BBC Sports Personality 2010 - The BtC Lowdown

The BBC SPOTY has become very much an emotional award over the past few years, rewarding those who have given great service to their sport over a long period of time, rather than actually achieving individual greatness. The exception is of course during Olympic Years (Sir Chris Hoy, Kelly Holmes) but otherwise we are left with the likes of Ryan Giggs and Zara Phillips. Then there is the nomination of an emotionally drained Darren Clarke a couple of years back, as well as Andrew Flintoff's win back in 2005 - if he had performed beyond what he achieved in that Ashes series and England had still lost he wouldn't have been near the shortlist. So trivialised has it become that the shortlist was unveiled on The One Show by a grinning Matt Allwright, clearly delighted to be allowed off Channel Five for a change! It needs to get down to some serious sporting credentials. Which is where Beyond the Cliche's cold and cynical attitude comes into play:

Mark Cavendish - I'm not a cycling expert but I know that the peak of the sport is the Tour de France. Now, Cavendish managed to win five stages this year, which probably makes him the most successful British sprinter of all time. Did he win the green jersey? No. Close but no cigar - probably where he'll end up in SPOTY, although not many of the nominees can lay claim to being the best Brit ever in their sport. Mind you he's from the Isle of Man, who'll probably want independence some time soon. Did win the inferior Tour of Spain, probably a similar consolation to when England beat Bulgaria after the World Cup.

Tom Daley - a so-called ambassador for my hometown of Plymouth. My dad has even met him, saying he's a "lovely young man". However, the bully boys got to him at the fearsome Eggbuckland Commuinty College, so he moved to a private, "better" school in the area. Where I know the bullying is far worse, so good luck with that. Daley's 2010 featured injuries followed by 2 gold medals in the Commonwealth Games. Whilst it's an achievement to beat the Aussies, there's still no Chinese competition, so the field is not at it's strongest. Plus, no-one watched the Commonwealth Games, so he's likely to slip under the radar for the time being.

Jessica Ennis - look, I'll be watching SPOTY just to see how well Ennis scrubs up. It's just a pity that Victoria Pendleton's had a quiet year. And a relief that Rebecca Adlington has as well. Ennis won European gold in the heptathlon, a fair achievement when she was up against the Olympic champion. In fact, most good multi-discipline eventers are European, so Ennis' dominance of the sport recently is impressive. I would rate her highly, but to win SPOTY from athletics, you really have to be noticed. The European Champs are not that platform.

David Haye - boxers always do well at SPOTY, but to be honest, I can't help but be unimpressed with Haye's year. All he's done is mouth off a lot and then knock out two clearly inferior opponents to retain his WBA Heavyweight Title. Although we can all be thankful for the fact that he's taken Audley Harrison out of the public eye (STOP PRESS - Harrison is now saying he will continue fighting - moron!). Until he finally calls out a Klitschko and dispatches of them in the way that the Ukranian cloggers deserve (they take on weaker fighters than both Harrison and John Ruiz), he, to my mind, cannot be a contender. But he'll probably be in the Top 3.

AP McCoy - a clear early front-runner. Which is why I'm about to piss on that particular bonfire. Here stands the emotional choice of which I was talking in my introduction. Yes, he broke his 15-year duck in the Grand National on Don't Push It. Yes, he went past the 3000 winners mark. Congratulations and all that. BUT - there was nothing in particular about his 2010 as a whole that makes him more outstanding than the other nominees. You don't see every National winner nominated for SPOTY. You don't see Paul Hanagan, a jockey who came from nowhere to become the Champion, on this year's shortlist, despite his greater consistency this calendar year. Yet the great McCoy stands a great chance. He won't get my vote.

Graeme McDowall - Now here is a man who has had a great year, and certainly one of my Top 3. To come from seemingly nowhere to win the US Open at Pebble Beach and become the first Brit in 11 years to win a major is an achievement enough. To then back it up with the winning putt at No.12 in the Ryder Cup at Celtic Manor was a fairytale, particularly as it seemed like Europe were going to throw it away right at the very end as the USA clawed their deficit back. McDowall is now a Top 10 player and a star of the European Tour.

Graeme Swann - It's an ill-disguised fact that I love Swanny. He's made finger spin bowling fashionable and cool again. He's been part of the successful World T20 squad, England's first triumph in a global cricketing event. He's been the key man against Bangladesh and Pakistan this summer. He's now the No.2 Test bowler in the world and he's done it all with humility, a smile and an amusing Twitter account. The fact that two years ago he was nothing more than a jobbing county player makes his ascension all the more amazing. How he fares in SPOTY depends on how England go in the next 2 Ashes Tests before the ceremony. If they're leading, you can guarantee Swann will be Top 3.

Phil Taylor - Really? Yes, he's done really well but he's actually won everything before! 2010 was nothing special by The Power's standards, merely another good day at the office. And I'll shut this blog down if a darts player is ever considered enough of a "Sports Personality" to win the crown.

Lee Westwood - another star of the Ryder Cup, albeit one who I feel is less deserving of SPOTY than McDowall. Like Cavendish, Westwood has achieved great things and is now the man at the top of his sport, but when things have got really tough and really momentous, has fallen just short. Runners-up spots at the Open and the Masters will testify to that. He may also now be World No.1, a great achievement, but is mostly down to Tiger Woods' imploding personal life. Has also spent large chunks of the year injured.

Amy Williams - Ah, so it is an Olympic year after all. Therefore, she should be a shoe-in for SPOTY having won Team GB's first individual gold since Robin Cousins. Oh, it's the Winter Olympics. The point at which all but the upper-middle class switch off, and that's only because they once skiied at Whistler and can do the luge better than the entire nation of Georgia. This doesn't make Williams undeserving, it just means her chances in SPOTY are zero.

If I had it my way I would have a Top 3 of McDowall, Williams and Cavendish in that order. Dream on Ryan!
RM

Home and Away - The Ashes Tour: 1st Test

So, here it is, the first test of the much anticipated 2010-11 Ashes series is over. And we're exactly where we started five days ago after a drawn match - however, one team will certainly be the happier and it sure as hell isn't the hosts! Here's the scoreboard with day-by-day analysis as I called it:

1st Test (Brisbane) - England 260 (Bell 76, Cook 67, Siddle 6-54) and 517-1d (Cook 235*, Trott 135*, Strauss 110) drew with Australia 481 (Hussey 195, Haddin 136, Katich 50, Finn 6-125) and 107-1 (Ponting 51*)

1. Australia close first innings on 25-0. I've pretty much already discussed this day's play in a previous post. However, to recap the main points: Siddle succeeded where his teammates failed because he pitched it up - his hat-trick was excellent but in general, England will be very disappointed that they gave so many wickets away. Cook grafted, Bell and Pietersen looked fluent but nobody was able to get the big score that this track suggested would be possible. Aus 1 Eng 0


2. Australia close first innings on 220-5. A day which swung back and forth started with England looking equally toothless with the ball and with the Aussie batsmen looking decidedly more solid than their counterparts. Then came the collapse from 78-0 to 143-5. Michael Clarke in particular looked in horrific touch. Anderson looked the chief wrecker, somehow finding movement with an older Kookaburra ball and generally finding a fuller length than both Finn and Broad who prefer to use their height to good effect. Finn's catch to remove the effective but ungainly Katich was outstanding for a man of his height - he seems to bowl well in spells but can otherwise be innocuous. Swann's length was far too short and allowed Haddin and Hussey to attack him late in the day - he can't get away with the length he crafted from years on the county circuit on bouncier Australian tracks. Aus 1.5 Eng 0.5


3. England close second innings 19-0. After a horrendous first hour, where the UDRS and the lack of England reviews came to Mike Hussey's rescue, he and Brad Haddin dug in to record a massive partnership full of flamboyant strokemaking. Hussey has now probably saved his Test career. Anderson was so unlucky in the morning - moving the second new ball all over the place in the perfect areas to take wickets, but to no avail on this occasion. Figures of 2-99 were frankly insulting! Instead it was Finn who eventually came through, again having bowled some average stuff on which Hussey and Haddin pounced, eventually varying between full and short deliveries, taking away the predictability factor that had previously dogged him in this innings. Australia then folded again from 450-5 to 481 all out. Without the 6th wicket stand, they'd have been nowhere in this match. Does this suggest a frailty? To be honest it's something that has long been suspected of this group of players. Aus 2.5 Eng 0.5


4. England close second innings 309-1. It appears crucial that Strauss and Cook survived 15 overs the previous day, as it allowed them to bat with relative freedom as anything that was in the pitch for the bowlers died out. Strauss may have been the man to fall but was clearly the more fluent of the two, finding timing, whereas Cook had moments of struggle. Mitchell Johnson's drop off Cook was poor in the extreme and was made to pay for his error - I'd expect most of my team to take that particular chance if nothing else! Cook took the more aggressive role as Jonathan Trott came in and looked considerably more watchful than his frenetic first innings. Cook particularly targetted debutant spinner Xavier Doherty, who looked innocuous here and appears fairly easy to negotiate. Aus 2.5 Eng 1.5


5. Australia close second innings 107-1. Game over. More of the same for the Aussies, who were well and truly put to the sword and England turned a seemingly hopeless situation around to save the game, albeit not as dramatically as in Cardiff in 2009! Trott and Cook both played to their strengths in piling on the runs and were helped by distinctly average bowling from the hapless Mitchell Johnson in particular. It's just a shame that England declared early, allowing Ricky Ponting to find a little bit of form ahead of a batsman's paradise in Adelaide. Broad's dismissal of Katich was reward for a lot of toil in the heat. Aus 2.5 Eng 2.5 - the draw a very fair result.

I'd expect one change for the Adelaide match, with Johnson making way for fellow left-armer Doug Bollinger. England should remain unchanged, but will hope their bowlers find more breakthroughs on a typically flat pitch, although the curator claims to have produced a result wicket.

In other world cricket news - the Test series between South Africa and India will not make use of the Umpire Decision Review System (UDRS). Why? Because the Indians simply don't like it, having failed to get to grips with it in Sri Lanka in 2008. I find this pretty distasteful that the betterment of the game can be held back by the choice of an individual, in this case the all-powerful BCCI. The ICC has introduced the UDRS for the World Cup next year - it is clear that they see it as the way forward. Which is why they should for once stand up to the Indian Board and, rather than making it a series-by-series choice, implement it across the board in Test match cricket with no opt-out available.

