Snooker's Gone Loopy... but I like it!

Whilst aimlessly channel-flicking today, I came across something a bit different to my usual diet of Soccer Saturday and Friends re-runs. However, it wasn't something that would appeal to a mainstream audience in any part of the country and so it was on that graveyard sports channel ITV 4 - home of the Tour de France, the IPL and the Europa League. I'd read briefly about Power Snooker during the week and felt compelled to see it in action, live from the O2 Arena. This was more for research and time-filling purposes, rather than a deep-seated love of the sport of snooker. Nonetheless, Ronnie O'Sullivan's desired "X-Factor restyling" of the sport had arrived.

The rules in brief: each game last 30 minutes, the player with the most points wins after this time. There is a 20 second shot clock to keep the pace of the game up. One of the red balls is the designated Powerball, which triggers a 2 minute Powerplay where everything counts as double points. The area above the baulk line is designated the Powerzone. When the cue ball is in the Powerzone everything potted counts as double (4 x in a Powerplay). There are 9 reds instead of 15. Other than that, it's just plain snooker.

All this talk sounds ludicrous. Even more so when you see who's fronting ITV 4's coverage of this inaugral event. It's Matt Smith's - ITV's jack-of-all-trades, last seen fronting the channel's IPL coverage with some excitable Indian woman, whilst knowing nothing about cricket whatsoever. Peter Drury (of "Champions League when Clive Tyldsley is busy" fame) provided the commentary, alongside actual snooker expert Clive Everton. This disparate team added to the seemingly overworked use of the POWER- prefix did not bode well in my mind. The whole thing was described as being like "Mario Snooker for the Wii" by my perceptive flatmate. I really wanted to dislike it. I actually wanted to hate it.

And yet... I rather enjoyed it. I sat through the quarter-final match between Mark Selby and Ali Carter and saw a popular future for snooker. First came the introductions, the players striding out to Kasabian and Muse respectively, Selby looking as though he'd arrived straight from the Friday night lash, Carter interacting with the crowd dressed in a very yellow shirt. The whole atmosphere was a far cry from the hushed reverance of The Crucible. The audience, described by Drury as "prandial", owing to the early opening of the bar, cheered when the Powerball was sunk and counted down the final ten seconds, causing Carter to miss a relatively simple red. "LOSER!" shouted one presumably tipsy local. Carter smiled and replied with a thumbs-up - Alex Higgins would have dropped the man to the floor in seconds. The lighting and sound effects were all very space age, pointing to the future for a sport with flagging interest. As the game drew to a conclusion, Selby was in desperate need of a quick comeback and proceeded to pot everything with lightning efficiency. Alas, it was not to be on this occasion and it was Carter who took the victory.

Another part of the attraction is the clear discomfort of Drury and Everton every time a player got on the brown. The crowd's cheering and screams of "POT THE BROWN!" were pretty clear cut, yet our esteemed commentary team felt it wise to ignore this and not elude to any anal sex references. One day very soon, somebody will slip. It'll probably be Ron Atkinson.

This remodelling has clearly been based on the template left by Twenty20 cricket (no it's not just another reason for me to bring cricket into all of my posts!). Quicker play, convenient times, music adding to the drama and, clearly most importantly, easy access to the bar. At the moment, it will tend to appear a bit brainless (Selby was booed for playing a perfectly executed safety shot) as new fans adjust to the more traditional aspects of the game, but in time, the players will seek out new ways to exploit the new regulations and snooker will advance much more rapidly after the introduction of this new form of the game. So long as the World Championships are kept as the pinnacle of the game, the sport will succeed, but with a much wider fan-base.

If it ever gets off ITV 4 that is!
RM

Home and Away - The Ashes Tour: Week 1

Let the build-up commence. As of noon today, the England cricket team is on its way Down Under in an attempt to retain the Ashes won so dramatically just over a year ago. Chances are David Boon's record of cans of lager consumed on a flight will not be broken, yet there is a distinct possiblity that England can record their first series victory in the Antipodes for 24 years. At the very least, they'll want a draw which will ensure they kept hold of the urn. In the next four weeks, I'll be profiling the protaganists of both sides and bringing you news of the warm-up matches as well as the Aussies' ODI series against Sri Lanka. We start with the hosts:

Ricky Ponting (captain, RH bat) - The man they call Punter has an immense deal of personal pride and as such will not want to be remembered as the man who captained his side to 3 Ashes defeats. The threat of this slight on his dazzling career should drive him on to great things in this series, although he has shown a weakness in his famous pull shot, holing out regularly over the last 12 months. England wil target him with the short ball.

Michael Clarke (vice-captain, RH bat, SLA bowl) - The Pup has grown into a man. Clarke has been criticised for his form and slow scoring rate in limited overs cricket recently, but responded with a ton against India last week. Is a great player of spin, so will be a key figure in the middle order against Graeme Swann.

Shane Watson (RH bat, RA medium bowl) - The brash blonde all-rounder has been in sublime form with the bat all year, generally always getting starts, if not always converting. Has taken on Matthew Hayden's mantle of getting the scoring rate off to a flier. Anderson and Broad will look to keep things tight and frustrate him into making an early mistake.

Simon Katich (LH bat) - The crabby technique makes him look like a genuine lbw candidate, but Katich's form has been amazing since his return to the Test side. In my mind, the man most likely to stick around when times get tough. Broken thumb might be a problem, but has enough time. Phil Hughes (LH bat) will be the likely deputy and is more than capable, but a less assured figure.

Michael Hussey (LH bat) - Mr Cricket has been quiet of late, seemingly out of form for a good 18 months. However, two incredible innings against Pakistan (in the now infamous Sydney Test and the T20 semi-final) have reminded the world that he remains a dangerous force on his day. Can also play a rearguard role, as demonstrated in a losing cause at the Oval last year.

Marcus North (LH bat, RA offspin bowl) - North is yet to convince at home after 5 centuries abroad. Place seems constantly under scrutiny, but it seems unlikely that the Aussies would throw a rookie into the deep end in such an important series. Offspin bowling is handy and can tie an end down if the opponents aren't careful.

Brad Haddin and Tim Paine (RH bats, wicket keepers) - Paine is the incumbent, Haddin the No.1 returning from long-term injury. Both have legitimate claims to the berth for this series. Haddin is the more flamboyant of the two, capable of spectacular things in both disciplines. Paine is a more steady choice and demonstrated gritty determination in the tough conditions of India. But Haddin will get the nod for the Gabba I feel.

Finally, a word on Westminster Council's lack of fun. Yes, we know the Palace of Westminster is a listed building. It does not matter if the Aussies project an image of their captain and vice, sending a "Bring It On!" message to the Poms. If anything, it captures people's imagination and gets them involved in what is likely to be a classic encounter. They are threatening to sue Cricket Australia the princely sum of £2,500. Pipe down!

