Higgins came back to win 10-9 and in doing so dragged his name back out of the dirt created by the News of the World scam (sound familiar) that saw him and his agent accused of match-fixing after meeting a shady man in the back of a Ukraine bar. OK so it wasn't in a bar but grant me some poetic license!

Duck of the month: Wladimir Klitschko. I really don't like the Klitschko brothers for a number of reasons. 1) They refuse to batter seven colours of shit out of each other, which we all want to see. 2) Vitali is a big hulking moron. 3) Wladimir is a big hulking moron who is shagging Hayden Pannettiere. Which just isn't fair. With all that in mind I will find any excuse to drive them down, because we all know David Haye will knock them both out in 2011. So the mysterious injury suffered by Wlad before his fight with Derek Chisora says to me that the guy is not as great as he'd have us all believe.

Quote of the month: 2nd Ashes Test at Adelaide on Sky Sports. Xavier Doherty bowls a full toss which Kevin Pietersen swats away for four on his way to a career high score. Michael Holding: "I saw something like that this morning at breakfast. Buffet. Help yourself." Just say it in a thick Jamaican accent.

Sporting hero of the year: I cannot really do January without reflecting on the year as a whole. The best sporting event of the year was the Ryder Cup at Celtic Manor. The hero of the hour was Graeme McDowall, sinking the winning putt for Europe as well as bagging the US Open at Pebble Beach

Sportsman I hated most in 2010: Fernando Alonso. Simply because he's a knob.

Sliding scale of the month: The Messiah Meter featuring Alan Pardew. A tough first three games in charge (Liverpool, Man City, Spurs) yielded just 3 points, but really there was nothing to be blamed on Pardew at this stage, no matter how ridiculous his appointment was.

RM

The RedZone: Regular Season Review

Week 17 featured a lot of dead rubbers, so I decided that rather than highlighting the specific individual performances from one game, I would compile a Top 5, featuring rookies who failed to make the playoffs with their teams. Here goes:

5. Joe Haden (Browns) - 64 combined tackles, 1 sack, 6 INT's, 1 FF - A first-round selection who lived up to the hype in the Browns secondary. In all honesty, Cleveland were not as bad as their 5-11 record suggests and have plenty of young players to suggest that there will be a brighter future without fired coach Eric Mangini. When Peyton Hillis is your leading rusher and receiver, you need your defense to make big plays to paper over the cracks on offense (a WR or O-Lineman high in the draft is a must). Thankfully, Haden was able to do that to an extent.

4. Jacoby Ford (Raiders) - 1280 KR yards, 3 TD's; 470 receiving yards, 2 TD's; 155 rushing yards, 2 TD's. How you go 6-0 in the division and miss the playoffs is beyond me, but then this is the Raiders we're talking about. However, an 8-8 record is an improvement and the lightning-quick Ford has developed into a big weapon on special teams - handy when you face San Diego twice a year! He also proved a deep threat for Jason Campbell, who eventually beat out Bruce Gradkowski and looks like he'll lead the franchise for the next few years.

3. LeGarrette Blount (Buccaneers) - 1007 rushing yards, 6 TD's. The new Brandon Jacobs and one of the many young Bucs (see what I did there) who have turned around the franchise's fortunes in 2010. Credit must also go to DT Gerald McCoy, WR's Arrelious Benn and Mike Williams and of course star QB Josh Freeman. But Blount gets my vote - undrafted and cut by the Titans in pre-season, he was picked up by Tampa Bay in Week 4 and showed pace and power on his way to leading all rookies in rushing yards. A potent weapon for a burgeoning offense

2. Sam Bradford (Rams) - 354/590, 3512 yards, 18 TD's, 15 INT's. Make no mistake, these are superb numbers for a rookie QB. But what impressed me most about Bradford was his leadership for such a young guy - cool in a crisis and able to pick up a team at their lowest ebb after 2009. He may not possess a rocket arm, and may not have the best mobility in the pocket but he has so much potential to develop as well as those oft-cited intangibles. He was asked to throw the ball an awful lot by Steve Spagnuolo and has come up trumps. He IS the St Louis Rams and was only denied a divisional title at the very last.

1. Ndamukong Suh (Lions) - 66 combined tackles, 10 sacks, 1 INT, 1 FF, 1 FR for a TD. Graeme and I identified the second overall draft pick as an absolute beast from the outset. Jake Delhomme was the first to feel the force as he was slammed into the turf in preseason, with many others suffering a similar fate later in the year. Along with Kyle VandenBosch, he really revitalised the defensive line in Motown (although the secondary could still use a little help) and the franchise is FINALLY moving in the right direction, if only Matthew Stafford could stay healthy.