RM

The RedZone: Week 12 in the NFL

Ryan's Top 5

5. Brian Westbrook - 23 carries, 136 yards, 1 TD. The man of many concussions has really been underused by the 49ers this year, mostly appearing on 3rd and short situations. However, despite the former Philadelphia star was needed on Monday night as Frank Gore's season was ended by a cracked hip. Westbrook promptly ran all over the hapless Cardinals defense as San Francisco improved to 4-7 with a 27-6 victory, a competetive record in the NFC West, currently led by the Rams of all people!

4. Chad Henne - 17/30, 307 yards, 2 TD's, 1 INT. Henne's had it pretty rough this year. One of the more inconsistent QB's in the league right now, it looked as though his season was ended by a knee injury. Tyler Thigpen struggled against the Bears as the offense were shut out in Week 11, so Henne's return, with Chad Pennington on IR, was crucial for the Dolphins. Thankfully for them, he had one of his better days as he led his side to a 33-17 win over the Raiders.

3. Dwayne Bowe - 13 catches, 170 yards, 3 TD's. The man responsible for making Matt Cassel's numbers look good in 2010. Bowe now has 13 TD's in the last 7 games, with at least one score in each of those matchups. A big, physical receiver who has put previous attitude problems behind them, Bowe deserves a trip to the playoffs and Hawaii. The Chiefs ran out 42-24 winners over the Seahawks.

2. Glover Quin - 3 tackles, 1 assist, 3 INT's. Another man who, like Henne, has bounced back from a tough couple of weeks. Quin is probably the most maligned of the worst secondary in the NFL, giving up the crucial scores in the previous two games. However, with the Titans' fielding rookie QB Rusty Smith, Quin led the Texans defence to a 20-0 shutout. Shame his contribution was all but forgotten once Andre Johnson decided to land one on Cortland Finnegan.

1. Tom Brady - 21/27, 341 yards, 4 TD's. I know it's a very obvious joke, but the Patriots can certainly be Thankful that they have Brady. For most of the first half, it looked as though they were in a real game with a scrapping Detroit outfit, who really have deserved better than 2-9 so far this season. However, Brady, with a supposedly depleted receiving unit since Randy Moss left and a supposedly ageing side in general, rallied the troops in the second half in a 45-24 win, allowing them to keep pace with the supposedly (but not actually) superior Jets.

Graeme's Top 5

5. The Chargers' Linebackers - 19 tackles, 1 sack, 2 INT's between them - Peyton Manning was once again made to rue his mistakes as San Diego continues its infuriating run of playing really well in the midseason, but only because they lost all their opening games and are under pressure. This team has a serious problem with starting the season. It does not, however, have a problem with its linbackers. Shawn Merriman is a distant memory, and they are proving that he was surplus to requirements. Against the Colts, the LBs shut down the Indy short passing game and their screen passes and draw runs, leaving Manning little option other than to toss it up there.

4. Ryan Fitzpatrick - 23/45, 265 yards, 1 TD - It is safe to say that almost all NFL players are more athletic than I am (thank god for punters). Fitzpatrick, though, is a Harvard grad as well as an NFL QB, and thus may be more intelligent than me as well. He probably isn't, but he is certainly a 'gamer'. This Bills team just looks so much more effective with him at the helm. He is quite simply a good football player. Unlucky to lose to the Steelers this week; they would have won (and deservedly so) if Steve Johnson could have reeled in Fitzpatrick's OT deep shot.

3. Mike Martz, Bears OC - Cutler 14/21, 4 TD's and no INT's, Forte 114 yards rushing - Martz has finally saw some sense and stopped exposing Cutler to so many shots. He found a way to exploit the speed of his recievers against the Eagles without having Cutler sitting in the pocket waiting to be sacked. The ball was spread about the field, the running game complemented things well and Jay C executed things to perfection.

2. Dwayne Bowe - 13 catches, 170 yards, 3 TD's - Holder of the Chiefs franchise record for consecutive games with a TD, and now with 14 TD's on the season. He is a big man with remarkable body control, and he can muscle his way open much like Andre Johnson does. Further confirmation that the tall, strong modern WR is almost unstoppable.

1. Sam Bradford - 22/37, 308 yards, 3 TD's - I love Sam. I have a major bromance for Sam. This week he got his first road win and his first 300 yard game, against a Bronco's team that showed it still has some fight after thrashing Kansas City at Mile High earlier this year. Look at the recievers Bradford has to work with, and realise how brilliant this bloke is. If the Rams can continue to draft well, then they could ultimately become a team much like the New England Patriots have been. Namely, good.

GM and RM

Home and Away - The Ashes Tour: Test 1, Day 1 - A Fan's Perspective

OK, so not quite the live blog I promised, I had too many guests to entertain but instead, a taste of what it felt like to be a Scottish England fan watching the Test match through the night with his teammates. It's really not as dull as it sounds!

I was pretty convinced things couldn't have got much worse after being made to suffer the Rangers vs Man United match in the Champions League. Arriving back from Domino's (or indeed any other pizza takeaway chain) just in time for the toss, the optimism felt by every England fan for the last few weeks was palpable. Mainly because any Edinburgh University cricketer is a posh Englishman. Except me, it seems! We all felt it was a good toss to lose. So England promptly won it and batted. The first over has meant so much in recent times. The first ball was uneventfully left by Strauss, as was the second. Then Ben Hilfenhaus pitched one short and wide and the England skipper's eyes lit up as he unfurled his favourite cut shot. And whacked it straight to gully. "That's huge" said one of the lads. And he was right. After their meticulous preparation, England were instantly on the back foot in the main event.

The first session was fairly uneventful. Jonathan Trott came out and was uncharacteristically willing to play his shots. Which is why he wafted at a Shane Watson delivery, one of the few he bowled at the stumps, leaving a massive gate through which he was cleaned up. Fortunately we had homemade Snakebite to go with our pizzas and 20 packets of Monster Munch so 86-2 at the lunch interval didn't seem as bad as it could have done. At which point I realised that any more alcohol would make the tea break an impossibility. So I started on the Tunnock's Teacakes and cuppas as our numbers began to dwindle until five hardcore lads remained at around 3:45am. Pietersen, having looked in great touch and having taken the left-arm debutant spinner Xavier Doherty to town, he got out in the 40s, with Collingwood following soon after.

At tea, a couple of the lads decided a power nap was the best way forward. The rest of us thought the widespread distribution of a photo taken earlier in the night of our latent homosexual member, doctored by wonderful iPhone technology to make him look obese. The response has largely been positive thus far. The evening session started with the Aussie bowlers sticking to a strategy of bowling wide of off-stump so Cook and Bell wouldn't bother to engage with it. Until Ricky Ponting brought back birthday boy Peter Siddle. Who promptly pitched the ball up and lo and behold had taken the first Test hat-trick in three years. Caught slip, bowled, lbw (the latter of which I predicted in advance). It doesn't get much better than that. Unless it's 5:50 am and England have just collapsed to 197-7. So I went to bed, unable to stomach any more disappointment.

The other lads toughed it out until the end, but, having seen ITV 4's surprisingly good highlights package, I missed nothing save for a superb Jimmy Anderson reverse sweep.

I had England losing this first test and then going on to claim the series 3-1. So things are going to plan thus far. Well played lads... NAT!
RM

The RedZone: Week 11 in the NFL

Ryan's Top 5

5. Clay Matthews III - 5 tackles, 1 sack. 'Bloodline' hasn't given enough credit for his sterling work for the Packers this season. It wasn't Aaron Rodgers and Greg Jennings who put the final nail in the coffin of Brett Favre, it was Matthews. It's fitting that the league's sack leader will probably be the last man to sack No.4. The offense took care of Vikings coach Brad Childress and the result, a 31-3 romp on the road.

4. Maurice Jones-Drew - 23 carries, 133 yards, 1 TD; 3 catches, 87 yards. Who had the Jaguars leading the AFC South at 6-4? The answer is nobody. MJD may have been fairly below par for much of the season, but has come to life in the last couple of games, giving David Garrard a get-out clause on those days, like in the 24-20 win over the continually tricky Browns, when he's not quite up to scratch.

3. The Redskins' banged-up secondary - Phillip Buchanon - 6 tackles, 1 INT; Reed Doughty - 5 tackles, 2 assists. Shorn of Carlos Rogers and LaRon Landry (who genuinely could be an All-Pro contender), the Redskins secondary reflected much of their season - ruined by injuries. However, they still managed to keep Chris Johnson et al scoreless, the only TD for the Titans coming from special teams. They also knocked Vince Young out for the year, and possibly out of the franchise, as they eventually prevailed 19-16 in OT.

2. Ben Roethlisberger - 18/29, 275 yards, 3 TD's; 3 carries, 55 yards, 1 TD. Questions had been asked of the Steelers since Big Ben's return as to whether they were actually as good as they initially appeared in 2010. Some believed that the Oakland Raiders would continue their recent run and turn them over. Pittsburgh had none of it, as they were blown away in all facets of the game. Big Ben even appeared graceful on his feet with a 16-yard TD run as well as a further 31-yard scramble. James Harrison and the defense made sure of the win, as the Steelers cruised to a 35-3 success. And, in Mike Wallace and Rashard Mendenhall, they have two have the best young offensive weapons in the league.

1. Steve Johnson - 8 catches, 137 yards, 3 TD's. Steve who? The Bengals once again lived up to the 'Bungles' tag which has plagued them for so long, as they gave up a 31-14 lead at the half to get beaten 49-31 by the Bills, of all people. To be fair Buffalo have looked a different side since Ryan Fitzpatrick took over from Trent Edwards - Fitzpatrick threw 4 TD's on the day, three of which fell to 3rd year pro Johnson, previously unheralded within an already poor offense.