Next week - the Aussie bowling options under the spotlight. Plus, day 1 of England's warm-up against Western Australia and the Aussies' first two games against Sri Lanka.
RM

Reader Competition: Think of a Title for this Piece, Win a Hat! *

This is a completely random piece. I just wanted to quickly post some things that struck me as odd over the weekend.

Firstly, Emile Heskey looks good. Really good. In fact, Big Emile has been doing his best Didier Drogba impersonation for the past few weeks now. Ever since Gerard Houllier arrived, Heskey has seemingly become a world class target man. You might think I'm simply overplaying the consequences of a new manager bringing better form out of his players (considering my lads Dumbarton have gotten rid of their boss, it is certainly fresh in my mind!). And you may also think that I am exaggerating a bit how good Emile has really been.

Well, I have watched a lot of football. A LOT. And I had as many doubts about Emile Heskey's ability as the next man. But, genuinely, an in-form Didier Drogba is the best comparison I can draw with the current incarnation of Emile. Over the past weeks, against Sunderland, Chelsea and particularly Spurs, Heskey has been excellent; extremely physical, quick to the ball and aware of his surroundings. In particular, he has been brilliant recieving the ball on the right flank and driving into the box. Younes Kaboul and Benoit Assou-Ekotto, Ashley Cole and the entire Sunderland back four really struggled against him. Fine, his goalscoring touch still hasn't appeared; he could have put two in the net against Sunderland for example. But at the same time, in the Wolves game (Houllier's second in charge) his headed goal was as powerful and as good as you are going to see at any level.

I don't know quite how Houllier and Heskey connect. What is obvious, though, is that their connection now is as strong as ever.

My second, completely unrelated odd observation is from the Edinburgh versus Ulster Magners League rugby clash. Edinburgh won fairly convincingly, although the score could have been closer had Ulster kicker Paddy Wallace been on song. I watched the game on BBC Ulster and thus heard the Ulster commentary team, who by the way are absolutely awful. There was an Australian ex-player who was completely uninteresting (Not just uninteresting. 'Chris Paterson on the sideline' uninteresting) and an Irish commentator. This bloke had no idea who half the players were, or what the referee was whistling up for. And the bias was genuinely too much for me by the second half. But I digress.

Anyway, the Irish bloke comes out and tells us that Wallace is playing in the 10 shirt due to an order from the Irish federation, and that he is the kicker again by order of the IRFU. They apparently have the power to command clubs to play players in certain positions. And so, in spite of having the excellent and mercurial talent of Ruan Pienaar to call on to kick from the tee, the Irish province lost when they could perhaps have won.

I wonder whether the IRFU bigwigs can be happy with that or not.

A final point. Unlike the Irish bloke and his Aussie companion in crime, I found Chris Cusiter to be easy to like when he appeared on BBC Alba's coverage of the Warriors-Ospreys clash. He was as interesting as John Barclay, who was a guest earlier in the year, but was also a lot more chirpy (as one would expect a scrumhalf to be) and thus easier to listen to. He also mentioned the commentators name to all his responses ("Well Hugh Dan...", "Not in my book Hugh Dan..."), which made proceedings seem unnervingly pleasant for what was essentially a night out in Maryhill.

Certainly a lot more genial than the ESPN commentary booth during their rugby coverage. Austin 'Prick' Healey mocks big Ben Kay so much that at some point Kay will simply stand, wrap his massive hands around Healey's head and crush it like an egg shell. It will happen soon...

* Disclaimer: The winner of the Title Contest will recieve a randomly selected hat, subject to competition rules. Please note a £30 postage payment will be required in order to recieve your hat!

GM

The RedZone: Week 7 in the NFL

Ryan's Top 5

5. Reggie Hodges - 1 carry, 68 yards. As anyone who has ever played me on Madden will tell you, I love trick plays. Seeing as the Packers Fake FG Pass failed, I go instead to the Browns and their punters fake out followed by a run through the sizeable hole through the Saints defense. Yes the drive only resulted in a FG in a surprise 30-17 victory, but watching a punter do a RB's job on 4th down was magnificent to watch!

4. Dez Bryant - 4 catches, 54 yards, 2 TD's; 93-yard punt return for a TD. His mother may (or may not) be a whore, but boy is this lad worth the negative press. The Cowboys may have fallen to 1-5 with a 41-35 capitulation against the Giants, but it hasn't been for lack of want from Bryant. Unfortunately with Tony Romo's placing on the IR list imminent, you suspect that with John Kitna under centre, Bryant will be spending most of his rookie season impressing as a PR, rather than a WR!

3. Kenny Britt - 7 catches, 225 yards, 3 TD's. After a truly forgettable week which involved getting into a little bit of a scrap in a nightclub and subsequently being benched for the start of the Titans 37-19 victory over the Eagles, Britt managed to put all of the bad karma behind him and come out with a career day. Having been consistently productive throughout Tennessee's impressive start to the season (5-2), Britt went one step further and shredded the Birds' secondary in the 4th quarter. He has been Vince Young's and Kerry Collins' go-to-guy thus far - he'll probably attract tougher coverage in future weeks.

=1. DeAngelo Hall - 7 tackles, 4 INT's. A truly amazing performance, tying the All-Time NFL record for a single game. Prime's "BABY" went hawking after Chicago's Jay Cutler, who again looked shaky with leaden feet and a crumbling O-Line. He doesn't just try to defend passes, he gambles everything and goes for the pick. This weekend, it paid off for the Redskins. Hall capped off his day by taking one pick 92 yards back to the house. As for the Bears - well, you're pretty much doomed when your franchise QB tosses 4 picks. They lost 17-14.

=1. Darren McFadden - 16 carries, 165 yards, 3 TD's; 2 catches, 31 yards, 1 TD. Where did this come from? McFadden has looked decent in parts this season, but never would you have put the Raiders blowing out the Broncos 59-14 on the road (a franchise record points scored). The Broncos leave for Wembley with their tails firmly between their legs having been unable to contain the Jason Campbell-led offense. In the first half alone, Oakland piled up 38 points before Denver managed to get onto the board.

Graeme's Top 5

5. Mike Williams - 11 catches, 87 yards, 1 TD - This week I'm giving all my awards to the guys that really deserve recognition from this column; blokes who have been crap for most of their careers but pulled one out of the bag when it counted. First up is Mike Williams. Anyone who has followed the Detroit Lions for the past decade will be aware of their absolutely terrible record of drafting bust wide recievers in the first round (P.S. Calvin Johnson was so obviously brilliant that an idiot could have drafted him. And did). Mike was drafted 10th overall and was overweight, lazy and hopeless. After being released, he bumped around the league and ended up sitting at home with no teams interested. Except the Seahawks and coach Pete Carroll, Williams' coach at USC. I don't know what Carroll says to Mike, but it certainly makes him perform as he seems to now be playing like the talent he was predicted to be. On form, and at 6'5" and 235 pounds, he is almost unguardable.