You may remember a while back, I compiled a list of predicted records for all the teams - well here are the results. I'll add a point for every win I was over, and take one away for every win I went under and see how close to 0 I get - was I too generous or too mean in 2010?

AFC East

New England Patriots - predicted 11-5, actually 14-2. -3
New York Jets - predicted 10-6, actually 11-5. -1
Miami Dolphins - predicted 8-8, actually 7-9. +1
Buffalo Bills - predicted 4-12. Spot on!
Total score = -3 but positions correct!

AFC North

Pittsburgh Steelers - predicted 7-9, actually 12-4. -5 (ouch!)
Baltimore Ravens - predicted 12-4. Spot on!
Cleveland Browns - predicted 3-13, actually 5-11. -2
Cincinnati Bengals - predicted 10-6, actually 4-12. +6
Total score = -1 but generally miles out on this one!

AFC South

Indianapolis Colts - predicted 12-4, actually 10-6. +2
Jacksonville Jaguars - predicted 6-10, actually 8-8. -2
Houston Texans - predicted 10-6, actually 6-10. +4
Tennessee Titans - predicted 9-7, actually 6-10. +3
Total score = +7. Whoops!

AFC West

Kansas City Chiefs - predicted 5-11, actually 10-6. -5
San Diego Chargers - predicted 10-6, actually 9-7. +1
Oakland Raiders - predicted 9-7, actually 8-8. +1
Denver Broncos - predicted 8-8, actually 4-12. +4
Total score = +1. Denver surprisingly bad, KC surprisingly excellent = Ryan looking a fool

NFC East

Philadeplhia Eagles - predicted 9-7, actually 10-6. -1
New York Giants - predicted 10-6. Spot on!
Dallas Cowboys - predicted 13-3, actually 6-10. A whopping +7
Washington Redskins - predicted 8-8, actually 6-10 (Graeme got it spot on). +2
Total score = +8. Not as good a division as we thought!

NFC South

Atlanta Falcons - predicted 10-6, actually 13-3. -3
New Orleans Saints - predicted 11-5. Spot on!
Tampa Bay Buccaneers - predicted 8-8, actually 10-6. -2
Carolina Panthers - predicted 6-10, actually 2-14. +4
Total score = -1.

NFC North

Chicago Bears - predicted 7-9, actually 11-5. -4
Green Bay Packers - predicted 12-4, actually 10-6. +2
Detroit Lions - predicted 5-11, actually 6-10. -1
Minnesota Vikings - predicted 10-6, actually 6-10. +4
Total score = +1

NFC West

Seattle Seahawks - predicted 5-11, actually 7-9. -2
St Louis Rams - predicted 3-13, actually 7-9. -4
San Francisco 49ers - predicted 10-6, actually 6-10. +4
Arizona Cardinals - predicted 7-9, actually 5-11. +2
Total score = 0. At last!

Overall prediction index = +12. Way too generous. And only 4 correct records and 7/12 playoff teams. The NFL shall feel my wrath in 2011. I will do a playoffs preview on Friday
RM

Jonny Rotten Signs Off

I appreciate I'm a little bit late with this story, but then it has been Christmas and New Year and one must spend a bit of time with one's family. But the whole issue did interest me a fair bit and so I thought I'd go for it anyway!

On the face of it, a star player signing a new cotract without any of the fuss of Wayne Rooney seems a bit of a non-starter. Jonny Wilkinson has signed a contract extension with Top 14 side Toulon until 2013. Fair enough, they pay very well without the salary cap that afflicts the Aviva Premiership (so much less cooler since the sponsorship with Guinness ended). And Wilko has been in very decent form since joining them, particularly excelling in this season's Heineken Cup pool against Munster, Ospreys and London Irish. His career was beginning to stagnate at Newcastle and with England, where his unerring service both on the pitch and in rehabilitation was beginning to be cruelly underappreciated by the public, eventually forcing the hand of Martin Johnson, who dropped him from the national side. But, at Toulon, he has led the side beyond their previous capabilities whilst discovering some of his best form. He needs them as much as they need him, so an extension seemed the logical thing.