Home and Away - the Ashes Tour: Week 4

For those of you who regularly follow Beyond the Cliche (you must be out there somewhere), apologies for delaying this post by a day. The reason being I wanted to have the result of the final warm-up match in the bag before writing this up, mainly so I could focus solely on the Test matches themselves from hereon in. Without further ado, let's see how England are shaping up for Thursday's big kick-off:

England 288-8d (Collingwood 94, Bell 61) and 240-1d (Cook 111*, Strauss 102) drew with South Australia 221 (Swann 4-68) and 48-2. OK, so England weren't able to force a result on this occasion but to be fair, they did have only three days on a flat Adelaide surface and clearly had the better of proceedings. Only Trott and Prior have failed to score a 50 in the top 8 and all of the bowlers are looking in fine form, finding ways to take wickets on very different surfaces to what they have become used to (only Jimmy Anderson, impressive here with 5 wickets in the match has toured Australia before and that was a chastening experience!). The frontline bowlers were then sent off to Brisbane to acclimitise ahead of the 1st Test and the back-ups were given a shot for the final game.

England 523 (Bell 192, Collingwood 89, Cook 60, O'Keefe 4-88) and 11-0 beat Australia A 230 (O'Keefe 66, Smith 59, Tremlett 4-54) and 301 (White 111, Hughes 81, Bresnan 4-86) by 10 wickets. An impressive performance and a good toss to win, as the Hobart track started off green and ended up flattening over the four days. Both Chris Tremlett and Tim Bresnan showed that they can be capable deputies should injury strike the frontliners. Back-up spinner Monty Panesar also showed how far his game has progressed with an amazing catch to dismiss Ed Cowan on the first day. Bell looked magnificent, although possibly wasted at No. 6 in the order. If Jonathan Trott's poor form continues, he might just be bumped back up to 3, as he was on the last tour, with reasonable if unrecognised success.

So let's now look at the bowling attack:

Stuart Broad (RA fast, LH bat) - the new Flintoff? Maybe if his bowling finds more sustained hostility. Relies on the short ball, which should serve him well in Australian conditions. The hero of the Oval in 2009, has also found some batting form with a wonderful century against Pakistan. Father Chris was man-of-the-series last time England won Down Under in 86-87.

Graeme Swann (RA off-spin, RH bat) - the man with the X Factor. The best England spinner since Derek Underwood has superb character and a great cricketing brain. The big turning off-breaks and subtle arm balls are well disguised and mixed up and he's already found form on this tour. He is also a complete lad. More on that later.

James Anderson (RA fast swing, LH bat) - having been almost ruined four years ago by the Aussies, Jimmy has been on an upward spiral ever since. At his best when there is plenty of lateral movement, which he won't find in Oz, but has at least found ways to keep it tight and pick up wickets in all circumstances.

Steven Finn (RA fast, RH bat) - the young buck of the bowling unit, Finn has had a great start to his Test career and hits the deck hard, so the pitches should suit him. Has the tendency to tire quickly and bowl some average spells but will improve with time. This tour may be a little early for him, but he'll have a great career.

Tim Bresnan (RA fast-medium, RH bat) - the man most likely to step in. Quicker than you'd expect, gets a little bit of movement and can bat effectively at No.8. Fitness may be a concern

Chris Tremlett (RA fast, RH bat) - toured last time in limited overs, played 3 Tests against India and did fine, not considered since. Had a magnificent season at Surrey, where he dispelled rumours that he was a soft touch. Will step up if Finn begins to struggle.

Ajmal Shahzad (RA fast, RH bat) - here more for the experience, but I like the look of this guy. Gets reverse swing in the style of Simon Jones.

Monty Panesar (SLA, LH bat) - criticised for lack of variation, but has won several games for England in the past. A hero of Cardiff last year when he kept North and Hauritz out with Anderson for a draw.

The Aussies have selected their 13-man squad for the First Test, which lines up as follows: Watson, Katich, Ponting, Clarke, North, Hussey, Smith, Haddin, Siddle, Johnson, Bollinger, Hilfenhaus, Doherty. Nathan Hauritz may feel aggrieved at being left out instead of debutant Xavier Doherty, but the selectors are clearly trying to exploit Kevin Pietersen's weakness against left-arm spinners. Plus I feel Doherty will get more control over the batsmen, allowing the pacemen to open up. North and Hussey are under pressure to make runs, but Usman Khawaja and Callum Ferguson didn't do enough in the Australia A match to force their selection.

England's "Top Bloke" of the Week: Graeme Swann. Ian Bell has been the star man with the bat, but Swann has adapted beautifully to conditions to find early success in the tour matches. He has also lifted morale with his ECB-approved tour diary. I actuall brought out The Sprinkler myself in a club the other night. LAD (him, not me!)

http://www.ecb.co.uk/news/england/england-in-australia-2010-11/swannys-ashes-video-diary/

I will hopefully bash out a live blog from the first night of the Ashes. Provided I don't get too drunk
RM

England's Unfriendly Attitude Smacks of Convenience

I'm not in a position to give a detailed analysis of England's friendly match with the French at Wembley this week, mainly because I watched the game in a bar, turning the match into a drinking game that involved Jagerbombs. Which never ends well. Nevertheless, much like my body the following morning, the backlash from the English media has been truly terrible. There have been various outcries with such soundbites as "We should no longer be playing international friendlies" and "These matches are wasted exercises". Let me correct both of those statements here and now. England should still play friendly matches, but they should prepare properly for them and there should be allotted time set aside for around two a season within the domestic calendar. And international friendlies have the potential to not be a wasted exercise - England just do not take the opportunity to use them properly.

The truth is ugly - England were found out for what they are - an average at best international side, who have wasted a generation and are now left with a dearth of talent, both on and off the field, to take them forward. Had we witnessed a game where England had played their opponents off the greasy Wembley pitch, unearthing new stars such as Andy Carroll and Jordan Henderson, we would be talking of how bright the future looks. And also how wonderful it was to have the opportunity to blood these youngsters in a non-competetive environment before the crunchtime encounters against such Euro 2012 powerhouses as Wales and Bulgaria. The fact is, despite being amongst the best young English talent in the Premier League right now, both Carroll and Henderson haven't got the game as yet to compete with the very best international players. Compare them to Michael Owen, Steven Gerrard and Wayne Rooney at the same age, and you realise that England's chances of righting the now innumerable "years of hurt" are slim for the forseeable future.

Then there is the issue of Gerrard's hamstring. The fact that he played longer than was originally agreed with Liverpool is understandably irksome for his club. However, with experienced campaigners dropping around him during the game, Capello actually asked Gerrard if it was OK if he continued. He agreed. The player took matters into his own hands and I actually credit him for that. At the end of the day, club football is essentially a job, one which can be changed if desired. Unless your name is Kevin Pietersen, you cannot change your identity - your nationality is part of who you are. In a week where the country has got hysterical over the way Remembrance Day was celebrated and the prospect of a royal wedding, you would think there would be a little more patriotism in the club vs country row. Never mind that it was a non-competetive match, Gerrard was representing his country, and he knew it. His role as an experienced campaigner was to allow the younger players to settle into the occasion and show what they're made of at the highest level. It's just a pity it didn't work!

In summary: international friendlies can be the making or breaking of a team. For France, they looked to be identifying the men to take them forward under Laurent Blanc, after their disastrous World Cup. England have much more to ponder and sadly are looking at more years of decline, with few genuine prospects coming through the ranks.

For that, they must blame themselves, rather than the international calendar.
RM

Prince is a Marriage Made in Heaven

Yes, the title of this piece alludes to the upcoming pomp and extreme cost of a royal wedding to distract the shortsighted amongst us from the disintegration of everything the government should be safeguarding. But don't worry readers, there will be no more mention of such things on Beyond the Cliche save my personal view that Prince William is doing well for himself; Miss Middleton, I would. And at least you wouldn't get semi-inbred children out of it.

(Is it now treason to say things like that?)

No, the title in fact refers to a sporting prince. The very epitome of a boxing character, Prince Naseem Hamed is now back on our radar. In an interview with the BBC, Prince has talked of his new managerial intentions and also commented on the state of modern boxing.

Sadly, I can't put the video up directly so here is the link:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/boxing/9207302.stm

A man of much talk, it was often dificult to work out what Prince the boxer was passionate about. Was it his sport, or the money, or the attatched fame and lifestyle?

His actions during the 90's, when he was at the peak of his powers and very much in the public eye, certainly suggested that the temptations of celebrity were his main driving force. And his subsequent problems with various managers and time spent in prison seemed to mark the end for the Prince, back to having to answer merely to Naseem.

But Prince seems to have found a new kingdom. His words now ring out with a passion renewed. He has a clear vision for where he wants boxing to take him, and what he wants to bring to the sport himself. He wants to be back in the game.

He is already committed to managing at least one of the Commonwealth Games medal winners, the promising Scot light heavyweight Callum Johnson, and he has his sights set on expanding his fledgling managerial horizons.

And his opinions on boxing today are passionate and completely right in my opinion. Prince clearly wants to try and fix things, to bring excitement back to boxing and to rekindle public interest. He also seems to want to do it the right way, recognising the importance of developing the country's young talent and wanting to set up his own academy style setup.

A man that was perhaps difficult to interpret and hard to like in the past, Prince Naseem now seems to be on a clear path, one that will benefit British boxing in the years to come. You cannot help but admire that.


GM

The RedZone: Week 10 in the NFL

Apologies for the lack of productivity this week - I've had exams and Graeme has been in the high court... working, obviously! With Week 10 being so full of top-drawer performances, this is the perfect opportunity for us to get back on the horse:

Ryan's Top 5

5. Patrick Willis - 8 tackles, 3 assists, 1 sack, 1 FF. The 49ers are finally beginning to turn their season around, thanks to a combination of their big names (Willis and Frank Gore) and an unlikely hero under centre (Troy Smith, succeeding where namesake Alex continually failed). Facing a resurgant St Louis Rams side, Willis had to marshall the defence, whilst staying at the top of his own game. Sam Bradford threw the ball 42 times, Steven Jackson played like a wrecking ball and yet the 49ers still came away with a 23-20 OT triumph and are two games off the lead in the NFC West. Don't write them off.

