The RedZone - Week 3 in the NFL

Ryan's Top 5

5. Tony Gonzalez - 8 catches, 110 yards, 1 TD - Matt Ryan is a great QB but has limited receiver options. With Roddy White marked out of the first 3 quarters by Saints CB Jabari Greer, Gonzalez rolled back the years to keep so many drives going for Ryan. The Falcons dominated offensively again in a 27-24 OT win over the Superbowl champions. Narrowly beats out the Jets' Dustin Keller as TE of the week

4. DeSean Jackson - 5 catches, 153 yards, 1 TD - With Mike Vick inserted as the Eagles' official starting QB, he needed a big game to prove Andy Reid correct against the Jags. Fortunate then that he has an explosive playmaker like Jackson at his disposal. A 61-yard TD was just the start of this beautiful combination, as the Eagles were consistently able to keep the chains moving in a 28-3 victory. Jeremy Maclin also contributed in a big way.

3. Adrian Peterson - 23 carries, 160 yards 2 TD's - with Favre Watch proving a fairly masochistic experience (23/34, 201 yards, 1 TD, 2 INT's this week), it's important that somebody on the offense makes some plays. Who better than the Lions as opposition to kickstart your season? Peterson dominated the game, which included a career-high 80-yard TD to lead the Vikings to a first victory 24-10.

2. The Chiefs' running game - Jamaal Charles - 12 carries, 97 yards, Thomas Jones - 19 carries, 95 yards, 1 TD - it would be unfair to forget about Matt Cassel's big day as well, with 3 TD's, but it was on the ground that the situations were created. We always knew that Charles was the lone brightspot for this side but Jones has come in from the Jets and has proven that he does not just thrive in a favourable environment. The woeful 49ers were the victims of a 31-10 pumping and their offensive co-ordinator has bitten the bullet as a result.

1. The Seahawks' safeties - Lawyer Milloy - 7 tackles, 5 assists, 1 FF, Earl Thomas - 4 tackles, 2 assists, 2 INT's - this game will be remembered for the performance of Leon Washington on special teams (I'm sure Graeme will have something to say about that in a little while), but the Chargers always have the ability to put up more points than anybody, especially on a day where Philip Rivers throws for 455 yards. By forcing three important turnovers, Milloy and rookie Thomas kept the ball in the hands of their offense, winding the clock down in the process in a 27-20 victory, handing them the initiative in the NFC West.

Graeme's Top 5

5. Rashard Mendenhall - 19 carries, 143 yards, 1 TD - When you are on the road against a surprisingly 2-0 team and your QB hasn't started a game since 2007, a solid contribution from the running game is most welcome. Thanks Rashard.

4. Matt Cassel - 16/27, 250 yards, 3 TD's - Fine, the current 9ers aren't exactly in the same class as Montana's men, and he had help from his ground game. But the sweet double reverse fake deep ball play gets Cassel a spot in this article.

3. Flacco to Boldin - 3 TD's - Boldin caught 7 consecutive targets for 135 yards, producing 4 first downs and 3 TD's. Again, the opposition wasn't that taxing but Eric Wright, the corner responsible for covering Boldin, is (nominally) pretty decent

2. Cowboys D - 2 INT's, 1 Forced Fumble, 13 points conceded - The experts suggesting that the Cowboys were done and telling us that this Texas Derby was a sure money win for Houston are proved to be nothing more than 60%-of-the-time luck-merchants and reactionaries. The Dallas D sacked the previously unphased Schaub 4 times, 3 by Demarcus Ware, and picked him twice. They also limited Andre Johnson to a mere 26 ineffectual yards and restored some confidence in Big D's playoff bid.

1. The Franchise and The Sanchize - Sam Bradford 23/37, 235 yards, 1 TD, Mark Sanchez 15/28, 256 yrads, 3 TD's - This isn't a particularly subjective award. I simply feel that this week Bradford deserves credit for getting his first NFL win, eating up my Redskins admittedly pitiful D. Sanchez gets his mention because he managed to go to a hostile road game and not screw up at any point. Maybe he IS going to live up to the hype. Or some of it at least; as far as I know, there can only be one Son of God

FavreWatch (TM) - 23/34, 201 yards, 1 TD, 2 INT's - Against the Lions, Brett resembled the Mitchell and Webb sketch of an elderly, dementia-suffering Sherlock Holmes, living in his own detached world while the younger Adrian Peterson's around him win the games he used to win by himself.

The County Scene: Week 27 - The End

Yes, sadly we have reached the end of another cricketing summer. Yet again we have experienced the delights of bad weather, scandal and tense finishes. Such is the effervescent nature of the sport. I think it is only fitting that I start with my county team of the season

Marcus Trescothick (Somerset) - brilliant leader and ultra-aggressive opener in every form of the game
Adam Lyth (Yorkshire) - came from virtually nowhere to be the brightest light in the Tykes' young squad
Mark Ramprakash (Surrey) - the man just cannot stop scoring runs
Andrew Gale (Yorkshire - captain) - took over the reins of an unfancied side and fared brilliantly, scoring a bucketload of runs on the side
James Hildreth (Somerset) - never let the side down, scoring hundred after hundred to end with the highest average of the season
Murray Goodwin (Sussex) - another perennial run scorer, firing his side straight back up to the top division
Chris Read (Nottinghamshire - keeper) - how can you ignore the Championship winning skipper, who continues to make runs and keep superbly without recognition
Adil Rashid (Yorkshire) - runs, wickets, no Ashes spot. Life's not fair for everyone's favourite leggy who isn't Shane Warne
Andre Adams (Nottinghamshire) - so many wickets, including those crucial strikes against Lancashire on the final day. There's life in the old Kiwi yet.
Alfonso Thomas (Somerset) - Mr Death Bowling in limited overs and consistently brilliant in first class cricket as well
Chris Tremlett (Surrey) - to average around 20 playing your home matches at the Oval takes real class and mental fortitude, which Tremlett displayed for the first time in his life

12th man - Murali Kartik (Somerset) - it would just be biased to have 4 Somerset players, but Kartik is a) a left-arm spinner (more bias) and b) the reason that Taunton has become such a fortress this season

And finally, the conclusion of the Pakistan tour. The less said about it the better I think, so I'll keep it brief:

4th ODI (Lord's) - Pakistan 265-7 (50 overs) (Mohammad Hafeez 64 off 100, Swann 10-0-37-4) beat England 227 (46.1 overs) (Strauss 68 off 72, Umar Gul 8.1-0-32-4). Once again England did not look up for this game and who could blame them? They had after all just been accused of match-fixing by PCB chairman Ijaz Butt, who is essentially an idiot with power. Having failed to restrict their opponents with the new ball, it was once again left to Graeme Swann to keep the runs down, although even then there was still an onslaught at the end as Abdul Razzaq smacked 44* off 20 at the death, taking the game away from England who had to chase under lights. Razzaq is one of the few game changers still around in international cricket and remains a joy to watch. Shahid Afridi also fired in quick runs as Tim Bresnan's bowling under pressure was left woefully exposed. England's heart was never in the run chase after that, with no one there to support the excellent start given to them by Strauss and Steve Davies (49 off 61). To be fair, Gul and Shoaib Akhtar (10-0-59-3) bowled with real fire and movement, which, when your focus is elsewhere, will always prove too much.