4. Todd Bouman - 18/34. 222 yards, 2 TD's- Fine, he lost to the Chiefs, and fine he threw a pick 6. But that was one of only three mistakes Bouman made playing a decent team in a hostile stadium. Not bad for a 38 year old who has been cut and re-signed by the Jags three times prior to this year, was cut again this season and was only brought back a week ago due to injuries to everyone else.

3. David Bowens - 2 INT's, 2 TD's - Yes, Ex-Saint Scott Fujita had the better day (with 11 tackles, a pick and a sack), but when you're a journeyman outside linebacker/ end playing for your 6th team and you get 2 pick 6's against Drew Brees you get on The RedZone!

2. The Titans' O-Line - let Kerry Collins throw for 276 yards, 3 TD's - Collins has the mobility of a medium sized rock, and will thus be sacked at least 3 or 4 times a game (3 in this game). However, for the most part the dangerous Eagles pass rush got nowhere near the old bloke under centre, who aside from the sacks was not hit at all, allowing him to light it up to Kenny Britt.

1. The Raiders' O-Line - Darren McFadden rushed for 165 yards and 3 TD's behind them, Jason Campbell threw for 202 yards, 2 TD's and only two sacks! - The Oakland Raiders' offensive linemen are exactly the kind of players this column seeks to praise. They were completely dominant against the Broncos. And I don't care what team they were playing, the Oakland line dominating anyone is an event unheard of for at least the past 7 years. Draft bust Robert Gallery, journeymen Cooper Carlisle and Khalif Barnes, unwanted Samson Satele and no-hoper Mario Henderson; this writer salutes your rare display of competence.

GM

Tackling issues killing off defensive excellence

Two sports, both alike in dignity. Both plagued by very similar issues. We'll ignore the star-crossed moneygrabbers Wayne Rooney and Vincent Jackson from the footballs Association and American respectively, and instead examine the issue of tackling, which has caused great divisions of opinion in both sports in the last month. In an effort to improve player safety, the NFL has started imposing hefty fines for what it deems to be illegal hits, whereas the British media has gone crazy for the spate of hefty challenges produced by the likes of Nigel de Jong and Karl Henry, to name but a few. Many people have applauded the efforts to stamp out these risky situations. I however do not.

Whatever sport you follow, you like to see and even match, be it between bat and ball, Federer and Nadal or, in this case, offense and defense. Every classic encounter in any sport worth remembering features a fine balance, decided on key moments that tip the scales one way or the other. If the authorities begin imposing themselves on one party, the likelihood of such tension occuring is minimised. Take Test cricket for example - for the most part on the sub-continent, matches are played on flat and slow wickets, allowing the batsmen to boost their averages, whilst the bowlers toil and pick up niggling injuries in the heat. Modern day groundsmen have tilted the balance towards the bat. In the same way, both FIFA and the NFL are hampering defensive play.

Don't get me wrong - I don't like seeing players get hurt, least of all when it is the fault of a fellow professional. But sometimes, a little perspective should be saught. Take de Jong's challenge on Hatem Ben Arfa for example. Yes, it was a hefty challenge, yes, it is unfortunate that Ben Arfa's leg was broken but it was a fair challenge and one where de Jong took the ball. The referee was right not to penalise de Jong. Yet he has been villified (possibly owing in part to his previous track record) for hurting a so-called "creative player". The reality is this - accidents happen. We should not go so far as absolving the likes of Martin Taylor from blame, that tackle on Eduardo remains unwatchable to this day. But to jump down the throat of a player who has actually done nothing than show commitment and skill in winning a tackle is wrong. To drop him from the national side for his "behaviour" was disgraceful, particularly when Bert van Marwijk has abandoned the Total Football principle and built a team of hardmen around de Jong. If we insist upon punishing every tackle that injures a player, fair or not, we run the risk of losing the contact element of football. The same holds true in the NFL. Dunta Robinson of Atlanta was fined $50,000 for a massive hit than concussed the Eagles' DeSean Jackson. Now, normally I wouldn't have a great deal of sympathy with Robinson, but a fair hit is a fair hit. Jackson's (and Robinson's) injury was simply an unfortunate consequence of a game in which risk is involved. If you flag every single play that ends in a violent but fair hit, you'll have every single defense backed up against their own goal line for most of the game and some impoverished DB's.

Not that the case for the defense has been helped by various soundbites from around the respective leagues. James Harrison, LB for the Pittsburgh Steelers, came out after concussing Mohammad Massaquoi and Josh Cribbs of the Browns and said "I don't aim to injure players but I aim to hurt them". Unwise in these politically correct days of censure. It landed Harrison a $75,000 fine, driving him to thoughts of early retirement. Which obviously was never going to happen while he stands a chance of another Superbowl Ring. Before that came the finger of blame pointed by Fulham's Danny Murphy at Blackburn, Wolves and Stoke. Which didn't go down too well. These teams are not blessed with any creative geniuses but must find a way to survive in the field of riches that is the Premiership. The best way for them to utilise their resources is to play hard and disrupt the creative flow of superior opposition.

So long as this is done legally and fairly, I see no reason to change any rules in either sport. It's tactics like these that allow underdogs to prevail. No matter how "functional" it looks!
RM

Running Man Rooney Will Find No Comfort In Change

What is Wayne Rooney leaving behind? Why does he desire so strongly to leave Manchester United, and why are Manchester City and Chelsea linked with him?

Rooney's stance, that he will not sign on at Man United and will look to leave, comes with too many questions attatched. All we can do is speculate as to who or what exactly has triggered this new-found desire to flee the Red Devils.

The off-field baggage Rooney is carrying seems to be a combination of a failure to recover mentally from his pathetic World Cup efforts, and a complete failure to deal with the controversy, true or manufactured, surrounding his marriage.

What this has to do with Manchester United I have no idea. There is no connection between the club and any of Rooney's problems. Unless there has been a fundamental failure by Sir Alex Ferguson and the club's negotiators to support and empathise with Rooney, then there are no grounds which can properly justify his stance of seeking to move.

Of course he has a choice, but he also chose to express his love for United and to swear that he would stay for life. He has heaped praise on Ferguson and has never voiced any complaints about mistreatment, by Ferguson or otherwise.

Does he think that by leaving United his problems will be left behind at Old Trafford? Is he really so deluded that he cannot see the inevitable escalation of criticism and media intervention that a move to any other English club would bring? Or does he really think that moving himself to Madrid or Milan will help; he can't speak the language, he struggles outside of his Northern comfort zone, will he be able to bring his wife and child or any family with him?

It seems that whoever is there to safeguard his career and his mental wellbeing is failing grossly at their task. Either Rooney is following his own snap decision to try and run from his problems like a child, in which case that advisor should be telling him to reconsider, or else said advisor is the one pushing the idea on the player, in which case they are clearly an narrow-minded imbecile.