4. Santonio Holmes - 5 catches, 76 yards, 1 game-winning TD. Guys like Holmes are special for their sense of occasion. A Superbowl MVP knows when to step up and make a play. His first TD for his new franchise, the Jets, was enough to see his side past a battling Browns outfit 26-20 in OT, with just seconds left until a rare NFL tie. This 37-yard catch was neither a hail mary nor a spectacular long bomb from Mark Sanchez - it was a quick dump off and Holmes did the rest. After missing the early season with a ban, he's back and here to play some serious football.

3. Paul Posluszny - 11 tackles, 2 assists. The Bills have won a game! Yes, their opponents were a travelling Detroit, but no matter. Fred Jackson will be remembered as the hero of the hour for his 2 TD's, but it's hard to forget the effort that Posluszny and his defence put into this one. The Lions are renowned more offensively, even with Stafford again nursing a hurt shoulder. They barely troubled the scoreboard as Buffalo finally got over the line 14-12, despite a late scare where Shaun Hill overthrew what would have been a game-tying two point conversion.

2. Roddy White - 12 catches, 138 yards, 2 TD's. There is no doubt that the Falcons are a genuine Superbowl contender and that White is now one of the very best receivers in the game. Matt Ryan improved to 18-1 in the Georgia Dome, seeing off a confident Ravens side 26-21. White managed to bust so many Baltimore coverages through the game and it was his 33-yard grab late on that sealed the Atlanta victory.

1. Michael Vick - 20/28, 333 yards, 4 TD's; 8 carries, 80 yards, 2 TD's. A few years ago, sat in a jail cell, Michael Vick would never have dared dream he may one day be a viable candidate for the NFL's MVP. But the reality is that he would deserve it. He is still to throw an interception this season, even with a frankly crap O-Line in front of him. Only one man could make good of that line! The Eagles destroyed the Redskins, who weren't even that bad in a 59-28 defeat, mainly because the right QB was on the field throughout this week! A massive game against the Giants looms next week for Philly - the winner will be well fancied in the post-season.

Graeme's Top 5

Firstly, Michael Vick was clearly the best performing player this week but as Ryan has already summed up his stats, and because he humiliated my Redskins in putting them up, I'll pick some different players for the sake of variety. I will say, though, that Vick is playing at a higher level (as an actual quarterback instead of an occasional deep-ball throwing sprinter) than he ever did with the Falcons. Irrespective of his new-found direction in life, or his new coaches, this suggests that his previous boss with the Falcons Jim Mora Jr. did one hell of a bad job of maximising his talent...

5. Rob Gronkowski - 5 catches, 79 yards, 3 TD's - This is as much a tribute to New England's coaches and their ability to utilise their players. They fleeced the Vikings in giving them Randy Moss, and they have simply adapted their offense to compensate for his absence. Basically, they are leaning even more on Wes Welker and the short passing game (if that were possible) and using Grondkowski as the big endzone target. A player I liked the look of in the run up to this years draft, the big former University of Arizona tight end could be the new Jason Witten. He can sprint away from any linebacker and blocks with the strength of a grizzly bear.

4. The Bears' D Line - allowed Minnesota 70 yards rushing, pressured Favre into 3 INT's - Chicago is a wierd team. They look like at any minute they might fall apart, and there are so many parts of their team that raise doubt in your mind. And yet, they are now tied for the NFC North lead and have effectively deposed the Vikings in the process. Adrian Peterson couldn't get going, and Brett got hit a lot. The addition of Julius Peppers has added so much to this unit, whether it shows on the gameday stats sheet or not. The other end, Israel Idonije, is just naturally gifted; a superb motor and great practical strength (as opposed to fairly useless, Combine bench press strength. Cough, Brian Cushing).

3. Bengals D - gave up only 70 rushing and 180 passing yards versus the Colts, prevented Peyton Manning from throwing a TD - And yet, still lost. The Cinncinati defensive effort this weekend was much more like last years impressive form than this seasons dreadful implosion. Old warhorse Dhani Jones at Mike linebacker and newcomer cornerback Rico Murray stood out. The defensive side of the ball cannot be blamed in any way for this loss. It all came down to terrible play from QB Carson Palmer, who has lost all the great stuff that he once had. I used to really like him, and there was a time when he was the third best QB in the league. Now, there is only his philanthropy and charity work to admire. RIP Carson, we still don't really know which of your numerous injuries put paid to your throwing arm and career.

2. Matt Hasselbeck - 22/34, 333 yards, 1 TD - Considering he has been battered about behind an injury hit and generally awful O-line, and has been doubted and at one stage benched in favour of Charlie Whitehurst and his ridiculous Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers style hair, Hasselbeck's best performance of the year was against the Cards (sorry, awful pun). Seattle, in their West Coast offense, used to rely on him to gain the yards that most teams use their running game for. It seems that Pete Carroll, who has tried to change things and utilise his own modified West Coast scheme from his USC days, has found out that Hasselbeck is more successful when in the previous offensive system. It got them to the Superbowl after all.

1. All the Denver linemen (I have just decided that if I ever start a band, it will definately be called "All The Denver Linemen") - pounded Kansas City to crap - Not much more to be said here really! The Chiefs did not 'play to win the game', the Broncos certainly did. The Kansas rushing attack, the backbone of their success this year, was completely dominated by the Denver front 7, and Kyle Orton cruised to a 4 TD day behind his O-line. Hell, even Tim Tebow scored twice.

GM and RM

Home and Away - The Ashes Tour: Week 3

I really envy professional cricketers. I've just had an exam and it's freezing cold. Instead, if I was a little bit better, I could constantly follow the sunshine to play the sport I love all year round. That said, a little bit of Edinburgh came to Sydney to further disrupt the Aussies preparations for the Ashes. Here's how the rest of their ODI series with Sri Lanka panned out:

2nd ODI (Sydney) - Sri Lanka 213-3 (41.3 overs) (Tharanga 86* off 112) beat Australia 210 (37.4 overs) by 29 runs (D/L method). There is no doubt that Australia got shafted by Messrs Duckworth and Lewis in this game. 240 off 38 overs was always a stiff ask. But then, they hadn't taken enough Sri Lankan wickets, and looked impotent with ball in hand on a flat SCG wicket. The only Aussie bowler who vaguely impressed me was Nathan Hauritz and that was only the way in which he compensated for the way the batsmen were constantly trying to charge him and loft him down the ground. He clearly possesses the mental attributes for Test cricket, but I and the rest of the cricketing world will always doubt his actual ability. Shane Watson picked up the other 2 wickets and claims he is in the form of his life with the ball and wants more overs during the Ashes, having bowled a few overs of crap in 2009. Upul Tharanga stood out for Sri Lanka. Although his timing was not always perfect, his placement was and he held the innings together, allowing more flamboyant shotmakers to play around him to reach a match-winning score. I cannot see why his place in the side is constantly under scrutiny - so often has he been the perfect foil for Dilshan, Sangakkara et al and so often has he been the one to make a big score compensating for what can be a fragile middle order. The Aussie batting effort was short on highlights, save for the biggest six I've ever seen struck by Mitchell Johnson. The rain had caused the outfield to slow, meaning that shotmakers like Cameron White were failing to reach the boundary. Again, the Sri Lankan bowlers were disciplined without being amazing but that was enough in this instance.

3rd ODI (Brisbane) - Australia 119-2 (21.4 overs) (Clarke 50* off 51) beat Sri Lanka 115 (32 overs) (McKay 9-1-33-5, Starc 9-0-27-4) by 8 wickets with 170 balls remaining. A thrashing in a dead rubber will have eased some of the supposed tension in the hosts' dressing room. More interesting was the Gabba pitch, which offered sharp bounce to the pace bowlers, as well as some alarming movement - one delivery from Johnson was clocked at 90mph and yet seamed like on off-break. Clint McKay may appear the chief wrecker, but for me Mitchell Starc was the standout bowler. A tall left-armer, he utilised the sharp bounce to great effect and got just enough movement away from the right-handers to take the edge. Don't rule out an apparence in the Ashes for this lad - he's probably equivalent to Steven Finn in the England setup. Quite simply, the Sri Lankan batsmen didn't turn up and another middle order collapse was not papered over by Malinga and Mathews on this occasion. They will need to solidify their batting for the World Cup on home soil next year. If they can do that, and find a bit of consistency, then they have an excellent chance of winning it. The run chase was over after a wild first over from Dilhara Fernando - very quick, but plenty of no-balls and wides! It was good to see Michael Clarke, a great cricketer, leading his side hom to victory with a 50, after a week in which his future captaincy credentials were very publically brought under the microscope.

That's it for the Aussies for now, except a brief apology to Ben Hilfenhaus, for omitting him for the list of likely Aussie bowlers. He will most likely start at the Gabba, get injured and not be seen for another 12 months. It's what he does.

Now England - who actually won a warm-up match for a change:

England 223-8d (Pietersen 58, Broad 53*) and 243-4 (Strauss 120*) beat Western Australia 242-8d (Voges 72, Robinson 62) and 223 (Robinson 54, Swann 4-101) by 4 wickets.

There is plenty to rejoice about here - Firstly, Pietersen got some runs and in some style. That will boost his confidence and ego (the main source of his problems) no end. Also, Swann managed to pick up wickets on a different surface to that which he is accustomed. He admitted he struggled in the first innings, but found new ways to dominate the batsmen. And finally, there is skipper Strauss, who got his team home with a fairly tough required run rate and batsmen falling around him. And there is the bad news - as a unit, England are not quite adapted to bat in these conditions. Fortunately, time is still on their side. Steven Finn also struggled early on but bounced back well on the third morning to snare 3 wickets in the match.

England are now dominating their second warm-up in Adelaide against South Australia after two days. Collingwood, Bell, Anderson and Swann amongst the main contributors. I'll have a brief report on that and the Australia A match in Hobart next week.

And now ladies and gentlemen, presenting the England batsmen:

Andrew Strauss (captain, LH bat) - the rock of the batting lineup and an intelligent leader. The man who should have captained 4 years ago now gets his chance. Has expanded his game to be more aggressive more often and no longer relies solely on the cut or pull. In fact, it is these shots which most frequently get him out, such is the relish with which he plays them.