5th ODI (Rose Bowl) - England 256-6 (50 overs) (Morgan 107* off 101) beat Pakistan 135 (37 overs) by 121 runs and win the series 3-2. This was how to bounce back. Yet again, Eoin Morgan plays an innings of flair and authority to seal the series. You simply cannot overstate how amazing his range of shots is and the cool head required to play them. The fact is that once again, one man alone had held England's batting together, although he did receive support of a kind from a clearly out of form and unwell Paul Collingwood (47 off 71 with no boundaries - a brave effort given the migraines he was suffering from). After an expensive first ten overs, there was nothing to write home about in the response. England's best bowlers in this series have been Swann and Stuart Broad and they reaped their rewards with three cheap wickets apiece here. Well done to Luke Wright as well, who took his opportunity in the absence of Michael Yardy to demonstrate that he potentially has a role to play as an all-rounder on the subcontinent (6-0-16-1) here.

I'll be back for the Ashes tour
RM

Sink in the Deep or Swim in the Shallows?

Just a small reflective piece on a conversation I had the other day. I was speaking to a friend who happens to have the misfortune of being a Hull City fan. Now, compared to what myself and Graeme are used to, he's had it pretty good in the last couple of years. However, the excesses in which the Tigers indulged during their two year stay in the Premier League have created the potential for things to get much, much worse. Spending on players such as Jimmy Bullard (who essentially gets paid £45,000 a week to keep the physio employed and occasionally perform a comedy act on the football pitch before his knees give out again) and investment in youngsters like Jozy Altidore who fail to live up to the hype has contributed in part to the club owing £21 million as things stand, although that has already been greatly reduced from a peak of £35 million thanks to the efforts of chairman Adam Pearson.

Administration and further relegation may well follow if further drastic action cannot be taken. And yet... my mate seems so much happier with the club's situation. This is a standpoint which may appear difficult to understand but is also one which I can completely empathise with. The boom and bust which Hull may be about to experience is a very similar story to the one which afflicted Livingston just over a year ago. Life with young players who we have mostly produced ourselves plus a couple of old hands suits me so much better than living beyond our means in the SPL and Division One. And, if we continue with current form, we may be back at a higher level much more secure financially and with the wisdom of past experience to stop us repeating the trick. In summary, the short-term loss of administration, near liquidation and forced relegation to the bottom tier has been so preferable to the long-term alternative - staying at a higher level before completely imploding and the club no longer existing.

My friend also pointed out how much more enjoyable it is to be able to get tickets to Championship games more easily, as the fair-weather fans have departed and returned to rugby league. The atmosphere is more fervent and the knowledge of the crowd greater, understandably so. Of course, it won't boost the coffers to the same extent, but it's wonderful to have the opportunity to rebuild a club from the floorboards up. And, like Livingston, the club are relying upon their own youngsters and a few old veterans. And Jimmy Bullard.

In a sport increasingly more reliant upon television money and parachute payments from the Premier League, football needs to look at these stories in a positive light. Yes, financial misdemeanours should be frowned upon but the hardcore fans, those who contribute to the club more than anybody else, will always stand by their players, no matter how dire the circumstances become. One of the reasons why the England national team has struggled so much in recent times is the lack of investment in local youth, with a preference from the "big teams" to pick up youngsters from overseas. Circumstances like Hull's gives English youngsters a shot. Who knows what they could go on to accomplish? It may have taken a crisis to create the situation, but having no choice but to play young Englishmen can only be a good thing in the long-term. However, a word of warning - clubs will never be saved if the public and the footballing authorities fail to support them through their times of trouble and help them get to the other side, no matter how far they have to fall to reach security.

That said, I had a bloody good chuckle today when I saw Dundee were going back into administration!
RM

Manchester Teams Colourblind

There was a time, not so long ago, when the easiest distinction in football was between the two teams in Manchester. And it was easy; one wore red, one wore blue. One was a perenial powerhouse, one was perenially useless. One would ruthlessly dispose of smaller teams, the other would find a way to lose to an already-relegated bunch of has-beens and never-were-s.

Now, Man U have managed to start dropping points at every opportunity, whereas Man City have continued their statistically interesting run of beating Chelsea to emphasise their improvement over the past summer.

City were chastised after the game, percieved as negative due to their reliance on 3 'holding midfielders' .

Never mind the presence of David Silva (note to Alan Shearer; SILVA, not VILLA) and Carlos Tevez in the team, the thing that really annoyed me about that line of criticism is that it is inherently blinkered.

I don't condone the practice of using a sugar-daddy owner to buy in heaps of new players, but it now seems that every pundit in the land has forgotten how Chelsea did exactly what City have done. I do not particularly enjoy watching teams comprised mainly of defensive minded players throttle out results, but Chelsea got by doing the exact same thing for most of their rich years. Yes, even under Saint Jose.

It seems that 3 or 4 winning seasons and all previous criticism of how you managed to come about those wins disappears. It now appears that the media is only too quick to defend Chelsea, the apparently established and traditional big dogs of the Premiership, against upstarts like Man City who are only doing exactly what the Blues themselves did a mere 5 years ago. There is short-termism, and then there is supression of memory.

I didn't intend this article to become a passioned defence of City (I approve of the improvement their money has bought offering greater competition in the league, I overwhelmingly disapprove of the macroeconomic handling of football clubs in the way Man City are exemplifying), but a final point is that the 'holding midfielders' Toure, Barry and De Jong are criticised when all they do is provide a solid base, much like Makelele and Essien have for Chelsea and Keane and Scholes did for Man U (to much acclaim and no criticism) and keep the ball moving, much like the vaunted midfield of media darlings Barcelona.

Mentioning Keane and Scholes, there are of course two teams in Manchester, and as I alluded to earlier I'm going to give a brief comment to the Red Devils as well.

I predicted that Man U would become long in the tooth this year, and that they would finish 3rd. While men like Scholes and Giggs have proven me wrong on my first prediction (Wrong this time. Seriously, they HAVE to slow down some time!), I am pretty confident that my view of where they will finish the season will be correct.

The Wayne Rooney fiasco has been detrimental to the club. Scandals like that simply did not used to happen at Old Trafford, and anyone who caused trouble (ahem, Beckham and the flying football boot) were swiftly disposed of. I wouldn't be surprised if that happens to Rooney at the end of this year.

A positive has emerged from Rooney-Gate. A rejuvinated Dimitar Berbatov seems to have flourished due to the team finally choosing to adapt to his style of play. Why Sir Alex didn't do anything about the Berbatov issue earlier I have no idea, and it is one of my main criticisms of him; he has a precedent of buying expensively with a grand rebranding of the team style in mind, only to then prioritise short term results and put the big changes on hold, thus wasting the player in question. See the case of Veron for the best example. I think the ambition Sir Alex showed in signing him, and wishing to turn Man U into a ball control team much like Arsenal were at that time and the current Man U side are trying to be, was highly laudible. Just imagine how far superior that team would have been to anyone else in England or Europe (especially when Cristiano Ronaldo turned up... ).

Back in the real world, Fergie has also failed to address the defensive shortcomings that were obvious last year. The result is that the indecisive defense, coupled with less creativity and goal threat from Rooney, leaves United vulnerable to teams that keep the ball, pressure when not in possession and organise themselves well in defence. Teams like Bolton. Teams like Chelsea, and now, especially teams like Man City.