Sir Alex spoke on the BBC website (calm down, not directly TO the BBC, simply to MUFCTV and subsequently posted by the BBC) on the issue, where he revealed that he has had face to face talks with Wayne, in which he reiterated his desire to leave. Ferguson, understandably, seems genuinely upset by the prospect of Rooney leaving, and I believe that this is due to the fact that he knows that Wayne will only go downhill if he leaves, and that Ferguson and the Man U organisation are best placed to help the clearly tormented star.

Manchester United have a reputation for developing and maintaining strong relationships between players and the manager, and seem to be very involved when to comes to sorting out problems. For example, they long have had a policy whereby they aid new arrivals in finding suitable homes to buy close to like minded teammates, and otherwise help them integrate.

Ferguson we assume, as there has been no evidence to indicate otherwise, has the longest, closest and best working relationship with Rooney. Why on earth Wayne wishes to forsake all this support for the lonely road is a mystery.

GM

The RedZone: Week 6 in the NFL

Ryan's Top 5

5. Steven Jackson - 29 carries, 109 yards, 1 TD. It's beginning to become clear that the Rams genuinely have a chance in the NFC West. Not because they're playing mindblowingly good football, just because everybody else is playing as averagely as them! However, a solid 20-17 home win against the Chargers is not to be taken lightly. Jackson ran them ragged all day with his first big game of the season, showing that the pressure is not squarely on Sam Bradford's shoulders to make things happen. For Norv Turner's Chargers, the realisation that, even with Marcus McNeill back, they cannot adequately protect Philip Rivers (7 sacks in all) must feel ominous!

4. Roman Harper - 7 tackles, 2 FF's. A week before the return of Darren Sharper, his partner-in-crime at safety, Harper put in a big hitting show to ease the pressure on Drew Brees and the New Orleans Saints offense. By shutting down a vibrant Buccaneers offense in a 31-6 road win, Brees was able to return to his best, spreading the ball to various receivers and making use of undrafted rookie Chris Ivory in the backfield, who had a career day.

3. Andre Johnson - 8 catches, 138 yards, 1 TD in the dying stages. There has been so much talk of Johnson not being 100%, a dodgy ankle keeping him way short of his best and his status perpetually in doubt. There was little evidence in the 4th quarter here, as Johnson and Matt Schaub rallied for yet another comeback victory, 35-31 against the Chiefs. Schaub targetted Johnson no less than 5 times on the final game-winning drive, as they marched 80 yards up the field for victory, after their shoddy pass defense was earlier embarrassed by Chiefs' LB Mike Vrabel hauling in a TD catch from Matt Cassel!

2. Cameron Wake - 3 tackles, 3 sacks. What's the best way to deal with a star QB returning from a concussion? Wake provided the answer by hitting Aaron Rodgers constantly in the Dolphins' 23-20 OT victory against the clearly overrated Packers at Lambeau. Although Rodgers still threw for over 300 yards, his completion percentage was way down on his very best, which will disappoint him. Chad Henne blew more hot than cold on this occasion, which was enough for Miami to claim the spoils.

1. The Eagles offense - Kevin Kolb - 23/29, 326 yards, 3 TD's, 1 INT; Jeremy Maclin - 7 catches, 159 yards, 2 TD's; DeSean Jackson - 2 carries, 44 yards, 1 TD, 1 catch, 34 yards, 1 TD. This is what I'm talking about! Atlanta went into this game touted as one of the very best in the NFL right now, certainly the team to beat in the NFC. They left with that reputation in tatters as they were comfortably outplayed by a young Eagles outfit in a 31-17 defeat. It's clear now that you do not need a great QB like Donovan McNabb under centre, when you have receivers like Maclin and Jackson who can make things happen at any time. Kolb will never be as good as McNabb, but he has the weapons to be as effective. The same for Michael Vick, whoever gets the job against the Titans in week 7. Jackson started off as lead playmaker with an end-around rush and TD grab before a nasty collision with Falcons CB Dunta Robinson concussed him. Maclin then stepped up and finished the job.

Dysfunctionality has no place in cricket

In an attempt to be more cutting edge, here is an immediate response to the news that Chris Gayle has been "sacked" as West Indian captain and replaced with Darren Sammy. This decision is one that should either have been made a good while ago or not made at all. The fact that it has been announced as part of a team selection for a tour to Sri Lanka typifies the lack of tact than runs through the WICB. Despite Gayle making noises for such a long period of time about Test cricket dying out ("I wouldn't be sorry to see the end of it") and rejecting a central contract to effectively go mercenary in search of IPL riches, he has been persisted with as skipper right up until this point. And you can see the logic - as a batsman, he can win matches on his own and frequently has done, as well as being a wicket taker with the ball and a solid fielder. As far as leading from example goes, Gayle is the best man for the job.

Sammy is less flamboyant. Yes, he can hit the ball a long way but with much less regularity than Gayle - as a batsman, his technique is questionable at best. His bowling is nothing more than military medium, but again does a job. He is far less likely to win matches for the Windies than Gayle. And yet, in the long-term, this appointment stands do bring far more success than the previous regime. This is because of Gayle's big mouth and individualistic approach. To see your captain behaving in such a way acts as a disruption in the dressing room and ensures that the focus in on off-the-field matters, rather than the next delivery faced or bowled.

Believe me when I say that cricket is a game won mostly in the mind. I am a cricketer of exceptionally limited talent. Naturally, I therefore bowl left-arm spin. My profound belief that I am mentally tougher than the batsman facing me means that I over-achieve. No matter what goes before, be it a play-and-miss or a slog for six, I believe that the next ball will be my moment. And I occasionally turn out to be right. Let your head drop, and matters get worse. Obviously this example needs to be extrapolated a great deal to reach the international scene, but the West Indies have not looked mentally sharp for a long while now. Like Pakistan, they seem a ball away from a batting collapse and when opponents put together a partnership (reference Trott and Broad this summer), they never look like taking a wicket. The body language of your opponents tell you a great deal - you either fear it or feast upon it.

One team who has come out of the other side of a crisis is Zimbabwe. Now they've been beaten in all three matches by a clearly superior South African side in their current series, but from where they've been, it's the performance that counts. And whilst the bowling has looked a long way short of the required standard, their batting has been more than a match for the Proteas. Gone are the distractions of political interference (for now) as are the pressures for the team to fulfill the requirements of the ICC's Future Tours Programme. By withdrawing from Test cricket in 2005, they have given themselves the opportunity to rebuild. Now, veterans such as Tatenda Taibu and Grant Flower return to the side with the wisdom they have gained elsewhere, alongside exciting new talent, such as the ludicrously talented opening batsman/keeper/occasional off-spinner Brendan Taylor. They'll be back soon. And all because the off-field distractions have been taken away and they have given themselves time to rehabilitate.

Here's hoping that Sammy can reunite the Windies and that the WICB make the difficult decisions right when they need to be made. Failing that, it's probably best to bury your head and run with what you've got, rather than backtracking and looking like morons. Again.
RM

We Stand Together... but where exactly?