Alistair Cook (LH bat) - has been distinctly average for a good while now, with only a last-gasp hundred against Pakistan, Michael Carberry's blood-clot and the fact that management see him as the next captain keeping him in his side. Suspect technique was discovered by McGrath and Lee 4 years ago. These issues still remain. Get your foot to the pitch Cooky!

Jonathan Trott (RH bat) - the saviour at the Oval on debut in 2009. Has since proven himself as a solid and consistent contributor. Will need to avoid the yips that troubled him on tour to South Africa last winter. The Aussies may be well placed to exploit his weaknesses.

Kevin Pietersen (RH bat) - if KP fires, England win. If he doesn't it may not matter - he is no longer the man upon which they rely. Lovingly nicknamed FIGJAM (Fuck I'm Good, Just Ask Me) on the last tour by the hosts, he stuck two fingers up at them and played some wonderful cricket. Until McGrath broke his ribs. This tour will define him as a good player, or a great one.

Paul Collingwood (RH bat, RA medium) - the antithesis to KP. Lacks supreme talent and range of strokes, but really knows how to scrap and fight for his country. The man for a crisis and will relish returning to Adelaide, scene of his epic 206 four years ago.

Ian Bell (RH bat) - never mind that he denied my beloved Somerset the CB40 Trophy in September, this boy is class. Pleasing on the eye and with a new-found fire in his belly (pardon the pun), this is a completely different player to the one the Aussies have seen before. Will be interesting to see where he slots back in after injury

Eoin Morgan (LH bat) - not an automatic selection now that Bell has returned, did not digrace himself during the summer. Very talented ODI player, has the temperament to translate it to the highest level. Easily capable of stepping up if required.

Matt Prior (RH bat, wicket keeper) - another player who has matured recently. No longer getting out to irresponsible shots, he, along with Collingwood, are responsible for the best rearguard actions of recent times. Having worked so hard at Sussex, his glovework was almost faultless throughout the Test match summer, although it's a different prospect Down Under. Will be backed up by Steven Davies (LH bat), a capable deputy though yet to make his debut. There only for an emergency.

England's "Top Bloke of the Week" - Pietersen. A great range of shots in his 58, his first significant first-class runs in a long while. His candour during the proceeding press conference was also priceless, "I've been playing like a clown but now I'm on fire!" LAD

Bowlers next week
RM

The RedZone: Week 9 in the NFL

While this week featured some great offensive performances, there was less to write home about of defense. Particularly if you are Ndamukong Suh of the Lions, who stepped up and missed a crucial PAT after their regular kicker was hurt a couple of plays before. Apparently the DT had played football (association) before - you wouldn't know it by looking at him. Anyway, that was all very amusing, but here's the rest of the action from Week 9:

Ryan's Top 5

5. James Jones - 8 catches, 123 yards, 1 TD. When your offense is blowing hot and cold, Dallas is the team to be playing. Green Bay quite literally beat the crap out of them to end Coach Wade Phillips' tenure in Arlington. Cowboys CB Mike Jenkins was made to look like a fool all evening by Jones, who had a big day for a depleted Packers receiving unit. Aaron Rodgers didn't even need to be at his very best to put up impressive numbers as he led his side to a 45-7 victory.

4. Philip Rivers - 17/23, 295 yards, 4 TD's, 1 INT. Here was a game of inevitabilities. First, we all knew the Chargers would cock up on special teams again. Second, Ryan Mathews would fumble the football. Third, the Texans secondary would continue to be abysmal and the NFLs leading QB would run riot. No Gates, no Naanee, no Floyd and no V-Jax, yet still Rivers dominated this 29-23 victory for San Diego.

3. Jacoby Ford - 6 catches, 148 yards; 94 yard kickoff return for a TD. Who knew the Raiders would be quite good this season? Actually, I did but that's not the point. 3 wins on the spin has genuinely put them in playoff contention in an admittedly shite division. Rookie WR Ford was the key man here. I'll admit I'd never heard of him before Sunday (he was a 4th round pick owing to his lack of size) but apparently he was a sprint champion in his time at Clemson. This was pretty evident in a 23-20 OT win aginst the Chiefs - the lad is like lightning.

2. Brett Favre - 36/47, 446 yards, 2 TD's, 2 INT's. A career day after 20 years in the business is generally pretty significant. Especially when you wear No.4 and advertise Wrangler Jeans. After all the criticism levelled at Favre and Vikings coach Brad Childress, this was the perfect riposte. Never mind that their opponents from Arizona can only be described as average at very best. A 27-24 OT comeback when all hope looked lost in the 4th quarter showed there is still a little bit of life left in the old boy.

1. The Browns' rushing offense - Colt McCoy: 14/19, 174 yards; 3 carries, 20 yards, 1 TD; Peyton Hillis: 29 carries, 184 yards, 2 TD's. No-one saw this coming. For everyone who ever described Hillis as a mere FB, too big to ever cause any real impact in the backfield - you're wrong (Brady Quinn better than Hillis, Coach McDaniels? Really?). Anyone who thought Jimmy Clausen and Tim Tebow were better QB prospects than McCoy - you're wrong. He was aware of his limitations and played to them against the superior Patriots, picking sensible passes and keeping the chains moving thanks to his capable RB. The Browns won 34-14 and New England got nowhere near them. Credit to the O-Line as well for making it happen.

Graeme's Top 5

5. Antwaan Randle El to Mike Wallace - 39 yard TD pass - You can't accuse the Steelers organisation of lacking balls. In a squeaky-bum time close win over the Bengals they pulled out the same Wide Receiver fake end around pass play that previous coaching staff Bill Cowher and Ken Wisenhunt used to score the only Pittsburgh TD in their Superbowl XL win over the Seahawks in the 05 season. Manly

4. Michael Vick - 17/29, 218 yards, 1 TD, 74 yards rushing, 1 rushing TD - Most importantly, Vick was only sacked by the Colts 3 times while playing behind what is easily one of the worst pass blocking O-lines in the NFL. Kevin Kolb would have had to be scraped off the turf. Vick's mobility is key to the Eagles continuing their division title push against the Giants, whose somewhat better line dominated the Seahawks.

3. T.O. - 10 receptions, 141 yards, 2 TD's - You know what, I like T.O. and I always have. Even though he has played for my two least favourite teams, the Eagles and Cowboys, and even though he is an arrogant jerk who completely polarises every teammate he has ever played with, his talent does speak for itself. Never mind that his Bengals partner in crime Chad Ochocinco was constantly double covered against the Steelers, leaving Terrell to get open more easily; how many soon-to-be 37 year olds could perform the way he is this season. Let's see Brett play wideout.

2. Everything the Browns did against the Patriots - Eric Mangini has had a 'difficult' relationship with former boss Bill Belichick. He has been discredited and embarassed in the past with the Jets, and the Browns were hardly praised for picking him up after his sacking. Yet there is one thing that Eric seems to be great at and it is beating the Patriots. This win was the most impressive yet with Colt McCoy and Peyton Hillis, hereby known by his new nickname of White Supremacy (offensive!) schooling the Pats D, and the Browns defenders refusing to budge against Tom Brady.

1. Matt Ryan - 24/36, 235 yards, 1 TD - Now 17-1 in the Georgia Dome, watching Matt Ryan play at home is watching a Franchise QB TM. He looks simply untouchable, as if nothing can shake him or throw him off his game. Even without Roddy White for much of the game, he controlled the Buccaneers and ensured a win that gives them sole possession of the NFC South lead. If they can hang onto it, and hence get homefield advantage in the playoffs, they could well be on their way to the Superbowl.

GM and RM

Thanks Thom!

Very briefly wish to send my best wishes to former Glasgow Warriors and Scotland international rugby player Thom Evans. After almost a year out of the game following a life-threatening neck injury, Evans has announced that he will not be returning to the game, forced to retire at the age of just 24.

It's easy as a fan to forget about the bigger picture in sport. I think I was too frustrated after our last-gasp defeat to Wales in this year's Six Nations to really reflect upon the impact of Evans' collision with Lee Byrne. A total accident (much like Byrne's later collision with Phil Godman, didn't stop the Welshman going down like he'd been shot), yet one of the very real risks associated with rugby at the highest level, especially in the modern era when all players drink protein shakes up to their eyeballs. For this incident, no blame can be apportioned to Byrne.

Now as a sports loving medical student in Edinburgh, I was very much aware of Dr James Robson and his work within both the Scotland squad and for the British and Irish Lions. Many more became aware of the man's brilliance on that day in February, when his quick-thinking, combined with the support of the local Welsh medical staff, effectively saved Thom Evans' life. A high slipped vertebra is no laughing matter. Evans is so lucky he can still walk. However, a return to rugby was always a step too far.

One of the quickest players I've ever seen in the blue jersey, Evans was a flamboyant wing. Not always as effective against more organised and physical defences, he nonetheless gave his all for his country. His speed and passion will be sorely missed.

So thanks for all your effort Thom, and good luck with whatever you do with your life from hereon in.

RM

Home and Away - The Ashes Tour: Week 2

England rejoice! The Australians are playing some of the worst cricket in their history. Their recent record reads like this: 1 Test loss to Pakistan, 2 Test losses to India, 1 ODI loss to India, 1 T20 loss to Sri Lanka, 2 ODI losses to Sri Lanka. Of course, this means one of two things. First, the Aussies are stuck in a rut and will continue to play poorly and get stuffed in the Ashes. Second, and I suspect more likely, the hosts will come out all guns blazing and give England a real contest. Let's go inside a couple of the Sri Lanka matchups to see how things are shaping up:

Only T20I (Perth) - Sri Lanka 135-3 (16.3 overs) beat Australia 133-8 (20 overs) (Randiv 4-0-25-3, Perera 4-0-22-2) by 7 wickets with 21 balls remaining. This was every bit as easy as it sounds for Sri Lanka. Australia batted first on a typically quick Perth wicket and had soon crumpled to 43-5. Sri Lanka took all the chances which came their way, no more spectacular than the one handed grab taken by quick bowler Dilhara Fernando to dismiss the opposition skipper Michael Clarke. Brad Haddin and Steve Smith staged a recovery of sorts but both got out in the 18th over to spinner Suraj Randiv, who utilised the extra bounce in the track to keep the Aussies on the backfoot and cutting, generally unsuccessfully. The lack of acceleration towards the end of the innings meant that 133 was never going to be competetive. The inexperienced bowlers John Hastings and Clint McKay bowled tidily in reply but never had enough in the bank to defend, particularly as Mahela Jayawardene and TM Dilshan found fluency at the top of the order which their opponents so lacked. When they fell trying to push for an early finish, Kumar Sangakkara steadied the ship with his usual cool head and Thissara Perera ended proceedings in spectacular fashion, launching Smith's leggies for 2 massive maximums.