GM

The RedZone - Week 2 in the NFL

Graeme's Top 5

5. Troy Polamalu - 6 tackles, 1 INT. Honourable mention goes to Lawrence Timmons, who had a 15 tackle day, but I've got to give the plaudits to Troy. Irrespective of how the rest of the D performed, it was his amazing leaping tackle that stopped the Titans at the goalline to win the game.

4. Jay Cutler - 21/29, 277 yards, 3 TD's. This is as much a reward for progress as it is for performance. If you've followed the NFL over the past few years, you'll know of Cutler's issues with accuracy, decision-making and leadership. New Bears O-coordinator Mike Martz seems to have connected with him. He didn't set a foot wrong in beating the Cowboys away in the Jerry Jones MegaDome (disclaimer; not its real name), in spite of the early beating Martz's system exposed him to.

3. Falcons Offence - 3 aerial TD's, 2 rushing TD's, only 1 sack conceded - The Falcons beat down on Arizona. They dominated the Cards D, allowing Matt Ryan to throw for 3 TD's and convert 11-17 third downs with impunity. They had the ball for 39 minutes, allowing Arizona only 20 minutes. Such offensive dominance guaranteed them an easy win.

2. Peyton Manning - 20/26, 255 yards, 3 TD's. Made the Giants look like a college team for most of the match, and gave Eli some good game tape to study later. Once again, Peyton reminds his dad who the favourite son of the family is, although the Oreo commercials have made this pretty clear anyway.

1. The Quarterbacks of Redskins Vs Texans- McNabb 28/38, 426 yards, 1 TD, Schaub 38/52, 497 yards, 3TD's 1 INT. This game quickly became an aerial love-fest. Washington could not run the ball to save themselves, and so McNabb had to take on the Texans by himself behind a line that lost Trent Williams at left tackle to injury. Combined with the terrible wideouts and the suspect D, it's a miracle the Skins were tied at the end of regulation. Schaub just ate the Skins D up, and there is no doubt that he is amongst the best QB's in the league even when Andre Johnson is considered in the equation.

Ryan's Top 5

5. LeSean McCoy - 16 carries, 120 yards, 3TDs as the Eagles recorded their first win of the season 35-32 vs Detroit. Shady managed to exploit the sizeable holes in the Lions' defense. If you look in the archive, you'll see how I predicted a greater emphasis on running the ball in Philly. McCoy could become a serious weapon.

4. Antoine Cason - 6 tackles, 2 INT, 1 forced fumble. After a great first week, the Jaguars' QB David Garrard melted down at San Diego in a 38-13 defeat, throwing 4 picks in all before being benched for Luke McCown. Cason was the main defensive playmaker for the Chargers, who stepped up and refused to let their heads drop after their shock Week 1 defeat to Kansas City.

3. Mark Sanchez - 21/30, 220 yards, 3TDs. Don't get me wrong, I'm still not convinced by this guy and feel that Josh Freeman is the outstanding QB from the class of '09. But, despite the criticism and pressure weighing down on him, the Sanchise managed to find his range and, more importantly, his receivers in a 28-14 comeback win for the Jets. Never mind the problems of the New England secondary!

2. James Harrison - 10 tackles, 1 assist, 2 forced fumbles. Polamalu may get all of the plaudits for his endzone pick and ludicrous dive over the O-Line to stop the Titans on 4th down in a 19-11 victory for the Steelers, but Harrison does a lot of the hard work and puts in a lot of the hard hits. He places higher in this list because he gave us all a chance to see Kerry Collins again.

1. Matt Schaub - 38/52, 497 yards, 3 TDs, 1 INT. It always helps when you have top WR Andre Johnson as a target, but you still have to go some to comeback against the Redskins' defense, one of the best in the league. 17 points down in the 3rd quarter, Schaub underlined his status as an elite QB with some superb drives down the field. He clearly leads the offense and his play calling is improving all the time. It was wise of the Texans to punt in overtime rather than attempt a 53-yard FG - giving the 'Skins a tougher field position before they got the ball back and won 30-27 thanks to the boot of Neil Rackers.

Favre Watch (TM) - 22/36, 225 yards, 3 INT. Peterson's fumble-itis is catching!

The County Scene: Week 26 - Always the bloody bridesmaids!

We have reached the penultimate edition of this long-running series. All the county cricket has been played out and I have only just wiped away the tears from my eyes to write about it. Yes, as predicted a few weeks ago, Somerset somehow contrived to finish as runners-up in all three competitions this season. That is not to take anything away from the boys - they have played brilliant cricket all year but just couldn't push over the finish line. They were defied by team brilliance in the Championship and the individual brilliance of Imran Tahir and Ian Bell in the CB40 final at Lord's on Saturday. I'm pretty sure that these guys are going to features heavily in my team of the season next week, but it'll be scant consolation!

The Championship was particularly painful but you cannot fault the excellence of the Nottinghamshire effort to net them another title. Having had three days pretty much wiped out away to Lancashire, and with Somerset having secured maximum batting points and a draw at Durham, Nottinghamshire needed to get from 89-2 overnight up to 400 and then take three Lancashire wickets to win the title by virtue of games won (both sides finished level on points - even more choking!). They were indebted to two things - some pretty generous bowling and the swift batting of Samit Patel and Aussie Adam Voges, making 96 and 126 respectively. They got over the line with one wicket to spare, the much maligned Darren Pattinson and departing Ryan Sidebottom the heroes. With about 40 minutes to go to get the three wickets, Sidebottom and Andre Adams got the ball in the right areas and the slip fielders made no mistake. Well done Notts. Bastards.

The CB40 final was another disappointment. On a decent Lord's track, Somerset could only muster 199, after a rapid start from Marcus Trescothick and a good middle-order partnership between youngsters Compton and Hildreth. Keith Barker put the ball in the right areas and Imran Tahir overcame a tricky start to get his variations going on a dusty pitch - the batsmen had no answer. The bowling response was great, Mark Turner aside, but they came up against a skipper back on his game at the right time before the Ashes. Ian Bell's 107 off 95 singlehandedly finished the Sabres off. Well done Warwickshire. Bastards.

Right now to the internationals very briefly:

3rd ODI (The Oval) - Pakistan 241 (49.4 overs) (Fawad Alam 64 off 86) beat England 218 (45.4 overs) (Morgan 61 off 74, Strauss 57 off 54, Umar Gul 10-0-42-6) by 23 runs. A quite wonderful display of bowling from Umar Gul wins the game for Pakistan to keep the series alive. The Oval track was flat and good for batting as usual but also had an abrasive quality to it that allowed the bowlers to find some reverse swing under the lights, leaving Luke Wright stranded on 48* having shown technique to go with his usual lusty striking to deny the bowlers. The game was lost in truth after Morgan aka "The Finisher" departed, having failed for once to see things through. Strauss again showed flair in his strokeplay as Pakistan fed his strength, but once the ball started reversing, England displayed palpable weakness to the moving ball, as they have all summer in truth. Their bowling was pretty good, led by another economical spell from Jimmy Anderson (10-2-26-3). After his opening burst had restricted their start, Pakistan played studiously to recover, led by the technical excellence of Fawad Alam, who is more suited to test matches but never gets selected! A defendable score was achieved through some free swinging from Abdul Razzaq. I don't believe he is a threatening bowling option any longer, but his striking is superb at the death and wins games on his own.