I had my first proper taste of international football at Hampden on Tuesday night. What happened was essentially a re-run of everything I have experienced as a Scottish football fan over twenty years, with added atmosphere by the bucketloads. If qualifying for major tournaments was decided on the passion, knowledge and noise of the crowd, we would have had to wait less than what now appears to be at least 16 years without a finals appearence. But hey, that's not how it works - you actually have to play a bit as well.

I say that the Spain match was like a re-run. That can be extended to last Friday's debacle in Prague, now known as 4-6-0-gate. Any Scotland fan is familiar with the way that we seem to pull out a big performance against teams such as the World Champions, only to fall gallantly short. Reference recent performances against Italy and Holland, the France double-header being the exception, but look at the state of them now. Admittedly, Spain were wasteful and Allan McGregor was exceptional, but a lot of heart can be taken from the way we bounced back from 2-0 to fleetingly level, particularly after the hammer blow of conceding a penalty late in the first half. It is clear that this group of players have heart and soul, if not the technical flair of their opponents. National pride is one thing, but professionalism is another. Why on earth do they only seem to get themselves up for "big games", whilst looking utterly bereft of ideas against the archetypal "diddy teams", such as Lithuania and Liechtenstein. True, the players were very much victims of Craig Levein's system against the Czechs but it was still excruciating viewing and ultimately the aesthetic displeasure didn't work!

With almost a year until our next competetive fixture against the Czechs at Hampden, it is impossible to project the way the side will line up and perform. It's hard enough when the gap is four days! However, from a situation where we have statistically gained nothing, there have been some positives, giving the supporters some hope that we may become a stable squad - one capable of finding the holy grail of championship football. It is abundantly clear that Darren Fletcher requires players around him for his natural box-to-box game to flourish, someone to sit deep and display a full range of passes. Like Paul Scholes. Or Barry Ferguson. But not Lee McCulloch. The other midfielders, James Morrison, Graham Dorrans and particularly Stevie Naismith showed skill, vision and a little bit of pace on the rare occasions we got forward and were also willing to track back and nullify the threat the Spanish posed. But still - we need a player in the hole to actually link play with the lone striker, be it Kenny Miller or nobody or whatever. I can vouch for Dorrans in that role - he started as a striker in the centre of the youth academy world (Almondvale) before Livi and West Brom shifted him to the wing and centre-mid repsectively. That allows Morrison and Naismith to play on the wings, with Charlie Adam doing Fletcher's dirty work. A 4-4-1-1 as opposed to 4-5-1.

Whilst we're on the lone striker subject, how many more chances is Kenny Miller going to waste? Form for Rangers against the collective might of St Mirren, Hamilton and Kilmarnock is not an indicator of quality, just a striker's thirst for goals. Yes he will run around, pester defenders and "put in a good shift" but his finishing, Liechtenstein apart, has been mostly woeful for the past 3 or 4 years. And let me tell you, that 90 minutes of international football is in no way a "good shift". 69 days down a mine is a good shift. If we're going to play a guy in the hole, does that mean we can get rid of Kenny? Will Steven Fletcher stay fit to bring his wider skill set to the party? As I say, a year is a long time in football, many of these issues discussed are subject to so many variables. I'm just proving my credentials for when the SFA stumbles across this blog and has no-one else to turn to.

Another positive from Tuesday's defeat is that Steven Whittaker got sent off and is therefore suspended from the September 3rd game. He was dogshite against Spain, displaying the touch of an elephant and the vision of a bat (sorry for the multiple animal metaphors btw, I just feel very strongly about this). I was speaking to Graeme after the game about potential replacements at left-back. In short, there are none. Such is the dearth of ability at that position, we were reminiscing about the days of Gary Naysmith. But anything is better than Whittaker. This is when you realise how sad it was that John Kennedy's career got cut short. We have depth between the sticks, which is good because we need it whilst Weir, McManus and Caldwell are in situ. Which they inevitably will be next year.

So there you go Craig. A blueprint looking forward, all being well. Take it or leave it. Just start firing them up for the smaller games in the same way you manage it for the Spains of this world.
RM

Liverpool Farce Illustrates The Many Faces Of Facelessness

I almost feel sorry for Tom Hicks and George Gillett. The events that have unfolded around Liverpool FC these past few days probably would not have happened back in the States.

At the end of a long saga of speculation and a brief High Court hearing, the two co-owners of Liverpool have been ousted. Completely against their will, they have now lost millions of pounds/dollars and have nothing to show from it.

From a pure market perspective, they chose Liverpool as a place to put their investment. They chose very, very badly. They lost money; such is the nature of shares and PLC's and profit margins.

But this is of course a football club we are talking about. A rare business entity in which it is blindingly obvious to the public whenever things go wrong. A football club losing money is, in every sense, a loser. It is manifest in the personel department, when players are sold through necessity, and it shows on the pitch when inferior playing talent fails to meet expectations. Like algae on trees change colour with pollution, so Stephen Gerrard's performance worsening acts as an indicator of ownership crisis.

The problem here is that the macro and micro scales of a football club, i.e. the ownership situation, the sponserships and the revenue, contrasted with the day to day production of the product being sold (the performance of the football team), are intrisically linked and yet completely independent of one another. In the loosest terms, a football club able to break even, creating no profit, will be able to keep up a certain level of spending on players and manager that will ensure relative success but as a business it will be on dubious grounds unless it starts to actually make money.

Too often in the Premier League clubs are bought and investments are made that have no realistic plan to them. In order to please fans, prospective new owners have to emphasise their commitment to winning, to spending money in order to sign and pay the wages of the best players. Eventually though, even the most mental/ committed supporter-investor will let his businessman side tell him that simply throwing money into a football club is unsustainable. Roman Abramovich bought and spent on Chelsea because he wanted to own a successful team on the pitch, but even he now feels the need to ensure they pay back his loans.

Gillett and Hicks were mainly businessmen, and so were out to create money. If they did it over 5-6 months or 5-6 years is irrelevant, the return would be the same. The short-termism of actual football, of 2-0 home wins and Europa League clashes in Turkey, and the bleats of supporters, the cries for investment in the team and for immediate success meant that someone was going to walk away with their hopes dashed.

In the end, the American pair did not have nearly enough money to remain committed to spending on players and new stadiums while at the same time hoping to get any meaningful return out of the club. Their solution, to take out those short term loans from RBS, was in hindsight monumentally misguided. Gillett defaulted on his £75 million loan, Hicks attempted to sell out, both tried to breach contract and replace the board of directors in order to sell the club on more favourable terms. The Court backed the board. And so they are out.

Which brings us to the new owners of the Reds, the NESV consortium fronted by cigar affecionado John W. Henry. Their first statement after buying the club was directed to the fans:

"We are committed first and foremost to winning. We have a history of winning, and today we want Liverpool supporters to know that this approach is what we intend to bring to this great club."

The cycle seems to be starting again. What makes NESV more likely to run the club any better than Hicks and Gillett? What guarantees their medium to long term investment in the club, and what is preventing this entire debacle from occuring again in whatever shape or form one year or two from now?