1st ODI (Melbourne) - Sri Lanka 243-9 (44.2 overs) (Mathews 77* off 84, Malinga 56 off 48, Doherty 10-1-46-4) beat Australia 239-8 (50 overs) (M Hussey 71* off 91, Perera 8-0-46-5) by 1 wicket with 34 balls remaining. Quite simply, a miracle. Despite the fact that it looked once again as if the Australian batting lineup had reached a target well under par, they still managed to reduce the visitors to 107-8, before a stunning comeback from new kid on the block Angelo Mathews and No.10 slogger Lasith Malinga. To be fair, the Aussies got off to a very decent start with the bat, through Michael Clarke and Brad Haddin, who looks back to great form after his injury and will now certainly start with the gloves in Brisbane. However, the introduction of Thissara Perera's medium pace sparked a collapse. It's not although he did much with the ball on a fairly flat pitch, but he simply plonked the ball on a good line and length and let the batsmen make the errors. Case in point, Cameron White misses a straight one playing down the wrong line. Richie Benaud called it a "marvellous delivery". It wasn't. Shaun Marsh rebuilt the innings alongside the under pressure Michael Hussey - a double failure for Western Australia sent the local media into a frenzy, but although this wasn't a spectacular knock, it was sensible and displayed the right temperament for difficult situations. The bowling was led by the debutant spinner Xavier Doherty, who looked to have a very solid action and nice subtle variations. He seems a better bet than Nathan Hauritz as things stand. However, he, along with his teammates, should really have seen the game through before Malinga and Mathews' big-hitting comeback, topped off by Murali hitting the winning runs. A great game to watch as a neutral, particular as an England fan!

And to add to the misery, the Aussies suffered another comfortable defeat today in Sydney - report to follow next week. Now let's have a look at this bowling attack which will look to cause the England boys some trouble:

Mitchell Johnson (LA quick, LH bat) - the lynchpin. Despite a horrendous outing in 2009, Johnson is much more potent on home soil on bouncy tracks with much less lateral movement. His huge backlift also poses a serious threat down the order, and is someone who can genuinely disrupt Graeme Swann's rhythm.

Doug Bollinger (LA quick, LH bat) - should recover from a side strain in time for Brisbane. Has been talking a great game all week about how he's going to take Strauss and Pietersen down. Knows the England boys from a stint at Worcestershire, back when he was bald. Now has hair, hence the nickname "Doug the Rug". Quite good, but not as good as he'd tell you. Still a lad though

Peter Siddle (RA quick, RH bat) - the archetypal new Australian cricketer - not suprememly talented but "a trier". A former wood chopper, I'll avoid lazy puns on him cutting Alastair Cook down to size. Oh wait.... Pretty good in 2009, pretty good recently, that's about it. Nice aggressive streak.

The spinners - Nathan Hauritz (RA offie) is the incumbant, but really I can't take him seriously since someone pointed out he looks like Haley Joel Osmont in the Sixth Sense (Google). Opposition batsmen take the same attitude and generally target him these days, hence he'll fail to keep an end tight. Xavier Doherty (SLA) is an unknown quantity but looked a good prospect in the 1st ODI. England would be more likely to treat him with caution so I would plump for him at the Gabba, as a spinner in Oz needs to restrict rather than attack generally (RIP Jason Krejza's international career). But Hauritz can contribute down the order with the bat, so will probably get the nod as the "safe option".

The pretenders - Ryan Harris (RA quick) has had a great year in limited overs cricket and is a good option for the Tests but has had a long-term injury and so will need to be eased back slowly. Peter George (RA quick) apparently had a good debut in India but I know very little about him and I assume there are others ahead of him as things stand. Brett Lee? probably not.

So let's turn briefly to England, for they have done very little of note on tour so far. They had a decent first day against Western Australia at the WACA in Perth, all of the bowlers chipping in to restrict the hosts to 242-8d. Broad picked up 3, Anderson, Finn, Swann and Collingwood 1 apiece. Alastair Cook fell for 5 in bizarre circumstances as England closed on 10-1. WA skipper Marcus North is another under pressure for his test place, but unlike Mike Hussey, came back in the 2nd innings of his Sheffield Shield game with a century. A man who always performs when the pressure is on most, much like Colly for England. Callum Ferguson is pushing for a middle order place of his own after a century for South Australia - Tim Nielsen has said that he very much could be involved at the Gabba. Ferguson had a great start to his international career in ODIs, but then picked up an injury that basically necessitated him having his entire knee rebuilt. He's a talent, and another unknown quantity.

Meanwhile at the Gabba, Queensland were routed for 75 and 96 by a Hauritz-led New South Wales. Pace bowler Mark Cameron took 11-52 on a green-top, something that the rainy east coast could preserve for the 25th November. The pace bowlers, a department in which Australia have the edge, will rejoice.

England's "Top Bloke" of the Week: Broady - not just for his 3 early wickets at the WACA but his reaction to Graeme Swann's minor thumb injury. "He's just glad to get out of the running" he said. Mountains? Molehills? No such thing. LAD

Next week: Introducing the men looking to pile on the runs for England. ODIs 2 & 3 for Aus vs SL. The result of England's WA warm-up and the fun moves on to Adelaide.
RM

Shut up and take your medicine!

As the title suggests, it's rant time again. What do myself and Graeme enjoy ranting about most? Did somebody say Scottish football? Ah good, we'd hate to disappoint you.

Two things have irked me in recent weeks. And both involve people getting above their stations and complaining where really no complaint is necessary or desired. First of all, rather predictably on my part, is the Dundee situation. Having gone into administration, they have now been docked 25 points and sit rooted at the foot of Division 1, with -11 points, despite going unbeaten since the club passed into the hands of Bryan Jackson. The uproar that has followed - fans are boycotting away games, the "bigwigs" are threatening to sue the SFL and appeal the decision. On what grounds?

The precedent has been set, with Gretna and my own club Livingston. Both went into administration, both were relegated to the 3rd Division. I appreciate that the circumstances were different - the sanctions were meted out in the close-season, so there were no issues of fixtures already fulfilled being voided. And both clubs actually entered liquidation processes, something Dundee have yet to do, but surely will in the not-too-distant future. Some would say Dundee got off lightly. Indeed, our chief executive Ged Nixon has expressed his diappointment at the leniency of the decision. This for me is unnecessary. Our circumstances were different and we really need to focus on continuing to get our own house in order. For once, the SFL made the correct decision about Dundee. There are no grounds for appeal, they are guilty of gross financial mismanagement and in the real world, that is punishable with a winding up order. The footballing equivalent appears to be the hefty points penalty. Complaining about it will not take away the fact that they were very much in the wrong and cannot be allowed to get away with it, much like Livingston and Gretna before them. I very much doubt Dundee will survive to the end of the season to feel the force of their inevitable relegation.

The second point I wish to make is this ridiculous situation at Celtic - playing the victim after a string of "interesting" refereeing decisions. Gary Hooper came out today and said that he felt referees were against Celtic and wanted to rule against them because they're one of the world's big clubs. First, who the hell is Gary Hooper and what experience does he have to make such a claim? Second, what have Celtic acheived in the past 43 years that makes them a massive club? Thirdly, how dare you question the referees of such bias?!

Dougie McDonald and Steven Craven reversed a penalty award for Celtic against Dundee United - Craven was forced to resign after taking the flack for the decision, only for it to transpire that McDonald was the responsible party. This was followed up by Willie Collum awarding Rangers a penalty in the Old Firm match, which Celtic went on to lose. Collum has since received death threats, from some of the finer examples of Celtic fans. The arrogance and paranoia of the players has clearly been passed down to the fans.

Now, I'm not denying that what McDonald and Craven did was essentially lying and against the spirit of the game. However, their reaction and conspiracy to pin the blame on the linesman was one borne out of fear - fear that they would receive a reception similar to that of Collum. Neil Lennon, the Celtic manager, essentially typifies everything wrong in the Old Firm - an inability to see the big picture outside the four walls of Parkhead or Ibrox. His delusion that Celtic are somehow victims of a big SFA conspiracy has been transmitted to his players and hence the outburst of Hooper.

My message to Celtic (and Rangers when it happens to them because the reaction is the same) is this - Fucking Get Over It. Referees make decisions that you will sometimes like and sometimes not like. It will often win you games and cost you games but they do the best job they can under difficult and high-pressure circumstance and they do it honestly and without bias. Get off their backs and respect their decisions and your fans will follow your lead. And let's be honest, since when did you need the help of the referees to beat the likes of Dundee Utd? It's a sad state of affairs that the Old Firm has become so average but they cannot see their own faults and seek to point the finger of blame at everyone else.

It embarrasses me to be Scottish sometimes when these two clubs supposedly represent the nation.
RM

Like A Mad Octopus: The State Of Scottish Rugby This Month

With the deep, dark winter fast approaching the rugby is only just starting to heat up. The Autumn tests are upon us and the colder weather should also bring less rain. Bring on the slick attacking play we all love!

The past month saw the Magners League teams enjoying their international stars before the Test committments see them off training with the national sides. The opening matches of the Heineken Cup, always a popular competition, also took place. The only Scottish interest in the knockout stages of late has been Murrayfield hosting the final. Will things change? On evidence, no, probably not.