The game was undermined by further allegations of spot-fixing in this match - how stupid would you have to be in the current light to continue with this practise when everything is being scrutinised so closely? I can see no logical truth to these new allegations. Least of all the bitter swipe taken by PCB chairman Ijaz Butt at the England players, accusing them of being involved in throwing games. Not only does is this a false accusation which should lead to Butt's removal from his post and a libel case, but it also belittles the achievement of his bowlers in dismissing England for the victory.

Bastard
RM

Rare Parity: Now served at most good Premiership Grounds

Rugby in Britain has always been something of a closed shop. In the golden days of amateurism, one could be fairly certain that the players on your favourite team had been to one of a select group of rugby playing public schools, probably because you were there with them. Certainly, no poor person would be able to make it into the first XV due to the amateur status of the sport.

Professionalism generally eliminates discrimination, as one cannot be choosy when buying a team. The best players must be played, or someone else will play them against you.

From the 1996 watershed, though, the closed shop mentality has continued in another form. The grand old clubs of England, the Baths and Wasps and the Leicesters of the country, did not take too kindly to challenges to their dominance. Hence, the rather short list of Premiership winners.

Credit then, to Newcastle Falcons, the only truly ‘provincial’ club to have triumphed. And credit now to the new boys of the league, Exeter Chiefs.

I am not saying that Exeter, Leeds et al will challenge for the playoffs, but you have to admit that the league this year has a certain feel to it. It seems to be a more competitive proposition than in its previous guises.

Exeter have already claimed the scalps of Gloucester and Newcastle. They gave the champion Tigers a run for their money at Welford Road. Not many outside of the South West would have bet as much.

Leeds staying up last year was, in the greater scheme of things, an immense triumph. It was a tough slog, and in the end they didn't actually need to win that many games to do it. It of course helped that Worcester were losing (a lot). But it shows that a bad season for one of the established teams can now put them into a lot more trouble than they usually bargain for.

Bonus pun of the article: "White Sandys Ahead for Chiefs!". Does anyone know the editor of the Sun’s sport section? Because I really need a job.

GM

The County Scene: Week 25 - The Home Straight

I'll do things a bit differently and start with the county stuff, seeing as England and Pakistan appear to be simply going through the motions with other things on their minds right now. First of all, the lineup for the Lord's finale has been confirmed as Somerset versus Warwickshire. Somerset put up masses of runs against Essex at Taunton, which despite the rapid run rate the visitors managed was never going to be achieved with wickets in hand. Warwickshire were away at Yorkshire and managed to restrict them to a chaseable target which they got to after adjustments made owing to the various rain interruptions. The final should be a good game, particularly if the Bears have their England men (Trott and Bell) available. Somerset should win if they keep to the principles which have served them so well in one-day cricket this year.

The Championship is now into its final round of games (apologies for this post not going up beforehand, my computer has been virus-riddled). I'll keep those for next week but a grand finale has been set up after the top 4 in Division 1 all played each other last week and ended up with the tightest possible scenario. It really has been Notts' to lose but lose it they might well do after Yorkshire bowled them out for 59 on Day 1 and never really looked back as they eventually got home by 5 wickets. Skipper Andrew Gale stood out with 151* in the 1st innings. He really has excelled in gelling a young team together in his first season at Headingley. Ajmal Shahzad starred with the ball - he will have some role to play in the Ashes I would hope. Lancashire were taken out of contention for the title after Somerset beat them by 9 wickets at Taunton. Craig Kieswetter's 84 and 52* from Murali Kartik down at number 10 gave us enough runs to play with and the bowlers all contributed to secure the win. So, we go into the last week with Notts top, with Somerset just two points behind and Yorkshire a further 5 behind. With some dodgy weather around, it could all come down to bonus points. Congratulations to Sussex, who made one of my pre-season predictions come true with an innings victory over Northants taking them back to the First Division at the first time of asking.

Now to the internationals:

2nd T20 (Cardiff) - England 90-4 (14 overs) (Saeed Ajmal 3-0-13-1, Shahid Afridi 3-0-15-1, Shoaib Akhtar 4-1-18-1) beat Pakistan 89 (18.4 overs) (Bresnan 3.4-0-10-3, Broad 4-0-18-2, Yardy 4-0-10-0) by 6 wickets with 36 balls remaining. You really have to go some to get bowled out in T20. England simply had to put the ball in the right areas and Pakistan conspired to their own downfall. It was pretty dull viewing in all honesty. Umar Akmal was fun briefly as he launched into Graeme Swann, but this spinner is far too canny and as Akmal tried to hit his third six, Swann tossed it up more and bowled him. I love the attitude of a spinner who can say "Well done, good shot. Now try and do it again." It's an attitude I use in my own game and does invariably bring success, although generally at a cost! Tim Bresnan was man of the match and deservedly so, using the short ball frequently along with Stuart Broad. The batsmen simply could not deal with this onslaught but nor could they deal with the darting spinners of Michael Yardy. If you can play neither pace nor spin, you're going to struggle to post a total! England never broke sweat in their run chase - the Pakistan bowling figures look good but when chasing 90, a few economical overs aren't going to bother anybody!

1st ODI (Chester-le-Street) - England 274-6 (41 overs) (Davies 87 off 67, Trott 69 off 78, Saeed Ajmal 9-0-58-4) beat Pakistan 250-9 (41 overs) (Kamran Akmal 53 off 61) by 24 runs. Plenty of positives for England to take here as they won comfortably against a side who for once were not abject. Steve Davies looks a player. Some of his strokeplay off his hips and driving off the back foot was stunning, although he never looked to overhit the ball. In the T20s, he got out playing his favourite shots, but here in the longer form he was able to score freely but build an innings within himself without having to force the issue. His keeping looks tidy and he looks like the man for the World Cup. I liked Trott's innings in contrast, he never looked to hit boundaries and simply accumulated at a healthy rate. Fireworks were provided late on by the returning Ravi Bopara who has simplified his approach to cricket and looks a lot more mentally sharp as a result. He hit three big sixes in 35* off 27. Only Shoaib Akhtar was able to keep the runs down (8-1-28-0) and proved that he can still be effective even if his pace and fitness is in decline. Pakistan never looked like getting 275 to win but were still spirited with the bat. James Anderson was excellent on his return to the limited overs team (9-0-35-2).

2nd ODI (Headingley) - England 295-6 (49.3 overs) (Strauss 126 off 134, Trott 53 off 71) beat Pakistan 294-8 (50 overs) (Kamran Akmal 74 off 72, Asad Shafiq 50 off 58, Broad 10-0-81-4). Comfortably the game of the summer. Blazing sunshine, a capacity crowd and a great atmosphere put to one side the troubles this series has had. Add in a batsman's paradise of a wicket and you have success! England, Anderson and Swann aside, did not bowl well at all early on, the short ball being used far too often - it is becoming predictable and you can guarantee the Pakistan batsmen will have been working on it. Kamran Akmal and Mohammad Hafeez (43 off 61) played contrasting innings at the top, with Akmal looking to be the aggressor as Hafeez rotated strike. This is the most efffective way to open up, as you cannot have two guys blasting away for long periods realistically! Mohammad Yousuf (46 off 48) also looked great and proved he still has an appetite for international cricket. Broad came back well to pick up late wickets and will always be expensive if he is asked to bowl in the batting powerplay and Tim Bresnan is shaping up to be a useful death bowler with his pace variations and yorkers. Chasing 295 is never easy but skipper Strauss put up his hand and made the necessary innings to win the game. Pakistan did bowl to his strength wide outside off and were cut away mercilessly - the 7ft Mohammad Irfan looks anything but an international class bowler just now. Strauss found an ally in Trott who just did what he does best yet again! When those two got out there was a bit of a scramble across the line, but local boy Bresnan got them there.