These investors are as faceless as Hicks and Gillett, and every other apparent tycoon from Hong Kong that was linked with the takeover. Yes, we know their names, and we learn of their appearance once the takeover occurs and they line up holding club scarves on in front of the Kop . But do we know their motives, their committment, their actual wealth?

We will only find out, it seems, after the damage has been done.

GM

The RedZone: Week 5 in the NFL

Ryan's Top 5

5. Terrell Owens - 7 catches, 102 yards, 1 TD. The Bengals may be struggling for momentum as a team, but T.O has been carrying the offense, with Chad Ochocinco and Cedric Benson looking much less effective compared to last year, probably due to Carson Palmer's continuing decline. Any perceived "personality issues" that Owens' has should be disregarded when you look at the impact he has had so far this season, although it wasn't enough on this occasion to prevent a 24-21 reverse at home to the Bucs.

4. Quintin Mikell - 8 tackles, 2 fumble recoveries, 1 for a TD. With Asante Samuel concussed, it was important that the rest of the Eagles secondary stood up and made some big plays - not a difficult task when faced with Alex Smith and the woeful 49ers. It was Mikell who shone the brightest. Rookie Brandon Graham exploited Smith's concrete feet to sack him, allowing Mikell to scoop up the ball and return it to the house for a decisive score in a 27-24 victory.

3. Ray Rice - 27 carries, 133 yards, 2 TD's; 4 catches, 26 yards. When fit, there is no finer site than Ray Rice running for the Ravens from Rutgers. Injuries have taken their toll so far this season, but this was a true return to form in a 31-17 win over the Broncos. Joe Flacco and his receivers have been picking up the slack whilst Rice has been nursed through the first few games. Now he's back, that Baltimore offense looks good. Really good.

2. Matt Forte - 22 carries, 166 yards, 2 TD's; 2 catches, 22 yards. Another team who needed a big name to step up in the absence of another. With Jay Cutler still feeling the effects of the Giants' pass rush, the Bears had to turn to Todd Collins as their starting QB against Carolina. He was shocking, even worse than Carolina's offering of Jimmy Clausen followed by Matt Moore. When a QB throws 4 picks, you need a miracle from your offense to acheive success (and terrible opposition - as the Panthers are). Forte was that man, once again displaying a new found maturity and big-game mentality. The Bears won 23-6

1. Shaun Hill - 21/32, 227 yards, 3 TD's - the Lions deserved better than the 0-4 record they held as they faced the Rams on Sunday. Their opponents were riding high on a wave of optimism, after two straight wins amid signs that their defence and Sam Bradford could eventually take them places. Hill blew them out of the water in a 44-6 battering. He has far from disgraced himself since covering for the injured Matthew Stafford. What is particularly impressive is how he targeted 7 different receivers fairly evenly, without relying solely on Calvin Johnson.


Graeme's Top 5

5. Tony Romo - 31/46, 406 yards, 3 TD's - Yes, he threw 3 picks and yes the Cowboys lost. But Romo in the main played with great poise, especially considering the meltdown that occured around him. 2 of his INT's were not his fault, he took 6 sacks and his teammates were more concerned with increasing the penalty count than helping him out.

4. LaRon Landry - 13 tackles, 1 forced fumble, 1 INT - The forced fumble killed a Packers drive and set up a score for Washington. The INT, in overtime, won the game. For an undoubtedly gifted player (formed 6th overall draft pick after all), Landry lost his way somewhat with Jim Zorn and Greg Blache, but new DC Jim Haslett has him back in the fast lane.

3. Giants Defence - Limited Texans to 24 yards rushing (Texans franchise low) and 171 yards passing with no TD's through the air - Big Blue came together against the seemingly broken Texans, with the offense alive and well in the hands of Manning E. , Nicks and Bradshaw. But it was the defensive effort that made this a convincing win for New York. The Texans offense were completely nulified.

2. Lady Luck in Arizona - 2 fumbles by Max Hall, 2 Turnovers by the Saints - With rookie Hall starting at QB, and being asked to do a bit too much by the coaches, there were bound to be some mistakes made. The fumbles, though, were blessings in disguise as they were both recovered by Arizona linemen, one by Alan Faneca for a key first down, one by Levi Brown for a TD. The Saints two turnovers, a fumble and an INT, were both returned by the Cardinals D for scores to allow Arizona to scrap to a win.

1. Josh Freeman - 20/33, 280 yards, 1 TD - An away win against the reigning AFC North champions is no mean feat, and it shows that this young Tampa outfit, while perhaps not legitimate this year, are undoubtedly on the right track to something great. Freeman continues to improve and justify Ryan and myself's belief in him. The throw to Spurlock to set up the winning Connor Barth field goal was seemingly came from a different plane of existance to the rest of us mortals.

FavreWatch - 14/34, 264 yards, 3 TD's, 1 INT - completion % shows a man with a mind elsewhere perhaps? You know you're out of form when calls are made for Tarvaris Jackson to replace you!

GM and RM

Like a Mad Octopus: The State of Scottish Rugby This Month

This should become a monthly feature, basically as an opinion piece giving my take on the often-ignored world of Scottish rugby. It will depend on whether or not I can make Scottish rugby sufficiently interesting for more than one month. Here goes then...

The Club Scene

Edinburgh (9th in the Magners League) have put in some decent performances against the better teams in the league (Munster, Cardiff, Leinster), but have lost most of those games anyway. They barely beat Aironi in Italy, but that was forgivable given the Italians' status as unknowns. Talk of the capital side finishing near the bottom of the league seems premature then, especially considering the Burgh are notoriously inconsistent at the best of times. The loss of Phil Godman, while a godsend for Scotland, means that the Blair Brothers Variety Show is now forced to become the headline act. Alex B remains mainly an asset for use in future years, leaving David as the only real option at 10. He hasn't proved strong enough so far, but maybe he'll grow into it. Tim Visser has been ace, and I am counting down the days until he is eligible for the national side. Other than him though, the backs aren't that threatening (the centres are far too same-y). The pack has been not bad though, and will improve. Ross Rennie coming back will be great provided he doesn't succumb to yet more injury.

As for Glasgow (10th in the league), their indifferent start can be ignored due to the number of absentees in their squad. While their form does suggest that perhaps team depth isn't what it could be, at the end of the day any team coming to terms with it's top 10 and blindside leaving while being without their starting international captain, scrumhalf, tighthead and number 8 could be in a better position. When, respectively, Kellock, Cusiter, Low, and Beattie return this team can get back to playing the style it wants to. The new additions (Aramburu, Pyrgos, Ryder, O'Toole etc) seem to be not bad as depth. Playing as starters though, they did manage to lose badly to Newport away and then to Connacht at Firhill. With a bit more experience though, they were able to beat Newport in the Heineken Cup last night (while the rest of Scotland were somewhat preoccupied by events in Prague). Provided the injured lads get back quickly, the Warriors should climb the table in the next few months. As long as Duncan Weir and Rhuiridh Jackson don't both cock up at the same time that is.