The Club Scene

Edinburgh (8th in the Magners League. 4th in Pool 1). Started the month with a close win away in Italy to Aironi, and subsequently beat Ulster at home and lost narrowly to Leinster in Dublin. In Europe they lost both games, going down to Cardiff and Northampton. Those two games were actually amongst their best performances. They were in the Northampton game in particular, and only lost out due to a little extra edge for the Saints in the forwards. Oh no, Edinburgh's traditional struggles against anyone remotely physical are back I hear you cry. But, considering the way Northampton have bossed the Premiership (they totally and absolutely humiliated Newcastle's pack) the close loss is easier on the eye. Certainly, looking good has been the theme of the Burgh's attacking play. Rob Moffat was involved in the 7's setup, and he has translated a lot of the principles of attacking space from that format into 15 a side. Again, like I said last month, the centres look a bit same-y. But David Blair has played well overall, and Alex Blair (from now on I'll just call them by first name. You'll know them all well soon enough) debuted against Leinster and did decently. The sparks weren't quite there, but nerves and a conservative gameplan probably contributed to that. In the pack, Netani Talei has added the physical side he promised to deliver. He also has an eye for support lines and for scoring. Fraser McKenzie now seems to be Scott MacLeod's preferred second row partner as Esteban Lozada, when not injured, has not been as good as billed. Ross Rennie has though, and looks to be getting up a head of steam. The style of Roddy Grant means that those two flankers are often seen helping each other make tackles; they play the game in the same areas of the pitch. On a final note, Tim Visser is still in the zone (he has also provided a handy euphimism for going to the toilet. "Back in a mo, I'm just popping out to the Visser").

Glasgow (11th in the league. 3rd in Pool 6). The injuries still deprive them of Cusiter, Kellock (who may be back soon) and Beattie. But thank the stars John Barclay is back after concerns. He has been in great form. I would recommend, if a game is a little dull, just following him around the pitch. His play has a certain elegance to it; he flows from breakdown to breakdown. His work on the ground has also improved this year, and thus he steals and disrupts more ball. Speaking of form, another man who is showing some is big Richie Gray (he will always be referred to as 'big' from here on). The other Richie, Vernon, has had a run in the 8 shirt and has been solid in defence (he had issues due to tackling too low last year), but hasn't got the ball in hand as much as his top level speed deserves. The front row of Welsh, Hall and whoever is fit hasn't been quite up to the standard set last year, and some penalties have been lost from that area of play. The other problem is that there does not seem to be much of a spark to the backs. Actually, players like Morrison and Colin Gregor (in place of Cusiter) have been playing very well, and Max Evans can still gain 20 metres out of nothing. It just seems that the attacking play that develops is in isolated bursts, which is wierd considering the creative Jackson and Weir are at 10. Weir incidently scored a good individual try against the Scarlets in Wales, showing what can happen if you simply keep the ball and run hard through gaps. That match, which Glasgow lost, can be forgiven; the rain in Llanelli that night was as bad as anything I've ever seen, anywhere. Perhaps Bernie Stortoni could have taken a few of the high balls that Peter Murchie dropped, but on the whole it must have been like trying to catch a greased up sheep (should have got Jackson and Cus on the case).

The National Side

The full squad to face the All Blacks, South Africa and Manu Samoa has been named. I might as well list it here; it gives the less rugby inclined amongst you a chance to learn the men wearing the jersey:

Backs – Joe Ansbro (Northampton Saints), Mike Blair (Edinburgh), Ben Cairns (Edinburgh), Max Evans (Glasgow Warriors), Alex Grove (Edinburgh), Ruaridh Jackson (Glasgow Warriors), Greig Laidlaw (Edinburgh), Rory Lamont (Toulon), Sean Lamont (Scarlets), Rory Lawson (Gloucester), Graeme Morrison (Glasgow Warriors), Dan Parks (Cardiff Blues), Chris Paterson (Edinburgh), Hugo Southwell (Stade Francais), James Thompson (Edinburgh), Nikki Walker (Ospreys)

Forwards – John Barclay (Glasgow Warriors), Kelly Brown (Saracens), Geoff Cross (Edinburgh), Alasdair Dickinson (Gloucester), Ross Ford (Edinburgh), Richie Gray (Glasgow Warriors), Dougie Hall (Glasgow Warriors), Jim Hamilton (Gloucester), Nathan Hines (Leinster), Allan Jacobsen (Edinburgh), Scott Lawson (Gloucester), Moray Low (Glasgow Warriors), Alan MacDonald (Edinburgh), Scott MacLeod (Edinburgh), Euan Murray (Northampton Saints), Ross Rennie (Edinburgh) and Richie Vernon (Glasgow Warriors).

Not considered due to injury – Johnnie Beattie (Glasgow Warriors), Chris Cusiter (Glasgow Warriors), Simon Danielli (Ulster), Nick De Luca (Edinburgh), Phil Godman (Edinburgh), Alastair Kellock (Glasgow Warriors) and Alasdair Strokosch (Gloucester).

The loss of Kellock, the captain during the victorious tour of Argentina in the summer, is obviously a big one.

There are four uncapped lads in the squad. Greg Laidlaw and Jim Thompson of Edinburgh are pretty much extra bodies, and Joe Ansbro is in to get a feel of the team setup. Only Ruiridh Jackson has much of a chance to get a significant role, probably by starting against Samoa in his hometown Aberdeen.

Ross Rennie is back involved in test rugby, but the form of John Barclay means he isn't going to feature much. The back row will almost certainly be Barclay and Vernon of Glasgow with Kelly Brown, once of Glasgow. There isn't actually any other real option at 8 besides Vernon; Brown can play there, but Roddy Grant and Ally Hogg are not involved in the squad. Stay healthy Richie; no more nights out in Potterow until it's all over!

Second row will see Nathan Hines alongside Richie Gray; his form of late demands his inclusion.

The front row is boosted by Alan Jacobsen's good play, and Ross Ford has been decent as well. Tighthead options are either Moray Low or Euan Murray; that there is a debate to be had there is evidence enough of the doubts surrounding Murray's return from injuries.

Mike Blair and Rory Lawson are the two 9's. Blair hasn't been that good for Scotland in his previous appearances, but good performances here could nail down a starters spot come 6 Nations time. I think Lawson is the better option personally. He has as quick a pass as Cusiter, snipes and runs as much as Blair and kicks well. But I'm not the coach am I?

Stand-off is, of course, the Dan Parks Show. To be honest, if he goes down against New Zealand we're equally as fucked with Jackson as we would be with Godman, so squad depth remains consistent!

Graeme Morrison is doing well this year, and he'll need to be on his toes to tackle Ma'a Nonu. Max Evans is still a doubt when it comes to defense, and Parks is completely useless. So a hard hitting fullback to do his job for him is a must; what's that, Rory Lamont is fit and playing well for Toulon? Great!! Oh, and Hugo Southwell is doing well too. Great.

We are quite short of wingers. Sean Lamont, I assume, is fit to start and thus will. He is big and dangerous, like some kind of bear. The other jersey could be filled by Nikki Walker, Ansbro, Max Evans if Ben Cairns plays 13 or Rory Lamont if Southwell plays Fullback.

In terms of the opposition, the Allblacks are what we thought they were; fucking class. Forget the loss to Australia they just took- we can't run the ball anything like Australia can. Thus, the physical side of the game in the tight will be crucial, and with Thorn, Read, Kaino, Woodcock, Mealamu and Captain Tackles...we're fucked. There is no chance of a win I'm afraid.

South Africa? Well, I honestly can't make a call. If they're as shit as they were against Australia in their first Tri Nations match then we can beat them. If we play like we did against Australia this time last year, we can beat them. What is more likely is that both sides are somewhere in between those two extremes. Wherever the scales rock will determine the outcome. From a personal perspective, I do want to see Matfield in person (the sports scientists told him he had exceeded his recommeded number of games played in the year. He ignored them. Man). Patrick Lambie, the stocky youngster in the back line, is also intriguing.

As for Samoa, I really hope our victory doesn't come at the cost of too many broken arms, legs and faces.

Lad Awards for October

Most Laddish Forward: Richie Gray. He has been throwning his substantial weight around well, and sold an outrageous fake to score against the Ospreys. Still as elegant as a lamp post when running though.

Most 'Laddish' (NB: backs cannot be true Lads) Back: David Blair. For doing quite well, actually. But mainly for beating Ulster and silencing their fans and their bollock-awful 'UULLLSSSSTTTTEEEEERRRRR' monotone chanting.

Phil Godman Award for Uselessness: John Barclay. You're the captain. The ref tells you to stop your players trying to kick the ball away at rucks. You nod. The very next ruck, you kick the ball away and get carded. Smooth moove handlebars.

LAD of the Month: Alan Jacobsen. For giving short, tubby ginger kids a role model. Runner-up; Rob Harley. For a solid debut season so far and for giving tall, lanky ginger kids a role model.

GM (with thanks the the great Bill McLaren for providing the title)

FIFA: An Organisation a Spiteful, Petty Bourbon King Would Be Proud Of

Louis XIV of France created the famous Hall of Mirrors in Versailles Palace ( le Galerie des Glaces for those of a francophone disposition). The ultimate monument to the detatched excesses of Divine Rule, this shimmering multi-sided prism of wall height mirrors reflected both the glorious wealth and the ugly warts of the Sun King.

Visitors would have to gaze in wonder at the mirrors, and the implicit riches of their architect, but had to at the same time ignore the fact that 360 degree mirrors showed Louis to be a short, fattening unpleasant gout sufferer.

History lesson over for today (I would highly recommend visiting Versailles if you are ever in Paris). But FIFA's behaviour with regards the World Cup 2018 decision process and the allegations of corruption amongst it's officials is something out of the 18th century school of public behaviour.

Their increasingly hostile attitude towards the England bid team is shockingly baseless. The fact that newspapers, completely independent of the bid and related to it only by the country in which they operate, have researched and published articles criticising FIFA officals and speculating corruption is irrelevant to the 2018 decision making process itself, and should be investigated independently.

But FIFA cry out in outrage, as if doubt and dissenting voices are inherently slanderous, and that if one person believes them then the entire country does too. The peasants are revolting!

The bid team are now frantically trying to save themselves, even proposing that the editor of every newspaper in Britain should write to FIFA to express their support of the World Cup and FIFA's handling of it.