Kamran Akmal is my Victoria Sponge LAD of the week, for putting behind him his role in the spot-fixing scandal (he's innocent), his clangers behind the stumps and an awful run of batting form to produce two lovely fifties filled with the glorious shots we always knew he was capable of
RM

The RedZone - Week 1 in the NFL

It's time for another new series here at Beyond the Cliche. With the NFL regular season now up and running, we decided to launch our own version of Deion Sanders' "Let's Go Primetime". Graeme and I will each give our top 5 performances of the week and compare notes. You never know, we might even record a few of these in our own inimitable styles! Here we go with the best bits of week 1:

Ryan's Top 5

5. Matt Hasselbeck - 18/23, 170 yards, 2 TDs, 1 INT. Also ran in for a TD in the Seahawks' 31-6 divisional win over the 49ers. Didn't see a lot of the ball early on as the offense gathered no momentum, but eventually the veteran kept finding the right guys at the right time to give Pete Carroll the perfect return to the NFL.

4. Rashard Mendenhall - 22 carries 120 yards, match-winning TD in overtime (50 yards). When you have an inexperienced QB, as the Steelers did with Dennis Dixon, it's important that the RB stands up and makes some plays. Mendenhall's 3rd season could be a big one after this successful start with a 15-9 OT win over the Falcons.

3. Wes Welker - 8 receptions, 64 yards, 2 TDs. We didn't know when he'd be back but Tom Brady's man in the slot made a welcome return from a serious knee injury as the Patriots breezed past the shaky looking Bengals 38-24.

2. Matt Forte - 50 yards rushing, 151 yards receiving with 2 TDs. After seriously letting a lot of fantasy owners down in 2009, Forte came up big for the Bears in a 19-14 win over the Lions, although it was by the skin of their teeth! You will always have chances against the Lions secondary but Forte made it count, particularly with an 89-yard TD. He even made Jay Cutler's numbers look good!

1. Arian Foster - 33 carries, 231 yards, 3 TDs. Where did this guy come from? After spending his rookie season in the Texans' practise squad, Foster set all kinds of records as he ripped the Colts apart in a 34-24 win. The surprise factor may have had something to do with it but it must be concerning for Indy that even Peyton's heroics weren't enough to paper over the creaking defence but Houston may be a force to be reckoned with!

Graeme's Top 5

5. Hakeem Nicks- 4 receptions, 75 yeards, 3 TD's. When everyone else was screwing up and throwing Eli 'I believe in Eli' Manning under a bus, second year man Nicks really stepped up. When big plays were needed, he made them.

4. Chris Johnson- 27 carries, 142 yards, 2 TD's. Against the apparently improved Oakland front 7, CJ2K decided to show us that the Raiders still have a long way to go before they can think about the playoffs and that the Titans will go as far as he takes them.

Tie 3. DeAngelo Hall- 8 tackles, 1 forced fumble returned for a TD. Hall covered Dez Bryant, and though he allowed the rookie 8 receptions, he gave up only 1 play of any relevance. But this award goes to him for his strip of Tashard Choice that he returned for a TD. It won the Skins the game.

Tie 3. Derrick Johnson- 12 tackles, 1 forced fumble. Johnson, who was in coach Todd Haley's doghouse for much of last year, came back strong. He dominated the middle of the field, led the D and forced Ryan Matthews to fumble, ending the Chargers best drive of the game.

2. Tom Brady- 25/35, 258 yards, 3 TD's. Back to the Brady of old it seems. Days after being in a car accident, Tom Terrific picked the Bengals normally tough defence to pieces, spreading the ball about and involving everyone. Wes Welker and rookie TE Rob Grondkowski look like having big years ahead of them.

1. Arian Foster- See above. The Colts' traditional abysmal run defence has resurfaced, but my oh my, how Foster exploited it. The former practise squad player helped the Texans snap their 6 game losing streak to Indy, and provides Houston fans with greater hope of a playoff berth than ever.

Favre Watch (TM): 15/27, 171 yards, 1 TD, 1 INT. Who dey?

GM and RM

A Brief History of Time (Behind Bars)

In the Guardian Sports Section there are often little one paragraph stories covering sports in which not much else has happened that day. Anyway, I read one recently that informed me that occasional Bulls prop Bees Roux, who I had seen playing in the Currie Cup only a while back, was in a spot of bother with the law. Namely, he has been charged with murder after being accused of beating a policeman to death with his bare hands in the streets of Pretoria. So nothing too serious then.

This, coupled with the Pakistan "spot-and-possibly-matches-as-well fixing-gate" (needs a snazzier nickname. 'The New Terror from Pakistan?'), has got me thinking about other crimes committed by athletes. I thought I would come up with a list of my own personal favourites. I'll run through the crimes committed and, with my newly-freed legal brain, outline the consequences of the actions...

Plaxico Burress' Firearms Incident

The Charges: Possession of an unregistered concealed weapon, gross breach of Ghetto etiquette.

Former Giants reciever Burress is currently serving time for firearms violations relating to a night out which he felt just wouldn't be as fun without his trusty Colt 45 in his pocket. Sadly, Plaxico pays little attention to detail, and forgot the safety. The gun proceeded to cap his leg a few times.



Eric Cantona's Karate Kick

The Charges: Assault and Grievous Showing Off. Why not just punch him?

Of all ways to respond to a bit of crowd booing, racing up to the stands, pinpointing an individual and launching your entire body at them in a Jet Li style karate onslaught is probably not the way to go. Perhaps Eric saw a seagull behind the unfortunate abuser?


The Entire Tour De France

The Charges: Possession of restricted substances, damage to the property of the testing laboratory (the urine samples frequently dissolved the test tubes).

In fairness, perhaps we shouldn't have created an event so tough that steroids and EPO were a necessity to compete in it. But surely if no-one took them, it would still be equally tough?

Ray Lewis' Murder Avoidance

The Charges: 2nd Degree Murder, 1st Degree 'being a dick to your mates'

Baltimore Ravens star linebacker Lewis became embroiled in a full on murder investigation after the 2000 Superbowl party. He and his buds got into a bit of a scrap and, well, two blokes kinda got knived to death. Lewis hired an expensive attorney, who immediately had him testifying against his friends. They were both subsequently aquitted. Not that Ray Ray was the first person they rushed to thank after it was all over.


The Entire East Germany Athletics Program

The Charges: Discrimination against anyone not taking steroids

Not much to say about this one. Simply go on Wikipedia and try to find an East German male athlete who wasn't taking steroids, and try to find a female East German athlete who has not subsquently become male.


Ben Johnson's Olympic Wins

The Charges: He was a Crime against Humanity

Not only did Johnson set the standard for plain, all out cheating, but he also provided a great role model for all subsequent athletes who were just not quite talented enough.


Bloodgate

The Charges: Breach of medical ethics, crimes against acting

The cutting the cheek part of this is pretty serious, but the actual fake blood performance was so laughably bad it deserves to be watched again and again.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ppwVqvTipU


Lee Hughes (West Brom), Donte Stallworth (Cleveland Browns) Behind the Wheel

The Charges: Death by Dangerous Driving

Both hit and killed someone. Hughes was not drunk (but did drive away from the scene). He served 3 and a half years. Stallworth was drunk (but the pedestrian did step into his way). He served 30 days. Justice?


Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa's 1998 Steroid Swingfest

The Charges: False advertising

What was billed as the most exciting record chase in baseball's history, the two premier sluggers hunting down the single season home run record, turned out to be a brilliant demonstration of the powers of anabolic steroids.


Calciopoli

The Charges: Monopoly, Conspiracy to speak in code during hushed phone conversations

Luciano Moggi ran Italian football for much of the Noughties. No one won unless he wanted it so. Although, we do have to point out that in that spell, Roma, Lazio, Milan and Juventus all won the Scudetto. Post-discovery, Inter have won every championship. Ends and means?





Michael Vick's Dog Fighting

The Charges: (hilarious) abuse of animals and illegal betting

If you really want to lose your $100 million dollar contract, your career as a franchise QB and your dignity, then getting arrested for fighting dogs and spending two years in jail in Kansas is a pretty original way of doing it.


The Spanish Paralympics Team and its lack of retards

The Charges: Filling in forms correctly

Of the 12 members of Spain's 2000 Paralympic team, 10 were not actually disabled at all. How desperate for a medal are you when you think 'Hey, at least our lads can beat a bunch of handicapped people'?


Orenthal James Simpson's Retirement Plans

The Charges: Two charges of murder in the 1st degree, one civil charge of causing wrongful death and battery, one conviction for armed robbery, kidnapping, assault and obstructing the course of justice. One Heisman Trophy more than Reggie Bush.

How could I finish this article without ending with a glass of The Juice? The White Bronco, the class and race war the trial sparked, the Glove that Didn't Fit, "(If) I Did It" and then, having survived the murder trial, the sunsequent arrest and conviction for stealing back old trophies that had to be sold earlier due to bankruptcy brought about by the murder and civil trials. All things come round in circles.



GM

My God, Aren't Scotland Terrible?

There isn't much point to this post. It's just a way for me to feel better about what I witnessed last night at Hampden. It's safe to say that 37,000 others, along with the TV audience of Ryan, Ryan's family and everyone else, will probably still be in a state of shock.

First shocking point; we won. We won, with an injury time goal. That simply does not happen to Scotland. Over the years we have played many games in which we deserved to win but didn't. Rare is the day that we win despite not deserving it. The stadium didn't know how to react to the second half. Mostly, stunned silence reigned. At full time the cheers for the last minute winner were quickly displaced by hearty boos. After what transpired, I can't say I condemned it.

The main shock, obviously, is how inept our boys were against an opponent who have a population equivalent to Inverness to call upon.

While some individuals, McManus, Wallace and maybe McCulloch, performed decently, as a team effort it was on a par with the infamous Faroe Islands draw, and could easily have gone down as arguably the worst result in Scottish international history were it not for luck.

There is not much else that can be said, save my own brief opinions of the night and what it means for the future.

Our attacking play was hopeless, disjointed and devoid of ideas. We had simply no pace on the park, either in terms of individuals providing it or it being created through fast ball movement. From around the 65 to 85 minute marks Liechtenstein looked clearly superior to us, and that is just not on.

Just because we play 2 strikers, doesn't mean that we'll somehow become an unstoppable attacking force. Rather, we need to stick to what we usually do tactically and work on speed and creativity in attacking from that formation.

So in future, we have to go back to the effective 3 man midfield and the 'christmas tree'. My opinion; Stevie Fletcher supported by Dorrans and Naismith, with Brown (provided he's on form. Last night he was woeful), Fletcher and Hartley. McCulloch served no purpose against a team like Liechtenstein, and in general does not have enough pace to usefully cover his back 4. That he has gone from playing striker, to left wing,to centreback and now to holding midfield just shows that his minimal talents have evaporated away. Holding midfield is the easiest position in football to play averagely.

Barry Robson is shite personified and should be dropped post-haste. All he has ever done is waste free kicks and run into groups of defenders. Miller scored, but still displayed his infuriating hesitancy when around the ball. Boyd is a waste of space at international level (and at Championship level, it transpires). He can only get goals if his teammates are setting them up on a plate and if his opposition is tripe. He demonstrated last night that he can't perform against poor opposition, and that his goalscoring genius only works in 5-0 drubbings of SPL dregs.

On the whole, the squad is limited in depth and talent.

At the end of the day though, we're top of the group and Lithuania did us a great favour by beating the Czechs. It could be worse. Sadly, with Spain looming, it probably will be soon.

GM

How can David make Haye?

Audley Harrison - the man has seemingly died and come back to life more frequently than Doctor Who. The man who promised so much after the Sydney Olympics and let down so many people with his dull sluggish style (or lack of it) looked to be on the brink of an ignominious retirement. Then came the Prizefighter series on Sky Sports - an evening of quickfire matchups featuring 8 heavyweights, including Harrison, his old conqueror Danny Williams and six relative novices. Williams bowed out with a whimper after being knocked down by a man resembling a fridge. But Harrison won through in his usual style (or lack of it) to revive his career. Of course, the boos still remained.

Then came his one-armed assault on Michael Sprott, a man who had previously beaten him, in April. Down going into the 12th and final round, Harrison managed to find something within himself to knock Sprott out and become European Champion. For the first time, Harrison had shown some resolve and clearly has the belief that he can still do something with his career at the age of 38. In fact, he thinks he can take on the Klitschkos. Which brings us to current WBA Heavyweight Champion David Haye.

What does Haye stand to gain from fighting Harrison for the second defence of his title? If he wins, all is well and as expected and Harrison will slip off the radar forever, to the relief of many I'm sure. He surely will outclass the A-Force but this will prove none of his potential to go onto greater things. A defeat of this old veteran will hardly have Vitali and Wladimir quaking in their oversized boots and certainly will do nothing to increase the size of the purse when one of those two does eventually come calling. By the way, the way in which the Klitschkos appear to ducking Haye is very similar to that of Floyd Mayweather Jr with Manny Pacquiao - blaming anything and everything other than their own vulnerability to a superior fighter for the fights not going ahead. And why is this matchup taking place at the MEN Arena in Manchester? These guys are both Londoners - surely Wembley Arena or The New Den, home of Haye's beloved Millwall would have drawn more loyal fans and created a better (more hostile for Harrison) atmosphere.

The sensible option for Haye if the Klitschkos were indeed genuinely unavailable, would have been a rematch with Nikolai Valuev, ugly though that initial fight was. If Haye could have kept his hands in one piece and knocked the giant Valuev out for the first time in his career, then it would be a true sign of a man who could unify the heavyweight division.

Knocking bells out of Audley will not prove that

RM

The County Scene: Week 24 - Derbyshire bounce back as England march on

We'll start as ever with the international stuff, which this week featured much more off-field than on-field activity. As with last week, I'll try and leave the off-field stuff to the red tops and concentrate on the cricket. First on the agenda was a tour match at my beloved Taunton. Sadly, my schedule did not permit me to be there to shout (non-racist) abuse at the tourists!

Pakistan 264 (47.3 overs) (Shahzaib Hasan 105 off 120, Fawad Alam 97 off 107, Gregory 10-1-49-4) beat Somerset 256-9 (50 overs) (de Bruyn 122* off 142, Compton 50 off 72) by 8 runs

This close scoreline reflects a pretty decent performance from both teams. I'm particularly pleased for the 18-year-old debutant Lewis Gregory of Somerset. A native of Plymouth, I've probably played against the lad at some point without realising it, although I suspect the encounter was brief and ended with the shattering of my stumps. Pakistan were dug out of a hole by two batsmen to post a total and then produced a professional team bowling performance to seal it. They then moved on to Cardiff for the first of two T20 internationals.