The National Side

Not much to report in this edition, as the Autumn Tests are yet to arrive. We can be happy that some of the New Zealanders have pulled out of their squad, and that the current South Africans couldn't beat up on an anti-apartheid protester, let alone a decent international side with home advantage.

I'd assume Coach Robinson has no issues with playing Kelly Brown now that he's down in England (he doesn't with Strokosch anyway), so two of the three Killer B's should be present in the backrow. It'll be interesting whether Roddy Grant gets a shot at playing 8, or if the more likely candidate Richie Vernon is first choice. Euan Murray is back in the squad as is Jason White (as far as I'm aware), so I wonder who will play second row; Hines is a shoo-in, but who of Scott MacLeod, Richie Grey and White do you trust against two of the worlds top teams?

Dan the Man Parks now cannot get injured as there is no longer the admittedly useless body of Godman to fill in. Mike Blair has a shot at becoming starting 9 again (he is still joint captain after all), but Rory Lawson's previous form suggests he'd probably be a better choice. In an occcurance rarer than Haley's Comet, both the Lamont brothers are fit and healthy. I hope they both start, and survive to start again.

Finally, a quick shout out goes to the Scotland 7's side, featuring fellow Glasgow Hawk Mike Adamson, currently preparing for their opening games in Dehli.

Lad Awards for September

Most Laddish Forward: Ross Rennie for coming back from injury once again, in spite of now possessing no working knee ligaments.

Most 'Laddish' (NB: backs cannot be true Lads) Back: Graeme Morrison, for not screwing up a brilliant attacking move at any point so far.

Phil Godman Award for Uselessness: Esteban Lozada, for concussing himself after about 3 minutes for no real reason, delaying the game for 20 minutes and forcing us to watch Craig Hamilton thereafter.

LAD of the Month: The Try-tastic Tim Visser (below. Picture taken immediately after kick to testicles).

GM (with thanks the the great Bill McLaren for providing the title)

Graeme's Take on the Commonwealth Games

Quick update: I have not taken the slightest bit of interest in the Games whatsoever.

Therefore, I will not be writing any more about them. As a sports blogger, I have to at least confirm that they are happening right now. But I genuinely don't care about any of it (it's hardly the World Athletics Championships, or any other event which good athletes deem important and non health-threatening enough to attend).

GM

The RedZone: Week 4 in the NFL

Ryan's Top 5

5. Giants' pass rush - Justin Tuck - 7 tackles, 3 sacks, 1 FF; Osi Umenyiora - 3 tackles, 1 assist, 3 sacks, 2 INT's. Having played terribly the whole season so far, the Giant's D came out big style against the Bears in a 17-3 victory, spoiling Chicago's unbeaten start. 10 sacks were recorded in all as Jay Cutler was once again exposed by a fallible offensive line. Unlike against the Cowboys, he was not able to find ways around it and left the game at the half with a concussion.

4. Ravens' defensive stars - Haloti Ngata - 8 tackles, 3 assists, 1 sack; Ray Lewis - 7 tackles, 2 assists, 1 INT. Another game, another perfect record ruined, this time the Steelers in a 17-14 reverse. That came thanks to a late TJ Houshmandzadeh TD but the main work was done on the ground, stopping Rashard Mendenhall getting away for big gains and Charlie Batch continuing what amounts to not quite an Indian summer, maybe a Bangladeshi summer...

3. Heroic kickers - I want it known that I came up with this idea before Deion aired it on Primetime. However, I have no proof so on we go. Matt Bryant (Falcons vs 49ers, 42 yds with 2 seconds left in 16-14 win), John Carney (Saints vs Panthers, 25 yds with 3:55 left in 16-14 win) and Josh Scobee (Jaguars vs Colts, 59 yds as time expired in 31-28 win) can all take a bow. It's not often these guys get the limelight (not that this constitutes limelight)

2. Sam Bradford - 23/41, 289 yards, 2 TD's, 1 INT. The number 1 pick has now led the Rams to two straight wins, more than they managed overall last year. Steve Spagnuolo has trusted his young leader to throw the ball, even without an out-and-out lead receiver. Throw in a half-fit RB in Steven Jackson and this 20-3 divisional victory over the Seahawks looks all the more impressive. Things are looking promising for the young QB.

1. LaDanian Tomlinson - 19 carries, 133 yards, 2 TD's; 3 receptions, 22 yards. Now THIS could be the start of an Indian summer. The Jets offense continued to impress in a 38-14 pounding of the abysmal Buffalo Bills, but it was the renaissance of LT that particularly caught the eye. This was the first time since 2008 where he carried for over 100 yards in a game. He appears revitalised since his move from San Diego and is even keeping hot prospect Shonn Greene on the sidelines a lot of the time, rather than playing the backup role that was expected of him on his arrival.

Graeme's Top 5

5. San Diego Defence - 9 sacks, 2 INT's, 1 Pick 6, 1 Forced Fumble, limited Arizona to 124 total yards - The team from the city named after a whale's vagina simply routed the miserable looking Cardinals, whose big play offense struggled to even play mediocre football.

4. Peyton Hillis - 27 carries, 102 yards, 1 TD - He's a white man, and he rushed for 100 yards. He gets in automatically (much like Deion gets to put people in automatically, so do I. I'm just way less cool than him). The fact that he has been consistently dismissed throughout his career (as being slow, merely a fullback and, well, white) and that his performance against a decent Bengals D got the Browns their first win help as well.

3. Kyle Orton - 35/50, 341 yards, 2 TD's - Orton is the entire Broncos Offense. He got absolutely no help whatsoever from the run game (well, not nothing. The perpetually awful Lawrence Maroney netted a whole 5 yards on only 11 carries!). In fact, Orton was the Broncos' leading rusher, as well as dragging the team to a good road win against the Titans that they really shouldn't have gotten.

2. Patriots' Special Teams - 1 Kickoff return TD, 1 blocked punt, 1 blocked kick - The Pats reminded us all of the importance of the often-mocked special teams unit. Ben Tate showed his speed has returned following his ACL injury by returning the second half kickoff 103 yards for a TD, and Safety Pat Chung blocked a punt (resulting in a Pats TD) then also got in front of a field goal (which was returned for another Pats TD). To top it off, he also got a pick 6 on D for yet another Pats TD (Rob Ninkovich's 2 INT'S deserve a mention on the side as well). The Special teams' performance resulted in a rout, and the immediate firing of the Dolphins Special Teams coach.

1. Jaguars O-Line - the Jags have lost to the Colts enough to know what to expect from them. This week, though, they were finally able to do something about it. The speed crazed Colts pass rush could not get near David Garrard, and the QB was able to demonsrate the accurate arm and decent mobility he can exploit when not constantly getting hit or sacked. The young pair of tackles, Eben Britton and Eugene Monroe, did not concede a sack and rarely let Colts Ends Freeney and Mathis anywhere near their QB. As an entire unit, the line also gave Pocket Hercules, Maurice Jones-Drew, exemplary run blocking and allowed him to top 100 yards.