In what ridiculous world do FIFA need to be pandered and complimented like Queen Elizabeth in Blackadder? What a pathetic low to have to stoop to. Why don't they all go to the FIFA throneroom, fall down on their knees and beg forgivenness?

This goes beyond mere pandering to an arrogant FIFA. This whole affair seems to affirm, in FIFA's minds at least, it's position as that of an unimpeachable overlord, with divine right to avoid criticism or regulation.

FIFA basically seem to counter allegations by flounting its wares like an Aberdeen sex worker. They seem to be telling us that they make so much money that a little bit here and there in bribes and corruption can just be swept under the rug. There is so much gold in the vaults that building one little Hall of Mirrors is irrelevant. And yet in the countryside the peasants starve for lack of bread.

FIFA, let's remember, is the governing body of a sport and yet it behaves as if it is on par with the United Nations. It represents all nations that play football, and yet it does not care to stop corruption and make sure money is spent where it could actually make a difference. It is supposed to ensure that the World Cup, the greatest individual sporting event on the planet, is held and ran by the best possible host. And yet the English bid, plainly the best option, is being saboutaged by the affairs of a a couple of Tahitians (For God's sake, if FIFA is a proportional representative body, then why is there any more than one Tahitian in it?).

At the end of the day, who remembers what happened to the Bourbon kings in the end?

(Here's a clue. Listen to Le Marseillaise).

GM

The RedZone: Week 8 in the NFL

Ryan's Top 5

5. Dwight Freeney - 2 tackles, 2 sacks, 1 FF. Matt Schaub was not allowed to settle as the Colts' defense dealt immeasurably better with the Texans at the second time of asking in a 30-17 victory. Freeney embodied the spirit of his defense with some big hits on the Houston QB, including a decisive turnover late on. Manning got points on the board as usual and for once, thanks to this defensive performance, the Texans were unable to rally back in the 4th quarter.

4. Mike Williams - 4 catches, 105 yards 1 TD. No, not the old rubbish Mike Williams that Graeme selected last week, this is the Tampa Bay Buccaneers new star, and Josh Freeman's new favourite receiver. Williams has made a mockery of his 4th round draft selection, supposedly for attitude issues, with some excellent plays all season, standing up and being counted when it matters, as it did here with a 47 yard TD grab in a 38-35 win over the Cardinals, amazingly giving the Bucs the best record in the NFC.

3. BenJarvus Green-Ellis - 17 carries, 112 yards, 2 TD's; 1 catch, 11 yards. So good they named him four times. It's a well known fact that New England don't really have a running game. Or at least they didn't until Green-Ellis popped up - he now has TD's in his last 5 games in a row and this effort in a 28-18 win over the Vikings was the best yet. The Patriots' secondary, led by rookie Devin McCourty did a great job of covering former favourite Randy Moss, so much so that Minnesota waived him after the game!

2. David Garrard and his O-Line - 17/21, 260 yards, 4 TD's; 3 sacks allowed. Admittedly, 3 sacks in a game doesn't look great, but when this O-Line clicked, Garrard had so much time to pick his pass in a 35-17 humbling of the Cowboys. And therein lies the Jags' problem this season - consistency. As Graeme has mentioned in the past, this line is young and clearly has a load of potential. Coach del Rio needs to keep working with these guys and Garrard may actually live up to his potential after all. All said, the Boys' defense looked amateurish once again. Jerry Jones' patience must be wearing very thin. Backup QB Jon Kitna also had a nightmare.

1. The Lions' young stars - Matthew Stafford - 26/45, 212 yards, 4 TD's, 1 INT; Calvin Johnson - 9 catches, 103 yards, 3 TD's; Ndamukong Suh - 4 tackles, 1 assist, 2 sacks, 1 fumble recovered for a TD. Great to see Stafford back after missing 6 weeks with another shoulder injury. Also great to see how his presence really galvanised the Lions' offense in a 37-25 win over the dysfunctional Redskins. He is beginning to fulfill his status as a No.1 draft pick and franchise QB. It always helps when you have a classy receiver like Megatron by your side as well, much as namesake Johnson has flattered Matt Schaub in recent times. Rookie Suh threw his considerable weight around once again and also recorded his first career TD as he took a Rex Grossman fumble 17 yards back to the house, which is about as far as you can realistically expect a D-Lineman to go! Grossman was only there because it transpires that Donovan McNabb IS a flawed QB after all (but still better than Kevin Kolb!).

Graeme's Top 5

5. Antonio Gates - 5 receptions, 123 yards, 1 TD - The Titans have a good defence against Tight Ends, coming from a divison containing Dallas Clark, Owen Daniels and Mercedes Lewis (side note; he has been very good this year). Gates was playing with a serious foot injury for the second week in a row (incidently, the same kind of injury that hampered him last year) and his Chargers have bad WR issues. So for him to be a gamechanger once more reafirms his status as the best TE in football.

4. GB's D in NYC - Sanchez 0 TD's and 2 INT's, no rushing TD's allowed, achieved a shutout - Stopping an NFL team from scoring is an achievement (yes, even the Bills), so to do it to the Jets in New York with a D that has been chastised previously this season and starts 3 undrafted blokes is more than worthy of praise.

3. Drew Nice N' Brees-y - 34/44, 305 yards, 2 TD's - Sorry for the 'joke' title! Brees and the Saints are another lot who have been criticised and doubted recently. They deserved it; they lost to Max Hall's Cards after all. But if you are going to prove the doubts to be premature, and defend your Superbowl title, you do it by beating the excellent Steelers in the Dome. Brees had his first really good, 2009 level game of the season.

2. David Garrard - 17/21, 260 yards, 4 TD's - Ryan has already summed up Garrard's day pretty well, so I'll just add in a few more points. Firstly, and as I mentioned already, Mercedes Lewis has improved greatly this year. His size and skillset is finally being utilised properly by shifting him about the field and by playing him in the slot to match him up against smaller defenders, and he is undoubtedly helping Garrard out. Second, the receiving corps is basically the same as the one branded hopeless last year, so the continued success of Jacksonville's passing game this year suggests that Garrard has put in a lot of work with these receivers to get the most out of them.

1. The Chiefs' running game versus Kyle Williams - Jamaal Charles 177 yards, Thomas Jones 77 yards - Kyle Williams of the Bills deserves mention due to his 9 tackle, 2 sack game against Kansas. Considering he is ideally suited to the 4-3 defense and is really undersized for the 3-4, he is performing admirably this year and had Duracel batteries in his motor on Sunday. His effots alone were not enough, though, to halt the Chiefs running attack. Another case of a young offensive line coming good, the current trend amongst personnel departments is to create entire offensive lines from scratch who will mature and perform together in the future. The current Kansas line is doing a great job and allowing the Chiefs to win the time of possession battle (and thus mask the team's deficiences). Kansas City had a brilliant line and running game at the start of the decade (Willie Roaf, Will Shields, Casey Wiegmann, Brian Waters and, ahem, Jordan Black blocking for Priest Holmes and Larry Johnson and protecting Trent Green). This current edition seems to be trying their best to emulate those lads.

GM and RM

The Back Page: November 2010

It's been another eventful month in the world of sport. There have also been plenty of headlines that have entertained me during the cold drab Edinburgh autumn. So now I share them with you dear readers, through the medium of the monthly awards:

Moment of the month - Dilhara Fernando of Sri Lanka backpedalling at the WACA to take a ridiculous one-handed catch to dismiss Michael Clarke, the Australian T20 captain. It sparked a performance from the tourists that led to a thrashing for the Aussies. Will this poor T20 form be a sign of things to come as it was back in 2005? The Ashes just got interesting!

Inevitability of the month (i) - It rained all weekend at a major sporting event in Wales. Who knew the Ryder Cup would stretch to a fourth day?

Inevitability of the month (ii) - Scotland have fought back to 2-2 from 2-0 against the world champions. Hampden is rocking. Who knew the Spanish would strike again late on to take all the spoils?

Inevitability of the month (iii) - The Broncos vs the 49ers at Wembley. Both bottom of their respective divisions and offensively bereft of ideas. Who knew the fourth International Series game would be as dull as sin until the 4th quarter when Troy Smith finally decided to take a risk?

Underwhelming meeting of the month - While on the subject of the International Series, the NFL attempted to build bridges with the cricketing community whilst in the UK. Who better to promote relations than the 49ers "star" punter Andy Lee, and Jonathan Trott, the "home-grown" and "flamboyant" England middle-order batsman.

Press conference of the month - A tie. Both on the same issue - here's Sir Alex going all Mourinho when comparing Wayne Rooney to a cow. Followed by the Pistol from Bristol Ian Holloway, getting all worked up for what turned out to be no reason at all:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UI7B0BLgSlg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bdJ_EqLrxkA

Inconvenience of the month - I'm not sure if anyone's considered this - how did the whole Andy Carroll & Kevin Nolan domestic arrangement come to pass? Nolan has a wife and kids at home. Now Carroll rocks up and instantly the place gets vandalised. Was Nolan in court and volunteered to take his errant striker under his wing? Or did he get a strange call in the middle of the night - "Howay Kev, it's Andy man. Can I come and crash at your place, only the judge says I need a propah rooole model after batterin' mah burd like?"

Hallowee'n Horror Moment of the Month - Gordon Brown is not the only seemingly dour Scotsman who should never be allowed to smile in public. I give you Andy Murray, after winning the Shanghai Masters:

Lookalike of the Month - The X Factor has got up and running, so the lookalike-o-matic machine in the BtC office has been working overtime. We found the Wagner/Miguel Angel Jiminez comparisons a little lazy, likewise with Aiden Grimshaw/Gareth Bale. Google those ones if you feel like it. The winner - Katie Waissel and Sally Gunnell:

So what can we look forward to in the next month? Well, as you all know, I'll be following the Ashes fervently from the 25th onwards. We have the Autumn Tests ahead of us, starting this Saturday, as well as Livingston vs Dumbarton - episode 2. For those of us who enjoy other sports - there's the ATP Masters Tennis from the O2 Arena and the conclusion to a tight Formula 1 season. It's also Movember - where we all ditch the razors for a month in honour of prostate cancer. John Barclay's handlebar effort from last year will take some beating!

RM