1st T20 (Cardiff) - England 129-5 (17.1 overs) (Shoaib Akhtar 4-1-23-2) beat Pakistan 126-4 (20 overs) (Swann 4-0-14-2) by 5 wickets with 17 balls remaining. In the end it was all very comfortable after an early wobble from England's batsmen in their run chase. I'm not really convinced of the merits of playing both these games on the same Cardiff pitch, owing to the size of the boundaries and the stickiness of the surface. This match featured exactly no sixes and did not make for classic viewing and I'm sure the 2nd match tomorrow will be the same. However, England were thoroughly professional with the ball, although will be irked by the three catches they dropped. Spinners Swann and Yardy were the catalysts in restricting the tourists, finding unusual amounts of turn off the pitch, meaning the batsmen struggled to time the ball. This came after a decent start given by 36 year-old Mohammad Yousuf, who managed to adapt his normally serene game by hitting over the top. He's still shite at running between the wickets though. England's excellent ground fielding further restricted the total. I loved seeing Shoaib Akhtar back. I suspect the speed guns were tweaked slightly to keep things exciting as there is no way a 35-year-old could manage 96mph on that pitch, but he really troubled the top order with his skiddy bounce and pace. However, once Eoin Morgan (38*) and man-of-the-match Yardy (35* to go with 1-21 with the ball) were both dropped in quick succession, they manoevured the ball around with ease and managed to find their timing as England cruised home.

Now on to county matters - first of all the CB40. The semi-finals have pitted Somerset vs Essex and Yorkshire vs Warwickshire. Both of these games should be good close-fought encounters leading up to the grand finale of the season at Lord's. Seriously, if Somerset finish runners-up in all competitions I will be gutted - this is our best chance of silverware, although the Championship at Durham will have turned a few heads. With their game in hand, visitors and leaders Notts collapsed to 180 all out against a Durham attack shorn of the injured Steve Harmison and Mark Davies. Instead, it was Harmison's brother Ben who was the hero, taking 4-70 after skipper Phil Mustard had filled his boots in both innings with the bat (120 and 51*). Durham won by 210 runs.

However, the best Championship action of the week came at Bristol, a pitch which has proven a nightmare for batsmen all year. At the end of the first day, visitors Derbyshire were batting for the second time having been shot out for 44 first time around. The top score was 15 as Kiwi James Franklin took 7-14 in an innings lasting just 16.1 overs. Gloucestershire faired only slightly better in making 156, but on that deck a first innings lead of 112 seemed substantial. It took great resolve from 19 year old Chesney Hughes of Derbyshire to set a score for the hosts to chase. His 96* came out of 236, giving the hosts 125 to win. They made 70. The Guardian compared the comeback to Botham's Ashes match at Headingley in 1981. There is no doubting that the names were not as great, but the performance of Hughes certainly could be considered as much. Hailing from Anguilla, Hughes got a British passport this year and impressed with a few dashing performances in limited overs cricket. Here though, it took a lot more technique and resolve against a good quality seam attack with plenty of international experience to make an innings. He is my Victoria Sponge LAD of the week.

RM

The NFL Big Kick-Off - A Prediction Compilation

OK, so now I've managed to preview 31 out of 32 teams in the NFL (I have the Redskins 8-8 by the way, just for completeness), here is my final rundown of proceedings for 2010:

AFC East

New England Patriots 11-5
New York Jets 10-6
Miami Dolphins 8-8
Buffalo Bills 4-12

NFC West

San Francisco 49ers 10-6
Arizona Cardinals 7-9
Seattle Seahawks 5-11 (harsh looking back but I stand by my guns)
St Louis Rams 3-13

AFC North

Baltimore Ravens 12-4
Cincinnati Bengals 10-6
Pittsburgh Steelers 7-9 (definitely correct with Leftwich now out along with Big Ben)
Cleveland Browns 3-13

NFC South

New Orleans Saints 11-5
Atlanta Falcons 10-6
Tampa Bay Buccaneers 8-8
Carolina Panthers 6-10

AFC South

Indinapolis Colts 12-4
Houston Texans 10-6
Tennessee Titans 9-7
Jacksonville Jaguars 6-10

NFC North

Green Bay Packers 12-4
Minnesota Vikings 10-6 (halfway between my two original predictions as Favre has returned but half the player he was before)
Chicago Bears 7-9
Detroit Lions 5-11

AFC West

San Diego Chargers 10-6
Oakland Raiders 9-7
Denver Broncos 8-8
Kansas City Chiefs 5-11

NFC East

Dallas Cowboys 13-3
New York Giants 10-6
Philadelphia Eagles 9-7
Washington Redskins 8-8

This leaves the following playoff picture

AFC: Colts and Ravens get a bye, Patriots, Chargers, Jets and Texans in the wildcard round. Texans and Jets have superior divisional record to Bengals to qualify

NFC: Cowboys and Packers get a bye, Saints, 49ers, Giants and Falcons in the wildcard round. Vikings have weaker divisional record to Giants and Falcons.

Let's see how that goes, it'll probably all go wrong, but I've enjoyed this series and am now rareing to go for the new season
RM

The Big One - The NFC East

The phrase "vested interest" does not begin to describe the Beyond the Cliche view of the NFC East. Sadly, the way things seem to be going, neither of us will be cheering a side on in the playoffs. On a cheery note, you can always guarantee some feisty divisional matchups, this year with an added edge:

Dallas Cowboys - I have experts based in Dallas (OK, my uncle) who believes that the Cowboys' season depends on "how Tony gets on". At this point I realised my dog probably knows more about American football and so here is my own, more informed opinion. These guys are going to do well this year, much as I hate to say it. I know, we say it every year that the Cowboys will make a deep playoff run and they inevitably go one and done under Coach Wade Phillips. Times are changing. There is now a lot more consistent quality to their offense, to go with an already powerful defense. For a start, QB Tony Romo is doing less of the stupid stuff that has blighted his postseason form in the past. Things like fumbling the football or scrambling and throwing straight into coverage. Last season may have proven that Romo has turned a corner. This may in part be due to the breakout 2009 enjoyed by WR Miles Austin, who managed to shake up what looks like an ageing receiver corps. The first-round drafting of Dez Bryant, who could become one of the greats, will further add to the refreshing process, probably leading to the cutting or trading of one of the veterans, Patrick Crayton and Roy Williams (STOP PRESS Crayton has now been traded to the Chargers). The running game also appeared in transition at the end of last year, with the power of Marion Barber being gradually usurped by Felix Jones' explosive pace. Pace seems to be the vogue amongst RBs currently, with defenses looking to stop the powerhouses but finding no way to restrain the likes of Tennessee's Chris Johnson, the slipperiest of customers. The defense features plenty of solid performers, with names such as Jay Ratliff, DeMarcus Ware and Gerald Sensabaugh covering all bases. You really aren't going to get a lot past them this year. 13-3 and a possible Superbowl run. Note the word "possible".