GM and RM

Ten Things We Learned During the Ryder Cup

1. Foursomes is better than fourballs - there is no place to hide when you have two balls and four players. If you consistently shank the ball anywhere but the fairway, both you and your partner will suffer. The games move on quicker and are the greatest test of teamwork. Europe benefitted from the form of Ross Fisher when Padraig Harrington struggled in the fourballs because the best individual score counts towards the team, whereas the USA suffered whenever Phil Mickelson addressed the ball.

2. Rain can actually be of benefit - the necessary format changes after the deluges on Days 1 and 3 actually made for a compelling weekend. In particular, Day 2 with the completion of the first round of fourballs followed by 6 foursomes, meaning that all 12 from each side had to turn out for three rounds of golf, making captaincy a relative formality and once again, giving nobody a place to hide

3. Ian Poulter might have had a point - "Just me and Tiger" he said. The famous Poulter foot-in-mouth scenario deepened as he and Fisher fell to Woods and Steve Stricker in the opening round, but from then on, Poulter was unstoppable. If he could translate the form he has shown both at Celtic Manor and Valhalla to the PGA Tour, he perhaps could do great things.

4. No item of clothing featuring the Ryder Cup will ever look good. Ever - those jumpers that the USA wore on the first day.... essentially a knitted cardigan with a massive image of the Ryder Cup on it. Wrong. This after those burgundy shirts in 1999 - Google them.

5. Putts win matches - it may sound obvious, but no matter how good your driving and approach to the green is, you still have to sink the ball from whatever distance you set up, particularly in match play scenarios. The Molinaris showed they lack the skill and the bottle to do so this weekend and as such scored just 1 1/2 points between them.

6. Tiger's still got it... just about - 3 points over the weekend is a pretty good return for a wildcard pick. Although the one defeat to Luke Donald and Lee Westwood in the foursomes was a massive one (6&5). Today's singles showed the Tiger of old, with a massive eagle chip-in on the 12th and some classic putts to see off Francesco Molinari and keep the USA in the hunt. However, these flashes of brilliance are all too brief these days and it's clear that some mental fragility remains.

7. Luke Donald is a star - pretty much everything he touched turned to gold over the weekend. He still has never failed to win a Ryder Cup foursomes match and formed a dream team with Westwood to smash Woods and Stricker. The crowd really took to the Englishman (rare that side of the Severn) and there really is nothing in his game needing major work. Another Brit who now needs to push on in stroke play golf.

8. Graeme McDowall has got some balls - Remember 1991 and the War on the Shore at Kiawah Island? McDowall probably did as Hunter Mahan came up short on the 17th, as the Ryder Cup was wrestled back to the fair side of the Atlantic by the narrowest of margins. Knowing that the entire campaign rests upon your shoulders cannot be easy, but McDowall showed the stronger will to reduce the defeated Mahan to tears. Like Donald and Poulter, got better and better as time went on

9. The Ryder Cup is the best golf has to offer - I enjoy the majors and many businessmen enjoy a lazy afternoon playing their own round, but to see 24 of the best battling it out in tense matchplay, showing genuine passion and surrounded by a borderline feverish crowd is just wonderful. It's the team element I think. The Ryder Cup is great and the 2010 edition will go down as one of the best.

10. Wales needs to get over itself - "Bringing the Ryder Cup to Wales" was the message that any Taff would have tried to get across this weekend. I've driven past Celtic Manor. It's a dive. I put my foot down to take it out of my eyeline. This golf course was designed specifically for this weekend - to serve the business interests of one man, not the Welsh nation (cough, principality). Now, enough of your delusions of grandeur!

RM

The Back Page - October 2010

An alternative look back and ahead at all the sporting action that matters and doesn't matter.

The September Awards

Moment of the month - "Corner in from the right from Robson, McManus with the header! GOAL FOR SCOTLAND!!! Right at the death!". Blushes well and truly spared. Celebrations in the Miller household include jumping on parents, falling out of chairs and breaking watches. No, really. Berbatov's overhead kick against Liverpool a close second.

Bullshit of the month (i) - Sam Allardyce's claims that he could manage Inter Milan or Real Madrid without too much difficulty. Comments which were clearly inspired by the likes of Juande Ramos and Carlos Quieroz being given a shot.

Bullshit of the month (ii) - PCB Chairman Ijaz Butt's claim that England's batting collapse in the 3rd ODI at the Oval was fixed. Nothing to do with some of your boys bowling really well then Ijaz?

Convenient injuries of the month - English athletes Christine Ohuruogu and Lisa Dobriskey - "Oh what a shame, our recovery times are slightly longer than expected. Now we won't be able to compete in the train wreck that is the Delhi Commonwealth Games!" At least Phillips Idowu's reasoning was a little more blunt!

Omission of the month - American Ryder Cup captain Corey Pavin forgetting to introduce Stewart Cink at the captain's address on Thursday. Forgetting of course that Cink is the last Yank to win on these shores back at the 2009 Open. It doesn't exactly give the impression that Pavin has everything under control!

LAD of the month - Indian spin bowler Harbhajan Singh had the perfect response in the wake of the spot-fixing scandal when asked what he would do if approached by an illegal bookmaker "I'd give them a slap!". Well said Bhaji!

Hopes for October

• A massive game in the NFL on Sunday as my Eagles host Graeme's Redskins. Here's hoping The Dog Lover Michael Vick sends Donovan McNabb back to DC with his tail between his legs. McNabb hopes he won't get booed - if Eagles fans boo Santa, they will certainly boo the man they feel failed them over a decade as the franchise QB.
• I got my wish for minimum points from Scotland's first two qualifiers (just!). Now we are away in Prague and at home to Spain. I'll take a point to be honest!
• As few athletes as possible pick up cholera at the Commonwealth Games
• Genuinely, genuinely hope that Alberto Contador is innocent in cycling's latest doping scandal. Not like The Back Page to get all serious but the guy is a monumental athlete and it would be nice to keep the belief that he got to the top of his game legally.
• India and Sri Lanka give the Aussies a good battering this month so they are in no frame of mind to be successful in the Ashes. There, back to the usual vitriolic hatred!
• Gavin Henson quickly gets voted off Strictly Come Dancing. I just can't stand him. Not that I watch SCD, just would like to see Henson brought down a peg or two.

Lookalike of the Month

Troy Polamalu, star safety of the Pittsburgh Steelers, this month got his hair insured for the sum of $1 million. The photos that accompanied this piece of "news" reminded me of another famous sporting moment. Think back to the World Cup 94 opening ceremony in the USA and Diana Ross' fluffed penalty kick, a sign of things to come for the likes of Roberto Baggio. I'm sure you'll agree that there is a "supreme" resemblance between the two.

RM