And yet. Just as Wilko may be looking a viable stand-off for England again, the RFU have come in with this ridiculous home-based rule from the 2011 World Cup onwards, meaning that those that ply their club trade outside of the UK will not be considered for national selection. So essentially, if we assume that this stance will not be relaxed, Wilkinson's international career is over. He will be 34 when his contract with Toulon runs out, and with his injury record, there is no way his body will be able to compete with the likes of the Tri-Nations sides. 2013 will probably be the end of his rugby career full stop.

However, if Jonny is enjoying a golden autumn, would it not be in England's best interests to keep him involved in the national setup, perhaps not to start every game, but to help them out with his cool head (or lack of personality depending on which side of the border you're from!) in times of crisis and mentor the younger players at the No.10 position, leading up to and after the World Cup. People forget that Toby Flood is still only 25 and needs his game to develop further to be a truly viable option in a World Cup winning side (which England aren't by the way, we'll knock them out in the group). Essentially, he lacks the poise, consistency and occasional brilliance that Wilkinson showed back in 2003 and before. Of course, he's been around Wilkinson at Newcastle for a long time, but needs to continue his apprenticeship with the man himself.

There will be other young fly-halfs emerging in the next three years as well. If the RFU cast him adrift purely for showing a bit of ambition to further himself in a challenging environment, then English rugby will suffer for it.

Happy New Year to all our Scottish rugby fans!

RM

PS The "Jonny Rotten" mentioned in the title is not suggestive of Wilko's personal greed, just a blogger who stil hasn't got over 2003!

Home and Away - The Ashes Tour: The Boxing Day Test

It's the greatest Christmas present a fan of English cricket could ever wish for. Not only did England retain the Ashes at Melbourne, they did it by obliterating the Australians out of sight, effectively ending the career of Ricky Ponting, who will now miss the final test at Sydney with that nagging broken finger sustained in Perth. The first successful campaign Down Under for 24 years and the boys celebrated in style with a little Sprinkler and apparently a few dozen Jagerbombs. It turns out that all cricket teams at all levels celebrate any success in exactly the same way! Here's how the test panned out:

4th Test (Melbourne) - England 513 (Trott 168*, Prior 85, Cook 82, Strauss 69, Pietersen 51, Siddle 6-75) beat Australia 98 (Tremlett 4-26, Anderson 4-44) and 258 (Haddin 55*, Watson 54, Bresnan 4-50) by an innings and 157 runs. Lead the series 2-1 and retain the Ashes

So we all settled down on Christmas night for the most anticipated Boxing Day Ashes Test for a generation. Australia had gambled in preparing a green-tinged wicket to suit their bowling attack early on. And then lost the toss. England made their own gamble in leaving out Steven Finn, the leading wicket-taker in the series up to this point, for Tim Bresnan, who would be more likely to keep things tight and swing the ball. My opinion on Bresnan is that he is perfectly suited to cricket, what with his wide arse-base, but he lacks consistent penetration to be considered a serious threat at Test level. However, I believe he proved me wrong in this game. He did indeed find a nice rhythm and a touch of away movement, but then also managed to reverse swing the ball along with Jimmy Anderson to keep the batsmen, who played several stupid shots against him, honest. Which when you're facing such a fragile lineup is all you need to do.

There's nothing more really to add to the Australian batting performance. In the first innings, all of the wickets were taken behind the stumps, including six for the increasingly useful Matt Prior. This is a combination of decent English bowling in a good channel, but really the Aussies chased so many wide ones to get themselves out, particularly Brad Haddin who looked so frenetic in trying to hit his side out of trouble. So let us instead focus upon the magnificence that is Jonathan Trott. And by magnificent, I don't mean the spectacle of his batting - it is his sheer resolve, determination and desire not to get out that sets him apart from his teammates. He is the best batsman in the side just now. Any questions posed last winter in South Africa about his mental fortitude have been blown out of the water. And I defy anyone who claim he hasn't really got a shot in him. He may lack the elegance of Strauss or the flamboyance of Pietersen, but his cover drive and flick off the pads are both a pleasure to watch when he gets going. And he generally allows others to play around him, which means the viewer can still enjoy the cricket, if not necessarily his innings!

Despite Paul Collingwood's horror run continuing, England are unlikely to make a change for the final test. Usman Khawaja and Michael Beer should both make their debuts, for Ponting and Ben Hilfenhaus, the latter change owing to the need for a spinner on the SCG track. England will want to win the series, so expect so let up and probably another victory - who would you back on a spinning pitch? Graeme Swann or Michael Beer? Exactly!

RM