Philadelphia Eagles - I've got a bad feeling about all this. Not a drastic 2008 Lions-type feeling, but more one which reflects the growing pains you have when you switch from an elite QB. Donovan McNabb was not loved in Philly, so Andy Reid looked to get him out at the first possible opportunity. This opportunity was when his back-up Kevin Kolb was deemed ready to step into his shoes. That moment has apparently come. With just one problem - we no longer have such an explosive offense to paper over the sizeable cracks in our defense. Kolb is solid and accurate and appears to have good, quick feet. However, he is not yet capable (and probably never will be) of making the long downfield pass to change a game in the way McNabb could. He'll probably throw less incompletions and interceptions though. The quick feet will come in handy in light of our pretty poor O-Line - Jason Peters must recover some of his form as soon as possible and Max Jean-Gilles must be kept out of the starting lineup! Kolb will take some lumps but will probably get around 3,500 yards for the season, as Reid's offense typically relies on throwing the ball. LeSean McCoy will get some action in the RB position, with Superbowl winner Mike Bell as his backup, so Kolb at least has more options than McNabb did last year, when the options consisted solely as handing the ball to Brian Westbrook, who didn't actually know where he was or what he was doing half the time a la Daniel Agger. DeSean Jackson is the star receiver, capable of making huge plays catching upfield or returning punts. The defense is what worries me most. We just seem to give up too many big plays. Asante Samuel is a great ball-hawking CB but still makes way too many mistakes. Sheldon Brown has been traded to Cleveland and will probably be replaced by Ellis Hobbs. Damn. So much depends on our new acquisitons, which leaves much of Sean McDermott's defensive strategy unknowns. First-round pick Brandon Graham looks to have beaten out Juqua Parker to the DE role opposite Pro-Bowler Trent Cole. Nate Allen, essentially drafted through the McNabb trade, is the next man to fill Brian Dawkins' role at safety. Ernie Sims has arrived from the Lions and will form a mean LB partnership with probably Akeem Jordan and the returning Stewart Bradley. After a year out with injury, the return of Bradley is a massive boost. 9-7 but no playoffs.

New York Giants - I gather the Giants are tipped to do quite well this year, although for the life of me I can't work out why. Yet, I find myself buying into the fact that they'll finish above the Redskins and the Eagles this season. Maybe it's the receivers - I can't really find much to get excited about in their running game or defense. There just doesn't seem to be an awful lot of change from last season, which many Giants fans will have regarded as a bit of a disaster. As I say, the receivers is where the strength lies - Mario Manningham, Steve Smith and sophomore Hakeem Nicks will compete for catches thrown by God himself, Eli Manning (all those who believe, say "I Beliiieeeve in Eli!"). Let's be straight about this, Eli is not Peyton and never will be. He lacks the consistency, the accuracy and the presence of his brother. The only thing their respective games has in common is a Superbowl ring, and even that had an air of divine intervention about it! The Giants running game is another in transistion. Brandon Jacobs had a terrible year last time, as sheer bulk proved to be not enough. He'd better start producing early on this year or Ahmad Bradshaw will be seeing a hell of a lot more of the ball in the backfield. The defense was the main weak spot last year and will remain so, as only Jason Pierre-Paul will make a real difference and concerns remain about his temperament and durability. Injuries cost them last year and there is nothing to say that this will not happen again. And yet I just have a feeling... 10-6.

Washington Redskins - Well, I enter this season with the typical Redskins fan's mix of emotions; hope from our aging but hopefully still talented veteran imports, and apprehension at the fact that we barely have enough linemen to form a line and in general have a roster as deep as a cheap teen movie. And the feeling that none of this, for good or bad, will last longer than a couple of seasons persists, and it will continue so long as the Skins continue to screw up their drafting. New QB Donovan McNabb, for example, will perform better than Jason Campbell (trust me, I've seen enough of him to want him replaced). However, the cost of a slight upgrade is the sacrifice of half of next years draft. And it's not as if the last couple have produced any decent results. Brian Orakpo aside, few of the players drafted by Jim Zorn look like having in impact. The new management team of Shanahan, Haslett and GM Bruce Allen should yield improved results this year and beyond, and will hopefully sort out the drafting side of the business. For now though, the existing talent has to be maximised. The switch to the 3-4 defense, I assume, is part of this but it seems illogical to me. Orakpo will benefit, and could easily be the new Demarcus Ware, but aside from him there is nobody in the defensive front 7 suited to the new scheme. Albert Haynsworth in particular has reminded us of this. Repeatedly. Shanahan needs to get something out of the fat, greedy bugger. If he can, then the D could still be decent. It has been, after all, top 10 for most of the past 5 years. Offensively, the Skins will go as far as the O-line can take them. There are no proven backups and the starting tackles are a rookie and a recently injured veteran; not ideal. The lack of wide recievers might not be so bad if the line were fantastic but as it is, unless T.J. Houshmandzadeh or Vincent Jackson are acquired, the recieving corps will handicap McNabb. At least the tight ends, Cooley and Davis, are good. And any running game managed by Shanahan will do fine. Sadly, it all won't be enough. I think the Redskins will struggle to get anywhere near 7-9.

(GM)

RM

The Back Page - September 2010

It's been six months now since we started up Beyond the Cliche. So far we have successfully managed to combine insightful punditry with our own offbeat senses of humour. However, the thought occured that it may be better if we kept both of these entities separate. Hence, we have a new monthly feature (hopefully!), which will allow us to review the previous month and look forward to the upcoming month through the medium of idiocy. Just kinda hope it works really!

Lookalike of the month

When it comes to spotting these doppelgangers, you have to say that Nobody Does it Better than myself and Graeme! Which is ironic when you consider I was watching The Spy Who Loved Me the other night and thought I saw rugby's motormouth ex-hooker Brian Moore playing another one of those silent henchmen. Turned out it was just 70s hardman actor Milton Reid, but have a look and see what you think:

Review of the month

• Personal highlight - a certain Mr Iain Russell facilitating this current state of affairs: http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/scot_div_1/div_2_table/default.stm
• Personal lowlight - Sebastian Vettel's crazy overtaking manoevure in the wet at Spa, taking Jenson Button off with him and all but ending my chances of making a fiver out of my dad (I bet that Jenson would finish ahead of Lewis Hamilton in the drivers' championship.) Bloody Germans.
• Moment of the month - THAT ball from Graeme Swann to bowl Imran Farhat at Edgbaston. It proved that the finger spinner is far from dead and that Swann can be a handful for anyone anywhere - positives for the Ashes.
• LAD of the month - Theo Walcott. Telling Mr Hansen where to shove it through consistently excellent goalscoring performances. Arsenal off to a flier.

Hopes for September

• That the Moliniari brothers make more headlines than the Milibands this month. The Italian duo, making their Ryder Cup debuts, will hope to lead Europe to victory at Celtic Manor. The Milibands will hope to avoid further character assassinations by "senior Tory figures" in the Labour leadership contest.
• The new NFL season lives up to all expectation. Kevin Kolb hopefully exceeds expectations!
• 4 points out of 6 for Scotland is a minimum requirement. 6 would be preferable at the start of Euro 2012 qualifying.
• Andy Murray doesn't cry (again) when Federer beats him in the final of the US Open (again).

Sliding Scale of the Month

It's the triumphant return of the Bradford-o-meter. In the first two pre-season games, our $50 million hero had lumps taken out of him due to his brittle O-Line. But now, he appears to have won his starting battle with AJ Feeley and looked good in a victory over the Patriots, throwing for 2 TDs, despite losing top WR Donnie Avery along the way. Things are looking up for Sam!

RM