Wednesday 27 October 2010

Reader Competition: Think of a Title for this Piece, Win a Hat! *

This is a completely random piece. I just wanted to quickly post some things that struck me as odd over the weekend.

Firstly, Emile Heskey looks good. Really good. In fact, Big Emile has been doing his best Didier Drogba impersonation for the past few weeks now. Ever since Gerard Houllier arrived, Heskey has seemingly become a world class target man. You might think I'm simply overplaying the consequences of a new manager bringing better form out of his players (considering my lads Dumbarton have gotten rid of their boss, it is certainly fresh in my mind!). And you may also think that I am exaggerating a bit how good Emile has really been.

Well, I have watched a lot of football. A LOT. And I had as many doubts about Emile Heskey's ability as the next man. But, genuinely, an in-form Didier Drogba is the best comparison I can draw with the current incarnation of Emile. Over the past weeks, against Sunderland, Chelsea and particularly Spurs, Heskey has been excellent; extremely physical, quick to the ball and aware of his surroundings. In particular, he has been brilliant recieving the ball on the right flank and driving into the box. Younes Kaboul and Benoit Assou-Ekotto, Ashley Cole and the entire Sunderland back four really struggled against him. Fine, his goalscoring touch still hasn't appeared; he could have put two in the net against Sunderland for example. But at the same time, in the Wolves game (Houllier's second in charge) his headed goal was as powerful and as good as you are going to see at any level.

I don't know quite how Houllier and Heskey connect. What is obvious, though, is that their connection now is as strong as ever.

My second, completely unrelated odd observation is from the Edinburgh versus Ulster Magners League rugby clash. Edinburgh won fairly convincingly, although the score could have been closer had Ulster kicker Paddy Wallace been on song. I watched the game on BBC Ulster and thus heard the Ulster commentary team, who by the way are absolutely awful. There was an Australian ex-player who was completely uninteresting (Not just uninteresting. 'Chris Paterson on the sideline' uninteresting) and an Irish commentator. This bloke had no idea who half the players were, or what the referee was whistling up for. And the bias was genuinely too much for me by the second half. But I digress.

Anyway, the Irish bloke comes out and tells us that Wallace is playing in the 10 shirt due to an order from the Irish federation, and that he is the kicker again by order of the IRFU. They apparently have the power to command clubs to play players in certain positions. And so, in spite of having the excellent and mercurial talent of Ruan Pienaar to call on to kick from the tee, the Irish province lost when they could perhaps have won.

I wonder whether the IRFU bigwigs can be happy with that or not.

A final point. Unlike the Irish bloke and his Aussie companion in crime, I found Chris Cusiter to be easy to like when he appeared on BBC Alba's coverage of the Warriors-Ospreys clash. He was as interesting as John Barclay, who was a guest earlier in the year, but was also a lot more chirpy (as one would expect a scrumhalf to be) and thus easier to listen to. He also mentioned the commentators name to all his responses ("Well Hugh Dan...", "Not in my book Hugh Dan..."), which made proceedings seem unnervingly pleasant for what was essentially a night out in Maryhill.

Certainly a lot more genial than the ESPN commentary booth during their rugby coverage. Austin 'Prick' Healey mocks big Ben Kay so much that at some point Kay will simply stand, wrap his massive hands around Healey's head and crush it like an egg shell. It will happen soon...

* Disclaimer: The winner of the Title Contest will recieve a randomly selected hat, subject to competition rules. Please note a £30 postage payment will be required in order to recieve your hat!

GM

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